Chapter 40
Angus
The first show at Madison Square Garden is the most amazing performance I’ve ever experienced. Both nights are sold out and we were riding on a high after last night’s show, but tonight I’m feeling a touch of anxiety.
There’s a lot of chaos around us.
Alden and Alex are both here, along with a lot of industry professionals.
Kirsten is going to perform with us again, and then do part of the set with Nobody’s Fool.
The press is everywhere, and this is going to be the first time there’s a chance for my biological father and me to be photographed together. He said he’s fine with it and I guess I am too. I just don’t want that to be the focus.
Alden still wants to meet Lexi, which is kind of funny, all things considered.
Tonight is supposed to be about the band. The music. The fact that our album is platinum and still selling. “Rough Around the Edges” is still number one on all the digital platforms and “Living on the Edge” is climbing. I don’t want my family drama to detract from that, but when I brought it up, the guys said they don’t care. Alex is my father, and if I want him here, they want him here.
As far as things with Alex, the situation is ongoing, with us trying to find a new normal, but I don’t know if that will ever happen. August has finally given up on me joining the family business, so he’s begun to work on Abe. Abe doesn’t seem invested in it, but he’s not resisting either. Alden has distanced himself from the family and Annette isn’t speaking to me, but I’m not worried about it.
I don’t think anything will ever be like it used to be in the family, which is probably a good thing, even if my mother is fit to be tied.
She’s not my problem, though.
All I care about right now is Ryleigh.
I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to win her back.
I’ll even walk away from Crimson Edge if that’s what she needs from me.
I don’t want to, but the last couple of months has proven that I need her.
Life feels empty without her. No number of groupies or platinum records compensate for not having her in my life.
They can find another drummer; I can’t find another Ryleigh.
“Time to rock and roll, boys,” Jonny says, rubbing his hands together when Jimbo motions that it’s almost time.
I roll my neck, stretching a little, and wait for the signal.
I’m just about to run on stage when I see her.
Long red hair falling over her shoulders.
Big green eyes staring at me intently.
Kirsten holding her hand.
I freeze.
I have to go but…she’s here .
There are people everywhere, music blasting from the loudspeakers, and Alex and Alden just a few feet away—but Ryleigh is all I care about.
I turn and run toward her, motioning to Bobby that I need a minute.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, wrapping an arm around her waist.
She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t want to see me, and I’ll be damned if I don’t touch her.
“We need to talk,” she says quietly.
“Timing kinda sucks,” I say, glancing over to where Bobby’s tapping his wrist impatiently.
“Flight was delayed and then there was traffic. I was supposed to be here hours ago.”
“I have to go,” I say hesitantly. “Promise you won’t leave?”
“I didn’t come all this way to leave before we can talk.” Her eyes burn into mine. “Go. I’ll be right here.”
It’s probably presumptuous but I press my lips to hers.
Just a quick peck.
A promise.
And then I’m running on stage, grabbing my sticks, and waiting for the flow of water. I pound on the bass drums, let the water wash over me, and then go right into the opening number.
My body knows what to do but my mind is spinning out of control.
She’s here.
Kirsten must have brought her because she looked pretty smug.
I’m dying to know what happened or what was said, but it doesn’t matter. The fact that she’s here is enough.
And if tonight is my last show with Crimson Edge, then I’d better make it a memorable one.
* * *
As promised, she’s waiting when I come off stage and I grab a towel, a bottle of water and her hand without stopping, ignoring friends and family as I pull her down a hallway that leads to the dressing rooms. We’re not going in those, though, because we can’t be alone.
“Where are we going?” she asks as I continue pulling her down the hall.
“Here.” We’re outside now, where the semis and buses park, and it’s relatively quiet since no one is actively loading or unloading at the moment.
I stop walking and turn, facing her. “Let’s start over... hi.”
She looks up at me, her eyes filled with emotions I can’t identify. “Hi.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Didn’t we already cover this?”
“Yeah, but I need a little more context.”
“I heard a rumor and it seemed important enough to come here.”
“A rumor?” I can’t imagine what she’s talking about.
“About you leaving Crimson Edge.”
I frown. No one knows except Sasha and Casey, and I can’t imagine either of them reached out to Ryleigh. “How could you…”
“Lexi overheard something she shouldn’t have and she made a unilateral decision to bring that information to me.”
Well, this is my shot. It’s not how I planned to have this conversation but since it’s happening anyway, I have no choice but to go for it.
“If it means you’ll come back to me, I’ll walk away.”
She stares at me, and this time I see a lot more emotions: Disbelief, surprise, and…love.
She still loves me.
And now there are tears puddling in her beautiful green eyes.
“You can’t…do…that,” she whispers.
“I can. I will.”
“But… no!” She bursts into tears and my arms close around her, pulling her to my chest.
