Chapter 17 #2
I barked a laugh. “There was nothing free about it. The compound was a religious cult, a Mormon offshoot that still followed the old doctrines. They believed their leader was the one true prophet of God, as his father had been before him, and his father’s father, and so on for over a hundred years, when God had told them to shun the modern world and associate only with each other.
Only the highest church leaders had cars or phones.
No television or radio. No jeans or skirts above the ankle for women.
We dressed like it was still 1880.” I paused.
“We were homeschooled until we were thirteen. Basic math, reading and writing, and the scriptures. Nothing about science or history. I had never heard of dinosaurs. Or Canada.”
“How is that even possible?” She shook her head like she couldn’t fathom it. “And then you joined the military? That must have been such a shock.”
“By then I had already been out for a few years. The structure and discipline that the military offered was actually a relief. It felt familiar.”
“So your parents left the compound? Your family isn’t there anymore?”
I paused. This was the ugly part. “My parents are still there. I didn’t leave willingly.
I was banished at fourteen.” You have sinned, Jeremiah.
You are hereby banished for your earthly life, so that your stain does not besmirch us all.
I could still see my father’s face as he spoke the words.
“My father dropped me off at a church in a town three hours from home in the middle of the night and told me someone would get me in the morning.”
“Banished. At fourteen.” Her eyes pleaded softly, like she was hoping I’d take it back. “You were only a child.”
“At fourteen, I was considered a man. That was the problem. According to church doctrine, polygamy was a requirement to enter heaven. But the compound was insular. Few left, and no one new came in. Hard to promise every man three wives when the birthrate is pretty close to a fifty-fifty split between the sexes. They had to thin the herd.” I lifted a shoulder.
“So, what, they could keep all the women to themselves? That’s disgusting.”
“According to my father, the reason for my banishment was that I committed the sin of masturbation. I think that was bullshit, though. It only happened once, nearly a year before they sent me away.” I still had the scars from that lesson.
My breath hitched. Why had I told her that? I had never shared it with anyone, not even my foster parents. The shame of it weighed on me even now, even knowing that the shame shouldn’t have been mine to bear.
Her hand tightened on the reins enough that Indigo tossed his head in annoyance. “Loosen your hold on him,” I told her. “He can feel all your emotions.”
“Oh.” She relaxed her hand and gave him a brisk pat on the neck.
“Sorry, big guy. I’m just so mad. I don’t know which is worse, tossing you out because you were their competition, or banishing you for masturbation.
Honestly,” she huffed, her eyes narrowed to furious slits.
“I’d like to smack them in their sanctimonious faces with a purple dildo. ”
That startled a laugh right out of me. “Why purple?”
“For whatever reason, most sex toys seem to be purple. And it’s my favorite color.” Her gaze shifted from me to the mountains and back again. It wasn’t hard to meet her eyes. She made it easy for me. There wasn’t a lick of judgment there. “Can I take your picture?”
“What?” I startled, straightening in the saddle. “Why?”
“Why?” she repeated, laughing. “Why? Look around you, Jeremiah. The flowers, the mountains, the blue Wyoming sky. And you in the middle of it all, looking like the whole reason anyone crossed the Mississippi River in the first place.”
I didn’t know what to do with my hands when she said shit like that. I didn’t know what to do with my face when she looked at me like she was remembering what my mouth felt like.
“It’s not hard to cross the river, Lennon. There are bridges now, you know.”
“Just sit there and look pretty, cowboy. Here, you need your hat for the photo.” She circled Indigo closer.
And then she paused with her hand on my hat and looked at me.
“I don’t take it lightly, what you shared with me.
I know I sounded flippant. I don’t mean to.
I don’t really know what to say to all this, except…
well, I think you’re incredible, Jeremiah. ”
In the split second between her removing the hat from her head and putting it on mine, I suddenly knew exactly what to do with my hands and face.
I cupped her soft cheek in my palm and covered that smirking mouth with mine.
A sweet kiss, nothing like what we did outside Sundown.
This wasn’t fire and thirst. It was milk and honey.
And that made it all the more dangerous, because I didn’t feel it in my cock.
I felt it in my chest.
“What was that for?” Her dark eyes scanned my face, the pretty green around her pupils shining like meadow grass. She looked at me like that, and I couldn’t do anything but give her the truth.
“Flowers, mountains, sky, and you in the middle of it all, looking like the reason for everything.”
Her lips parted in surprise. There was something vulnerable in her expression, but in the next second she leaned back, the mouth that had softened against mine once again twisted into a jaded smirk.
“Damn, that’s a good line, cowboy.” She nudged Indigo forward and called over her shoulder, “Stay there. I want the mountains to be the backdrop behind you.” Lennon halted Indigo several yards away and held up her phone. “Okay, look pensive and masculine. Shouldn’t be too hard for you.”
Her shields were back up.
Maybe I was asking for too much. I had told her what had happened to me, but I hadn’t told her what I’d done.
I hadn’t told her about Hannah.