81. Lolly
eighty-one
Lolly
“Good luck tonight,” Corina says with a wink.
I roll my eyes as I head out the door, “Thanks, Corina.”
I snip a fresh zinnia from mom’s flower bed and twirl it between my fingers before putting it behind my ear.
Is a flower too much?
I stop to check my phone once I’m in the car, laughing when I see there are multiple messages in the group chat.
Jay: You going to show him your piercings?
Jinx: Is he too vanilla for that? Don’t scare the poor guy off.
Jay: Probably. We’re not even sure if he’s out of the closet yet.
Jinx: ?? Okay, Debbie Downer
Jinx: Ignore him. Have fun! And maybe aim for his mouth instead of his cheek this time?
Jinx: I mean, only if you’re ready. But, like… please? ????
Me: We’ll see ??
I laugh as I pull out of the garage, knowing I’ll have to give them more at some point—but they can wait.
I shift anxiously in my seat, then distract myself trying to find something to listen to.
I settle on an old playlist Jay and I put together in college, smiling at the memory of us arguing about which song deserved to be number one in the rotation. Hours of deliberation later, “Snuff” by Slipknot sat at the top of the list.
My stomach twists in anticipation, I keep wondering if he still wants me the way I want him. If he felt the current between us, humming beneath his skin. It’s intoxicating.
I send him a quick text when I’m a few minutes away, wondering if he’s still trying to figure out which pair of Vans to wear.
My mind keeps playing out various scenarios, different endings to tonight. One in which Bailey is bent over that kitchen counter I saw. One where he awkwardly tells me he isn’t interested. And another one, my personal favorite, where he begs me to fill his hole.
I clear my throat hoping to also clear my head as I put the car in park. He isn’t outside yet so I head toward his door. I check the time again, making sure I’m not early, and then knock.
I hear shuffling and a string of expletives before the door finally opens. I can’t help but smile as a disheveled, older version of the boy I knew blushes between apologies.
“Sorry, I lost track of time,” he says before his gaze darts to the floor.
I’m wearing another cropped t-shirt with my favorite leather pants and I definitely caught his gaze when it paused on my waist on its descent.
“No worries,” I say, leaning against the doorway.
He fists his shirt and then glances back up at me. “You can, um,” he pauses. “You can come in.”
“Thank you,” I say as I pull the flower from my ear and hold it out to him.
He stares at it like it might bite and then looks at me again, brows furrowed as if he’s confused.
“It’s not an engagement ring, green eyes, just something beautiful that reminded me of you.”
His cheeks redden further as he clears his throat. “Thanks,” he manages as he gingerly takes it from me.
“Nice place,” I say as I take in his open kitchen and living area. It suits him. All cool neutrals with black and white accents and framed band posters. “I see you gave up on the murder couch?”
“Yeah,” he laughs. “It was long overdue.”
“I like this one,” I say as I run my fingers over the camel-colored leather. “Do you ever miss the old one?” I ask as I find his eyes again.
“Yeah,” he admits. “I really do.”
“You’ll just have to make new memories on this one,” I tease.
He laughs, “So far all this couch has seen is my favorite movies, some video games, and mine and Liam’s asses,” he says, shaking his head.
“You two game naked?”
“Fuck you,” he huffs.
I’d be happy to, I think.
“Maybe later, but you should at least buy me dinner first,” I reply.
He runs his hand through his hair in that same nervous way he always has, that red flush now reaching the tops of his ears.
“I’m going to—um, finish getting ready,” he says. “You can have a seat if you’d like. Literally any seat because this couch won’t try to sterilize you,” he adds with a grin.
“I’ll wait for you,” I say. The admission feels bigger than I had meant for it to, but I don’t regret it.