Chapter Seventeen Alina’s POV
Chapter Seventeen
Alina’s POV
What the hell have I done?
That was the first thought on my mind when I got up from my restless sleep before dawn. A heavy sigh left my lips. They still felt sensitive from his kisses, and I traced them with the tip of my finger.
Oh, God!
I yanked my hands off my lips as I thought of how far we’d gone last evening.
How far I’d practically begged him to take me.
I could still feel his hands on my face and all over my body.
My legs pressed together at the memory of moaning his name as his fingers brought me to a shattering orgasm.
I could still hear him growling into my ear about how it was not the right time.
I could still feel the tingles of his kisses on my neck.
The image of his face, of how his eyes darkened with desire as he tantalized my body with his fingers, and how he pulled my hands to his neck was still vivid in my mind’s eye.
What made me groan in mortification was the fact that it was Konstantin. This was a man I’d sworn to hate. A man who took the most important person in my life from me without blinking twice. He was a lord in the world I’d done everything to never be associated with again.
It was supposed to be wrong in every sense.
Emphasis on supposed because, in all truth, it didn’t feel wrong.
Nothing felt wrong when he handed me a weapon instead of asking his men to forcefully haul me into the basement. When he protected me and continually told me to remain behind him, it didn’t feel wrong.
It certainly didn’t feel wrong when he pulled me into that room and kissed me. It felt anything but wrong when he touched me. Hell, I wanted it. It felt…safe.
Safety in the hands of a killer?!
Now, I’m going crazy.
Dragging myself to the center of the wide bed, I threw the covers over myself.
The sound of knocking woke me up after a few hours.
“Come in,” I called, moving to the foot of the bed.
I felt a slight headache as I moved.
Of course, my sleep has been chaotic.
The door opened, and Hans came in, smiling.
“Good morning, ma’am,” he greeted, bringing the tray in his hands to the stool.
“Good morning, Hans,” I replied as he pushed the stool closer to me. “How is everyone?”
“Everyone is well and safe, ma’am,” he answered, lifting a mug of hot chocolate and bringing it towards me. “Boss said to bring this to you.”
The thought of Konstantin sending me a drink I definitely needed warmed me inside as the mug warmed my cool hands.
“How is Greta doing? The house is worse than a mess. Yesterday was chaos,” I uttered after a hearty sip of the sweet drink.
He nodded, chuckling lightly. “The house is still under lockdown. Until tonight, maybe. But we’re all okay. We’ll have the manor like it used to be in a few days.”
“Lockdown? Like, no moving in or out?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he answered. “It’s to make sure the dust settles, I guess.”
I nodded as I placed the mug back in the tray.
“The dining room isn’t fit to be used, yet. So we’re all eating in our rooms,” he explained as I opened the dish on the tray.
“I’m amazed that it was even possible to make something in that kitchen. With the way glass was flying everywhere yesterday,” I disclosed, shaking my head before jerking my chin towards him. “Weren’t you scared?”
“I probably was. I just didn’t have the time to register it,” he answered, shrugging. “Responding to the attack was the next line of action. No thinking or feeling.”
“Right,” I remarked before a realization hit me. “Responding? Did you also join in the shooting? You handle guns?”
His smile crept wider as he explained, “Even as domestic staff, having some basic training is necessary in every Bratva household. I’m not as skilled at marksmanship as the boss’s men, but yes, I shoot pretty well.”
“Oh, wow,” I commented, surprised at what I was hearing. “He said you guys were being moved to safety, so I thought…” I trailed off as another question came to mind. “Greta and the others can shoot, too?”
“Not them, no,” he replied, shaking his head. “Just myself and a few others.”
“Wow.”
“Boss is a mafia boss. Even his men are kings in their different domains.”
“Of course,” I muttered, digging into my food.
“I’ll come back for the plate,” he said.
“You might not need to. I’ll be down soon.”
“Uh, it’s not so easy to move around yet, ma’am. All the heavy stuff is still being moved. You might not find Greta in the kitchen; she’s also going to her room until it’s time for lunch.”
“Oh?”
“I’ll come back for it. It’s not a problem, ma’am.”
As he turned around and walked out of the room, my mind drifted to Konstantin.
Is he also holing up in his bedroom?
Of course not, he’ll be down there with his men.
Does he remember yesterday?
Not wanting to spend a second exploring possible answers to my questions, I brought my mind back to my food.
After eating, I moved the stool to the side of the dresser. I gazed at my reflection in the mirror as I rose back to my full height.
