11. The Gift Of A Lifetime
Chapter eleven
The Gift Of A Lifetime
Edward
Two days later…
I hadn’t heard from Shirley in years. The phone call I received last night was out of the blue.
When I first heard her voice, I thought it was to meet up for drinks or a quick lunch.
Worst case scenario, she would ask me for money.
But her tone was serious on the phone, enough to set my teeth on edge.
Something is wrong.
Those words keep repeating themselves in my head, willing me to get out of here before she shows up. I could call her back and say today isn’t a good day, and then never call her back.
But I’m not that kind of person. If she needs help, what does it say about me if I walk away?
“There you are.”
Crap, too late.
Shirley saunters up to me with a smile on her face, the exact opposite of how she sounded on the phone. In fact, she looks relieved to see me. I try not to feed into her energy; I don’t want to get my hopes up.
“Long time no see! What brings you to this side of town?”
“Seeing you, of course.”
“It sounded like you had something important to tell me on the phone. Is everything okay?”
Her smile fades a little.
“With me? Sure. But we can’t talk here.”
Uh oh, that’s never a good sign.
Without asking any more questions, I follow her lead a few feet down the block until she makes a sudden left into... a toy store? Why the heck does she want to talk in here?
“Shirley, whatever this is about, couldn’t you have told me over the phone...?”
I round a tall set of shelves and see Shirley standing there, with a little boy by her side. He’s holding onto her hand. He can’t be any older than four.
“Edward, this is your son, Alexander.”
“My what now?!”
I’m louder than intended and most of the people in the store turn around to stare. Shirley grabs me by the hand and leads me further away from the other customers.
“Okay, not as bad as I thought you’d react, but still...”
“What do you mean ‘not as bad’?”
“I honestly thought you were going to run out of here when you saw me.”
I drag my hands down my face, reminding myself that I’m not the kind of person who walks away from problems.
“This is still something you could have told me on the phone. To prepare me at least.”
“If I did, would you have shown up here?”
“We’ll never find out, will we? What is it, Shirl? I can pay you child support, you know I’m good for it. Free healthcare and doctors’ visits, I can do that too. Just tell me what you want.”
“Alex, can you go pick out a few things you want to add to your bedroom? My treat.”
The little boy runs off without a care, disappearing around the corner and deeper into the store.
I can feel the walls closing in on me.
“I... can’t take care of him anymore.” Fear quickly fills her eyes once Alexander is out of sight.
“I’m barely scraping by, I can’t give him the attention and the love that he needs. I’m slowly turning into my mother.”
Shirley’s mother had been abusive throughout her childhood, making Shirley feel as if there was never anything she could do right. Her mom would lose patience with her every other minute of the day. The beatings only started once Shirley was old enough to start talking back.
“You haven’t...?” My voice trembles.
“No, never! I would never put him through that... but I’m afraid that I might one day. And I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if I did.”
“Shirley... Come here.” I pull her into a hug and she seems to deflate against me.
“I could have been helping you out this whole time. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What? A doctor having a child with a rehab patient? You wouldn’t have the time to raise a newborn all by yourself.
Thankfully, a few of the women in my group helped me out, gave me advice when I needed it.
But they’re gone now, and my group is filled with faces I don’t recognize. Faces I don’t trust.”
“So, then, what do you want from me?”
“I want you to take him. Permanently.”
I have to grab onto a shelf to stop myself from falling. This is not something I’d ever expect to hear before the end of the day, much less my entire life.
“I have all the paperwork filled out with the details, they’re just not signed yet. Not until I talked to you first.”
I slide down the wall to the floor and focus on steadying my breathing. Two minutes ago, I learned I had a son. Now, I have to take on the full responsibility of his care.
“I know, I’m sorry.” Shirley takes a seat beside me on the ground, just close enough to provide me with company but still giving me my space.
“You don’t have to answer today. But I want you to consider what would be in his best interests. He doesn’t need a rehab mom who could fall off the wagon any second.”
“You could move in with me. We could raise him together.”
“Be honest, Ed. Would you really trust me to keep this up, knowing how many times I’ve failed drug rehab? I don’t even trust myself to be with him most days. That’s not what you want for him and it’s not what he deserves.”
She’s right. Working in the maternity ward has shown me a lot of things.
Babies with fetal alcohol syndrome. Mothers who didn’t have access to prenatal vitamins.
Absent dads. Mothers who skipped out as soon as the nurses took their babies away to be checked on.
None of those children deserved to be treated like that, just for being born.
And Shirley knows this. She knows that I can’t just walk away from the plight of a child. Doubly so because he’s mine.
“I don’t want you to make a decision that you’re going to regret, Shirley. What if you change your mind later on? What’s that going to do to him?”
“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I don’t want to abandon him completely. I can still come visit if that’s okay with you. But I really need to work on myself and make sure that I’m the mother he needs in his life.”
That’s an admirable venture. I’m glad that she’s mature enough to recognize that she might need help.
“Okay... okay, I’ll do it.”
“Oh, Ed, thank you. Thank you so much!”
She throws her arms around my neck and hugs me tight. I can hear her sniffling and embrace her to offer her some comfort.
“Mommy, I found something.”
“What is it, sweetie?” Shirley quickly wipes away a tear as we both investigate what toys our son has picked out for himself.
“Wow. You. With a son. That’s definitely news.” Stanley exhales, his hands on his hips.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t exactly keep him here at work, and he’s about to start kindergarten. How am I going to find the time?”
“Make time,” Drake replies from his seat by the coffee machine, a large newspaper draped over his face. Is he having a hangover?
“You say that like it’s so easy.”
“It’s raising a child. It’s not supposed to be easy. There’s always daycare, you know.”
“Sure. Because leaving him there for ten hours is going to do great things for his mental development.”
“Ed, would you just calm down a sec?” Drake pulls the paper off his face and tosses it onto the table. “If you’re really that concerned, have someone take care of him at home.”
“What do you mean?”
“You pay someone to take care of your kid all day. A live-in nanny.”
“I...” I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of that before. “Drake, I could kiss you.”
“Please don’t.”
“But where do I go about looking for that sort of thing?”
I hardly think they have personal ads for those kinds of services. And who knows what kind of results I’d get on the internet.
“The answer might be closer than you think. You remember Maria Bailey?”
“Drake...”
“No, I’ve given up on that.” He clears his throat. “But I did overhear that she used to work for Chelsea Fisher as her live-in nanny. For that little girl of hers. Grace, I think her name is.”
“Hm. That’s honestly not a bad idea. I’ll have to contact her and ask if that’s okay. She did just have her twins and is probably going to need even more help than before.”
“Did you see the three guys she came in with?” Stanley asks as he tosses the rest of his late afternoon coffee into the sink. “I think she has more than enough help.”
Don’t even get me started on the paperwork I got from them about the birth certificates. It definitely made the gears turn in my head.
“If she says no, then that’s fine. I can always look somewhere else. But at least this is a start. Thanks, Drake.”
“No problem.”
“At least your infatuation is finally paying off.”
Drake stares at me with a scowl and gives me the middle finger.
“Screw you.”