21. Overstimulation
Chapter twenty-one
Overstimulation
Maria
Three days later…
I’ve been sitting here in Edward’s dimly lit apartment for the better part of two hours, waiting for his friends to show up. Agreeing to the idea of a foursome seemed exciting at the time; now that it’s happening, I’m terrified.
I take another sip of red wine to try and calm my nerves.
Edward managed to convince Alex’s mother to take him for just the night, citing that Alex should still spend time with his mother even if she no longer wants parental rights. It’s a good, wholesome excuse that he’s using to his advantage.
I jump out of my skin when I hear the door unlock. I place the glass down and smooth out the front of my shirt for some reason.
“I... didn’t expect you to wait on the couch the whole time.” He looks at me suspiciously as he places his things down on the floor near the door.
“What else was I supposed to do?” I squeak. I clear my throat to loosen some of the nerves. “Alexander’s not here and that leaves me with very little to do.”
A smile spreads across his face as he undoes his tie and tosses it onto the counter.
“Oh, we’re going to give you plenty to do this evening.”
Just as he’s about to sit next to me and steal my wine glass, the doorbell rings, interrupting his attempt to be smooth and coy.
My heart stamps against my ribs, trying to get out.
I feel cold from head to toe, and then hot again.
My fingers dig into the fabric of the couch as if I’ll fall off at any moment.
I see smiling faces and see their lips move, but I hear nothing of their conversation. I’m so wrapped up in my own thoughts and fear that my body is physically walling me off from my surroundings.
“Maria...?”
I snap back to reality when Stanley waves a hand in front of my face.
“You’ve been staring at nothing for a while now. Are you okay?”
“S-sorry. Too much wine, maybe.” I chuckle weakly under my breath, tighten my grip on my glass, and head to the kitchen to pour the rest down the sink while the guys continue their conversation.
It’s shocking that Edward even proposed such a thing at first; it became downright inconceivable when Drake and Stanley agreed to it. It was a mixed blessing, knowing where they stood on such things, but now I’m in the middle of it and I have no idea what I’m doing.
“Hey...” Edward whispers against my neck and I almost scream. He recoils, confusion written on his face.
“A little uppity there, don’t you think?”
“All this waiting around has left me... antsy. Maybe we should skip the chatter and get on with it?”
Maybe it’s like a rollercoaster. It’s fun once you get on and let the adrenaline kick in.
“Oh. That eager, are you?”
“No, I just... it’s awkward standing around talking like we’re not about to do what we’re going to do.”
“Maria, you don’t have to be afraid to say the words.
We’re having a foursome. Group sex. You can say it, the words won’t bite,” Drake teases, though he looks just as awkward as I feel.
I still haven’t spoken to him since he tried to kiss me and said those awful things to me.
Which means I don’t know where I stand with him.
Is now a bad time to ask for an apology?
Would that make him want to turn tail and leave?
“You keep up that attitude, Drake, and she might even let you in,” Stanley teases, his eyebrows wiggling. “She’s got the reins on this, remember?”
Do I? If I had the gumption, I’d bolt out of here right now.
But, of course, there’s always work tomorrow, and it would be awkward to explain to Edward why I chickened out at the last second.
“Where would, uh, where should we do this?” I look around the apartment, wondering if the couch would give us the room to try out... anything. Edward’s bedroom crosses my mind but I’m not sure how weird that would be.
“My bed’s fine. It’s a king-size, remember?”
So not weird at all. Okay, then.
I take the initiative and lead the way, mostly so that they don’t have to see the look on my face. My stomach churns something awful and I’m starting to regret those few sips of red wine.
I pause in front of Edward’s bed for a second before I kick off my shoes and crawl onto the bed, all the way up to the headboard.
Everything is spinning around me as I watch the three men enter behind me, each in a different state of undress.
Drake seems to be hesitating the most, waiting for the others to get in before he does.
Edward plops himself beside me and leans in to kiss my neck. His breath is warm and temporarily steals my fear. I exhale slowly: I can do this. How bad could this be?
The bed shifts to the other side of me, and I feel Stanley’s hand caressing my shoulder. His fingers tease at the fabric of my sleeve to expose my bra strap. He snaps it lightly against my skin before slipping it further down my shoulder.
Drake sits at the foot of the bed, just starting to undo his tie. Our eyes meet for a split second before our gazes break.
“Any special requests?” Edward mumbles against my skin, his nose nudging my earlobe. “Whatever you want, we’re at your beck and call.”
More hands slip up my shirt and caress my heated skin, fingertips teasing at the creases under my breasts. Delight dances up and down my spine, my eyes flutter closed and, for a split second, I’m convinced that everything will be fine.
Then the bed shifts near my feet and I open my eyes to see Drake crawling slowly towards me, his hands on either side of my calves. There’s intent in his eyes. His unsatisfied desire.
He stops just above my hips and presses his hand to the front of my jeans. Just like last time. There’s a moment of recognition in his eyes, that deja vu moment. We’ve been here before.
Will it end differently? he silently asks me with his eyes. I swallow hard against the lump in my throat and my eyes shift to his hand. His fingers are large and strong; my folds pulse with yearning, imagining them inside me.
