Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
AUDREY
Audrey was trying not to overthink it. She was the spontaneous one amongst her friends and colleagues, quick to jump on trends and act without a second thought, but sitting in the car with her longtime crush had her re-evaluating all her life decisions.
Was her Spotify playlist too preppy? Was that one jazz, but also pop, song a little too weird? God, was it weird that the singer was crooning about falling in love? When they were about to go on a date?
Audrey hoped it was a date, or at least that Brianna had thought it was one.
It wasn’t that she preferred to be ambiguous and mysterious; she was just worried if she did say it aloud, Brianna would confirm this was purely platonic and that she was only looking for friendship.
The way she looked at Audrey, though, did not scream friendship…
but Audrey couldn’t let herself dwell on that.
She didn’t dare get her hopes up, having been on slightly too many hang outs she had thought were going somewhere when they weren’t.
It was not hard to do in a friendly town.
She had, unfortunately, kissed many a hot girl at parties in university, only to be told it was a fun party thing, not something the women usually did.
She thought that was a stereotype until it happened to her.
Lost in their thoughts, the rest of their car ride to the restaurant was silent but not awkward, calm. When they arrived at the restaurant, Audrey leaned back to grab Brianna’s jacket for her. Their hands brushed as Brianna took it, and Audrey was sure she felt sparks.
They walked into the restaurant close together as Brianna recounted the praise she had heard from her coworkers about the broccoli appetizer, of all things.
Inside, the restaurant lighting definitely gave the ambiance of a date.
It seemed to be occupied with a fair number of people, mostly couples, but not overcrowded.
Their table had a fake candle in the centre of it, and when the waitstaff finally left after their brief introductions, Audrey noticed it perfectly highlighted Brianna’s smile.
Brianna opened the menu and began to read it carefully.
“How about you order for us?” Audrey suggested.
She would rather study the woman in front of her than their dining options, and she was rather indifferent about it.
Brianna could tell her she wanted to go fishing for their meal, and Audrey would’ve agreed, if only to keep spending more time with her.
“Sure, we can share the dishes. Any dietary restrictions? Oh gosh, I should’ve asked you before we came all this way. We should’ve checked the menu, just in case. I’m so sorry—”
Audrey cut her off with a wave of her hand. Brianna really did have a penchant for overexplaining that Audrey was finding both endearing and curious.
“I don’t have any dietary restrictions, and if I did, I would’ve checked the menu myself. I suggested this restaurant; it’s okay. You don’t have to think about everyone else all the time. I’m an adult. I can speak up for myself.”
“You’re right… I don’t know why I do that,” Brianna said, smiling in a self-pitying way. She put down her menu and reached for the glass of water the waiter had filled for them earlier.
“Maybe you care too much?” Audrey offered.
“Probably. I’ve never been accused of being nonchalant or normal about anything.”
“It’s okay, you can be chalant. I can be nonchalant enough for the two of us.”
Brianna laughed. “Deal. You can be chalant. I’m going to start saying that.”
“Hey! That’s my thing,” Audrey teased, but it was without bite. Brianna could say whatever she wanted, and Audrey would gladly agree.
They were still smiling at each other when another couple was seated at the next table to their right, and Audrey briefly turned to glance at the interruption.
It wasn’t a tight space by any means, but any new sight drew her eye, and she stared in horror as she realized the couple to her right was her brother and his date.
He was seated diagonally from her, next to Brianna if they combined their tables from two metres away.
Please don’t let him see us, please don’t let him see us, she willed the universe, turning back to her forgotten menu.
“Oh, did you—” Brianna started asking Audrey, only to be interrupted by a voice from the next table over.
“Brianna!” Nathan’s jovial voice called out at a volume far too loud for this fancy restaurant. He was so embarrassing. Audrey wished a portal would open underneath their feet now and whisk them away. Oh, how she wished they were actually fishing now. Anything but here.
“Nathan!” Brianna exclaimed back at him, at a much lower volume.
Audrey looked up from the menu to meet her brother’s questioning gaze.
