28. Josie #2
I close my eyes for a moment as I remember just how hot it was. I didn’t know it was possible for a kiss to leave me still wanting more, but Tyson’s lips against mine did just that. “So hot. The hottest. I’ve never had another kiss that could even remotely compare.”
“Imagine how hot the sex will be, then.” She says the sentence so effortlessly, as if she doesn’t care in the slightest that she isn’t alone in the car.
My eyes flutter shut for a moment because even though I’m trying not to, it’s hard not to picture having sex with Tyson.
With the way he kisses—and the way he effortlessly says the sexiest things that leave me clenching my thighs—I’m sure he’s great in bed.
“I shouldn’t be imagining that,” I tell Scarlett with a groan.
“Why not?”
“Because I need to work, Scar. I was told my book sucks, and I’m just finding my footing with my rewrites. I can’t get so swept up in Tyson that I don’t meet this new deadline.”
Scarlett rolls her eyes as if my words are ridiculous. “Yeah, you’re finding your footing because he’s making you horny, and that makes you a better writer.”
“Scarlett!” I yell, covering the phone with my hand and looking over my shoulder as if someone will overhear her words.
No one does. I’m alone—except for Mouse, who stares at me from his perch by the window—but her words don’t make me flush any less.
Even if I’m alone, she isn’t. “You can’t say things like that. ”
“Yes, I can. I’m right, and you know it.”
I shift my position on the couch as I think about her point.
She’s pointing out things I kind of already knew.
I’m inspired because of Tyson. Something about him has brought back my writing spark.
It might be because he does make me horny, but it’s more than that.
He gives me butterflies in a way I’ve never felt before.
He’s inspiring me, and I don’t want to stop seeing him.
I just need to make sure I find a balance between getting to know him and allowing him to make me feel things I’m not used to feeling, while also still making sure I don’t get behind on my deadline.
“Your silence tells me you know I’m right,” Scarlett points out, her tone very matter-of-fact.
I roll my eyes. “Yes, you’re right. Is that what you want to hear?”
Scarlett laughs as she emphatically nods her head. “Yes, it is. Talk dirty to me, Jo.”
Her comment makes me laugh as I shake my head at my best friend. You really never know what’s going to come out of her mouth.
“I still don’t want to spend too much time with him and miss this deadline,” I tell her with a defeated sigh.
I don’t want to get so swept up in the giddiness of finding a new connection with someone that I completely drop the ball on writing this book.
I not only want to rework this book, but I want to make it epic.
I want it to be my best work yet, and to do that, I think I need to figure out a delicate balance between allowing Tyson to inspire me while also making sure I take the time to actually write.
“Can I say something that might hurt your feelings?” Scarlett asks, her voice gentler than I’m used to hearing from her.
I frown but nod my head. “I’m shocked you even asked. Normally, you just say exactly what you’re thinking.”
“Well, I don’t want to upset you.”
My stomach tightens slightly because Scarlett’s never really been wary about what she says to me. She’s blunt, and I love that about her. But the fact that she’s being considerate enough to ask me if she can say whatever she’s about to say has me feeling uneasy.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been mad at you,” I point out.
“You like boring men,” she blurts. “The guys you’ve gone for since we’ve met have been boring and safe.
You like to pretend they’re fun and what you want because you like to imagine you’re living this fairy tale, but you’re not.
Deep down, you know they’re boring. You like boring because boring can’t hurt you. ”
I frown as I process her words. The more I look back at the men I’ve dated, I can see that she has a point, but I don’t know how I feel about her saying I’ve liked that because I don’t want to get hurt. “Eli was fun in the beginning,” I point out.
She scoffs before dramatically making a gagging noise. “No, he wasn’t. You were just swept up in the relationship. He wasn’t fun. But you liked him because you didn’t care enough about him for him to really hurt you.”
My jaw pops open. “Scarlett,” I scold. I now understand why she was scared of saying this to me. Her words are a bit harsh.
She gives me an apologetic shrug through the phone screen. “Tyson isn’t boring, and that’s what scares you. I think you could see yourself actually caring about him, and that makes you hesitant.”
“No, I’m just busy right now. I can’t start a new relationship—not that that’s what it’d even be, because we just met—while I’m supposed to be finishing a book.”
Scarlett rolls her eyes. “Then don’t start anything serious with him, but let yourself have fun and figure out the rest later once this book is done. He’s inspiring you. Let him. Maybe he’ll actually show you what good sex is like.”
“I’ve had good sex,” I argue, but the moment the words leave my mouth, they don’t feel right. Sure, I’ve had sex that was okay. But I’ve never had sex that made me feel as good as just kissing Tyson felt.
“Maybe we should circle back to this conversation when you’re ready for it.
” She pauses for a moment before pursing her lips as her eyes light up.
“Actually, we’ll circle back to this when you’ve had sex with Tyson.
And then I’ll say ‘I told you so’ because you’ll realize what good, passionate sex actually is. ”
I groan as I slide down the couch a little.
I’m trying to forget the fact that Scarlett is saying all of this in front of her driver.
If we circle back to this conversation again—which…
I’m not sure if I want to or not—I’m going to make sure it’s in person and there’s no one around but us two so she can’t embarrass me.
“I want to have sex with him,” I finally get out.
“Trust me. He had me feeling things from just a kiss I wasn’t expecting to feel. But again, I have to finish this book.”
“Wasn’t the thing that was lacking in your book the chemistry? The passion?” she asks, her words almost cutting me off.
“Way to rub salt in the wound.”
Scarlett sits up as her lips spread into a smile.
“No, I think I’m onto something. You’ve talked about him inspiring you already.
He’s helping you write a better book, because even if it’s early, he’s making you feel things that are new and exciting.
He’s making you feel passion…maybe you should be asking him for more. ”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I think you should fuck him, Jo.”
I sputter as I almost choke on my own spit. Her bluntness is something I’m used to, but somehow, she still manages to catch me off guard.
“After the book’s done, maybe,” I manage to get out. My words don’t come out very strong because I might be lying by saying them. I don’t know if I want to wait that long to experience him.
I don’t know if I can wait, even if I wanted to. The connection with him is just that strong.
“No, while you’re writing. I promise, you sleep with him, and you’re going to be writing the hottest, most passionate book you’ve ever written.
If it were me, I’d think of some hot things I want to write about and have him do them with you.
That way, when you describe them on the page, they’re extra hot.
” She winks at the camera, and my entire face heats again.
“We’re two minutes out, Ms. Astor,” the driver says from out of view.
I close my eyes for a moment. I’m so happy her driver for the day now knows all about my boring taste in men and my need to apparently step up my boring sex life as well.
“On that note,” I begin, my eyes still squeezed shut as I try to pretend that this conversation with my best friend didn’t have another witness. “I’m going to get back to writing.”
Scarlett has the nerve to laugh as she acts like it isn’t a big deal at all that someone else heard her side of this entire conversation. “Think about it. I really think I’m onto something.”
I shake my head as I finally open my eyes again. I find my best friend beaming back at me, completely unbothered. “Goodbye, Scarlett.”
She blows the phone a kiss. “Love you!”
“Love you too,” I mutter as I hang up the phone and toss it to the side.
I stare at the intricate wallpaper on the living room wall as I think about what Scarlett said. I gloss over her pointing out I like boring men that can’t hurt me, because she’s wrong, but there’s something about her idea with Tyson that I can’t stop thinking about.
I don’t want to admit this to her…but maybe she’s right.
Maybe I need to have better sex.
Maybe I need to try more with sex.
Maybe that’ll make this book have more passion.
Maybe I need Tyson.
I shoot off the couch as a plan forms in my head.