Chapter 28 Where It All Began #2
The smell of the blood under Adriana’s nails reached Xander before he saw Cassandra place a hand on top of hers, forcing her to stop nervously picking and scratching herself.
He listened to her thoughts, sensing her worries about using her Luciferus light after Lilith had used it against her.
But he’d seen what she’d done, he’d seen the true power of her magic and the promise it held.
“Excuse me,” Dylan quietly said, his hand politely raised.
Xander struggled to mask his surprise at Dylan speaking up.
He was a nervous boy at only nineteen years old, far too young to sit on the Court, but the only living descendant from Rhys after his family were wiped out several months ago by a Liberator attack.
Dylan had been the one to find them. He’d returned home to find his house burnt to ashes, his family merely charred corpses, and his father hanging from a tree.
His body had been mutilated, the flesh of his chest carved to represent a flaming willow tree, the mark of the Liberators.
Ade had taken him in immediately, and expressed his concern to Niamh and Xander over recruiting him to sit on the Court, offering to leave the seat empty.
But Dylan had signed his name the next day, declared himself a leader of the Lupus Court, and stepped up to his role with efficiency.
Xander was truly in awe of him. To lose so much in such a short space of time and still be able to neglect all hatred and anger—especially at the age of nineteen—was astounding.
“I know we can’t destroy them ourselves, but maybe we can learn to hold them off,” Dylan continued, as he turned to the Lamia Court leaders. “We fought them yesterday in London, when their shadows were controlled. You guys were much better at it then we were, though.”
Ade nodded in agreement with him. “We didn’t fight them well, but we could if you trained us properly. If we learnt how to fight shadows, we could fight the Umbranimae.”
“We could train all the Lupi,” Niamh said. “There’s already dozens of families outside, and there will be far more joining soon.”
Deion gave her a smile of encouragement. “We can train everyone, I’ll help you.”
They continued to discuss their plans for training, pitching ideas of Adriana and Xander creating impressions of Umbranimae with their shadows to teach the Daemons.
It wouldn’t be the same, but it would give them some sort of understanding to know what to expect.
The Courts had moved away from combat training ever since the formation of the World Court, instead focusing on the political aspects of their roles.
But now, with the country on the brink of collapse, war was inevitably coming. They needed to fight the old way.
Xander noticed Adriana remained quiet, only nodding along if anyone asked her a question and offering small smiles to anyone who spoke to her, but she wasn’t listening, not really.
As his Manipuli power reached out, he felt the wounds within mind.
She was strong, but she was still healing from Lilith’s control, from everything.
She had spent so long ignoring her feelings, so long ignoring the dark thoughts in her head, and now she had been made to face it all over the last few days.
Everything that she felt for Xander, everything she felt about herself, everything she had been through in her previous and current life.
It exhausted her, understandably, and she was so tired of it all.
I know the feeling, Xander spoke in her mind.
She drifted her gaze up to find him watching her, her eyes widening slightly. He knew she didn’t want anyone to know how she felt, she’d always preferred to keep her real thoughts and feelings to herself.
You don’t have to help, no one would blame you if you ran as far away from here as possible.
Adriana frowned at him, slightly shaking her head in annoyance at his words and pulling the walls around her mind back up.
He merely wanted her to know she had a choice in her role, and if she decided to turn around, walk out that door, and run for the hills, Xander knew his first response would be to go with her.
But the truth was, he didn’t have that option.
He was the only one who could truly connect to Caligo’s darkness, and he was the appointed leader of the Courts.
No matter how much he resented his responsibility and the things he’d done, he would do them over and over again to protect his family.
And he knew that Adriana, as the last and only Luciferus, didn’t really have that choice either.
“There will be mortal refugees, too,” Edward said. “Those who are seen as Daemon sympathisers will be treated just the same as us. We’ll need to provide them sanctuary as well.”
Xander nodded. “We already have camping spaces across the grounds for everyone, and we can set up beds in the manor. It’ll be a tight fit, but we’ll make it work until we know how far we can expand our borders.
We’ll set up patrol troops starting tonight, see how far we can claim as our own.
For now, use the cottage and that area for families and young children that arrive.
” Standing from the table, he looked around the room.
“We will overcome this. We will win, and we will live peacefully again. We cannot lose. If we do… we lose everything.”
No one said a word, the realisation of the extent of their situation settling across the room.
He had not meant to crush any of their hope, but the seriousness of the incoming war weighed heavy on him.
This was not just a war with Rook, this was the beginning of a whole new battle with Lilith. This was the beginning of the end.
“And on that cheery note,” he poorly joked, “I think we should end it there. It’s late and we all need to rest. Tomorrow is when the real work begins.”
Edward produced a large scroll and laid it in the centre of the table.
It contained the dates of all the Courts’ meetings and leaders, dating back to 1820—the year Striga and Thomas convinced Xander to forge the Courts.
Edward scribbled their names down underneath the last entry and then passed it round the table with his pen for the new Courts to add their names.
The Lamiae: Alexander Duran, Deion Daktari, Nicolai Fernandez, Edward Paul and Kadeem Gowon. The Lupi: Niamh Yue, Ade Kamari and Dylan Lowell. And the Incantrices, a section that had been left blank since 1874: Cassandra Romilly and Adriana Clarke.
Adriana was last to sign, and Xander watched as her fingers lingered over the pen strokes of her great-grandmother’s and great-grandfather’s signatures from the previous Court signings, a strange look on her face.
Xander missed each and every fallen leader of the Courts, but he missed Striga and Thomas most of all.
Aside from his brothers, they were the closest friends he’d ever had.
The Court leaders all slowly stood, each of them heading out of the room to prepare for their duties.
Kadeem spoke with the Lupi about their plans for training on how to fight, offering his advice where he could.
