Chapter 38 | Preston
THIRTY-EIGHT | PRESTON
These fuzzy fucking feelings pulling at my chest feel foreign in a good way. In a way that makes me want to pick Kate up and carry her back to the seclusion of my room, where I can keep us tucked away in this bubble we’ve created tonight.
There’s a fear deep down that if I expose her to this life, I could lose her as easily as Mom and Tayla. But suffering through a day without her if I let her go sounds just as painful.
The dominant beast inside may want to force her to stay now that I’ve acknowledged my fascination with her is more than that, but she needs to want to stay. After seeing her in that dress tonight with a smile that melts my world, I want her to keep it, even if I’m not the one she shows it to.
Kate deserves everything she wants in life.
Even if it destroys me, I can find a way to live without her, though it may take my whole damn life to pull myself out of love with her. But at least she’d be content. Thriving out there somewhere in the world because I helped her get a piece of herself back in the same way she helped me.
She clasps her hand in mine, threading our fingers, shooting me with a worried smile. “Are you okay?”
I lift our conjoined hands, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. “I will be, darling. I’ve got you now.”
Kate stops, and I drop her hand, my eyes bouncing between hers as she turns to face me. With the way she’s motionless in front of the Ferris wheel that’s behind me, the pink and purple hues bathe her skin. She’s glowing. Breathtaking. Looking like the color in my dark world.
I had the guards leave most of the lights on for us so I could show her a fragment of my soul I keep tucked away behind walls she’s managed to collapse. Replay the worst night of my life, knowing she can’t make a sound decision without having all my pieces at her feet.
They should be turning them off soon, so I take my time memorizing the pink glow casting over her exposed skin in that pink dress she chose because she knew how fucking beautiful she’d look in it. How crazy it would drive me.
Damn, does she look like a dream.
My dream.
Those beautiful lips part, like she wants to say something, but then she swallows. A grin replaces it. “Thank you…for everything tonight. The dress, my collar, the dinner. This,” she breathes. “It’s too much.”
I raise my arm, letting my palm cup her neck. “You deserve nothing less, Kate. I hope you know that.”
The name she let slip on the Ferris wheel is eating a hole in my goddamn brain like a worm in an apple, but I pull her into me, not wasting another minute to claim her lips with mine.
Her arms weave around my neck, her fingers threading into my hair.
Her mouth parts, letting my tongue entangle with hers in a way that has blood flooding to my groin.
Another reason I want to get her back to the estate is to see this dress on my floor.
That’s all I’ve thought about since she walked down the front steps.
Doesn’t matter if she’s walking around in leggings and no makeup, scrubs, or a dress with a slit so high it tests my sanity, she’s stunning.
Her body is flush against me, her touch searing through my suit to soak into my flesh.
I pull back, admiring her swollen lips, my mind briefly flashing with images of what I did to them at dinner. “Ready to go home?”
Home.
The estate hasn’t felt like that in a long time, and damn does it feel good to say that.
“Yes.” Kate may be in heels, but she still lifts to her toes to press a kiss to my cheek, her lips arching up into a smile against my skin, like she enjoys hearing that too. “But since we’re here, can I go get some things from my locker and get my last paycheck?”
I groan, my chest pulling tight at the thought. But there’s a place I need to visit first anyway, and it’s better if she isn’t there. “Fine, but make it quick and meet me in the interrogation room in the tunnels. I know you know how to get down there now.”
She smirks, making my own mouth tilt. “That I do, Captain. And from what I remember, you said you’d reward me. You think I’d miss that?”
I should toss her over my shoulder right now and make good on my promise, but I don’t. Instead, I slap her ass playfully, watching as she takes off in the direction of the mine ride, and I head off in the other direction to the next closest secret entrance to the tunnels.
It's midnight. The amusement park is nearly vacant, except for the few security guards on duty. So, I don’t pass a soul as I enter one of the restrooms, use my master key, and walk into the cleaning closet, opening the secret doorway to the tunnels.
My entire way to the tech room to see Brody, Kate’s ex’s name digs deeper until I’m bursting through the door with my fists clenched at my sides.
The anger is radiating off me in waves. They are big enough to knock Brody off his chair with the way he scrambles to attention when I enter the room. He quickly scurries to get his legs off the desk and puts them back on the floor where they belong.
He releases a sharp breath, his hands flying to his chest. “Fuck, you scared me!”
“Alexander Brighton,” my deadly tone echoes through the room, not wasting any time. “I need you to look that up now.”
