Lockdown Corner (Walker University Stallions #5)

Prologue

SIXTEEN YEARS OLD, JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL

brOOKE

A shiver runs through me, and it’s not from the cold.

Something is wrong. We should be celebrating Beck’s win, but as we get closer to him, I see his brows pulled together and furrowed.

His girlfriend, Charlie, is standing beside him, worry etched across her face.

Beck is yelling at someone standing in front of him.

It’s a woman, but I can’t see who she is since her back is to me.

She’s petite, with shoulder-length sandy-colored hair.

The look on my brother’s face is one I haven’t seen in a long time—not since a time we don’t talk about. My heart starts racing, and when my dad takes my hand in his and squeezes it, I know for sure there is a problem.

We finally reach them and stand next to Charlie. She’s aged, yet the lines on her face make her appear even older than she probably is. They’re hard and deep. Like she’s lived a rough life.

A life away from me.

I feel like I’m moving in slow motion as I watch my dad’s gaze move from Beck’s to the woman in pure recognition.

“Beck! What’s going on? Stevie? What the hell? You’re not supposed to be here,” my dad whispers angrily.

I look up at my mother.

My heart races in my chest, and my lungs feel like they’re packed with cotton as I stare at her.

Tears are running down her face, her hands covering her mouth. She’s looking directly at me. “Brookie? Oh my God, you’re so beautiful.”

At the sound of her voice—and, God, the nickname—my spine straightens, and I freeze. I don’t feel my dad release my hand, nor do I feel my brother protectively wrapping his arm around me.

Faint memories rush through me. They’re flashes really. Tiny pieces that are buried deep in my mind.

Brookie.

She would always call me that when she apologized.

That I remember. Clearly. My mother is an alcoholic, or she was anyway.

She’s supposed to be in prison for burning my brother’s hand and arm.

I have some memory of that day. Mostly of Beck’s screams and me holding on to my mother’s legs, begging her to stop hurting him. And the smell. Burning, smoke.

My dad’s voice pulls me out of the memory.

I do what I do best. Five, four, three, two, one.

Five things I see. The Jumbotron blazing overhead. A hand-painted poster board bobbing in the crowd. A news camera angled too close. The orange Gatorade cooler by the bench. A man dancing like the world isn’t watching.

Four things I can touch. The rough denim of my jeans. Turf biting through the soles of my sneakers. The soft cotton of Charlie’s sleeve beneath my fingers. My own skin as my hand curls into a fist.

Three things I hear. A baby crying somewhere behind us. A woman cheering. My own breath—too loud, too fast.

Two things I smell. Sweat. Firework smoke.

One thing I taste. I dig into my pocket, find the mint I always keep there, and pop it into my mouth. Cool. Clean. Something solid to hold on to as I pretend like nothing bad is happening.

“Let’s go, Stevie. Don’t ruin this celebration by embarrassing him like this right now.” My dad turns to us. “I got this, Beck. Go celebrate with your team. Brooke, you stay with Charlie, and we’ll meet you in the waiting area.” Then he turns back to my mother. “Start walking.”

She tries to get to Beck and me, but he grabs her arm, stopping her from getting any closer to us. “Ryan, I just wanted to see him for just a minute. I haven’t been able to see him or Brooke in two years! Just give me five minutes. If they don’t want to speak with me, I’ll go.”

I glance at my dad’s face, and it’s starting to turn red. He’s barely controlling his anger. “Nope. Not happening. You will not lay a single finger on my kids again.”

“Ry …” she starts.

He bends down and gets in her face. His voice is quiet, trying not to bring attention to us, but I can hear him. “NO! I said no. If you don’t start walking, I’m going to call your parole officer. You aren’t supposed to be within ten feet of the kids. Ever.”

He starts to pull her away from us, tilting his head and leaning it to the side. He leads her in the opposite direction from the locker room.

Charlie comes to stand beside us, reaching for my brother. Casey, her twin, is behind her. “Beck—”

“Not now, Charlie. Not here. I’ll speak with you later.” He turns to me and wraps his other arm around me, whispering into my ear, “You’re okay. Just take some deep breaths. Stay close to Charlie and her parents. Don’t talk to anyone. I’ll see you at the hotel, okay?”

I haven’t found my voice, so I just nod.

He kisses the side of my head, then turns to walk off the field toward the locker room.

“Char, let’s give him a minute, okay? I don’t know a lot about this situation, but I do know it’s not good. I’ll make sure he’s okay. You take Brooke back toward the waiting area, and we’ll meet you there.” Casey wraps an arm around Charlie and reaches out a hand to me, but I still can’t move.

She shakes off Casey’s arm and reaches for me. “I’m so sorry, Brooke. I have no idea what’s happening, but I’m so, so sorry.”

I just look at her and nod again. That’s all I feel like I can do.

“Let’s go wait for your dad with my parents.” She reaches for my hand.

The mint in my mouth has dissolved and so have my emotions as I focus on what’s important. Beck.

I look around, watching everyone celebrating. “Right, yeah. Okay, let’s do that. Um … where do we go?”

She leads me toward an exit off the field. “Let’s go this way. It’ll take us to the family waiting area.”

When we reach the hallway, we turn the corner, and I can see my dad standing with Charlie and Casey’s parents. The Kings have been like family to us since we moved in across the street from them years ago.

My dad has his back to us, but his arms are spread out to his sides, and he’s shaking his head. I can see the Kings, looking rattled. I mean, what can they say? They know everything that’s happened.

“I’ll talk to him and tell him he needs to explain all of this to Charlie. I’m sorry about this. I had no idea she was coming,” he says as we reach them.

