Chapter 12 #2
“Good,” Fanny continued, unfazed by reality. “I’ll make you a deal. We come to a satisfactory arrangement today, and I’ll let you leave and go about your day. Though you won’t be able to leave town no matter what. You just have to accept that.”
“And why is it that we can’t leave town?” Layla asked.
“You just can’t. Magnum needs you here.”
“So Uncle Magnum made it so we can’t leave town? But how?”
“Oh, I see. You still haven’t gotten even the basics. Magnum Chase isn’t from this world any more than you are. He can do things you would only dream of.”
“So then what’s he need us for?” Layla asked.
Fanny’s smile tightened in place. “Because for as magnificent as he is, he isn’t immortal. And you are.”
My mouth dropped—part performance, part shock that she was telling us this out in the open. If she was being this transparent, that didn’t bode well for us.
“I see you’re surprised, of course you are. Magnum is brilliant. You’d have no memory of your powers or where you come from.”
“Where do we come from?” Hunt asked.
Please, please tell us.
“Where do you think?” she said.
“Um, Ridgemore?” Layla said.
Fanny had a good laugh at our expense.
“You’re from another world. So is Magnum.”
My mouth fell open again before I whispered a strangled, “Say what, now?”
Another chuckle from Fanny; I wanted to reach into her throat and rip out her vocal cords.
“Do you really think you’d be immortal and from here? From Earth? Where humans are so puny?”
“We didn’t think we were immortal at all,” Griffin said. “Why do you think that?”
“Oh, because we’ve killed you three hundred sixty-nine times so far.”
My eyes bulged. My knees weakened for a few stunned moments.
Not even Layla had a ready quip for that fun fact.
“You always come back to life,” Fanny said with a grimace that suggested she wasn’t nearly as pleased by that little detail as I wanted her to be.
Us alive was a very good thing.
I stepped out from behind Griffin. Immediately his arm shot out to hold on to me. I leaned into his grip so he wouldn’t fear for my safety any more than necessary.
“You say ‘humans’ like we maybe … aren’t human?”
Had I ever asked such an outrageously unbelievable question in my entire life, over however many reboots? I doubted it.
“Of course you’re not. How could you be?”
“Right,” Layla said in a deadpan. “How could we be?” She blinked as if in a daze.
I was in one too. There had to be a reason for our immortality that I’d known. But surely we were human …
Fanny seemed to lose herself to her own thoughts for several moments.
So I pressed, “Uh, if we’re not human, then what the ever-loving fuck do you think we are?”
Fanny tsked in annoyance, whipping up a hand that silently said, Stop. At least it wasn’t her gun hand.
“Stand down,” she said, but not to us. “I’ve got it under control.”
The chip in her head.
“I said, I’ve got it, Todd. Now be silent until I say otherwise.”
Her stare narrowed back on me. Greed, or perhaps disapproval, swam in it once more.
“Joss Bryson.” She chuckled, probably at her inside joke that my family name was invented along with the rest of my supposed past. “Just because you look human doesn’t mean you are human.
Or at least, not entirely human. In some ways, you’re as human as any Joe Schmo.
In other ways, you’re so much more extraordinary.
You aren’t just human. Appearances can be deceiving. ”
Layla grumbled only for us.
“Fanny,” Hunt said, his tone level, serious.
It was his let’s get down to business and get answers tone.
“Please, we’re understandably confused. Give it to us straight.
If you’re certain we aren’t fully human, please, what are we, then?
And where do we come from if not from Ridgemore?
Also, what is Uncle Magnum, and where’s he from? ”
Fanny uncrossed her arms, dropping the gun back to her side. Sunlight glinted across its shiny metal.
“That’s where our little deal comes in. You want me to give you answers that explain your existence?” She spread both arms like a showman, the gun pointing off to the side for moments. “I can do that for you. I have those answers.”
“And in exchange?” Hunt asked.
“Besides letting you go today? You want me to be even more generous?” She tutted. “Of course you do. You always want more.”
Layla commented privately.
“Fine,” Fanny went on. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know about yourselves and I’ll let you live today—”
“So generous of you, indeed,” Layla grumbled. My girl really couldn’t help herself.
Fanny glowered at her. “All you have to do is tell me how you transfer your immortality to someone else.”
It took me a second to register that she was talking only to me right now.
“And how you steal powers from others.”
“Oh, is that all?” Layla quipped.
Fanny whirled toward her. “Shut it, young lady. Or I’ll be very happy to make you.” She tapped her gun against her thigh a few times.
Layla, wisely, for once shut the fuck up.
“You’re talking to me?” I asked, despite the obvious signs.
Fanny’s brows arched in a pained, Why am I stuck dealing with dimwits? “Yes, you. Of course I’m talking to you. You’re the one who gave the others immortality. If you can do it for them, you can do it for Magnum.”
“I-I can’t,” I said, without pausing to think. “What you’re suggesting’s absurd.”
“Are you saying you won’t cooperate? You don’t want the deal I’m offering you? I assure you, it’s a good one.”
Layla said, at least only for us this time.
“How can I tell you what I don’t know? I didn’t give”—I laughed nervously—“immortality to anyone. And I certainly didn’t take powers from anyone else, either. I-I … I mean, that’s not possible.”
Fanny studied me for long beats, during which my heartbeat thundered.
Eventually, on a heavy sigh, she said, “That’s one thing you’ll never have that Magnum does.
