Little Shake of Salt (Creature Cafe #15)

Barista

“I want a mate.”

This was how it always started, of course. A monster showing up in my cooler, in my cafe, on my doorstep—begging me to find the one for them. Their fated mate. Their forever and always. The balm to soothe their aching soul.

Typically, though, these words were not spoken to me by a mermaid floundering angrily in a bathtub.

This was one of those moments in my very long and incredibly chaotic life where I questioned if I was really cut out to be a father. I loved all of my children, but the two lingering behind me with big eyes were going to be the true death of me.

Layla called me. I was glad she did. I never wanted her to feel like she couldn’t call me, and of course I’d rushed to help. I’d never deny my children help.

But gods damn it all, this was another disaster. Not only were we risking human attention at this point, but every day my eldest flexed her growing Grim Reaper muscles was another day I feared our family was in danger.

My eldest son cleared his throat. “I’m going to go help clean Sage’s apartment,” Luca said.

“Oh, no you don’t,” I said gruffly. Layla had opened a portal to try to move boxes out of our human friend’s apartment, and instead, she’d opened a portal to the ocean and kidnapped a mermaid. “Neither you nor Layla are going anywhere.”

“But the mermaid is . . .”

She let out a violent hiss. “Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed by my nipples, human runt.”

“Once again, I’m not a human.” Luca crossed his arms. His cheeks were turning red now that the obvious was pointed out. “I just don’t want you to be embarrassed.”

“I am not. You’re not even my type.”

“Well, you’re not my type either.”

Layla sighed. “Luca, shut up. You’re making everything worse.”

“I don’t match monsters and humans. I don’t need to be here with a half-naked mer—”

I turned my head, giving him a cold look that had his spine stiffening. Yes, the mermaid’s tits were out. Why the fuck would a mermaid wear a bra? She lived in the ocean, in her own underwater world, away from the societies shaped by humanity.

“I’m sorry,” Luca sighed. “That comment was uncalled for. I’ll stay here.”

Layla inched toward the bathroom door. “I should help Sage—”

“You have done enough, Layla,” I snapped.

I heard the movements outside the bathroom as everyone attempted to clean up Sage’s flooded apartment.

Their mate, a tall posh mothman, was soothing them.

They were laughing about this predicament, which was good.

Fitz was always such a light-hearted fellow.

I envied him for that, actually. It did make me feel a lot better that despite the disaster at hand, both Sage and Fitz were in good spirits. I knew they were the perfect match.

The mermaid cleared her throat. “I don’t really care to be here for this family spat, Barista. But I am owed a boon, am I not? For being portaled out of my home, suffocating on the floor, and having to sit in this humiliating bathtub with my breasts out.”

I massaged my temples. Merpeople were always like this. The last time I’d matched a merman, it was because he’d interrupted my vacation with demands I find him a mate because of something else I owed his people from a couple hundred years ago. “Yes, you are owed a boon. What is your name?”

She sniffed, tipping her head up with pride. “You should know, shouldn’t you?”

“Creature, if I knew every name of every monster in this world, I would be akin to a god.”

A wry smile played across her lips. “And are you not?”

“Tell me your name,” I said sternly. “And tell me what you seek.”

“Many know me as Her Highness of Northern Atlantis, but you can call me Marina. That title is not even my full name, but it does not matter. About thirty years ago, I picked out a human-sounding one so my future mate would not struggle with it.”

The headache increased tenfold. In fact, it turned out, I had matched Marina’s older brother about twenty-six years ago. Nerio and Ofelia.

Which also meant, not only had Layla managed to pluck a mermaid out of the fucking ocean, she’d managed to kidnap a princess.

“Atlantis is real?” Layla whispered.

I shot her a look over my shoulder and her cheeks turned red. She straightened next to Luca, the two of them radiating with worry.

Marina bared her razor-sharp teeth. She was beautiful, as all seapeople were, but if enraged, she’d become terrifying. All the lore about mermaids that humans knew were spun to flatter the beauty of them, but mermaids were just as vicious and monstrous as some of the most prickly demons I knew.

“Marina,” I said, trying for patience. “What do you search for in a mate?”

“I want a woman who loves the sea. I want a woman who wants me to drive my tongue into her for hours.”

Well. Straight to the point at least.

“I can go on if you’d like.” She was glowering at Luca, her eyes reminding me of the inside of a shell. Her tail whacked the tiled floor, her blue and silver scales gleaming under the bathroom light.

