26. Chase What You Want
Time was funny.
When I’d worked at The Roulette, each day had seemed to drag miserably. A week had felt like an endless eternity.
With Ash, our first week of being us had flown by in a blink. Yet at the same time, it felt like we’d been together for much longer than we had.
Ash as my Daddy was intense—in the very best way.
Whatever patience he’d used to take things slow before we got together was long gone. He didn’t hold back, and he didn’t allow me to, either. True to his word, he was greedy with my time. If he wasn’t working, we were together. Even if he was working—minus when he’d been out at meetings for a whole day—I went with him.
And every night, I went to sleep with his body on mine, his cock nestled against me, and my arm tied to his bed.
And every morning, he took whatever tee I’d slept in and wore it under his suit.
It was crazy.
It was hot.
It was so crazy hot.
The only sour note in the week had been Veronica’s continued presence. Not physically—she hadn’t shown up after our interaction at Moonlight—but she’d texted.
A lot.
Asking how I was. If I was okay. When those went without a response, she’d begun to tell me about mundane things she’d seen or heard. Like she was just a normal mom checking in.
I didn’t trust it. But at the same time, I hadn’t told her to stop. I hadn’t blocked her. It was pathetic, but I still wasn’t sure I could cut her out of my life.
A voice in my head warned me that if I did that, then once Ash was gone, I’d have no one. I’d be completely alone. I didn’t pay attention to it—much—but that didn’t mean it wasn’t there.
Other than that, though, life was good. Not good enough. Not as good as it was going to get.
Just plain good.
And as I finished tying a rope into place, a tremor ran down my side because I knew it was about to get even better.
Stepping back, I inspected my work in the full-length mirror in Ash’s penthouse. It wasn’t perfect. And it definitely wasn’t as easy as Ash made it look. But it was secure.
Hopefully.
I walked around the living room to test it before quickly realizing my error.
I’d wanted to tease Ash.
Yet as my skin rubbed against the soft rope, it was me who quickly grew aroused.
Let’s hope he has a similar reaction so it can at least be mutual torture.
After sending him a text that I was headed out, I rode the elevator lobby down to the first floor. Rather than Elliot or one of the other couple of security guards who’d had to babysit me, a different one waited for me. The other man who’d seen me pickpocket.
Miles.
I wasn’t hit with the same shame spiral as before, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t awkward.
Whoa boy, was it awkward.
But I was too excited about the night to let my embarrassment ruin it.
A freak-out would be a waste of this dress.
I pasted on a smile. “You pulled the babysitting short straw, huh?”
“Technically, I’m only walking you to Supermoon, so it’s escort duty, and I volunteered.”
Considering Ash had mentioned that Miles was the head of security for the whole resort, I didn’t believe he’d volunteered for the demotion. But I appreciated his willingness to lie so I felt better.
My brows lowered. “Supermoon?”
“The arena.”
Usually when I walked through the resort, it was with Ash when he was in a hurry—either to get to work or get me home. I never asked too much about the place, and he never offered it. Not because he was gatekeeping. I just got the feeling that since he saw it all the time, it didn’t occur to him that it was something so spectacular.
Miles was different. Like a tour guide rather than security, he pointed out interesting tidbits. The most popular slot machines. The biggest jackpots won. Which table the poker regulars fought over and which they refused. What celebrities they’d hosted. Which ones they’d banned. Tiny detailing in the decor.
I could’ve listened to him talk all day, but before I knew it, we turned into an alcove with a single door. He swiped his card to unlock it before leading me down a long corridor. We turned at the end into another hall.
And there, all alone at the end, was Ash on the phone.
I couldn’t have planned this better if I tried.
Ducking back around the corner, I glanced at Miles to see that he’d gone alert. I kept my voice as quiet as possible. “Can you turn around?” Then I thought about how Ash would likely react. “And you, uh, might want to stay behind me after this.”
Amusement tipped his lips, and he didn’t say anything as he turned around.
Moving quickly before Ash left that spot and I lost my opportunity, I undid the hidden hook-and-eye clasps that held the top part of the slits closed.
When I’d asked Ash to tie me earlier in the week, he’d done a knot that’d held my legs spread. Once I’d been capable of thought, an idea had formed, and I’d asked Juliet to add closures to the sexy dress she’d made.
I wanted to tease Ash, not send him through the roof.
When the clasps were closed, the slits started high on my thigh but nothing could be seen. With them open, though, the slits started even higher. And a lot could be seen.
Which was the view I gave Ash.
After peeking around the corner to be sure he was still alone, Miles and I started walking. With each step I took, the black dress draped and the slit opened until the thin black rope I had wrapped around the top of my thighs showed.
