Chapter 11
C ash finished sending the message to Dad.
A draft cooled his now-empty lap. Abbi was quiet next to him. A muscle flexed in his jaw. Heaven had surrounded him and his duties had faded away. For all of a minute.
His responsibilities rushed back. He had to check on Frankie, her cats, call his sister for details.
Abbi’s lush body curved into him. “I’m sorry.”
He draped an arm over her shoulders, her presence chasing away a few pounds of pressure. “Thanks.”
His parents had never apologized to him, but she had within minutes of seeing what it was like for him.
“Your mom’s found someone new?”
He dipped his head. The news wasn’t sitting well with him.
What had happened to his normal dysfunctional family?
Less than forty-eight hours ago, he’d learned his parents were divorcing and his mom had already moved in with someone.
His dad could be, too! Sissy was running off to the military, leaving just him, doing as she’d always done.
“Do you think Hannah knows?” she asked.
He didn’t even want to contemplate that. “No, and she’s going to go nuclear when she finds out.”
“What’s she going to do—run off and join the navy?”
Cash barked out a laugh. “Good point.”
Abbi slipped away from him and stood. She held out her hand. “But you know what? Your mom can tell her. It’s not your job.”
Easier said than done. Sissy just took bad information better from him. All those years Mom and Dad wouldn’t speak to each other, she’d turned to him. In a weird way, helping Sissy helped him process what was going on.
Abbi wiggled her fingers. His lips twitched into a smile. She was right. He clasped her hands and rose.
She looked up at him. “By the way, I’m taking you out to eat tonight.”
A grudging smile played on his lips. “Are you sure you don’t want to fish in the cold mud and have another fish fry?”
“I absolutely want to do that again. But it’s my turn to provide food.”
“Come on.” He dropped his tone low. “I’ve got some pussy waiting for me.”
Laughter bubbled from her. “I don’t doubt it. After being alone all night, Dutchie and Baron will rub all up and down you.”
They both swapped pussy jokes on the way out to his truck and to Frankie’s place, and the juvenile humor was just the levity he’d been looking for.
He let them inside Frankie’s tiny apartment.
He’d expected the cats to swarm them, but her apartment stayed quiet and the cats remained aloof.
Abbi went to check on them while he dished out the cat food.
She hadn’t come back into the kitchen yet.
If something happened to those furballs on his watch…
He went searching and found her looking at the pictures on the wall.
If he were honest, it was something he’d wanted to do the last time they were here.
“You look like her,” Abbi murmured.
He glanced at the picture of Holly on her graduation day. She was blond and blue-eyed, too. He looked and acted like his dad, and he shared his birth mom’s nose and smile.
“Yeah,” was all he said. Whenever he thought of Holly, he didn’t get angry or resentful. He brimmed with sadness, not for himself, but for a young woman who went through life so unhappy that she had to end it herself.
“I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Abbi touched his face.
His brows drew down. “Yeah. Why?”
“You seem sad. Do you ever wonder…?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think about it, honestly. She didn’t want me.” That came out harsher than intended. “Maybe she did and was too overwhelmed.” He shrugged. “She had problems.” That was as much as he ever let himself think about it.
“You feel sorry for her?”
He blew out a breath. “I do. But…” He swallowed.
God, was he really going to say this? “I wonder sometimes if my lack of emotion when it comes to my birth mother stems from not wanting to hurt Mom by thinking about her. So, I try to just hope that she found some peace in life, and I really do know that she did the best thing she could for me. Life with her would’ve been… turbulent.”
She cupped his face in both hands; he stared into her shimmering hazel eyes. “You have such a good heart for the people around you who’ve hurt you.”
Hurt him? “What do you mean?”
“You haven’t done a damn thing wrong, but all the adults in your life have swept you along in their personal drama. Yet you worry about them and care for them.” She brushed her lips against his.
When she pulled away, he expected her face to be full of sympathy, steeled himself for it, but her small smile was almost shy.
Keys jiggled in the front door. They both turned to face it, not knowing what to expect.
Frankie trudged in, wearing her black work shirt and black slacks. The clothing she’d worn to the hospital.
He rushed to her side. “You busted out. Why didn’t you call?”
