Chapter 13
“What did you forget this time?” Arielle said from the couch when she heard the knock on the door.
“It’s me,” Jason said from the other side of the door.
She flung herself up into a sitting position and looked out the window, spilling a napping Salty and Foggy from her chest.
Standing on the back deck, Jason positioned himself so his back faced the door. Always polite, she thought, not wanting to peek inside someone’s private home.
Her heart pounded in her chest as she stood up and slowly walked to the door.
She didn’t offer for him to come in or say anything other than, “Hey.”
“We need to talk,” he said with urgency as he turned to face her.
“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.” Because she was about to give in to him. Because she missed him so much. Because she wanted to change her mind. Because she knew she was making the biggest mistake of her life. Because she was leaving the greatest guy she’d ever met.
He stood in his orange rubber overalls and boots, his face red from a long day out on the water. He crossed his arms against his chest and exhaled hard, not liking her answer. He already looked more muscular from hauling lobster traps all day.
“I will wait,” he said. “You can go to the city, and I’ll wait for you.”
She laughed because he had no idea how she felt. “That’s exactly the problem, Jason, don’t you see?” She waited for him to look in her eyes. “I’m never coming back here. Ever.”
He stepped back, looking out at the water. His eyes were red, but he didn’t show his emotions. In fact, for the first time in over a year, she had no idea what he was thinking.
“I’m sorry,” she said, wishing things could be different, but they weren’t. “You should go.”
“Arielle, please,” he said, as she began to close the door. “I love you. Please. I can come and visit in the city.”
None of their last conversation had sunk in. What would prolonging things do? She wasn’t going to change her mind about any of it.
“I have to go,” she said, starting to shut the door before she changed her mind.
If they continued their relationship, he’d be driving hours of highway, fighting Boston traffic, and barely having any time to see each other with her schedule, just to turn around and go back the next day?
No, he’d end up resenting her, and if she gave in and went back to the island, she would most definitely resent him. “Goodbye, Jason.”
“Arielle!” He held out his hand, but she slammed the door.
Once the lock latched, she ran through the apartment to her aunt’s bedroom and hid from herself. How could she have been so cold and cruel? The look on his face as she’d shut the door will forever be etched in her mind. The look of betrayal and heartbreak.
This was the kind of thing that made someone hate you forever. She knew, because she’d had the same feeling when her father had been arrested.
She lay on the bed, wishing she could leave tonight, but she had two more days until the wedding.
As the shadows grew longer and the darkness took over the apartment, Arielle must’ve dozed off. She awoke to her phone buzzing with text messages.
Where are you?!?!
What happened between you and Jason?
Tell me you didn’t break up?!?!
SOS 911
This is an emergency! TEXT ME NOW!!!
As Arielle rubbed her eyes awake and tried to remember where she was, she looked at the clock. It was almost nine at night. She looked at her phone. All the texts had come in from Nora.
Why didn’t you tell me you broke up with Jason?
Looks like the secret’s out.
She sent a text right away. I’m at my aunt’s place.
It took less than ten minutes before Arielle heard Nora running up the steps to Thea’s apartment.
“Where are you?” Nora said as soon as she walked through the door. She turned on the lights, which spilled into Thea’s bedroom.
“I’m in here,” Arielle said from the dark.
Arielle rushed in with her phone lit, illuminating the room. “What’s going on?”
Arielle broke at that point. She hadn’t realized how much she had needed Nora until that moment. “I’m not okay.”
Arielle fell into Nora’s arms and began to cry.
Long, powerful sobs wrenched out of her chest. Her heart literally felt as if it were being pulled apart.
She didn’t even know which of the million reasons she had to cry was getting to her at that moment, but all the guilt, and shame, and pain, and fear, and everything else she had been holding in for the past year poured out of her.
“I need to get off this island,” she sobbed into Nora’s shoulder. “I need to get away from all of this.”
Nora held her like a mother comforting a sick child, shushing her softly and rocking her back and forth. “Let’s go.”
Arielle continued to cry.
“I mean it.” Nora stopped rubbing her back. “Let’s get out of here.”
“What?” Arielle looked up at Nora. “Go where?”
“Vermont.” It had been the place that the strange blended family had their most special time.
Nora’s great aunt had let them stay up in the third floor of her beautiful colonial.
It had been fall, the leaves were at peak, the apples overripe, perfect for apple pies.
They must’ve made over two dozen apple pies, applesauce, apple cider, and more.
That weekend had been magical. “We can take the bus tonight.”
“What about your mom’s wedding?” Arielle thought about her own aunt. She didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. “And my auntie Thea. She’ll be mad I left without saying goodbye.”