No one could ever describe my legs as long. But between the slits and the small wedge heels I’d borrowed from Juliet, they looked long-ish.
Ash turned at my approach, looking devilishly handsome in a black suit with a black shirt. As soon as he saw me, a smile began to form. It froze as his gaze moved down my body. After a stunned few seconds, he snapped out of it and moved.
And he didn’t stop until I was in his arms.
Carrying me into a room, he slammed the door behind us and then slammed me into said door. His kiss was wild as his hand roamed up my bare thigh. Hitting the rope, he tugged and groaned.
And I moaned as it pulled taut between my legs.
“I’m going to spank your ass raw for walking through the building like this.” His threat lost some of its menace when he tenderly dragged his lips along my jaw, his rough beard teasing. “And then I’m going to have to spend the night reviewing security footage and hunting down the bastards who dared to look at what’s mine. Starting with Miles. Last time I ask him to walk with you.”
I knew it.
“That sounds like a long night,” I said. “You should probably let me go so you can get started.”
“Not until I fuck you so I know it’s Daddy’s cum dripping out of you all night.” He reached between us to free himself, but I stopped him.
“That’ll have to wait.”
He reared back. “Why?”
“You have work to do.”
“You’re more important.”
It wasn’t the first time he’d said that. It certainly wasn’t the first time he’d shown it. I nearly gave in, but I held strong.
Barely.
Since evasiveness hadn’t worked, I went with the truth. “Then it’ll have to wait because I want to torture you.”
Though we both knew there were a million ways he could get me to change my mind, Ash went along with it. “Will you at least let me look? And before you answer, know I’m prepared to beg.”
Since my plan to tease him was dependent on him seeing me in the dress, I nodded and waited for him to put me down.
He didn’t.
Gripping my hips, he slid me up the door before adjusting his hold so my spread legs were draped over his arms. “Move the dress. Show Daddy what my good girl did.”
I did as he ordered, tempting my control and his.
The thin rope looped around my hips and each thigh, almost perfectly outlining my black panties. The look would’ve been more effective without them, but there was only so much I could push myself at once. I knew it didn’t matter when Ash spoke.
“Christ. I could die right now, and I wouldn’t have to be sent to the afterlife. I’ve already experienced heaven.”
“The knots are trickier than they look,” I whispered, not sure what else to say to something like that.
“You did them perfectly.”
It was a lie, but one I happily accepted.
Lowering me, he kissed me again before setting me on my feet. “As much as I love how you look right now, Camila, there is no way in hell I’m letting you go out there wearing that. Ropes against your pretty skin are only for Daddy to see.”
I reached down and redid the clasps before standing upright.
Ash stepped back so he could take me in again. His palm ran over his beard, his thumb dragging over his lip as he slowly—meticulously—ran his gaze down my body.
The way he looks at me.
The way he looks.
Who needs boxing or plans or anything other than this feeling?
“Ready?” I prompted before I gave in.
Ash held the eye contact as he reached down and adjusted his length. Even then, he had to fasten his suit jacket.
Definitely mutual torture.
Once Ash was set, he raised his chin, and I turned and opened the door. I didn’t get into the hall before a hand wrapped around my hip, and my steps were halted. He ran his rough fingertips along the lines and knots of the dress. “I owe Juliet a lifetime supply of Get-Out-Of-A-Snitch cards.”
Releasing my hip to take my hand, Ash started down the hall. The closer we got to the doors at the end, the louder the noise became. People were already taking their seats. And like the resort all week, it was packed.
We continued until we reached the first row, where Juliet and Cole already sat. Ash nudged me into a cushiony seat next to them. “I have to do my bullshit and make sure everything is good. I’ll try to make this quick, but the opening match will probably start before I’m back. Do not get out of this chair. Understood?”
I nodded.
He stared at me expectantly.
I hesitated, but only for half a second. “Yes, Daddy.”
I could’ve called him Behemoth, and he’d have accepted that, but it wasn’t like Juliet would be shocked by the name.
And even if someone else around was, I didn’t care. The proud smile he wore was all that mattered to me.
He pressed his smiling mouth to mine and left to do his bullshit. Whatever that meant.
Juliet leaned closer. “Soooo… I take it he liked the dress.”
“What makes you say that? I mean, you’re right, but what gave it away?”
She hooked a thumb over her shoulder. “Miles told Maximo that Ash barely looked at you before carrying you into a random office.”
My brows shot up. “That wasn’t his office?”
“Nope.”
That made it even better.
She waggled her brows. “Not to mention, Ash’s suit jacket is closed. It’s never closed.”
That made it even better, too.