She really hoped he would not embarrass her.
“Audrey!” he said, pointing at her.
“Yes, that’s me,” she said. He was such a dunce cap sometimes.
“You’re here.”
“What a fine level of observation you have. I wonder why you never got your PhD with that brain of yours,” Audrey said.
Nathan laughed, and Brianna joined in a moment later.
Perhaps she was waiting to see whether Nathan would be offended by the obvious insult.
Audrey wished, but Nathan rolled every insult off his back.
It was their thing, as siblings, and Audrey was suddenly praying Nathan would not choose to retaliate right now.
She should’ve acted like a perfect angel instead.
“Sorry, Grace.” Nathan turned back to his date, who was likely confused. Audrey smiled awkwardly at her, not recognizing her at all. It wasn’t that surprising, as Nathan very rarely introduced anyone to their family; it would have to be pretty serious for Audrey to have met her.
“Audrey is my sister,” he continued, nodding at Audrey. “And Brianna’s my best friend,” he concluded with a gesture to his right. Brianna gave a light wave to Grace.
“Oh, how nice,” Grace said. It didn’t take a genius to see she was relieved upon hearing Audrey was his sister, but a little less so about hearing his best friend was Brianna.
Some women tended to be weird about the whole best-friend-of-the-opposite-gender thing, and Audrey really hoped Grace didn’t turn out to be one of those people.
“So, what are you doing here?” Nathan asked Brianna.
Audrey didn’t blame him, as he would be barking up the wrong tree in trying to talk to her right now.
“Dinner,” Audrey interrupted.
“Thanks, Mrs. Smartypants. I would’ve never guessed,” Nathan teased back, clearly mocking her.
“Perhaps we should let them get back to their meal…” Grace said to Nathan in a not-so-subtle whisper.
“You’re right. Sorry,” Nathan said to Brianna, in what seemed to be a deliberate exclusion of Audrey. Typical.
“It’s alright,” Brianna said, ever the peacemaker.
The rest of the dinner proceeded calmly, as Audrey did her best to ignore her brother. She managed to successfully tune out his conversation, but the date-like vibe she had wanted to have was gone.
At least the food was delicious, and when the bill came, Audrey paid.
She and Brianna argued about it for a little bit—not in anger, but in that way when you try to out-nice one another.
It was finally resolved when Brianna agreed to get it the next time, which only resulted in Audrey smiling at her like a fool.
Despite the interruption to her psyche in the form of her brother telling her he’d see her later at family dinner during the week, Audrey was still smiling as she followed Brianna out of the restaurant.
“The food was delicious. Please thank your coworkers for the recommendation,” Audrey said as they stood outside the restaurant. While they had driven there together, perhaps Brianna would want to split up here? Audrey wasn’t sure what the proper etiquette was.
“I definitely will. Thank you for inviting me. It was lovely,” Brianna said. Her breath fogged in front of her as she talked, and Audrey had to resist the urge to pull up her hood for her so she wouldn’t get colder.
“Would you like a ride home?” Audrey finally asked.
“Yes, please…if you don’t mind,” Brianna said.
“Of course I don’t mind. Why would I offer, only to take it back?”
Brianna chuckled at that. “I guess you’re right. One ride home, then.”
“You got it,” Audrey said and led the way back to her parked car.
They sat in the car for a few moments with their parkas still on, waiting for the car to heat up.
“Sorry, this thing takes a while,” Audrey said.
“It’s okay. At least now, we can talk without Nathan overhearing. Not that there is anything to overhear, I guess…” Brianna trailed off.
“I know. It was weird that he was there. I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for. This is a small town.”
“You’re right.” Audrey sighed. “What should I tell him if he asks me about it?”
“Hmm. I’d ask if he’d care, but this is Nathan we’re talking about. He basically threw a tantrum when I moved back here and didn’t tell him.”
Audrey gasped. “You didn’t tell your best friend that you were moving back to town?”
