Chapter Thirty-nine
Alessia
My father was right. I didn’t belong here. This was Rodion’s bloodline, his family, and they had just laid one in the ground. Now he had put another down for talking back. My lungs fought for air. I couldn’t look at the body, at the blood spreading beneath it, sliding out across the floor.
My eyes slipped from the corpse to my lap, where Rodion’s hand rested over mine. The same hand that had pulled the trigger. Did he do that for me, or was it only the fury he always carried, burning through everything in his path?
Papa was right. Rodion’s world was far from mine. And no matter how many times he pulled me into it, I could never fit. I wasn’t built for this.
But damn it, a traitorous part of me hated to admit he was hot.
The control in his voice, the way they all obeyed, the raw power he carried …
it set my chest on fire with pride. And I hated myself for it.
Was I losing my mind? He made me feel safe, cherished, and even proud to be shown off.
I knew it was wrong. I shouldn’t want this.
After I left home yesterday, Papa’s words wouldn’t leave me. Each one kept grinding through my head. He said Rodion wasn’t my future. He was my downfall. I had to stay away, at least until he found a way to pull me out of this life. His last warning was clear: stay out of trouble.
That’s why I decided to keep my distance from a man who could make me melt with just a look or destroy me with the same.
I have been avoiding him. And of course, he noticed.
His voice cut through the silence again. “Trust me, Little Gem, we can stare at these plates all night. But I’ll sit here until you look at me and talk.”
I couldn’t look at him or tell him the truth. That his world was too dangerous for me, and I didn’t belong here.
Because what if I said it, and he snapped? What if he locked me up just to keep me?
My father’s warnings weren’t paranoia. I had seen what Rodion was capable of. And the worst part? I still wanted him.
He murmured my name. “Alessia…”
But the moment broke when one guard stepped in, uninvited. Rodion stiffened, ready to snap, but the man spoke fast. “This came in for you, boss.” He handed over an envelope and left.
Seizing the moment, I stood, my knees wavering. “I need some air. I don’t feel well.”
Rodion was on his feet before I could take another step.
His grip closed around my hand, and I exhaled, knowing he wouldn’t let it end there.
He stepped closer, his palm brushing across my forehead.
I froze. He studied me with that subtle squint, a silence that always came before he decided what to do next.
“I can’t do this here,” I said quickly.
After a second, he let go, and I left.
My heart ached after leaving. A part of me wanted to stay and end it with words. I hated the war within myself. Leaving felt wrong, but telling him the truth terrified me. No matter how right he felt in moments, he still scared me. And I couldn’t love a man who kept me from being free.
I reached the girls’ room. The girls huddled together, but their heads turned the moment I stepped inside. The look on their faces told me they already knew what had happened.
I kept my head down and brushed past them, sinking onto my bed. I pulled out my phone to text Carina because I was going insane.
I stared at the screen, but she didn’t reply.
I scrolled to distract myself. My feed showed pictures of Italy.
The cobbled streets glistened after the rain.
Balconies spilled with flowers, and sunlit villages were alive with strangers.
It looked like home, yet all it gave me was a sense of distance.
Minutes passed before I realized the girls had slipped out of the room. My phone buzzed, and I tapped on Carina’s reply with a jolt of relief.
The door banged open while I was still typing. Clara stumbled in, breathless, like she’d run the entire way. A jolt of dread snapped me upright.
“The boss sent me,” she breathed. “He’s waiting in the car outside.”
My blood ran cold. In the car? Where was he taking me now? The question clawed at me, but I stayed silent. Refusing wasn’t an option. I knew if I didn’t go, he would come for me himself. So I stood and left the quarters.
The car waited outside. My mind churned with too many thoughts at once. With Rodion, anything was possible. I had pushed him too far, and the fear of what came next sat heavy in my chest.
I slid into the backseat. Rodion was already there, phone pressed to his ear.
He didn’t look at me, and maybe that was for the best. I turned to the window as the car rolled out of the territory.
His low voice filled the space, each word rough enough to stir something inside me.
I forced it down, telling myself whatever I felt for him would fade once we left for Italy.
The car slowed, and my thoughts snapped back to reality. A private jet waited ahead, gleaming under the lights. My pulse kicked as I stared. Where was he taking me?
We stepped out and boarded. Moments later, the engines roared, and the ground fell away beneath us.
I sat across from Rodion. He had poured himself a drink. I kept my eyes on the window, pretending to be absorbed in the view instead of the man watching me.
