Chapter 12 #2
The Nicholses were filling in for the Hills who were on a two-week holiday, paid for by the master and mistress to thank them for years of faithful service to the Bennets.
All of the servants on the estates owned by the Bennets would have a feast on Boxing Day with tables set up in the new Longbourn ball room.
The Bennets had hired fill-ins for Boxing Day so that those who were regular staff could fully enjoy the day.
The tenants of all three estates would be hosted for a luncheon where they would receive baskets tailored for each family and two guineas in each.
There would be entertainment for the children, and after the tenants were done with the revelry, the fill-in servants would clean and reset the ball room for the servant’s dinner feast. As a surprise to the servants, Bennet hired the musicians that usually provided the music at the monthly assembly in Meryton, so there would be dancing after the meal.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
Charles Bingley was starting to rethink the wisdom of coming home for the Christmas break as his mother and sisters, especially Caroline, would not stop hounding him for details about his friends from Eton, most especially the Darcy and Fitzwilliam families that he had met during the long weekend in London.
All three were in a frenzy that he had met an Earl and his Countess, one of their sons, and their Lady daughter.
If Caroline were able to change colour, she would have been a deep green given how jealous she was.
No matter how many times that Charles told Caroline that unless an invitation specifically listed her name, she was not included and that no family of the Ton would invite a girl who was not out unless it was with her whole family, Caroline would not desist demanding that it was her right to be included whenever he was invited to visit his friends.
Eventually Charles just ignored her ranting and any time other than meals was spent either with his father or on a horse where he would ride to visit Graham Phillips or William Bennet.
He corresponded with Darcy and Fitzwilliam from time to time and told the temporary butler just as he had Mr Nichols that no one but him was to receive any post with his name.
If he was not home when post arrived which was addressed to him, then it was to be placed on his father’s desk.
Charles knew that after Caroline was caught by her father rifling through his desk, he had confined her to her chamber for a week as punishment, and she had only received the same meals as that of the servants.
If she were ever to enter Mr Bingleys study unbidden again, she would lose her pin money for a full year.
Since that day, Caroline had not gone anywhere near the master’s study unless called in for reprimands.
What Charles had not told anyone but his father, was that Darcy had just written to accept his invitation to spend the Easter break with him at Netherfield.
At first, Fitzwilliam Darcy had politely refused as they always spent Easter together as a family, but for some reason Darcy had changed his mind and accepted.
He had taken extreme care to warn his friend what to expect when he visited, especially from his younger sister.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
William knew that it was a mistake the instant he sent the letter to Bingley accepting the invitation to spend Easter with him and his family.
Uncle Reggie had told the family that they were starting a new tradition of spending Easter at Rosings Park.
William could see that he had disappointed his parents when he told them that he had accepted an invitation to a friend's house.
After he had made the rash decision, something out of character for him to do normally, he had withdrawn into himself even further.
On Christmas day he started to question the wisdom of his choices.
He missed the past few Christmases where he had long discussions with Lizzy about some authors that wrote Christmas stories.
He had tried to approach Lizzy in the morning and his heart had twisted when he saw how hurt she was as she met his eyes then she had changed direction so that their paths would not cross.
Andrew and Richard were being decidedly cool to him, and after his refusal to confide in either of his parents he could see that their patience with him was wearing thin.
He was starting to understand that he had made some extremely poor decisions and that he was now suffering the consequences of his own foolishness.
Despite the change in William’s behaviour toward her, Lizzy was determined to try and have fun with her brothers and other cousins. However, like William, she was stubborn and put up a shield to protect herself from being freshly hurt by her cousin’s inexplicable behaviour.
After the family returned from services Christmas morning, Elaine Fitzwilliam asked her daughter to accompany her to the sitting room attached to the suite that she and Lizzy’s papa occupied when at Pemberley.
Once they were seated on the settee, Elaine took her daughter’s small hand in hers.
“Elizabeth, is William still not spending any time with you?”
It seemed that the asking of that simple questions opened the floodgates as her daughter burst into tears.
It broke her mother’s heart to hear wracking sobs from her little girl.
She could count on the fingers of one hand the times that Lizzy had cried for a reason other than getting hurt over the last six plus years as she was naturally a happy child.
Elaine hugged her daughter close as she allowed her the time she needed to cry.
Eventually the sobs subsided, and Lizzy cried silently, and in a few more minutes the crying ceased, and the mother helped her daughter dry her eyes.
“I-I do n-not k-know w-w-why, Mama,” Lizzy managed, then she took a deep breath and calmed herself, “After we spoke before Christmas with Aunt Anne, I tried to be brave Mama, but it hurts so much, I feel like William is discarding me in a way.”
The last statement shocked Elaine and gave her a window into the depths of her daughter’s suffering, that she was feeling his rejection keenly and no one knew why.
William had refused to say anything to his parents, even going as far as to tell some untruths.
Elaine summoned her lady’s maid to stay with Lizzy.
She sought out her husband and found him sitting in the vast Pemberley library, reading the latest broadsheets that had arrived from London the week prior to Christmas.
After relating how hurt Lizzy was, she suggested that it was time for them to return to Snowhaven, and the Earl did not disagree.
Their next task would be harder. Reggie pulled the bell that summoned the butler, asking that he request that the master and mistress join them in the library.
It was not above ten minutes that Anne and George Darcy entered to join them.
After the door was closed, Reggie broke the news that the Fitzwilliams would not be staying any longer and they explained why.