Brianna laughed, removing her glasses. She did that a lot, it seemed, but Audrey wasn’t sure why. “I wasn’t sure who to tell. It was both a spontaneous and un-spontaneous decision. To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about it yet.”
“I guess that’s fair. Change is hard.”
“Yes, especially coming back here.” Brianna said it in a loaded way, and Audrey wasn’t sure how to decipher it, so she decided to leave it for a moment, now that the car had finally warmed up.
“Pass me your jacket, and we can get going,” Audrey offered. Brianna put her glasses back on and followed Audrey’s instructions, letting the younger woman throw both of their winter paraphernalia into the backseat.
When Audrey finally started driving, she heard Brianna exhale loudly again.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Audrey asked. “We still have a few minutes to go, and I’m all ears.”
“Sorry. I just get lost in thought sometimes.”
“You seem to do that a lot,” Audrey noted.
“Think?”
Audrey laughed. “That too. But I meant apologizing. It’s like you’re apologizing for every thought you have. You also overexplain quite a bit.”
Brianna seemed to pause for a moment, digesting the observation. “Oh God, I do, don’t I?”
“Yes, but it’s okay. I don’t mean it as a good or bad thing. It’s just…curious.”
“Right,” Brianna sighed. “Maybe I do need to go to therapy. I have so much childhood trauma, I’m sure. And being back isn’t helping.”
“Hear, hear,” Audrey said. Brianna smiled at that.
“Well, I’m here if you ever want someone to talk to. I think I have my own fair share of Beaver Creek trauma to share if you want someone to commiserate with,” Audrey continued.
“Sure. That would be nice.”
The rest of the car ride passed in the familiar silence they had on their ride over to the restaurant.
Audrey would normally try to fill the silence, try to think of something interesting or witty to say to keep the conversation going, but with Brianna, she was content to just be in her presence.
She didn’t feel obligated to be her fake, upbeat self, the kind she put on for her colleagues and online.
She just felt like being herself, and that feeling was getting rarer and rarer these days.
When they finally pulled into the parking lot of Brianna’s apartment, Audrey pulled up right to the entrance.
Brianna turned to Audrey and smiled. “Thank you for the lovely day. I had fun. I always love chatting about books and trying new places.”
“You’re welcome, and thank you too. It was nice,” Audrey said.
The way Brianna was looking at her seemed so shy, and Audrey would’ve loved to be in her brain in that moment, just to know what she was thinking.
She seemed to hesitate for a moment before pulling the door open and stepping out.
With a quick slam of the door and a grab of her things from the backseat, Brianna was waving goodbye to Audrey and yelling at her to text when she got home before Audrey could think of anything else.
Trying not to feel too disappointed, Audrey put on her comfort playlist for the ride home. Thankfully, her parents were just watching TV in the living room, as they did most nights, so they did not interrogate her too much as she went up the stairs to her room.
Inside her room, Audrey finally grabbed her phone to text Brianna.
Just got home
Thank you again. It was nice to get to know you better
There, that was a neutral thing to say, without any other meaning. Brianna hearted the message, and Audrey had to remind herself this was a thing even friends did.
Yay, thanks for inviting me!
I had lots of fun too
Audrey hearted Brianna’s last message back and tried not to overthink things. As much as she did have fun with Brianna, she did not want it to be another thing she did with a friend. She wanted it to mean something, whatever that could be.
You never did answer my question
About what I should tell Nathan
It wasn’t like her to pressure anyone, but Audrey was dying to know what Brianna would say in response.
She had deflected the question earlier—not deliberately, but Audrey wanted to know it wasn’t all in her head, that whatever she was feeling was anything.
Something. She would take whatever crumb she could get.
You probably know what’s appropriate for you to tell him
Oh. Audrey’s heart sank when she read the message. As she let the words digest, she saw three little dots pop up as Brianna seemingly began to type and then stop. It took a minute or two, but finally, Audrey received another message.
I will tell him it’s none of his business about who I go on dates with
Audrey had to play it cool, but she was being the opposite of that right now. For all her talk of being chalant earlier, she was the exact opposite.
I will do the same