Nora passed a tissue to Arielle, who blew her nose. “You have to think of your mental health right now. My mom, of all people, will understand that.”
Arielle started to cry again, because she hadn’t thought about it before, but her mind didn’t feel right. Her thoughts were intrusive and scary and panicky without a warning. Her moods were erratic and unstable.
“It doesn’t hurt to ask for help,” Nora said, holding her with both arms wrapped around her as if she were holding her down from falling through the floor.
“I do need help,” Arielle sobbed.
Nora continued to shush her and rub her back as she cried into her shoulder.
She tried to express everything going on inside her head.
“He doesn’t understand. My dad never let on about any of it.
My mother pretends like everything is a blessing in our lives, but everyone thinks I’m stealing from them.
And if I get tips at the restaurant from locals, it’s as though I should be more grateful to them because my father had stolen from everyone. ”
Nora didn’t interrupt her, just kept stroking her hand up and down on Arielle’s back, soft and gentle, in a rhythm that slowed her heart and breathing.
“Let’s call Lois,” Nora suggested once Arielle stopped crying. “Let’s figure out a plan for you, so you don’t have to worry about anything but getting ready for school.”
Arielle hugged Nora. “You’re my best friend, forever.”
Nora squeezed her. “Always and forever.”
Nora helped Arielle pack up what she had at her aunt’s and then called Lois.
“You could watch Lois’ dogs so she doesn’t have to miss Mom’s wedding,” Nora said, looking at Arielle from her phone.
Arielle held the phone in her hands. Vermont was exactly where she wanted to go, but could she continue to beg, borrow, and live under the graciousness of others?
Her hand trembled as everything weighed on her, her father, her mother, Brady, school, and now Jason. It was all too much.
She pressed the green call button and listened to it ring.
“Nora?” Lois answered as the phone picked up.
“It’s actually Arielle,” she said, nervous. Nora waved her hand in a circular motion to have Arielle keep going. “I’m calling for a favor.”
And she didn’t wait for Lois to even answer before going into everything. When she finished talking, Lois sat silent on the phone for what felt like forever.
“I promised you girls that I would always be here if you needed me,” Lois said. “You can come as soon as you want. I’ll have a room ready for you.”
Arielle couldn’t get off the island fast enough once she heard the plan. Nora would go with her to the ferry and get her to the bus station.
“Are you going to talk to your mom?” Nora asked.
Arielle shook her head. “I’m going to talk to yours.”
Nora’s jaw fell as her head slowly shook from side to side. “I don’t know, Arielle, I really think you should talk to your mom.”
It was dinnertime once she reached Sophia’s house. She knew Jason would be at work, because his motorcycle wasn’t parked in the back when she walked by.
As she walked up Sophia’s driveway, a nostalgic feeling came over her, and tears pushed at the back of her eyes. Was Sophia and Nora’s house the closest thing to home she had left?
She could see Sophia in the kitchen stirring a big pot of something.
Patrick stood behind her, looking over her shoulder.
Just as she was about to knock, she heard the music go up and suddenly Patrick and Sophia started dancing in the middle of the room.
Should she interrupt what was clearly a special moment between the couple?
Or should she sneak away before they noticed she was even there?
She pulled out her journal from her backpack, wrote a quick note, and told Sophia how much she appreciated everything she did, but it was time for her to go. She stuffed a letter she had written to her mother and Sophia’s note into the screen door and took off down the steps.
“Stop,” Sophia said from the porch.
Arielle froze as she closed her eyes, hoping that somehow she could disappear.
“What’s going on, Arielle?” Sophia asked, opening the screen door. The letters fell on the floor next to her feet. She bent down and picked them up. “What’s this?”
Arielle took a deep breath. “I’m leaving tonight for Aunt Lois’s house, and I won’t be able to make the wedding.”
“Are you okay?” Sophia’s eyes showed concern right away, like a mother looking at her own daughter. Arielle felt even more guilty.
She nodded, but tears fell down her cheeks. “Nora’s going to get me to the bus station.”
Sophia wrapped her arms around Arielle just like Nora had, holding her tight against her. “Don’t worry about the wedding,” she whispered into Arielle’s ear. “We’ll celebrate another time together.”
But Arielle doubted she’d see Sophia or Patrick or Jason ever again.
“Thank you so much, Dr. Taylor,” she wept.
“It’s Sophia,” she corrected her, but Arielle hadn’t made a mistake.
The worst part was, she needed to keep her distance.
She would have to forget these people, and forget Isabel Island.