“I will find your mate,” I promised. “Just as I found Nerio’s mate.”

Marina’s eyes lit up. “Ah, yes. I forgot my older brother was matched by you. He and Ofelia are very happy.”

“Of course they are. We will host the date at our cafe, and we will make a portal there so you can still be in the ocean. Almost like a pool. I will make the portal, of course, but I’ll leave it to Layla to set up your first date.”

Marina raised a brow at Layla. “The one who dragged me out of the ocean? I rather boil her in—”

Embers lit in my beard and she yelped, her face paling. The room grew dark, my shadow threatening to take over. “My daughter made a mistake. These things happen. You will find your mate now, though, so perhaps it was a fortunate mistake.”

Marina turned her attention to me, and smiled. “Perhaps, Barista.”

“Friday morning of next week,” I said. “Be ready at nine. We will buy your coffee and provide a pastry of choice as well.”

“And it won’t flood your precious cafe?”

“No,” I grunted.

“If you say so.” She hesitated a moment, but then her shoulders relaxed. “Thank you, Barista. Can you send me back now?”

“Yes.” I waved my hand, opening a portal right beneath her.

I felt Layla’s interest peak, because the portal did not allow the water to rush in.

That was because it required a different part of our power to create it.

I gave Marina a short, respectable bow, sent her through the portal with a splash, closed it, and then faced my children.

Luca crossed his arms. His eyes were dark and stormy, and he reminded me so much of Lucy when he acted like this. Sometimes in ways that worried me, too.

Layla was upset and hurt. I frowned and stepped closer to her, lifting my hand to the back of her head.

“She hit the floor hard,” Luca mumbled.

I let out a long, pent-up sigh. I needed Lucy or Trixie to handle this one this time, perhaps.

“You called?”

I flinched when Lucy appeared behind me wearing a devilish smirk. His wings tucked in neatly behind him, his horns curling back into his dark hair.

Of course my handsome devil felt the tug of need in our bond.

His smile immediately evaporated the moment he saw Luca and Layla.

“Oh my.” He looked around the bathroom and let out a gentle tut. “What trouble has our family caused this time?”

“I drew a portal,” Layla blurted out. “And I was trying to help Sage and Fitz move, but it opened into the ocean. I flooded their apartment and a mermaid came through. Apparently a . . . royal one.”

“And you bumped your head,” Lucy said, his hand settling on my lower back. “Are you okay, sweetness?”

Her eyes welled up with tears. “I’m fine, Dad. I’m just mad at myself.”

“It happens to the best of us, Layla.”

“Right. Can I go now?” Luca asked.

I felt the wrench of concern in Lucy’s heart. Luca always worried him the most, and I understood why. Lucy had not been a good father before our children, and while he’d done a lot to make amends with Gabriel, he still lived with the fear of repeating past mistakes.

But, something was going on with Luca. I felt it, Trixie felt it, Lucy felt it.

“I’d prefer you stay,” Lucy said. “While we sort things out.”

“Papa handled it just fine.”

Oof. “All right.” I ran my fingers through my beard. “Okay. A few things here to cover.”

“Are you mad?” Layla asked.

When I didn’t immediately answer, Lucy jumped in.

“Making portals is complicated.” He sent me a sideways look.

“And you’re just now presenting powers. It will take some time to get a good grasp on them.

Your father is very very good at them because he’s been alive for centuries.

We are ancient, and we’ve had lifetimes to master our abilities.

But, I remember a time when B was not so good with his powers and I beat him to a pulp repeatedly. ”

I narrowed my eyes on him. We’d be revisiting that comment later.

Luca let out a soft chuckle, relaxing a fraction. “No one ever talks about your past.”

Lucy winced. “It’s for the best, truth be told. I am the devil, you know. Lucifer. Very evil for a long time. So, I think the two of you are doing just fine. A little mermaid coming out of a portal is nothing in the grand scheme of things.”

“It is something,” I countered, unable to keep my voice from straining. “I don’t think we should diminish this. It was a mistake, but I will teach you more, Layla. And in the future, call me and ask before doing something if you need help.”

“I didn’t think I needed help,” she said. “It was just moving boxes. And now I have to set up a date for a mermaid.”

“And find her human.”

Layla’s brows shot up. “What?”

“You heard me,” I said. “And find her human.”

I felt a tail coil around my ankle and tighten gently. Lucy.

“Only if you think you can—”

“Oh, I can,” Layla said, her eyes darkening with determination. “I will.”