Chapter 1
One
He was alive!
Beltran Varik stepped onto the empty sidewalk and dragged in a deep breath of some rather wretched air, but that didn’t matter. Because he was alive.
He’d died, which hadn’t been at all what he’d expected. Not that he was sure what dying was supposed to be like.
But now he was walking down the street with two of his brothers and his surrogate father, all of them alive in a manner that scientifically confused him.
The world seemed so much bigger and sharper than it had been when he’d been human. Now, as a vampire, the colors were richer at night, the scents so much clearer. It was as if his senses had been honed to a razor’s edge. Did this make him a predator now?
If only he’d known this would happen—he would have taken more measurements of his human senses so he could make more accurate comparisons now.
Rafe’s low, almost taunting laughter pulled Bel from his swirling thoughts. He turned to find his twin leaning on a brick wall, one foot braced against it, looking for all the world a dandy enjoying a night on the town. But that was Rafe. Always scouting for a bit of entertainment.
“I know that look, dear Bel,” Rafe murmured. “You’re positively itching to get back to your study to start entering all your observations into your little journal.”
“Of course. Things feel so different now. I need my journals so I can start making notes while I can remember what it was to be human.”
Rafe winced and waved at Bel to keep his voice down as he pushed away from the wall. “Bloody hell, you need to watch what you say while we’re out.”
“Yes, I know. I was just excited, and I forgot myself,” Bel said, heat burning in his cheeks.
Rafe stood next to Bel and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in close.
It was a relief to see that Rafe’s color was much better now.
Horror had gutted Bel when he realized he’d attacked his twin shortly after waking as a vampire.
Prior to being reborn, he would have been sure that he’d never harm any of his brothers no matter what.
“You must be careful, dear brother.”
“Yes, of course. Are you sure you’re feeling better, though?”
Rafe’s hand squeezed Bel’s shoulder. “Right as rain. No damage done, I swear.”
Bel stared at the man at his side, fully aware that Rafe loved to mask the truth so Bel didn’t worry, but Rafe’s pallor was better than it had been at Marcus’s home.
Even now as he looked back on the moment, he couldn’t quite recall what had happened.
One second there was simply nothing, and the next, he was wrapped in his brother’s strong arms, both relief and worry thick in Rafe’s voice.
There had been consuming hunger that gave way to exquisite pleasure…
and then he was being pulled off Rafe while his twin fought to keep them together.
It was all one giant mess, but Aiden had explained that accidents such as that happened when a vampire was hungry.
There was an easy fix, at least. So long as Bel fed properly, there would be no more accidents that harmed his brothers or anyone else.
There was so much he was dying to ask Aiden. A small smile formed at the thought of the man. He’d been a father to Bel and his three brothers for so long. A protector even after he and their mother could no longer be together.
But now that they were vampires, he was their sire as well. At least that was the vampire term, Aiden had explained.
Bel liked knowing the precise words for things. Knowing the correct terminology kept things in tidy order.
Aiden stepped out of the dark alley with Marcus, their eldest brother. Their heads were close in whispered conversation, and Bel found himself whispering, “Sire,” as if to try it out.
Aiden’s head popped up, and he grinned at Bel with a look of love and pride. “Son,” he whispered back.
“Yes. Sire,” Rafe murmured, sounding as if he were trying the word out on his tongue as well. “It really doesn’t have the right ring to it. Doesn’t sound nearly as nice as ‘Father.’ ”
“I agree,” Marcus added.
Bel’s brow furrowed and he took a step closer to Aiden, Rafe’s hand still resting on his shoulder. “Does that cause a problem with all the new rules we must follow? Should we not call you ‘Father’?”
The older man lifted his hand and cupped the side of Bel’s face, his smile growing wider as his eyes touched on each of the three men around him. “There are some rules I’m happy to ignore. This would be one of them.”
“Excellent,” Bel breathed.
He needed his family. They were a safeguard that gave him the strength to pursue his studies.
He was loath to admit it, but they formed a protective wall around him, separating him from the demands of society.
People outside his family confounded him.
They didn’t make sense, particularly with their irrational demands of marriage and children.
“The night is wasting away,” Marcus said.
“Winter,” Rafe added, reminding them all that their youngest brother was waiting at Marcus’s home to be turned with the rest of them.
Aiden had managed to transform Marcus, Rafe, and Bel without too much trouble. At least until Bel had attacked Rafe. Then it became clear that the three new vampires needed to feed before Winter could be turned. The scent of blood in the air had been driving them past the point of control.
“Yes, we need to get back to Winter. He will not be left out,” Aiden said.
He motioned toward Marcus’s carriage just down the block.
If the driver had thought it at all strange that the three brothers and Aiden wanted to be brought to this disreputable part of town, he gave no indication.
Of course, Bel suspected that if they’d used Rafe’s driver, the man wouldn’t have blinked an eye at the request.
As they neared the carriage, something…strange whispered through Bel’s brain.
A thought. Almost like a voice. But it hadn’t spoken in words so much as a feeling.
Bel stopped where he was on the sidewalk and looked around.
There was no one close to them besides the driver.
The streets were largely empty for the late hour.
All the people were tucked away in their tiny homes.
The feeling of anxiety was growing stronger, but Bel couldn’t place it.
