Chapter 7 John has no power over Fuko #2
He did do all that, but Sashka doesn’t know, and will never know about the worst thing that happened.
We had sex multiple times after that. I kept going back.
I couldn’t stop myself. The sex is fine, and I get very lonely and need distraction anytime something goes wrong, which is pretty often if you’re me.
Some deep internal reflection is required; I am aware. I am just not ready to unpack this yet.
‘Wow, so he basically submitted the Burn Book to the principal.’ Toby laughs.
‘What?’ Sashka asks.
‘Regina George? Mean Girls.’
Sashka doesn’t enjoy watching films. She much prefers Turkish dramas that used to broadcast on one of the channels back in Ukraine.
‘Ah, Fuko is the film nerd. Was that a good reference?’ She turns to me.
‘Hysterical and unreasonable. Childish revenge. Yep, pretty good, I would say. More What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? in some aspects but...’
‘Wow, that’s an old one. Very impressive.’
The corners of his mouth curl. There is something in the way his gaze studies my face, how low his voice sounds.
Hmm. Okay. This feels strange. Maybe I should lay off film talk to give them more chances to connect. Or just keep quiet for the rest of the evening. Except Sashka has a very different idea.
SCENE
INT. brITISH PUB – DAY
TOBY, SASHKA, and FUKO sit in a circular leather booth. Toby smiles when Sashka talks. Fuko looks tense with a single glass of cider in front of her.
SASHKA
Oh yeah, I think Fuko’s read that book.
Toby glances at Fuko. Camera spins around arriving back onto the group. Fuko now has two empty glasses in front of her. Toby says something.
SASHKA
That’s where Fuko wants to go!
Fuko’s head is in her hands. Toby just nods politely. Camera spins. There are now three glasses in front of Fuko, who is looking into the distance. Toby and Sashka are talking.
SASHKA
I swear, Fuko, you have said the same thing about meal deals! Didn’t you, Fuko? They are no longer a meal or a deal.
THE END
Oh. My. God. I am not dating Toby, Sashka. What the fuck are you doing? She doesn’t seem to notice, every sentence coming out with genuine affection for me and attempting to engage with Toby’s interests.
‘Where is Leon?’ I ask in desperation.
‘Oh, he can’t make it anymore.’
‘What about theatre? Sashka loves the opera.’ I try to intervene.
‘I am more into musicals,’ Toby says, unassuming.
So am I.
‘So is Fuko!’
I am ready to blow my brains out. Last attempt, since Sashka is not understanding, I glare at Toby. Please get it. Please get it.
‘But I am interested in going to an opera, if you have any recommendations.’
Kami-sama ni kansha. I thank which ever godly power was responsible. That’s that Oxford brain coming through.
They look through the National Opera website and select something Hungarian in nature.
Maybe it’s the porky cider talking, but I think I need to stay away from Toby so as not to give him any ideas. Reduce the contact to the barest of minimums. My bad luck could do some real damage here. But I need to shadow him for two weeks as he does his research.
I can do two weeks.
And then I will be moved to the other marketing section with other people around me.
We look through the data in the office with me sitting as far away from him as possible.
‘So, in the brief, the clients have outlined the purpose of the research—what is the easiest and the cheapest way to reach their customers. How would you go about it?’
‘Focus groups? Competitors? Social media is a classic.’ I attempt to answer Toby’s question.
‘All good, we also have our own databases that people shouldn’t get access to.’
‘O-o-o, secret database. Do spies try to break in?’ I joke, but he nods.
‘They absolutely do. Corporate espionage is really high at the moment, so be careful with your kit. IT treats any attempt at a break-in as if we’re the Pentagon, and you look too trusting. Easily corruptible.’
He says the last word with meaningless playfulness, which makes me skip a breath.
‘Uh-huh.’ I brush him off. ‘I don’t think anyone would pay attention to some intern.’
‘Their loss.’ He smiles and cocks his head. ‘I reckon you could blackmail me if you wanted to.’
Does he mean to be flirty with me, or is this his version of cat-and-mouse entertainment?
Over the next two weeks, Toby keeps dropping comments that are...
odd? Not in a creepy way, but always in a way that makes me question whether he just thinks I’m gullible and an easy target, or he genuinely doesn’t know that the tone of his voice, the way his eyes slide up and down, the leaning over my shoulder could be misconstrued as... amorous.
And they are always so vague that it would honestly be weirder if I asked about them, because it could be in my head, because it’s been a minute and I might be misreading things.
Like when I asked whether he had a minute, and he responded with, ‘You can have all my minutes you want.’
By itself—not a big deal, just a funny comment. But in conjunction with ‘You are the only person in the office I can trust, you’ve seen me naked’, and ‘I could mentor you, if you want’, and ‘Where have you been all my life?’.
Okay. Maybe they don’t sound like what I think they do, but it was the way he said them.
The correct course of action is to ask him to stop, but it’s only for two weeks, and then I am Toby-free.
And... I am learning a lot from him. He is great at explaining Steven’s senseless, rambling e-mails and at forcing me to ask the right questions of the right people without bothering them too much.
And his research is useful for trend prediction, which has got me a shout-out on the work bulletin board from Adzo.
And sometimes when he just sits at his desk I find him deep in thought, not a trace of his usual mildly playful self, which makes him seem more normal.
Still, I will be glad to go our separate ways at work.
No need to make things more complicated.
‘Toby and Fukoh, I am going to put you on secondment with the PR crisis team for a month,’ Steven announces the next day, mispronouncing my name, as usual.
‘It’s an excellent experience for personal development.
I think if you shadow Fawzia, you will increase your take-home salary by at least ￡1000 after completion.
It is a tight-knit group. You will learn how to rely on each other. ’
‘It’s only tight-knit if it comes from the crochet region of France,’ Toby whispers to me, and I guffaw.
Hook or needles, something is tying us into a knot that I just cannot escape.