From above, the city lights stretched without end, a sea of gold that made it feel like we were circling forever. I let myself take it in. California was beautiful, and I wasn’t ready to leave it behind. My life, my friends, and everything I knew were here. But safety came first.
Tears pricked, but I forced them back and fixed my eyes outside. My eyes caught the same building I had seen minutes ago. We weren’t leaving the city’s airspace. We were flying in circles.
At first, I almost ignored it, but the low thrum outside drew me to the window. I pressed closer to the glass. A helicopter paced us, steady at our side, its rotors chopping through the night. Across its body, bold blue letters read: POLICE.
Heat rushed through my veins. That wasn’t a joyride.
Voices crackled from its speakers, faint and broken. Still, our plane circled the city again, unbothered.
I turned to Rodion. He leaned back with his glass in hand, sipping slowly and relaxed.
The speakers outside flared louder, words I couldn’t make out. “What is happening?” I asked.
He tipped the glass and drained it. “I should ask you the same.”
I frowned. “How would I know? Why are they tailing us?”
His gaze hardened. “And how am I supposed to know why you’ve been avoiding me?”
My stomach dropped.
He tilted his head. “Are you ready to talk now?”
“Rodion, those are the police officers.”
“And this is you and me,” he said evenly. “We can circle all night until you decide to talk.”
I stared at him, disbelief knotting in my chest. Was he serious?
“Are you kidding me? Rodion, we—” I glanced out the window. The helicopter was still there, hovering, relentless. “Fine. We’ll talk.”
“Okay.”
I buckled my belt tight. “Can we land? We could get arrested.”
“Why are you avoiding me?”
A disbelief breath escaped me. He couldn’t be serious. But the look on his face told me he was.
“Fine,” I said. “Yes, I’m avoiding you. But we can do this somewhere else.”
“We tried, didn’t we? And what did you do?”
“Rodion—”
“Alessia.”
His voice cut clean, refusing to let me wriggle free. But I knew the faster I spoke, the sooner this storm might pass.
“Talk to me.” His voice dropped.
“We’ll be moving to Italy,” I whispered. “And I didn’t realize that this was a mistake.”
He didn’t flinch or say a word.
“I don’t belong in your life,” I breathed. “I have a life, and not this one.” Rodion still kept quiet. His stare pinned me in place. Still, I forced the words out, despite how painful they sounded. “I don’t fit in your life.”
At last, he spoke. “And who said I want you in my life?”
The words sliced deeper than I was ready for. Tears slipped free before I could stop them. I dropped my gaze, struggling to swallow the ache clawing up my chest.
He placed the glass down with a quiet click. “I don’t want you in my life,” he said. “You are my life.”
I looked up, blurry-eyed, stunned. God. This man could stab and heal in one breath. And right now, I was bleeding and breathless and somehow feeling safe all at once.
He leaned closer. “Do you really think I’d let you go?”
I swallowed. “You don’t understand—”
“Neither do you,” he cut in. “You don’t even know what you do to me.” My breath hitched. “You drive me mad, Alessia, completely mad. I can’t control myself.”
Teas slipped, and I didn’t even wipe them. God, he was wrecking me.
I needed a reason to stay, and then he gave it to me.
“You fucking control me.” He paused, his brow twitching, the mafia pride bleeding into vulnerability. “You are my life, Alessia.”
The world stopped spinning. Or maybe it spun faster, I couldn’t tell. My breathing came faster.
He looked at me, and it wasn’t like before. This was real.
“When you looked at me holding that fucking mask to my face so I could breathe,” he said slowly. “I saw the world differently.” We stared. “I wanted to breathe, just for you.”
Something inside me stilled. I didn’t know what to say. This wasn’t the man who’d pulled the trigger and killed his relative. This was a new version. He made me realize he wasn’t only a mafia boss; he could be almost ordinary, like me.
“I... I don’t know what to say.”
“Then don’t. I’ll let you avoid this one.” He said, and I let out a shaky chuckle, which turned into a sob. He gave me a smile that didn’t disappear before I could catch it; it stayed. “Come here, Alessia.” He got up.
I blinked, startled to find the jet already on the ground. When had we even landed?
I unbuckled, got up, and stepped toward him. His arm slid around my waist, pulling me against the solid line of his body. His mouth claimed mine in a deep kiss. The world outside didn’t exist. He tasted like whiskey and home, drawing me under the tide I couldn’t fight.