He doesn’t allow believing something is impossible to stop him.
He decides on a result and then moves entire worlds to achieve it.
That’s why he’ll always win over you, every time.
You have never stood a chance against him.
No matter how many times we do this, he’ll always come out on top. ”
I had no idea what to say to that.
“Fanny, be reasonable,” Hunt said. “How can we provide you with information we don’t have? That Joss doesn’t have?”
“Because you know it. Even if it’s somewhere deep inside you, you must know it. Your kind simply aren’t this stupid.”
“Our … kind?” Griffin repeated.
Fanny smiled, sadly now. “Yes, your kind. Not all the way human, remember?” She tsked again. “How am I expected to do anything with this level of idiocy? Really?”
“If you share what you know,” Hunt countered, “maybe then we’ll understand. And once we do, we can give you the answers you want.”
“We’ve tried that before. You don’t remember, but we have, many times. You always hold back on me in the end. You cheat. No, it’s time to change the dynamic. This clearly isn’t working. We’ve made it too easy for you. Too nice. Too many comforts.”
She scowled and spoke to the chip in her head, “Shut up, Todd. I told you to leave me alone, so obey.”
When her attention landed back on us, something indeed had changed, and I didn’t like it one bit. Her face was … blank, as if the woman felt absolutely nothing at all.
“Todd, stay out of this. We’ll tranq them in a second. They won’t remember anything I’m saying. I have an idea.”
Her features grew animated just to hiss at him, “If you utter a single other word, I’ll rip your dick off—from the inside—drag it up through your intestines to your throat, and make you choke on it. You hear me?”
My friends and I exchanged wide-eyed looks. Griffin guided me behind him once more. Hunt resumed his stance in front of Layla. And Brady cracked his neck to either side, preparing for a fight.
One we had little chance of winning.
But hey, we still had our notes, right? It wasn’t a total loss. We’d learned new material, however difficult it was to wrap our minds around at present.
Todd, apparently, recognized a psycho when he heard one and opted to remain completely silent.
Fanny brought the gun up in front of her, patted it on one of her palms. Then, as if arriving at a decision, she muttered under her breath, “Screw it.”
In whip-fast movements, she flung her empty hand at the Escalades behind her. Some sort of shimmering shield rose around them … completely blocking them from sight.
I gasped. Next, with the speed of a lifelong soldier, she disassembled her gun with a series of fast clicks and slides, flinging all the separate parts, including the loaded magazine, in separate directions. They sailed into the woods at inhuman velocity, reaching no doubt inhuman distances.
Another gasp slipped from my lips, joined by sounds of my friends’ surprise.
Then, oh then … fucking then, Fanny gripped either side of her head—and motherfucking tugged.
Her scalp … split open …
“Oh fuck,” I breathed while my legs wobbled. My insides churned in utter, stark disbelief.
Fanny yanked the skin of her head and face down to pool around her neck, as if it were a fucking snood, as if her face were nothing more complex than a mask discarded.
A harsh exhale escaped Griffin. I melted against his back as I spied over his shoulder.
Beneath the mask … Fuck me, beneath the mask … was something without a single doubt not human.
She was a pasty, grayish, uh, creature with shiny skin and more teeth than a freaking prehistoric shark.
They spread to occupy the space where her nose, mouth, and chin were on her “Fanny” face.
A tongue, long as a giraffe’s but pointy, slithered out.
Above her mouth were two eyes that reminded me again of a shark’s, mostly for their unfeeling look.
With a bone-chilling creak, she unhinged her jaw like a snake’s and stretched her maw until that’s all her head was.
Even her eyes disappeared somewhere behind it, and terrifying, sharp teeth was all there was to see.
A goopy, gray slime slid down to gather at the base of her teeth, along what perhaps passed for gums.
As if the sight weren’t paralyzing enough, she screeched. It was the sound I imagined a fox made when being slaughtered.
“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck,” Layla was back to chanting without end.
The five of us huddled together. I trembled.
Monster-Fanny sprinted forward on her Birks with a flourish of flowered fabric.
“Run!” Brady shouted. “Fucking run!”
We pivoted and bolted, as agile as deer bounding away from the predator who had them pinned in its hungry sights.
We put hundreds of feet between us and her—it—before I realized my mistake. Before it hit me like a big-rig truck going twenty over the speed limit.
“Bobo,” I said on a panicked wheeze as I whirled around while Hunt and Griffin zipped past.
Brady and Layla sailed by.
I sprinted in the opposite direction.
My sweet boy was hunched over his strong haunches, his muscles coiled for attack.
He was covering our retreat.
I hadn’t ordered him to run, dammit, and I should have. He always obeyed my commands.
I ran faster than I ever had before.
And still I could already tell I’d be too slow.
Griffin shouted my name. So did the others.
Their footfalls pounded after me.
I stumbled and lunged forward, doing what I could to eat up the distance that separated me from my dog.
I had to watch as Bobo launched himself at Fanny.
She backhanded him across the head so hard that he flew against Clyde, slammed hard against steel, and slumped to the ground without so much as a pained whimper.
As I screamed at her to stop, Monster-Fanny spun toward him, grabbed for Bobo with normal-woman hands, and tossed him up into the air as if he didn’t weigh sixty pounds.
Her head was all nasty teeth and nastier tongue.
Bobo slid through her teeth as if through a welcoming tunnel.
They snapped shut behind him.
The cunt swallowed my dog whole.