Fourteen Storm
Osiris
Every time it storms I feel like I’m five years old all over again. I still remember how it felt when my mom was off her face and hit a tree with me in the backseat. Thankfully no one was injured beyond a few cuts and bruises, but the four hours that I sat in the backseat listening to the deafening wind and rain while she was knocked out still haunt me.
Before that day, I didn’t realize how much of a problem her habits had become because we still did all the normal things a family was supposed to do.
I just hadn’t realized how fucked up they both were every time because it was so normal for me.
Why am I thinking about this?
After I’m clean, I pace her bedroom for a while and try to calm myself down before I go out into the living room again, but it seems like no matter how many times I tell myself I’m not that little kid anymore my brain doesn’t seem to give a fuck.
We didn’t have many storms back home, but when we did I struggled to even catch a breath some nights in prison. Cohen helped. He’d talk to me or sing some song completely out of tune as a distraction, and I actually find it hard not to call him.
I really need my own phone one of these days.
Before I can hype myself up enough to join Sienna, she sheepishly peeks in the bedroom and catches me walking around with both my hands on my head. I manage to give her a smile and stop my pacing to put on a shirt. “Done working?”
“Yep, and the food’s on the way. I put a little care package downstairs too just in case, but I think we’ll be okay. Do you want to come watch tv?”
“Yeah, sure. You mentioned having comfort shows, can you show me one?”
I think this might be the first time she hasn’t checked out my package while in sweats, and that tells me I’m not hiding my dumbass anxiety as well as I’m trying to. I hope it doesn’t change how she sees me.
Still, I follow her out there and try to sit down like the roll of thunder I just heard didn’t fucking rock me. Here we go.
“You said you’re into fantasy type things, right? We could try Grimm ,” she offers. “Or if you want something you’ll laugh at and not be able to relate to at all, we could go with Jane the Virgin .”
My brain only caught one of those titles thanks to the rain starting, so I pick that one. “What’s Grimm about?”
“A normal guy who happens to be able to see these like... shifter creatures. They look like other humans but he can see who they really are, and he hunts them pretty much.”
“That sounds right up my alley, let’s do it.”
I naturally gravitate toward her a little more without even realizing I shifted, but there’s something about her that’s calming me enough to actually be excited about starting a show with her.
And I’d have to be blind not to notice the way she scoots close enough that our knees are touching. It’s just a shame that every ounce of my focus shifts to that one little spot instead of the opening of this show, which means I’ve got no idea what the hell is going on when she moves enough to separate and I finally start paying attention.
By the time we’re fed and well into episode three, the storm outside is loud enough to have her putting the volume up. I don’t know if she’s doing it because she really can’t hear, or if she’s trying to get my leg to stop shaking without calling me out, but it helps — at least until the power shuts off completely.
Fuck.
With nothing but candle light to illuminate the space, I realize just how dark it is outside, and find myself rushing over to see what’s going on.
“Si,” she calls. “We can go down into the basement. We’ll be safe down there.”
If the basement is a cement box like my cell was, she’s going to hate me soon, but I nod anyway and let her lead me down without complaining about it.
I’m actually surprised as hell that it looks like the rest of her house, just without windows. It’s still too close to a cell for me to really be comfortable, but it’s carpeted with painted drywall and there are couches for us to sit on. She’s also brought down snacks, water, blankets, lanterns, and a radio.
It smells better than prison too thanks to the candles, so I grab a bottle of water before I start my pacing. “Do you like music?”
I’m sure the question feels random for her, but I’m trying to keep my mind distracted, and the radio reminds me of the one in the rec room the older dudes refused to share.
“What kind of weirdo doesn’t?” she laughs. “Do you have a preference?”
Shaking my head, I meet her eyes as she gets comfortable on the couch. “I usually just vibe to whatever’s on. I never got to really figure out what my favorite is. Maybe you can help me find my genre.”
A little too excitedly, she takes me on a crash course through country, hip hop, pop, oldies, classic rock and metal until I can’t seem to hear anything at all but the sound of her voice.
It’s much more soothing than Cohen’s ever was, so after a while I find myself sitting on the couch next to her and letting her fill all of my senses.
It works great... right up until her phone makes the most god-awful siren sound I’ve ever heard.
“What the hell is that?”
Jumping up, I pull her into me protectively and squeeze like we might actually die here together, and I’ve got her so close to me I can feel the steady, even rhythm of her heart. She’s not afraid.
“It’s a tornado warning, but please don’t be scared by that. We get them a lot whenever there’s rotation in the storm system, it doesn’t mean a tornado has touched down or that there’s one anywhere near us.”
Closing my eyes, I focus on how her heart feels, letting every thump calm me more with each passing second. “You think the Winchesters are okay? They’re pretty old.”
“Yes. They have an actual storm shelter and they’ve survived far worse than this,” she assures me. “I asked them once if they were afraid of tornadoes and they told me they came out as gay at a redneck wedding, so nothing will ever scare them as much as that did. They’re tougher than they look.”
“They’re braver than me,” I admit. “Ask me something... anything.” Just distract me.
“What do you want to do with the money you made?”
Nuzzling in closer to her, I inhale her scent and focus back on her. “I want to save up so I can take you on that date I promised.”
“You still want to go on a date with me even though I’ve been a complete weirdo since you got here?”
“Hell yeah. Probably more now.” I’m not lying. Seeing her be a human and stick to her guns has only made me want to make her mine more. “Guess I like weirdos. Who knew?”
She glances up to meet my eyes in the candlelight, all playful and skeptical. “Or maybe you just need to leave the house more.”
“I go on a walk every day. That’s enough time away if you ask me. I’m not interested in meeting any other women, so you got me, weirdo. For as long as you’ll have me.”
Her eyes flick between mine and I nearly ask if I can kiss her again when the power comes back on. Shocked, she checks her phone and laughs quietly. “We’ve been down here for over six hours. The storm ended a long time ago.”
“Seriously?” All at once I feel completely drained from the day and want nothing more than to cuddle up to this woman and go to sleep. “Is it over over?”
She studies the radar on her phone and then nods with her bottom lip between her teeth. “Here, yes. It looks like there’s another small cell a little south of us, so we may hear the thunder from that but won’t be in any danger.”
I release a deep breath and then stand, holding out my hand for hers because I’m just not ready to stop touching her. “Let’s get some sleep.”
The way her fingers slot with mine feels natural, even when we bump into each other blowing out candles and walking up the stairs. She was right, I can still hear rumbles of thunder every couple of minutes as we get ready for bed, but once we climb inside, this absolutely perfect woman scoots herself over to my side and pulls me to her. I don’t feel judged for having anxiety nor embarrassed for being human, I just feel... like I matter.
I never knew how good this could feel, but now that I do I don’t know how I ever survived without it. I asked her to help me experience this little thing called life, what I didn’t expect was for her to teach me what living is with such a simple gesture.
Now it’s time for me to teach her how to let someone in.