Chapter 16 #3
Arielle wanted to lie down, curl up on the bed, and wake up as Lois—live on an apple farm, have her own life where she made the decisions.
“Why do you stay my friend, even after I treat you so badly?” Arielle asked, lying down on the pillow. A tear slowly trickled down the side of her face and into her hair. Nora followed suit and brushed the moisture away.
“Why do you keep pushing everyone away?” Nora asked, deep lines of concern twisting her face.
Arielle closed her eyes, and the tears kept falling, but the sleep came soon enough.
She couldn’t remember when she heard Nora turn out the lights or when she tucked herself into bed.
All she could remember was that she had the first full night of sleep without waking up in a panicked sweat in the middle of the night.
No waves crashing constantly, keeping her up at night.
She looked over to where Nora had slept. The bed had been made with blankets folded neatly on top, as if her being there had been part of Arielle’s dream.
She could smell something sweet wafting through the air, and when the drapes bellowed out, it was then she realized it was the actual apples warming in the morning sun she smelled.
“Hope I didn’t wake you,” Lois said, as Arielle walked down the back staircase. She stirred a wooden spoon in a ceramic bowl. “I’ve got an apple strudel in the oven.”
“It smells amazing,” Arielle said, now feeling suddenly very awkward standing barefoot in basically a stranger’s home. “Is Nora down here?”
“No, she’s already gone,” Lois said. “She wanted to get back as soon as possible with all the wedding stuff.”
Arielle’s shoulders drooped a bit with guilt. “Right.”
“I needed to do a few more things here before I could get going,” Lois said, checking a notepad that had a list written on it.
Lois had her gray hair pulled back into a long braid tied with a satin yellow ribbon, tied into a bow at the end.
Arielle hadn’t seen the hairstyle done on anyone older than elementary age.
Never had she seen a woman as old as Lois with such long hair, but hanging down in a braid with a tied bow was very unusual.
She stood in a flannel and skirt with rubber galoshes.
And Arielle loved everything about it.
“I love how you braid your hair,” she said to Lois. She stepped up to the counter.
Lois immediately touched the braid and pulled it over her right shoulder. “I never had long hair as a kid or a young woman. It wasn’t until I turned fifty that I grew it long.”
This made Arielle smile. “Really? Wow.”
Arielle hated her long hair. She had her mother’s Greek curls and her father’s chestnut color.
She had dyed it blond for years and hadn’t worn it in braids in even longer, but suddenly more than anything she wanted to be just like Lois.
Go back to her natural color, braid it, and wear whatever she wanted.
Why had she wasted so much time worrying about name brands and “cool” outfits when none of it mattered anyway?
“You know how many women tell me how much they love it?” asked Lois.
Arielle shook her head.
“All of the ones who were told that ladies shouldn’t grow out their hair.” Lois raised her braid up into the air and dropped it.
Arielle smiled as she watched Lois sway in the kitchen to silent music.
She would almost characterize Lois as a little hippie or some sort of witchy, mystical woman, depending on the day.
Today, she was a little hippie—her hair in braids, a flowery flowing skirt, gold bangles on one arm, and a straw hat to top it off.
And honestly, Arielle wasn’t sure if Lois was dressed for the orchard or the wedding, but she loved all of it.
In her household, dressing had been a serious event.
Even Scott Gagnon cared deeply about his appearance.
Clothing, accessories, shoes, anything with a label or brand to let others know its worth, the Gagnons wore it.
Arielle’s first memories were crying in her bedroom, wishing she could wear pants to church instead of a pink satin skirt and white tights.
She even remembered hating Crissy in that moment, but now, as if looking through a rearview mirror, she hated her father even more, because knowing Crissy now, the mother who she had become without money, she didn’t care about any of that stuff once it was out of her life.
Crissy Manus, the divorced wife, didn’t even act like she missed the money.
Not once did she say anything negative about not having the jewelry or the fancy handbags or the big house or the luxury cars.
Her mother had lost everything and had to beg and borrow for what she had now. And she didn’t complain once.
She complained about having trusted someone she’d loved.
“Can I help with anything before you go?” Arielle asked, hoping she didn’t sound like she wanted Lois to go—she didn’t.
She’d rather stay in the house with her.
The old home freaked her out. Nora had told her about how people back in the days put hair and old shoes in-between the walls to ward off evil spirits.
Would those who’d left it behind be the evil spirits she would be alone with?
Wasn’t there even a family graveyard down the road with a stone wall?
“I just want to make sure I have enough time to learn all the routines.”
Lois pushed the pad of white-lined paper at her. “Here are all the things you need to know.”
The list contained times the animals usually “stirred” and needed to eat, the amounts of food for each animal by name, medication for her golden, who suffered from… “Buffer has anxiety?”
“He’s a wuss with the goats.” Lois tsked her tongue. “Darn thing had a situation with one of the billys and never got over it.”
“Awww.” Arielle went back to the list, thinking about what type of situation had occurred between a goat and golden retriever. “Do you need anything else, like watering the houseplants or weeding?”
“You’re doing me a favor, remember?” Lois said. “I lost a farm hand the other day.”
Arielle bit her bottom lip. “You know that’s not true.”
Lois’s wrinkles on her forehead deepened. “We all have things we want to run away from.” An awkward silence hung in the air. Maybe Arielle should explain her situation. Tell Lois everything so she understood. But she wasn’t sure how to explain that she was really just running from herself.
“Lois?” Arielle knew she was putting Lois on the spot. “Could I maybe work here with the animals for the summer? I’d work day and night. And I wouldn’t be a bother. I promise. I’ll pay room and board. I’ll sleep in the barn. I saw there’s an office with heat.”
Lois tilted her head, her answer written in the sad look on her face. “Arielle—stop.”
“I can’t go back there, please.” She was begging at this point.
“What about school? Boston College will be great for you.” Lois’s face twisted at the idea of Arielle skipping out on her opportunity.
Arielle knew Lois would be the one person who would understand her need to escape the island, even more than Nora and her aunt. Lois had done it. She had been the one out of all of them who had left and stayed gone.
“I can’t go there.” Arielle wished she could explain herself.
She knew she sounded insane to most people.
Most kids her age would kill to get a scholarship doing something she had loved throughout school.
Others would kill to go to such a top-ranking, well-honored institution.
Her mother may not care about losing her expensive things, but she loved to tell everyone who would listen that her daughter was going to the famous Boston College on a full scholarship. That, she loved to brag about.
“I don’t want that.” Arielle wanted something else. “I just want…”
She didn’t know how to go on without losing her emotions again, and she didn’t want Lois to think her immature.
“What is it?”
She looked at Lois, silently pleading for her to understand. “Freedom.”