She jumped, her hand flying to her heart. Dear lord, he wasn’t giving his grandma a heart attack, was he?
“Cash, hello. Oh, and Abbi.” She relaxed, her expression pleased. “I can see my darlings were well cared for. You didn’t have to stop by today, too.”
“We wanted to.” He guided her to a chair. “How’d you get home?”
“Called a cab.” Frankie settled into a chair with a sigh that said she didn’t want to move any time soon.
“Why the hell did you do that?” There was no heat in his words. Frankie was too damn independent and too intent not to intrude in Cash’s life, she would’ve never entertained the idea of asking him for help.
While Frankie got settled, Abbi went into the kitchen. Since they had a moment of privacy, he decided to make sure Frankie knew she’d never be intruding.
“Look, I told Mom and Dad that I see and talk to you regularly. So don’t worry that contacting me will upset anything. We’re family.”
Surprise flitted through her face and her eyes glistened. She patted his hand. “You’re such a good boy. I was so upset at myself for passing out Monday morning because it meant I missed my time with you.”
“Well, then,” he drawled, “we may have to implement a weekly dinner night.” He smirked at Abbi as she exited the kitchen with a glass of water for Frankie. “I hear I cook a mean fish fillet.”
Abbi handed the glass off to Frankie. His grandma seemed both pleased and uncomfortable with the attention.
“He mans a wicked grill, too.” Abbi sat on the couch, probably so it didn’t seem like they were hovering over her.
He sat next to her. “If you’re back at work next week, we’ll set a date.”
Frankie’s eyes softened the way Gram’s did when he and his cousins did something sweet.
It was the first time he’d compared Frankie to Gram.
Frankie was Frankie, technically his grandma, but she’d been at arm’s length for the last few years.
Almost nonexistent before that. Gram was the stereotypical grandmother.
She’d diapered him, chased after him, shamelessly spoiled him. He even lived in her old house.
Now, as the three of them chatted and talked about doctor’s orders and going back to work and the history of the fat cats roaming around and what plants did the best indoors, Frankie was more than his birth mom’s mom. She was his family.
They walked out of Frankie’s place to Cash’s truck. The cool autumn breeze wasn’t unpleasant and the sun was still warm enough to ward off the worst of the chill.
“Is it too early for supper?” Abbi had missed lunch but wanted to get to the dessert. She and Cash had grown closer; it wreaked havoc on her hormones. Had she ever wanted a man more than she wanted Cash?
Sure, she remembered brief glimpses of their first night together, but it was dulled from the haze of alcohol. But then it’d been all crazy attraction and finally letting herself run amok. Now, it was…more.
He sighed regretfully. “I might grab a bite, but I have some fences to mend before we move cattle.” He lifted a shoulder as if in apology. “The guys are planning to help me bring cattle in a couple of weeks, so I have to get everything ready.”
“I can still hang onto my promise of supper. Keep the door unlocked and I’ll bring groceries over and cook you something.” Her smile felt frozen in place. Was he going to refuse? She had zero desire to go back to her empty hotel room and sit around, ignoring Ellis’s texts and calls.
His eyes twinkled. “I can’t promise my oven works after a summer of grilling.” He helped her into the pickup, which was unnecessary, but she’d never complain about his hands on her. “How ’bout we stop and get groceries before we head back?”
She met his gaze. He was asking her to sleep over. The part of her that she’d allowed to have too much say in her life begged her to take things slower, to remember her life back home had been left hanging and that she had to be responsible.
But the other part of her said she’d be a wild idiot to miss out on spending quality time with him—in bed.
“Sounds good,” she said.
He jogged around to hop in the driver’s seat.
She enjoyed riding around in his pickup with him.
He waved to damn near everyone and drove in the easy, relaxed manner he did everything else in.
No constant worry or speculation about his future and where he was going and if he was going to hit the next promotion milestone within his five-year plan.
No tightness in his shoulders, no fretting over where to park or worrying about unwanted door dings and scrapes.
Cash parked on the far end of the grocery lot where it was sparse, his big truck taking up two spaces.
They strode into the store next to each other and she was peppering him with questions about how he liked his meatloaf.
A couple of girls passed them, giggling and greeting Cash.
