Chapter 16
GRAYSON
Itear open the package of ramen with my teeth, dumping the clump of noodles into the pot.
Steam curls up, and I grab a bowl from my cabinet.
That damn photo. Anderson—Ace—him and Aoife boxing together in a ring that I can only assume is the one underground at O’Brien’s.
She was young, so much so that most people don’t realize that’s her in the photo, I’m sure.
It’s not like I spend a ton of time inside the chief’s office, but did I truly miss the boxing photo or the pair of old gloves dangling beside the door?
With a snip, I clip open the seasoning packet and dump it in, stirring with the chopsticks I hoarded from one of my random takeout nights.
She loves me.
Hell. And I … Why did I walk away? Am I really shocked that a crime family leader would, in fact, act like a leader? Aoife is truly soft to her core, but with an inner strength that rivals some of the strongest men I know.
I lean against the counter, arms crossed. She loves me.
The water rolls, and I stare fixated on how it ripples and shifts. It’s restless, like the churning in my stomach at the idea I let her think I don’t feel the same. I’m gone for this woman. I’ve been gone for this woman. I can’t ask her to change for me. I shouldn’t.
Cold metal brushes across the pads of my fingers as I fumble for the clip at my hip.
My badge catches on my leather belt for a moment before I yank it free and toss it over onto the counter.
Its dull sheen throws my reflection back at me, and I stare into it.
How many years have I been doing this? Bled for the badge, swallowed my anger for it.
It means something to me, yes, but now it’s a weight I can’t lift.
This badge used to own me. I let it. But now …
I’m fairly certain something else does, someone else.
The corner of my mouth twitches upward as I move from the badge to the tree, smooshed into the cavity between my desk and the window. Then my gaze bounces to the box of lights she shipped me.
She loves me.
My phone dings, and I pull it from my pocket.
REED
Hey. You still have the sedan checked out?
Yeah. Keys are in it.
REED
Appreciate it. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Technically, we’re supposed to check the cars back into motor pool between shifts, but the department is lax on the unmarked sedans. I use mine off-duty more than I should.
I toss my phone down and move back to flick off the stove. I shovel my dollar meal into my mouth as quickly as possible and take a shower. I need sleep, to think on it all, but if there’s one thing I know, it’s that she loves me, and I can’t stop thinking about how much I love her, too.