A charismatic man spoke into a mic as he paced the fighting stage thingy. I knew nothing about boxing, but even I was beginning to get excited with all his hyping. More people streamed in, and every once in a while, Juliet pointed at one while she whispered gossip.
Maximo was back before Ash, and I was about to shift down the row to make room. But he just plucked Juliet from the seat, sat, and then positioned her on his lap.
“It’s a rule,” she said with an eye roll, like she wasn’t grinning about it.
“Ash has the same one.”
I wasn’t sure if it would apply to a crowded public place that was also his work, and I was surprised to realize I hoped it did—even if it would draw attention.
The lights dimmed, and someone else took over hosting duties as loud music thumped through the speakers. Two boxers were introduced and came jogging down the aisle right next to us. Juliet occasionally leaned in to tell me something, but what little I heard above the cacophony of chaos, I didn’t understand.
A bell rang, and the fighting started.
It wasn’t bad. Not at first. It mostly seemed like they were dancing around each other. What few punches were swung looked light. But after a few rounds, things changed. The guy in the yellow shorts punched a certain way that left his face unblocked. Juliet again told me what was happening, but I didn’t absorb any of it. Not when I was watching a murder.
The guy in the blue shorts found his opening and took it. He got the upper hand and was advancing, forcing Yellow to retreat. Yellow was still trying. He was throwing punches.
But he was mostly taking a beating.
I can’t watch this. I have to go.
I darted up and moved before I even realized what I was doing. Before Maximo or Juliet, either, because by the time he reached for me, I was already in the aisle and out of reach.
Turning from the violence and bloodshed, I ran up the aisle.
Ash.
I need Ash.
I was vaguely aware of someone yelling behind me, but then something happened with the fight, and the place erupted into applause and shouts.
The last part just made everything worse.
I ran for the doorway we’d entered through and slammed into it, only to discover it was locked. An arm reached around me to swipe a card, and I looked over my shoulder.
Ash.
Thank God.
Keeping my back to his front, Ash wrapped his arms around my waist and propelled me forward. He stalked down the hallway before entering an office and slamming the door behind us. That time, it was my front pressed to it.
“What’d I tell you about running from me?” I tried to turn to explain, but his large hand between my shoulder blades held me in place. His other hand lifted my long skirt. “I warned you, Camila.”
The sound of fabric tearing cut through the air, and I thought it was the dress. I was wrong.
It was my panties.
Ash’s finger plunged into me from behind. He added a second, and his thumb circled my clit until I was panting. Before I could come, he took his hand away and gripped the rope at either of my hips to lift me. I gasped at the pressure between my thighs. His body pushed in closer until I was pinned between him and the door.
And then his cock slammed into me. Filled me so completely, it stole my breath. With the tight angle, each inch seemed to meld with me permanently. Like I’d feel him there for the rest of my life. I wanted that.
Neededit.
He fucked me with that same desperation. Like he couldn’t get close enough. Like he needed to fuse his body to mine. Connect us until we couldn’t be separated.
His palm slapped on the door in front of my face to keep himself upright. He used his other hand on my hip to move me up and down his length as he surged into me.
Over.
And over.
And over.
Like the boxing outside, it was brutal. Violent.
Unlike the match, it was also beautiful. It made me feel protected. Wanted.
Safe.
I was right on the verge of coming apart when I heard laughter out in the hall. The speed in Ash’s thrusts slowed, but not the power. He pulled out to the tip before quickly plunging in. His tattooed hand covered my mouth.
“Don’t let them hear you,” he whispered in my ear, his rough voice making goosebumps spread across my skin. He pulled out to the tip and plunged in again. I whimpered, and his hold on my mouth tightened. “If they hear those sweet noises, I’ll be forced to kill them. Those are for Daddy.” Another hard thrust that made my pussy tighten around him. “All of you is only ever for Daddy.”
Choking down the screams that wanted to push free, I didn’t just come apart.
I exploded.
My brain was barely functioning when Ash slid his hand from my mouth to my jaw, lifting it so I met his eyes. “I told you if you run from me, I’ll chase you.” His thumb slid between my lips and pressed to my tongue, forcing my mouth open. His already rough thrusts grew vicious as he pumped into me, filling me with cock and cum until it was being forced right back out to drip down to undoubtedly coat the ropes I was bound with. “I’ll always chase you, Camila.”
I’ll always chase you, Camila.
“I wasn’t running from you. I was running to find you because I knew you’d make me feel safe. Happy one week, Daddy,” I whispered.
And then I burst into tears.
“Oh, sunshine,” he murmured, turning me in his hold to carry me to a chair. He sat and positioned me on his lap. One of his palms stroked up and down my back, but his other stayed wrapped in the rope at my hip. “I didn’t realize.”