The two Darcys were at a loss. They had no doubt that William loved his cousin but could not explain his behaviour which was so abnormal for him.
They did say that they would be having a very serious talk with their son after their relations departed.
William was descending from his room when he saw a line of footmen carrying his family’s trunks down toward the entrance of the house.
His knees went weak, and he got a terrible feeling in his stomach, sure as he could be that his behaviour was the cause for the early departure.
He steadied himself and slowly descended the steps.
If he had any doubt that he was the cause for the Fitzwilliam’s departure, they were erased when he saw the thunderous looks that Lizzy’s brothers were shooting his way.
Richard took a step toward him in a threatening manner only to be stopped by Andrew, who whispered something to his brother.
His aunt and uncle gave him a perfunctory goodbye; Andrew, Richard, Anne, and Lizzy just turned and walked to the waiting carriages and took their seats, never looking back at William. William was still rooted to the same spot when a crying Georgiana entered the house ahead of her parents.
“I am alone now because of you!” she said as she ran into her governess' arms as her tears increased.
His parents walked into the entrance hall as he was watching his sister and without a word, his father raised his arm and pointed at the door of his study.
William walked toward the study feeling like a condemned man being led to the gallows.
He had no doubt that he would not have the luxury of keeping his confidence any longer.
“Do you have any idea how much you have hurt your cousin?” his father thundered.
William hung his head in shame. He had not meant any of this, he was just trying to protect…
who was it he was trying to protect? “Until I saw your performance since the Fitzwilliams’ arrived I had thought that you were maturing nicely, but the behaviour you have exhibited is not that which reflects maturity! ”
“William, you know how much Lizzy is loved by her parents and brothers and that they will not stand by and allow anyone to hurt her, do you not?” Lady Anne asked gently.
William, still looking at the floor, nodded dejectedly.
“Do you know that Lizzy feels like you have discarded her, just like she was six years ago?” Hearing this tore William’s heart apart and tears started to fall from his eyes.
‘What a mess I have made!’ he remonstrated himself.
“Not many days ago I asked you what was causing your behaviour toward my niece, and I am now sure that you were not honest with me. Did you tell me the truth, son?” George Darcy asked in a calmer voice, nodding when William shook his head.
“Then what on earth has caused you to behave in such an abominable way toward Lizzy, a seven-year-old girl, William?” George Darcy asked.
As much as it mortified him to do so, William related his internal struggle to his parents.
When he was done, they were mostly relieved as they could understand why their son had behaved as such, not understanding that there was more than one type of attraction to the opposite sex, even though they knew that he had not come close to doing the right thing.
“William,” his mother drew his attention, “have you ever done anything to dishonour Lizzy? Was there ever a time, even for a moment, when you considered acting on your thoughts?” William shook his head emphatically.
“William, my son, I love you dearly, but you are too stubborn by half. Had you come to your father or me before you decided that you needed to create distance between yourself and Lizzy to protect her, we would have explained to you that what you have is an infatuation, and from what we can tell it is one of the mind, not the body, a perfectly harmless thing that we all experience at some time. You have almost caused an estrangement in the family.” William blanched as his mother’s words hung in the air.
Seeing his son’s curious look, he related information that he had never shared with his son before: “My first infatuation was for my father’s steward’s daughter, who was five years my senior,” seeing that William was about to interject and guessing the gist of what he would say, his father held up his hand to stay him.
“You were about to say that Lizzie is but seven, were you not?” William nodded.
“Think about your interactions with her. How many seven-year-olds have you debated Plato with, can recite anything that she had read, who is so intelligent?”
“Not one,” William owned.
“It is her intellect that captured you, not her age or her body,” his mother took up the explanation.
“None of us know what the future will hold and who knows if either of you will be interested in the other after Lizzy comes out eleven years from now, but you have nothing to be ashamed of, William. What you feel for Lizzy is but one element that would be needed if the two of you are to become more than cousins, many years from now.”
“There was no need to protect her as you had thoughts and an intellectual connection, nothing more,” his father assured him.
“But yes, it all gets confusing for a year or three. As you get older, you will be able to discern the different kinds of attractions that you will have, and the most important thing will be that you do not act on base instincts to anyone, regardless of station. No one can convict you for your thoughts son, only your actions.” He was nodding when William sat down on the settee next to his mother and she put her arms around him.
William processed what his parents had said and after a few minutes he realised they were as correct as always, and it didn’t take too long to see just how much he had erred.
He felt a sense of relief as the shame he had felt lifted; for the first time he was able to acknowledge that his thoughts for Lizzy had never been inappropriate in nature.
He also learned a most valuable lesson; he did not have all the answers and there were times when he needed to canvass the opinions of others.
“How am I to fix this mess I made?” William asked his parents.
“Yes William,” his mother said with a half-smile, “a mess you did make, but now that you understand what you did and the unintended consequences that were caused, what do you think that you need to do?”
“I need to ride to Snowhaven and apologise!” Both of his parents nodded.
“Allow them a few days to cool down. William and I will send a note to Elaine with a brief explanation, for I fear if you arrived on their doorstep on the morrow, one of your cousins may shoot you on sight!”
William knew that he had a lot of fences to mend, and that he would have to grovel if need be to get Lizzy to forgive him.
He was about to leave the study when he remembered the letter he wrote to Bingley.
His parents told him that he could not rescind his acceptance without a good reason, so part of his penance would be having to live with Bingley’s sisters for a fortnight.
William owned that would be a fitting punishment for his unpardonable behaviour.