“I’d give up everything for you,” I whisper against her hair. “Without you, my life is meaningless. As much as I love the band, the music, and everything we’re doing—it doesn’t mean anything unless you’re here to share it with me.”
“I don’t understand,” she sniffs.
“What’s to understand? I’m in love with you.”
She shivers against me, her face still buried tightly against my chest.
“Ryleigh?” I pull away just enough to lift her chin, forcing her to look at me. “Do you still love me?”
“I do.” She blinks through her tears.
“Tell me what it’ll take to make you trust me again.”
“Lexi said you’ve been in therapy.”
I nod. “There’s been a lot to unpack… my upbringing, the fucked-up relationship with my mom and the man I thought was my dad, how to move forward with my uncle, who’s actually my dad, my betrayal of the band—and more recently, what happened between us.”
“You’ve talked to your therapist about…me?” She looks surprised.
“A lot,” I admit. “And if you want to start couples counseling, we can do that.”
“I do,” she says quickly. “I’d like that. I probably have some shit of my own to unpack.”
“I got you a ring,” I say slowly. “Right before everything blew up.”
She looks confused. “A ring? Like, an engagement ring?”
“Yup. I didn’t buy it—it’s the ring my grandmother gave Alex to give to the woman he would eventually marry. He’s decided he’s never going to get married, so he gave it to me to give to you.”
“You were going to propose?”
“I was going to give you a promise ring—because it’s not a diamond and I wasn’t sure whether or not an emerald would be your stone of choice. And work up to the proposal.”
“I love emeralds,” she whispers. “It’s my favorite stone.”
“It reminds me of your eyes.”
We’re quiet for a few beats.
“Tell me what you want from me,” I say finally. “I’ll leave the band, if that’s what it takes, but I need to finish this tour.”
She’s already shaking her head. “No. Stop. Jesus. Crimson Edge—and being a musician—that’s who you are. How could I love you if I asked you to give that up? That’s not how love works. Not to me, anyway. But therapy is mandatory, both individually and together.”’
“I’m already doing it individually, and we can find someone for us to see together. What else?”
“There isn’t anything else,” she says after a moment. “This isn’t a business deal, Angus—this is our life. Our relationship. Our love . It’s not a negotiation. We just have to want to be together, with the promise to have each other’s backs, no matter what. That’s what’s most important to me. That, and being faithful.”
“I swear to you, I will always have your back. And being faithful—I can’t even look at other women. You’re all I see, all I want, all that matters. My dick probably wouldn’t even get hard for someone else.”
“I love you, Angus.”
I crush my mouth to hers.
A moment later someone clears their throat.
“Bro—get a room!”
Alden.
I reluctantly pull away and turn to him. “Kinda busy here, kid.”
He laughs. “Hey, Ryleigh. Nice to see you again.”
“Nice to see you too.” She smiles at him.
“Uncle Dad wants to know what the plan is for the rest of tonight.”
“Uncle Dad?” Ryleigh bites back a laugh.
“That’s what he’s calling him in private,” I say, shaking my head.
“It’s technically right,” Alden replies with a shrug. “Besides, he said he doesn’t care what I call him and that’s what I want to call him.”
“Tell Alex we’re going out. There’s a limo waiting to take us to a late dinner.”
“Okay. Glad you two are back together,” Alden says, looking over his shoulder. “He was miserable without you!”
“You know anything about being discreet?” I yell after him.
“You were miserable, huh?” She looks up at me. “How miserable?”
“Pretty miserable.” I wrap my arms around her waist. “What about you?”
“Beyond miserable.”
We stare at each other for a long time.
“We’re much better together.”
“Agreed.”
“The tour is over until our New Year’s Eve show—will you spend a few days in Manhattan with me?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then we have to talk about moving in together.”
“All right.”
“And you going back to work.”
She pauses. “What does that mean?”
“It means, I don’t want you to work at a restaurant—and before you say something about me not telling you what to do—we both know you were born to be a writer. To write beautiful, poignant, human-interest pieces like the one I read before Rich changed it.”
“And you bought Rock Harder ,” she says carefully.
“Technically, Alex bought it, but you and I are shareholders.”
“What?” She gapes at me.
“It was going to be your engagement present, but I don’t like keeping secrets anymore.”
“Angus!” There are tears in her eyes again. “Are you serious? I’m now part owner of Rock Harder Magazine ?”
“Yup. Which means you can also be managing editor or editor-in-chief or anything else you want to be. Think of Alex and me as investors.”
“I just have one question…”
“Anything.”
“Can I be the one to fire Rich?”
I burst out laughing. “There’s my sassy girl—I missed her so damn much.”
She rests her head against my chest. “I missed you too, Angus.”
“Never leave me again, Ryleigh.”
“Same goes for you.”
I wrap my arms around her and hold on tight.
I’m not going anywhere.
Not now, not ever.