Some of my other men, who Brody oversees, look at me inquisitively before returning to their work, their postures stiffer now that I’m in the room. There’s something satisfying about carrying the kind of authority that can nearly break a man’s back when you’re in proximity.
Brody smugly crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back in the chair. The faint squeak from the hinges has the hairs on the back of my arms standing on end. “I’m going to need a little more information than that.”
“That’s Kate’s ex,” I clarify.
I want to punch him for the way his mouth lifts with a knowing grin. “You’re gone for her, aren’t you?”
I am.
Completely.
My eyes roll as I knit my arms over my sternum, trying to ignore the tight pull that’s making me anxious. I just want to find this fucker and rid her life of him. Entirely.
“Shut up,” I growl.
I may have to wait to destroy the bastard who ruined my life, but it doesn’t mean I have to wait to kill the man who’s tormenting her.
He clears his throat, typing away rapidly to match the pulse in my neck. “Arden hasn’t come after my balls yet. I assume that’s your doing?”
My eyes drift downward regarding him. I was the one lying to Arden. Brody kept his mouth shut about the reason Kate was here to save my ass while I watched her to see if she was involved with the Calco Cartel; it was only fair I saved his.
My father and I are slowly getting back to normal. We’ve always been close, and I hate that this has thrust an awkward space between us. He was shocked to see that I had brought him a bottle of his favorite Scotch a few nights ago—a fifteen-thousand-dollar bottle.
My visit was double-sided, though.
One, to apologize for lying and to tell him I forgive him.
Arden may have held a gun to my head, but I was the reason it was there.
Doesn’t make it any better, but I had to own up to my actions, and in return, he owned up to his.
The only time I’ve seen my father cry is at Tayla's and my mom’s funerals, but as I sat in front of him in that office, he broke.
His remorse was eating him alive. When he put the pieces together about Kate being at the estate, he was consumed by grief and overtaken by the demons whispering in his ear that Kate was working for the man who ripped my mother from him. His baby girl.
We just existed together for a while, like we have so many times when we’re lost in that place inside our heads that seems impossible to escape.
He’s all I have.
The man who taught me to perfect a shot with a handgun before I was in high school. The man who watched me gut a man with pride in his eyes instead of fear when I was sixteen. A father I look up to, knowing there’s no line between choosing the mob and your family.
If he could love my mother, Tayla, and me endlessly through all the bloodshed strung through our world, there’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to do the same.
The thought of having a family may terrify me, but imagining my future with Kate gives me something to live for.
Something to fight for. One look at her was all it took for me to understand that a violent life can dance with a beautiful one.
The second reason for my visit with my father that night was to defend Brody. I was the one who asked him to lie for me, and the thought of him suffering at Arden’s hand because of me had my gut spinning with guilt.
Clapping a hand on his back, I nod. “You did what I asked you to. Arden’s wrath was mine to deal with. I owed you one.”
He peeks over his shoulder, giving me an arrogant grin. “Damn. Was that an apology?”
I remove my hand from his shoulder, tucking it into the pocket of my suit. “Burn it into your memory. It won't be happening again.”
His typing fills the space as he pulls up a string of code. “Any other details that might help me narrow the search for this guy?”
My head tilts. “He was a part of her life back in Oregon. She said he was a phlebotomist.”
“Interest—” Brody’s eyes expand. His fingers stay glued to the keyboard as his eyes take in the screen.
My eyes narrow on his still stature. “What?”
“That name is in our system.”
“Well, yeah. I asked you to find him. It should be—”
“No, boss.” Brody swallows, shaking his head. “I mean, our system… Like the Lachlan Park employee database.”
I freeze, my sudden stiff posture forcing all the blood to my ears. “You better be goddamn fucking with me.”
His hoarse voice is a dagger in my chest. “I’m not. Unless it’s a coincidence and the new Lachlan Park security guard we hired a few weeks ago happens to share the same name.”
That word is another blade to my sternum.
Coincidence.
His fingers fly across the keyboard as the blood rushing to my head starts to flood behind my eyes. The second a resume with a headshot fills the screen, the recognition is a metal rod to the backs of my knees.
I should’ve put two and two together when Kate finally let his name slip tonight. But I was too distracted.
The black-and-white image on the monitor confines me to my spot.
I’d know those eyes anywhere.
The last time I saw them, they were framed by a smearing of blood as they watched the life slip from Rowan’s.
Alexander Brighton doesn’t only go by Xander, he also goes by Lex.