What exactly is wrong with me?
The intimacy that flared between Konstantin and me in the midst of yesterday’s chaos was something I wouldn’t have thought possible a few days ago. But it happened, and I couldn’t bring myself to regret it.
I had discovered my physical attraction towards him recently, and I couldn’t deny that.
I had found that I liked his eyes when they weren’t looking so emotionless.
I knew my body tingled with apprehension whenever he leaned close to me, no matter the reason.
His perfectly sculpted face, which mostly conveyed danger, made me soften inside whenever he spoke to me.
Now, adding the feel of his hard chest against my breasts and his muscular arms beneath my hands, I didn’t want him any less.
But physical attraction wasn’t enough reason for me to jump into someone’s arms—it had never been.
Even when I noted my body’s reaction towards him, I knew I couldn’t act on it because I hated him. He wasn’t someone I wanted to be with.
So, what the hell changed yesterday?
I could say it was the heat of the moment, but that wouldn’t be true because it wasn’t my first time being in the face of danger.
Even the thought of him discarding it as a spur-of-the-moment dalliance made my throat tighten, although I knew that was most likely what he would chalk it up as.
Things like these must happen all the time in the Bratva world.
The answer was staring me in the face: Something had shifted, somewhere along the line.
I just didn’t know what.
**********
“Greta!” I called, hastening my steps as she rushed up the stairs to meet me. I hugged her, and she put her arms around me.
“I’m glad you’re fine, milady,” she said as I released her and we walked down the stairs and into the dining room. “I couldn’t believe it when Hans told me you were with the boss throughout the fight.”
“How are you?”
“Oh, I’m fine. Hans was on direct orders to bring you your food, so I couldn’t come up to check on you yesterday.”
“It’s fine. I’m here now,” I assured her, smiling as I looked around.
The floors were no longer covered in bloodstains and boot prints, but the whole space still held reminders of what happened.
Piles of glass were a few feet away from each other on the floor, and the large window openings were now covered with heavy-duty plastic sheeting.
The television was no longer in its place, and the couches were covered in tarpaulin.
“I’m just glad we’re all fine,” she said.
Sighing, I took a seat at the dining table.
Liza arrived just after breakfast.
“How are you? Are you okay?” she rushed in and we threw our arms around each other. “Roman and I were in Stamford when we heard. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here earlier.”
“It’s fine,” I chuckled as we sat. “I’m glad you’re here now.”
“Oh, my God. The place is in shambles.”
“It was worse,” I told her as she dropped her bag on the dining table.
“You weren’t injured?” she inquired as Greta emerged with the carrot cake she had insisted on me trying.
“Good morning, ma’am,” she greeted.
“Good morning,” Liza replied as Greta poured some juice into a cup for her. “Thank you.”
“Thank you,” I told Greta as she filled my glass, too.
Greta went back into the kitchen and Liza leaned closer to my side. “This wasn’t a random attack from some threatened cartel or a rival mafia.”
“Definitely not,” I answered, my low tone matching hers.
“Roman says it might be linked to that idiotic ex of yours, Vitya.”
“About the Bratva secrets he holds, and they’re trying to retrieve?”
“Exactly. Yes.”
I sighed.
“Let’s leave all the complicated violence to them. They surely won’t stop until they find the source,” she said, taking a sip of her drink. “So, how are you?”
“I’m still a bit shaken by how the whole place is now covered in ruins. But I’m fine.”
“And Konstantin?”
“He’s fine. Busy.”
“I’m not asking about how Konstantin is. I’m asking about how things are with you two.”
I sighed. “Fine, I guess. Just…normal stuff.”
“What’s going on, Alina?” she urged.
“I don’t understand it myself, I really don’t,” I started.
“I guess things are more confusing than when he used to treat me like a hostage. Now, he makes gestures and says things that make me wonder if we’re, you know, becoming friends.
But he still disappears like a ghost, and then we’re back to being strangers. ”
“That sounds like Konstantin opening up,” she remarked, chuckling.
“Doesn’t seem like that to me.”
“Baby girl, Konstantin lives in extremes. Violence and loyalty. He doesn’t know about any middle ground,” she warned. “If he’s starting to treat you like his, however sporadic, it only means one thing.”
“And what would that be?”
“A choice, Alina,” she answered. “You’ll have to decide if you can handle this world.”
Liza knew what she was saying. She knew about my going back to Russia because I didn’t want to have anything to do with the Bratva world. I had been living in her house, after all.