10. Saturday #4
Maybe she should have agreed to spend the week with Ren, but she knew what the result would be.
She would fall back in love with him. He would tease her, give her a taste of her old life, restore her to optimism, and then leave.
He would go back to Nevada and they would text for a while… and then nothing.
She couldn’t handle that from him again. She wasn’t strong enough.
A dark figure was crossing the lawn coming back from the beach, its outline oddly shaped in the dark. She identified him instantly, carrying a tripod on one shoulder and a camera bag on the other.
She didn’t want to startle him, so she stood up and walked to the edge of the porch to wait. She felt it like a touch the moment he saw her.
“Shooting?” she asked just loudly enough to be heard over the wind.
He nodded. He took the few steps up onto the porch and stood near her, his green eyes looking grey in the half-light. “Couldn’t sleep?”
She nodded.
“Not much moon for your workshop,” she said.
“Anytime you’re hoping to get with the Milky Way, you schedule for the new moon. Reduces the glare.”
“That makes sense.”
He gave a quick smile. “And then you hope for clear skies. This is great right now, but there may be some weather blowing in around Wednesday. I’m hoping the cloud cover will be minimal.”
“If there are rainy days, do your clients ask for their money back?”
“Worse. I have to hang out and socialize with them.”
She smiled a little.
He took a breath. “I know you’ve already said no, but can I explain one thing?
I didn’t invite you because I felt sorry for you.
Paul said you’d stopped doing photography, and it bothered me.
But I also wanted to know you again. And I know a day or two isn’t going to cut it, especially if we’re busy shooting the wedding.
I wanted to see if we could be friends again.
” Ren went silent for a moment, as the waves continued their endless cycle of advance and retreat.
“I know I messed things up with you. And I knew I couldn’t apologize without at least explaining myself.
I don’t know when I’m going to get another chance. ”
She considered this, looking out toward the water. “What will you do if you don’t find an assistant?”
“I’ll figure it out. It’ll be harder but I’ll make it work.” He sighed. “I just really hoped I could talk you into it.”
“You haven’t contacted me in years.” He still texted her on her birthday and she on his. But that was it.
“I know. I thought…after what happened…I thought I had messed up our friendship so much that I needed to apologize in person, and by the time I could make it there to do it, you were involved with someone, and it felt inappropriate to talk about it.” Inappropriate?
The idea that Ren had feelings for her felt so implausible that Sarah dismissed it out of hand.
He couldn’t possibly mean that, could he?
“And then you got married,” he went on, “and I didn’t want to hear about how great your marriage was. Or if it was shitty, I didn’t want to hear that either.”
“It didn’t start out shitty,” she said.
“I kept waiting for news that you were having a kid.”
“Ha. Irony.”
“I wish you had. I wish you’d gotten everything you wanted. I just didn’t think I could be friends with you and watch it happen.”
“I was friends with you when you were married.”
He looked down. “I know, but that was different.”
“Why?”
He took a step closer. “Because I hadn’t messed everything up yet.” He looked at her until she finally met his eyes. “Can you just give me a chance to get to know you again? I miss being your friend.”
It was such a simple request that Sarah’s heart melted a little. She took a long breath.
“I’ll see if I can get off work this week.”
He nodded, his eyes sparkling in the darkness. “Thank you. I appreciate it. I know it’s a long drive to Gros Morne, but I can probably get you a plane ticket out of St. John’s if there’s still one available. Last time I looked, the flight was booked, but it’s possible that…”
“I can drive out. It’s fine,” Sarah said.
“No need. I’ll be driving anyway,” he said. “I have a rental car for the week. So if I can’t get you a flight, maybe I could just come with you when you drop off your rental car, and then we can drive out there together.”
“I have my mother’s car. I have to take her home tomorrow, and then I was going to call a taxi service to get back to St. John’s. So if we go together, you will have to follow me all the way to my mother’s house and leave from there.”
“That’s fine. I’ll get to see your hometown.”
Her mouth crooked at the thought. “Population six hundred? I don’t think you’ll be impressed. It’s pretty low on culture. Nowhere to watch a sad indie film.”
“On the other hand, it sounds like the perfect setting for a sad indie film.”
“I do have a dead father, so maybe you’re right.”
He smiled, his eyes full of feeling. He had said that he wanted to be her friend again. And like a fool, she wanted that, too. The rest of it, the nonsense about how sad he was that he’d lost his chance with her…she knew better than to take any of that too seriously. This was Ren.