Carol, Charlie’s mom, reaches for her. “Charlie, are you okay?”

She then reaches out to me while holding Charlie. “Brooke, honey, are you okay?”

I swallow and try to seem calm, but when I speak, it’s barely a whisper. “Oh, yeah, I’m okay. I think I’m just a little in shock, seeing her. It’s been so long.”

My dad puts his arm around my shoulders. “Why don’t you go back to the hotel with the Kings? I’m going to wait for Beck to make sure he’s okay.”

I nod, but then shake my head, clearing my voice. “How will you get back to the hotel if we have the rental car?”

He looks over at Charlie’s dad. “Tim will take the rental, and I’ll catch an Uber when he gets on the bus to go back to the hotel.”

“Tim, let’s head out now,” Carol says.

He places a hand on my dad’s shoulder. “Yep, let’s go, girls. Ryan, we’ll see you back at the hotel in a bit. Let me know if you need anything in the meantime.”

The ride back is quiet. We’re all clearly worried about Beck. And based on Charlie’s shaking leg, she is even more anxious to see him.

I’m not really sure what to say. Now that I can think a little more clearly, I realize that Charlie doesn’t know about our past. It makes me feel awkward, on top of an already-upsetting situation.

Tim parks the car, and before I pull the handle to open the door, Charlie reaches for me. “Are you okay, B?”

To try to ease her concern, I place my hand over hers. “I’m okay. I’m sorry this was a shock to you. I thought you knew about our mom. I’m sure Beck has his reasons for not telling you, but give him a chance to explain. Don’t shut him out, okay?”

She nods. “I won’t. I love him—you know that. I just don’t understand why he didn’t tell me.”

“I’m not going to assume to know what the reasons are, so just hear him out and be patient with him.”

Charlie nods and leans over to hug me. “Love you, B. Text me if you need anything.”

“Love you too, Char.” And I mean it. Even if she and my brother weren’t together, she’s like a sister to me.

My brother suffered under my mother’s hand a lot more than I did—physically anyway.

He processes our trauma in his own way, and he would never ask for or say he needed support, but he does.

He’s always been my protector, and our bond is strong.

We might not be twins, but I can read my brother as if we were.

He’ll need us, but he’ll want Charlie more. Once he’s calmed down.

When we get to the lobby, I don’t see my dad there, so I head up to our room.

While I wait, I take out my phone and start to search social media to see if any of our family drama made it online. I don’t want that to overshadow Beck’s success today. He’s worked so hard for this, and getting to the national championship would be amazing.

My dad finally comes into the room, looking exhausted. “You okay?”

I nod and give him a smile. “I am. How are you? Have you seen Beck?”

I’ve wired myself to be okay. For him. For Beck. Not cause problems, keep the house happy, peaceful. I stuff down my anxiety so my dad and brother won’t worry about me. They’ve had too many painful years, and they’ve only recently started to finally seem happy again.

Logically, I know I would never lose them, but there is a deep-rooted fear that I’m the reason why my mom drank and hurt us. I don’t think she really wanted to have another baby after Beck, to be honest.

“He’s going to talk to Charlie and then come up here when he’s done.”

“Do you know why he never told her about Mom? I know Tim and Carol have the whole story, and I assumed Casey and Charlie did too.”

“I’m not really sure. I have my guesses, but you know your brother is not the best at expressing his feelings. Time’s up though, and he’s going to have to tell her now. She needs to understand, as hard as it may be for him,” he says, walking toward me, holding his hand out to me.

I take his hand in mine and let him pull me in for a hug.

“You sure you’re okay? You can tell me anything—you know that, right?”

I squeeze him hard, then remove myself from his hold. “I promise. I can’t say it wasn’t a shock. I haven’t seen her since her parole hearing. But why didn’t you tell us she got out?”

He sighs. “Honestly, I didn’t want to upset either one of you, especially with everything going on with your brother, and she’s not supposed to be contacting you anyway. I never would have thought she would show up tonight.”

“Yeah, I mean, pretty ballsy on her part.” I’m trying to be conversational about it, but on the inside, my entire body feels like it’s on fire. And the tightness in my back is warning me that a panic attack could hit me soon if I don’t get myself under control.

“Brooke—”

Before my dad can finish, there’s a knock on the door. He walks over and looks in the peephole.

“It’s Beck,” he says as he opens the door.

Beck walks into the room, looking shattered. He runs his hand through his hair as he walks toward me. “You’re okay?”

“I am. Are you okay?” I reach for his hand.

He shakes his head. “I’m … fuck. I don’t know. Charlie is upset now … fuck.” He pulls me into him and wraps his arms around me. “Everything will be fine. We’ll go back to Oklahoma and forget this happened.”

Forget. That’s the family motto. Not forgive. Not heal.

We erase. We bury. We move on.

Or at least we pretend we do, even as the memories cling tight like they’ve always belonged.

I pull a deep breath in. “Right. Forget it happened.”

My dad walks over to us and wraps his arms around both of us. “I’m so sorry, kids. I really am just …”

He doesn’t finish, but Beck and I both know the guilt he carries with him for leaving us when we were little. He had no idea what was happening to us while he was gone.

There are questions I want to ask. What was she doing here? When was the last time you heard from her? How and when did she get out of prison?

But just like I always do, I keep my mouth shut and let all my emotions boil inside. It’s only a matter of time before I lose it. I just hope I can make it back home before it happens. I can’t let my dad and brother see me fall apart.

If I’m not careful, I may unravel, and who will be there to save me?