She glanced at him. His good humor didn’t reach his eyes.
He was being polite, that was all. After they were clear, his expression was pinched.
“It’s okay, you know,” she said.
“What’s okay?”
“That a lot of girls know you.”
He gave her tight smile. “It’s one thing when it’s in the past and forgotten. It’s different when you’re around someone and you care what they think about the past striding by all but announcing how we know each other.”
Would now be a bad time to fist pump in the air?
She wasn’t like the others to him and he’d come close to admitting it.
“Say I was your girlfriend; I wouldn’t be jealous of your history.
I’d be glad you settled down when you knew it was right and not when your family or society dictated it was.
And I’d be even more pleased with it if you treated them right when you were with them. ”
His gaze darkened. “They were nothing but hookups. That’s not treating anyone right.”
She threaded her hand through his. Her girlfriend statement had opened a well of longing she didn’t want to face alone. Being Ellis’s girlfriend had taxed her mentally. A girl got tired of never being good enough, of always being judged. Being with Cash was the opposite.
She squeezed his hand as she steered him to the meat department. “If you had made a bunch of promises you had no intention of keeping, then I’d agree. Otherwise, it was you and another adult and a mutual agreement on a temporary transaction.”
He chuckled. “That your fancy way of saying ‘hookup’?”
“Yes. If your previous partners had grand ideas of a ring and wedding dress, but you didn’t lead them on, that’s not your fault.” She towed him to the hamburger display.
He shook his head, his mouth turned down. “Oh, honey. You’re not asking a rancher to buy hamburger at the grocery store are you?”
“Umm… I was going to buy it.”
“Nope.” He led her away. An older man approached and stopped to chat with him.
Cash just introduced her by name, but didn’t release her hand. He was a private man, not showy, but not hiding from others either. Her respect for him grew. The two men talked shop for a while, then they finished their trip.
With an armload of groceries, Cash loaded her and the bags up and drove back to his farm.
This was her vacation and she only had a week left. But she could get used to this every day of her life.
Abbi threw the pan in the oven and set it for an hour.
She peered out the kitchen window toward the barn where she caught glimpses of Cash repairing the corrals that held his cows all winter.
He was wearing his tan jacket and boots.
His rugged jeans fit well enough to be catalogue ready, but as always, he wore a baseball cap.
Was the hat his farmer side expressing itself?
When Perry had talked about his ranching buddy, Reno, she’d expected a swaggering cowboy, much like Cash, only with a cowboy hat.
In so many ways, he defied her expectations.
She grinned to herself and butterflies took flight in her stomach. Pushing away from the window, she looked around. What was she going to do for an hour that didn’t include following Cash around like a lovesick puppy?
The inside of the house could use some TLC.
It’s not that it wasn’t cared for, it was just obvious he was a one-man show and everything outside the house was his priority.
A light layer of dust lined the shelves, and the rugs could use a beating after the summer season, but she wasn’t going to clean for him.
One, it was her vacation and Ellis was probably enjoying her absence because he didn’t have to chase her with a tidy list of atrocities she’d committed.
And two, it was rude to be a guest in someone’s home and clean like they weren’t grown-ass adults who could do it themselves.
But boredom was setting in with fifty-five minutes to go.
She located her bag and withdrew her sketch pad. When she’d first arrived, she’d coveted the huge porch as a divine place to sit and sketch. Shrugging into a sweater, she figured out the time she had to draw before she had to finish supper and stepped outside.
An old porch swing creaked under her weight but felt sturdy enough. She curled one leg under herself and used her other foot on the ground to gently rock the swing.
The breeze sharpened with a chill now that the day was coming to an end, but Abbi wasn’t rushing inside. She studied her surroundings. A long barn. Another big shed. Pastures dotted with cattle in the distance.
What should she draw?
A mew caught her attention. A gray and white tabby cat slinked toward her. The cat swiped itself along her leg. She giggled. A farm kitty, and a tame one at that. It’d been a huge challenge to catch cats at her grandparents’ place, but Cash must give this little girl some lovin’.
The cat found a fading sun patch and curled into a ball like she owned the place.
It seemed Cash had a major soft spot for creatures. Abbi started drawing.