Stanley and Edward’s hands have finally found my breasts, the bra nudged aside to give them access. Expert fingers tease at my nipples, gently flicking and pinching the hard flesh until they’re erect.
As Edward leans in to kiss me, he undoes my bra with one hand and tugs the undergarment free from under my shirt.
The fabric shifts up and I squeal into Edward’s mouth when I feel hot wet lips capturing my nipple, a curled tongue bathing and lavishing it with attention. Everything inside me feels like it’s on fire and part of me doesn’t want it to stop.
Just above soft keening in my ear, I heard the sound of my zipper being undone.
My thighs clench together at first, to save myself some modesty.
But then I remind myself where I am and allow the moment to continue.
All it takes is just a tug to free enough of my hips for him to access my underwear, which already feels soaked from all this foreplay. All five minutes of it.
Drake thumbs between my folds and my hips buck up against it, grinding my sensitive nub against his flesh for further friction. Unknowingly, the action slips two of his fingers inside me, sending arced lightning throughout my body.
Too much. This is too much. I don’t think my body can take much more of this.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” I pull away from Edward’s kiss and clench my thighs around Drake’s wrist before he draws inspiration from my instinctual act. Stanley immediately stops what he’s doing (despite everything in my body wishing he wouldn’t).
“I... I can’t. I’m...” I find it hard to catch my breath, my face awash with waves of heat over and over again, hotter than the last.
“I don’t think I can do this.”
Each man recoils with his hands up, surprise written on all their faces. None of them want to be the one to make a wrong move.
“That’s... that’s fine.” Edward is the first to speak and shifts from the bed to a nearby chair. “Did we do something to...?”
I shake my head vehemently.
“No, no, you were all wonderful. It’s just too much to take in right now. I’m sorry. The sensory overload...”
Stanley takes my hand and kisses the back of it. Then he wraps his arms around me and hugs me from behind.
“Never apologize. You’re not the first person who thought this was right for them and then changed their mind. It’s a lot to get used to.”
I don’t know why I feel like I want to cry. To hear words of affection and caring, knowing that my concerns are not falling on deaf ears... It feels like forever since I felt that way.
Benjamin...
“Hey, hey, hey...” Drake slides up to me and thumbs the moisture that suddenly appears on my cheek. I recoil a little at first, remembering that night he screamed in my face. His expression this time is much softer. He looks more like himself again.
“Would you feel better if we left? Gave you some space to breathe?”
I nod. My throat’s too constricted with emotion to get the words out. Edward kisses the top of my head, Stanley gives me another hug, and Drake squeezes my hand before they leave, gathering up their scattered clothes and closing the door behind them.
It's all over so quickly. The room is cold now. All I feel is empty.
I untangle my bra from the space between the mattress and the headboard and drag myself out of bed to the bathroom. My reflection is a right mess.
Sad. Pathetic.
I throw cold water onto my face to eliminate any more of those thoughts, relishing in the chill of it. It shakes the cobwebs of lust out of my mind and brings me back to the present.
What the hell do I do now?
Surprisingly, I don’t have to worry about any of that because the rest of the evening continues as normal.
As if we hadn’t been this close to stripping each other naked a few minutes ago.
Someone puts on a comedy movie and breaks out some snacks from the fridge.
Each man gives me a comforting touch one way or another but lets me have my space.
They don’t want to make this weird. They don’t want to put me on the spot with questions.
And I’m happy with that. I need some time alone to think things over and question whether this is really what I want.
The next day…
“Miss Bailey?” Alexander tugs on my sleeve, staring at me with concern. “Are you okay?”
“Hm? Oh, yes. I’m... I got distracted,” I chuckle under my breath. “Maybe I need a snack.”
“If you want, you can share some of mine.” He reaches his little fist into the bag of fish-shaped crackers and offers his crumb-covered digits to me. I hold out my hands and he dumps the lot into my palms.
“Thank you very much, Alexander. That’s very kind of you.”
I figure a day at the park would be exactly what I need to clear my head and sort out what I want.
I couldn’t sleep after last night’s fiasco and I don’t think I was able to meet Edward’s gaze when I came to pick up Alexander.
I was afraid that I would see resentment in his eyes.
That he would hate me for ruining what could have been a fun night for him and his friends.
No doubt Drake hates me even more now.
Yet, the look on his face last night wasn’t furrowed with ire. It was soft. Apologetic? Or I could be reading too much into it because of the moment.
I pop one of the cheesy crackers into my mouth, mulling over what I’m going to do next. How can I pretend like everything can go back to normal, though? Knowing that he and his friends used to have group sex together...
... is this the kind of arrangement Chelsea has...?
My face flushes hot at the thought, especially after knowing the firefighters for years. How she manages to make that work is beyond me.
I contemplate giving her a call but ultimately decide against it. I need more time to think.
I need to remember what a normal relationship is like again before I consider diving headfirst into something I may not be ready for.
Oliver’s face pops up in my mind.
When was the last time I talked to him? It’s been months since the funeral and I know he doesn’t live in the city... But we’d had such a good time together, I was sure we would have stayed in touch more often. Maybe it’s time to rectify that.
Alexander runs over to the swings as I scroll through my list of contact numbers.