I tried to laugh, but it mixed with my tears to sound like nonsense. “I know that’s not a real thing. But it’s been the best week of my entire life, and I wanted to show you that I appreciate it by surprising you with the ropes. But then I ruined it by making a scene. Again.”
“You didn’t ruin anything.”
“Maximo and Juliet are going to think I’m insane.”
“No, they’re going to be worried about you.” He dipped into my line of vision. “Just like I was.”
I inhaled deeply, not sure what to say. How to explain.
So I didn’t. “You have to go back to work.” He opened his mouth to argue, but I placed my thumb over it like he did to me.
And he bit me.
“If you don’t go back to work, I’m going to feel even worse. I’ll never be able to face Juliet again.” When he still didn’t look like he’d agree, I added, “And that means she’ll never be able to make me sexy dresses.”
He stared at me for a few stretching seconds. “I’ll get you settled upstairs first.”
“Can I just stay here? I, uh, don’t think I can go back out to the arena, but I don’t want to be that far from you.”
I got a brief glimpse of his tender expression before he kissed me.
When he pulled away, he asked, “Do you have your phone?”
I shook my head. “You and Juliet are the only people I talk to, and you’re both here.”
Wow.
That’s pitiful.
Ash didn’t look like he felt the same way. His smile was all arrogance and wickedness. He stood and sat me on the chair before taking his cell from his pocket and putting it on the desk next to us. Like his openness was nothing, he stated, “Passcode is 9407. If you need anything, text Marco. Don’t leave this office until I come get you.”
I nodded.
His hands went to the arms of the chair on either side of me as he dipped his face into mine. “You’re already going to be punished for getting out of the chair instead of asking Juliet or Maximo to message me. You don’t want to add to it. Got it?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“I’ll be back soon.”
I watched him leave before scanning the office. There wasn’t much to it. If it really wasn’t Ash’s office, I hoped whoever used it didn’t return.
At least not until the smell of sex cleared out.
I guess a freak-out wasn’t a waste of this dress…
Ash
“You ready to tell me what happened?” I asked once we were settled in bed in the penthouse later that night.
At my question, Mila tried to wiggle deeper under the blanket. Since a good chunk of my weight was on her, I didn’t know where she thought she was going to go.
“We can start the punishment now,” I offered.
“No, nope, that’s fine.” She was silent again, but it was a different type. A weighty one. After a minute, she inhaled deeply. “When I was little, Veronica had this big shot real estate agent boyfriend. Everyone loved him. Even though it was forever ago, I still remember everyone telling us how lucky we were that he’d come into our lives. That he’d rescued us. They had no clue what a monster he was. He was all about appearances, and everything had to be perfect. But Veronica was a damaged twenty-five-year-old who just wanted attention. And I was a typical five-year-old who made messes. When he…” She took a shaky breath. “When things got bad, I’d hide in the closet. I think that’s why I’m claustrophobic and afraid of the dark now. It’s just wrapped up in those memories.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“I made the mistake of telling my teacher. She reported it, and I had to live with my grandparents for a little while. But Veronica and the guy denied everything, and my nan coached me to say I lied.”
I rolled her onto her back and leaned up so I could see her. “Tell me you’re fucking joking.”
She shook her head. “Nan knew that if they broke up, we’d move back in until Veronica found her next man. To be fair, I don’t think she knew how bad it was. She thought he just yelled a lot, and that it was good for Veronica. So I said I got it confused with a movie I wasn’t supposed to be watching, the investigation was wrapped up, and he dumped her anyway. And she never forgave me for that.”
“What about your father?” I asked.
“Don’t know. Veronica tried to pin me on some guy she was seeing by giving me his last name, but he wouldn’t sign the birth certificate. And then the paternity test came back negative, so it’s one big mystery that I never intend to look into.”
“Christ, sunshine. I don’t understand how you lived through all that and still turned out so perfect.”
She cracked up laughing, but it wasn’t a happy sound. It was harsh and bitter. “I’m not perfect. I just made a scene—again. We have to have a night-light because I’m an adult who is afraid of the dark. I’m clingy and needy, and the calmest I’ve ever felt is when you have me tied up because it’s like?—”
When she cut off abruptly, I pushed. “Like what?”
“Like I can just be,” she admitted before rolling onto her side. “I’m still really sorry about earlier.”
“No need to apologize. Ever.”
“Does that mean there’s also no need for a punishment?”
“No.”
“It was worth a shot.”
I repositioned us and listened as Mila’s breathing quickly grew even. I didn’t fall asleep as easily.
Holding Mila, I thought about all the secrets I kept. The lies I’d told. The blood on my hands.
I couldn’t hide that part of me forever. I just had to hope that when I told Mila, it wasn’t already too late.