54. Lolly
fifty-four
Lolly
My eyes wander across the dance floor. Again. Another fruitless search for him. “Ouch, what the hell?” I squeak after Jay pinched the shit out of me. “What was that for?”
“He’s not coming,” Jay says, rolling his eyes. “Let him go. Enjoy yourself. All we have is tonight,” he says with a wink.
“You stole my line,” Jinx teases. “Besides, you have to say it with an upward inflection at the end.” Their smile fades. “Wait, does this mean beefcake blondie isn’t coming?”
I shake my head in defeat, bringing my drink to my lips. Jinx looks at me through their glass, raising their eyebrows as if trying to decipher a calculus equation.
“Don’t ask,” Jay says to them, shaking his head in warning.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Jinx teases. Their long lashes glittering under the lights.
I laugh, glancing at my phone again to check the time. The show is over, but the night has just begun. The club fills up with more patrons every hour that passes. None of them are him.
“Come on, bitches. Let’s dance,” Jinx says, yelling over the music so we both hear them.
Jay and I both know better than to argue with Jinx, so we finish our drinks and follow them onto the dancefloor.
The air is thick with warm bodies and longing. Sweat-drenched skin touching mine as we pass through the sea of people. I’m unbothered by their touch, just disappointed it isn’t his.
Okay, Lolly. You put your hand out and he didn’t take it. It’s time to move on. Let go. Enjoy the moment. As Jinx says, ‘all we have is tonight.’
I let the music in. Let the sights and the beats move against and through me.
Jinx places themselves between Jay and me, their lithe body moving to the beat as they, too, let go.
Jinx told us earlier that they weren’t interested in dating right now and asked that we snatch them up if we see them wandering off with anyone.
The request had made both of us laugh because there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell either of us could stop them.
I close my eyes, letting my mind take me back to sunsets and picnics. To nights in his dorm room. Long showers and old couches with shitty springs.
I haven’t worn my wings since that night we kissed behind the club. Unable to so much as look at them without a barrage of flavors and scents that are all things Bailey.
God, I miss him.
I open my eyes, Jinx still moving between us though Jay has found someone else to dance with.
Jinx backs up against me then puts their mouth toward my ear, “You think Jay is going to snag himself a twink tonight?”
I laugh, unable to stop myself. “He just might,” I reply.
I look past them and freeze in place when I’m met with a pair of green eyes I’ve been dying to see.
His mouth is open, eyes glassy as he sways a bit on his feet. I go to reach for him, but he turns around and pushes through the crowd so quickly I lose sight of him.
“Bailey!” I yell, but my voice is lost in the madness.
I try to follow him but can’t find him.
Heart thrumming in my chest, I feel panic rising.
Why is he leaving?
What the fuck happened?
I make it to the entrance and fling the doors open, frantically searching the street for any sign of him.
“Fuck.” I sigh, bringing my hands to my head in absolute bewilderment. Where the fuck did he go? And why?
“Oliver?” I hear Jinx say from behind me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. I just—” I pause, struggling to get my thoughts together. “I saw him. He was here and then he just took off like he’d seen a ghost.”
“Him?” Jinx asks. “As in him him?”
“Yeah,” I admit.
“Oh, fuck Oliver, I’m sorry. I hope he didn’t see me and think we were—um, together or anything.”
I freeze. Fear and regret threaten to suffocate me.
“Oh god,” Jinx continues, “I saw him right after you asked me about Jay and the twink. I bet that definitely looked bad. Like, really bad.”
My stomach churns at the thought and my chest aches as I revisit that look he’d had on his face—devastation.
Jinx is right.
He thought I was with someone else.
“Fuck!”
“I need to find him. Tell Jay I’m sorry.”
“Consider it done. Now go get your man,” Jinx says with a knowing grin. They grab my wrist gently, eyes kind. “All we are is today, and all we have is tonight.”
I blink back tears as I nod in understanding.
“I’ll text when I’m home. Be safe,” I add as I head toward my car, grateful I’d only had one drink.