Chapter 20 #2
I can’t stand to see her like this, but I’m hurt. And maybe feel a little betrayed that she had talked to her dad about this and didn’t mention it to me before now. And I might still not know if I hadn’t seen those papers.
All of it—the ache in my chest, the way my lungs locked up the second I saw those papers—just proves how far gone I am.
I don’t panic like that. I don’t lose my breath over paper. And yet the idea of this ending, of her choosing to walk away, hit me so hard it felt physical. Like something vital was being pulled out of me without warning.
Which means I’m in deeper than I ever let myself believe.
I’m in love with her. Completely. In a way that doesn’t ask permission or wait for good timing. In a way that’s settled itself into my bones without me noticing.
So in love that if she decides this is over—if she signs those papers and ends it—something in me is going to break.
Not bruise. Not sting.
Break.
Fuck.
My hands drop from my head and I walk to her. “Brooke,” I take her in my arms. “I need a little space right now.” I release a heavy breath. “I’m not gonna lie, this sucks and it hurts. So, I’m going to go to the store, and run some errands to clear my head.”
“Can I come with you?” She looks up at me. “Silas, please don’t leave like this.”
“Not right now. I’ll be back later.” I kiss the top of her head and let her go.
I replay our conversation in my head, and the thought of losing her starts to take over.
There’s only one place I know to take this kind of fear. My mama.
She answers on the first ring. “Hi, honey.”
“Hey,” I say, voice rougher than I meant it to be.
She hears it anyway. She always does. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
I close my eyes. “No, Mama, I’m okay. Dad around too?”
“Sure. Hang on a second.” There’s a pause. Then the soft shuffle of movement.
“No, you need to press Speaker so we can both hear him,” my dad tells my mom. “Silas? What’s going on?” my dad asks, calm and steady, like the world hasn’t just tilted.
“I need advice,” I say.
When I told my parents Brooke and I got married in Vegas, they took it well. My parents aren’t the type to involve themselves much into my business unless I ask.
My mom exhales. “Oh, that’s never a good sign.”
“Yeah.” I laugh dryly. “I found annulment papers,” I say.
Silence.
Then my dad clears his throat. “Did she ask for one?”
“No.”
“Were they signed?”
“No.” I release a heavy breath. “They were just … there.”
My mom’s voice softens. “Oh, Silas.”
“I’m not mad,” I say quickly. “I’m just—” I stop, jaw tightening. “I don’t understand. Things had been going so well, and it just took me by surprise. She says her dad had them drawn up.”
My dad speaks carefully. “How long have you been married now? What, like a month?”
I huff out a breath. “Technically, almost two months.”
“And how long have you known each other?” he asks.
“A year and a half now.”
“And how fast did everything happen between you?”
I don’t answer right away.
“Well, considering we eloped, fast,” I admit. I haven’t told them about the kiss at the basketball game, but even then, it would still be fast.
My mom cuts in gently, “That doesn’t mean it was wrong.”
“I know,” I say. “And I don’t feel like it is. I want to stay in this marriage. And lately, it feels like she does, too, but now I can’t help but wonder if she was already planning an exit or if it really was her dad.”
My dad lets that sit.
“Silas, when people are scared, they prepare for the worst, even when they hope for the best. I’m sure seeing his daughter get married like that shook him up a bit. He’s probably worried about her.”
I run a hand through my hair. “So, you think this is fear.”
“I think it’s insurance,” my mom says. “A way for her to feel like she has control. I’m sure it has less to do with you and more about his hopes and dreams for her.”
That … actually makes sense. Too much sense.
“I don’t want her to feel like she has a backup plan if things get bad,” I say quietly.
“Then, if that happens, don’t argue about the papers,” my dad replies. “Argue for the marriage.”
I look down at my ring, twisting it once. “I just don’t want her to leave if things get hard. And this is making me think she might.”
My mom’s voice is firm now. “Then you show her why she should stay.”
My dad adds, “And you do it without ultimatums. Without pressure. You make it safe for her to stay. Make it her idea to stay.”
I swallow. “I really love her.”
“We know,” my mom says. “We can hear it.”
“Son, you know we’re here for you through all of it, but you also need to think about everything you have going on.
You’re a good man, and I know you’re keeping her in mind as you make some of these decisions, but you also can’t lose sight of what the goal is here.
Create a future for yourself. You’ve worked hard for this.
Your marriage should enhance your dreams.”
“Thanks. I love y’all. I’ll see you soon.”
“We love you too. Everything will work out—you’ll see.” My mom is so sweet. She always sees the world in a golden light.
“You’re still planning to come home for the draft?” my dad asks.
“Yeah, that’s the plan. Hopefully, we can work this out, and she’ll be with me too.”
I hang up a few minutes later and sit there in the quiet of my truck again.
Two months ago, things were different. I was just a guy who wanted a girl. But now, I’m a husband, hoping his wife wants to stay married to him.