Deion and Edward announced they would check in on their children and the other families that had begun to arrive, whilst Nicolai offered to take Cassandra on a tour of the grounds.
But Xander remained standing over the table, watching Adriana lose herself in her thoughts before she quickly signed the scroll and abruptly left the room.
“Addie?” Cassandra called after her, but Adriana ignored her and ran up the stairs.
Cassandra turned to Xander, her head tilting towards the door in a silent plea for him to go and speak to her sister. He gave her a genuine smile, glad that a mutual trust was beginning to bloom between them, and made his way up the stairs.
He found Adriana standing on the small balcony of the room she shared with Cass, looking out across the lake at all the trucks, vans and tents set up across the grounds.
Dozens of Daemons had made their way to Duran Manor, and they were expecting plenty more to arrive over the next few days.
It was strange enough being back, but it was even stranger seeing the grounds busy again.
Xander knocked on the doorframe to let her know he was there, but he knew she could sense his presence as soon as he’d reached the top of the stairs. They had always been painfully aware of one another, even when they didn’t want to be.
“I meant it,” Xander said, as he walked through the room to stand on the balcony beside her. “When I said you don’t have to do this, I meant it. I’ll stand by whatever decision you make, whether you fight or not is your choice. You have more than earned your freedom from this world of pain.”
Adriana let out a long sigh as she continued to gaze out across the grounds, her attention fixed on the remains of her old house in the distance.
“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it.
I could keep running from you, from everyone, because it’s all I’ve known for so long.
But I am so tired of running, Xander. I’m tired of running from everything I went through, from everything we went through. ”
She turned to face him, her hands holding something close to her chest as she looked up at him. His breath hitched at the look in her eyes, the sadness within them, and the determination that lay deep within her.
“I’m not running anymore,” she said firmly. “I’m staying right here, and I will fight with everything that I have. I will stand alongside you.”
Adriana opened her hands to show a small silver chain.
He recognised it as the necklace Striga had bought her for her birthday all those years ago.
She unlocked the clasp and slid off a charm he didn’t know it had.
Only it wasn’t a pendant, he realised. It was a ring.
His mother’s ring, the same one that he had proposed with.
“You kept it?” Xander asked, his voice unable to hide his shock. “After all this time?”
Adriana nodded as she stared at the ring, the pale blue stone such a perfect resemblance of her eyes. “I could never throw it away, I knew how much it meant to you. And now I can give it back to you.”
Xander stiffened at her words, a sharp pain lancing through his chest as she held the ring out in her palm for him to take. He shook his head with a forced smile playing on his lips, and wrapped his hand around hers, closing her fingers around the ring.
“I can’t take it,” he whispered. “It belongs to you. My heart belongs to you, it always has, whether you want it or not.”
He kissed her knuckles before turning their hands over so his were on top. With a nod, he gestured for her to look at their hands, specifically the silver band on his left ring finger.
He knew she’d noticed it in the cottage before, but it had escaped her mind since then.
As she inspected it closely, he saw the moment she realised it was not a plain band at all, and was engraved with the Incantrix moon cycle.
Even though they never had their wedding, Xander had made sure to wear it every day ever since that terrible night, ever since he thought he’d lost her forever.
“I’m yours, Adriana, to do with whatever you see fit. Throw me away if you wish, hate me as much as your heart desires. But I will always be yours.”
A tear trailed down her cheek as she continued to study his ring, her overwhelming sadness so heavy it rolled off of her in waves. But beneath it, something stirred, something warm and beautiful. A whiff of hope, a spark of devotion. A glimmer of the same love Xander held for her.
He loved her, he had always loved her… and he had killed her.
Though it was not truly him, he knew she needed to deal with that just as much as he did.
They needed to cope with the truth of what had happened and choose where to go from now.
But Adriana was right, they couldn’t run from it, not anymore.
She brought his hand to her lips, kissing his ring but avoiding his skin. Xander couldn’t help himself and leant down as she tilted her head up, his lips brushing delicately against hers, selfishly desperate for her to want him back.
“Ask me,” Xander said, unashamed of his begging tone. “Please, ask me.”
Adriana smiled and ran her fingers along his jaw. “Kiss me.”
So Xander did.
He closed the small gap between them, his lips meeting hers in a deep, loving kiss.
He brought her hand to his face, silently asking her to touch him, to run her fingers through his hair like she knew he loved.
He was so starved of her touch, of her everything, that he was quite certain he’d never have enough.
She obeyed his requests, tugging at his curls and pulling him closer to her. His hands held her waist, keeping her body flush against his as he traced her bottom lip with his tongue before taking it gently between his teeth and pulling, making her moan into his kiss.
“You’re still here,” he whispered against her mouth, more to reassure himself than anything.
Adriana nodded as she pulled away. “I’m not going anywhere, I’m not running again. I am still broken, Xander, but I am healing from our past. And it will take time. I will need time.”
Xander brought a hand to her face, his thumb rubbed her full bottom lip before pressing a final kiss against it. “I will wait for you,” he said. “I will be here whenever you need me, for whatever you need me for. I will always wait for you.”
Adriana smiled up at him before she wrapped her arms around his waist, her head dropping to his chest. He held her close against him, kissing the top of her hair as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying his hardest to block out the painful memories of hurting her and focusing on the present.
Xander knew he had just as much work to do on his behalf for them to move on from their past, to move on from the trauma they both suffered.
But he just wasn’t ready to face that trauma like Adriana was, not when he knew he was responsible for it all.
They looked out across the setting sun, its last rays disappearing behind the old remains of Amara House. Small fires from the campsites that had been pitched for the Daemon refugees lit up the manor grounds as nightfall approached.
It wouldn’t be easy, none of it would be. But then again, nothing ever was for them.