Chapter 42
SADIE
Back at the hotel, my hair is wet and soaking through my tank top, but I stop drying it when I hear my phone buzzing uncontrollably on the nightstand. I pick it up and swipe my passcode.
Emma
Hey, Sadie. I’m not worried, but Mom and Dad are asking if I’ve heard from you.
Sophie
Of course they are.
Emma
It’s okay to be concerned, Soph.
Sophie
This is Sadie we’re talking about.
Emma
Sophie
The golden child.
Emma
Sophie
The one who does no wrong.
Emma
Sophie
Miss Perfect.
At this I choose to reply.
Sadie
I’m in NYC. Actually Jersey.
Emma
What? I thought you were in South Carolina.
Sadie
We drove.
Sophie
JEALOUS!
Emma
When will you be back?
I swallow hard.
How do you go back to a life that doesn’t feel like the life you want anymore?
Sadie
I don’t know.
Emma
Sadie, you’ve got to let Mom or Dad know.
Sophie
What’s it like?
Thrilling. Different. A place I could see myself.
Sadie
It’s not Dusty Hollow.
Sophie
AMEN!
Emma
Dusty Hollow is not so bad.
Sophie
But not everyone belongs there.
Emma
Sadie, are you okay?
These are my sisters. The ones who have cried on my shoulder and asked for my advice. The ones I always thought I’d disappoint because I was supposed to be the example, a pedestal slipped beneath my feet lifting me to perfection. Good grades. Good morals.
But I’m so tired of that pedestal. So tired of the expectation of having my life together when my heart was falling apart and no one seemed to notice. And while I’ve only been gone five days . . . I’ve felt pieces of my heart settling back where they belong.
Sadie
I haven’t been okay in a long time, but I’m starting to think I’m going to be.
I type the words honestly. No pretending. No acting like everything is fine.
Then, because I’m feeling truthful . . .
Sadie
I kissed Milo.
Sophie
YES! YES! YES!
Emma
What about Grant?
Sophie
She’s not dating Grant.
Emma
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist.
Sadie
I’ll talk to him when I get home.
Emma
What does this all mean?
I stare at the question for a moment. I’ve always had plans and checklists.
Lists.
I reach for my purse, digging through to find the folded piece of paper.
Try Something You’ve Never Done
Speed on a back road.
Order dessert first.
Quit something you’re “good” at.
Go somewhere without a plan.
Wear something just because I like it.
Climb the water tower.
Watch an R-rated movie.
Get a tattoo.
Kiss a stranger.
Paint the walls in my house.
I smile at it.
Sadie
It means I’ve still got some things to do.
Then I turn off my phone and lay the list on Milo’s pillow so he can see it when he gets out of the shower.