32. Bailey
thirty-two
Bailey
Nat helps herself to whatever’s in the fridge and takes a seat on the couch, throwing her feet onto my lap.
I roll my eyes at her, grateful she’s wearing socks.
“You love me,” she says with a grin.
“Bays, are you sure you’re okay? You haven’t left this place in six days.” She looks around the room like it might tell her something I can’t.
“Have you showered? Brushed your teeth?” She sniffs the air in my direction, scrunching her nose up in disgust.
“Yep.” Nope.
I did, however, drink an entire thirty-pack on my own so that’s something, right?
She sighs.
“You were falling for him, weren’t you?” she says softly.
My eyes sting, tears threatening to fall.
I’m surprised I have any left.
I don’t answer.
Can’t answer.
The silence between us is heavy. Settling around us like a fucking wet blanket.
She knows. Nat always knows.
“Bays, have you talked to him at all since that day?” Her voice is quiet now.
“No,” I admit, my voice shaking. “I’ve written and deleted at least one hundred messages but I couldn’t,” I pause, blinking away the pressure behind my eyes. “I couldn’t do it, Nat.”
“Oh babe, I’m so sorry,” Nat sighs. “Maybe you could just let him know you miss him? Tell him you’re sorry?”
I choke down a sob, “I don’t know where to start,” I say. “He didn’t deserve that.”
“I know, but Bays, you were scared and you let your anxiety convince your heart it was wrong,” she says. “But I don’t think it is. Maybe, just this once, you can lean into something new, trusting that it’s going to work out in your favor?”
“Maybe,” I echo.
I startle when my phone rings, not expecting a call from Mom this late in the evening.
“Mom?” I answer.
“Bailey, something happened. Where are you?”
My stomach lurches and I can feel the color drain from my face.
Nat must sense the shift in the air because she’s frozen in place, cereal spoon halfway to her mouth.
“I’m at home. On the couch. Nat is here.” I manage. “What’s wrong?”
“Honey, your dad is going in for emergency surgery,” her voice hitches as she begins to cry.
“Surgery?” I ask, my mind reeling with everything from emergency orthopedic surgery to an appendectomy.
“Mom, what happened?”
“He—um,” she sobs. “He had a heart attack and they are taking him to the cath lab now. I never had a chance to call you, Bailey everything happened so quickly I just…”
My blood runs cold. “Where are you?”
“We’re at Baptist. They just rolled him away. Bailey, I’m scared.”
“I’m on my way.”