Beside him, one of the horses attached to Marcus’s carriage whinnied and tossed its head.
Without thinking, Bel reached over and patted the side of the horse’s neck, murmuring softly to it.
The horse grew quiet, and the feeling of anxiety slowly dissipated.
Bel lifted his hand slowly and looked over at the horse. It couldn’t—
“Bel? Are you coming?”
He flinched at Rafe’s question as it jerked him from his strange thought. “Yes, of course. Right away.” He said the words to his twin, but his eyes were pulled back to the horse standing quietly beside him. It couldn’t have been. That didn’t make any sense.
Shaking the thought away, Bel climbed into the carriage and dropped onto the bench, beside Aiden.
Rafe followed him in and sat on the opposite bench, next to Marcus.
With a quick rap on the roof, they were off.
His brother kept a very nice home just outside of town, offering much-needed privacy but also a closeness to town for the purposes of Marcus’s business investments.
The steady rocking of the well-sprung carriage and the reassuring warmth of Bel’s family close at hand helped to soothe away the initial tendrils of panic that had grabbed his mind.
He relaxed against the cushions and sighed, closing his eyes.
Marcus and Aiden were talking about something.
He wasn’t quite sure what—their voices had become a low burble of noise.
Bel was content to simply replay the night through his head, trying to recall in perfect detail what Aiden had done to turn both Marcus and Rafe.
He’d still been human at that time, but the memories were growing foggy now under the weight of emotions he tried to block out.
Not the easiest of tasks when it came to watching his two beloved brothers die before his eyes.
Their absolute stillness. No breath. No beating heart.
Despite all Aiden’s reassurances, panic had stolen away his rational mind.
Even now, Bel found his eyes snapping open and locking on Rafe and Marcus.
His eldest brother was saying something about finding more effective ways to block out the light in the house during the day, while Rafe sat with a slightly bemused expression on his face.
But his expression changed. His eyes focused on Bel, and one eyebrow raised in question, as if he could feel the panic rising in his twin.
Bel managed a small shake of his head and a smile. He was being silly. It was all nonsense. His brothers were safe and alive.…Well, they were vampires. And soon, Winter would join them. They’d be together. Forever.
He started to close his eyes again when the voice whispered again through his brain. It felt the same as the first one he’d heard when he’d been standing on the sidewalk outside the carriage. The anxiety was back, but with it was fatigue. Desire for someplace warm and safe.
But it wasn’t the only voice. There was a second one. Slightly more distant, but it felt like it was coming from overhead. This one was hunger.
Bel’s eyes darted out the window to his left, but there was no one outside the carriage.
They’d left London and were moving through the nearby countryside.
Not far from Marcus’s home. Trees were crowding closer to the road, blocking out the moonlight.
Beyond were hills for the rolling pasture lands and farms.
The second voice disappeared, but the first remained.
It didn’t matter. He was hearing voices.
Just like Julianna.
Just like his very mad mother.
They had all argued over it, and Bel had been the one to say that it was a slim possibility that any of them would suffer the same madness as she. The same dark insanity that drove her to attack her beloved children and the man she adored.
Oh God, he couldn’t be losing his mind like Julianna. His brothers depended on him. They’d made this decision to become vampires so that they could protect their mother and each other. He couldn’t be a burden on them. He wouldn’t do it.
Bel glanced again at Marcus and Rafe, but both of his brothers seemed relaxed and maybe a little tired after the long night. They gave no indication that they’d heard anything strange. Aiden would have certainly mentioned the possibility of unexplained voices if they were likely.
Looking away from his brothers, Bel chewed on his bottom lip and tried to concentrate on the voice he could still hear.
There were no specific words. Just feelings.
Basic desires. They were a little similar to what he felt from Rafe at times, but the emotional tie he had with his twin was more nuanced and far clearer than this. Definitely not coming from Rafe.
“Bel? What’s wrong?” Rafe asked, drawing Bel from his thoughts.
“Nothing,” Bel replied quickly. Probably too quickly, because Rafe didn’t look convinced in the slightest.
“I can feel your distress,” Rafe pressed.
Aiden shifted, his astute gaze moving from Bel to Rafe. “Your connection is still intact. I’d hoped for as much.” He sounded pleased, but there was worry in his eyes.
The vampire had always known about their unique gift.
Of course, Rafe and Bel had been barely eleven when Aiden came into their lives, too young to worry about hiding such a thing from an adult.
After sixteen years, it was just as normal as anything else in their lives, not that Bel held the delusion that anything was normal about the Variks.
“I’m fine. Everything is fine,” Bel said sharply. He drew in a ragged breath, and his shoulders slumped. He didn’t sound fine, and he wasn’t convincing anyone on the carriage. “Sorry. I-I think I’m just tired. It’s been a long night, and there are just so many questions in my head.”
A hand closed over his arm, and Bel looked down to see it was Aiden’s. “It’s okay. You’re going to be just fine. You have a very long existence ahead of you. Plenty of time to uncover the answers to all your questions.”
Some of the panic eased at Aiden’s reassuring smile and soft words. He prayed his father was right. Hearing unexplained voices was never a good thing, but they weren’t telling him to hurt his family. He felt no need to attack any of them. Only protect.
Maybe these weren’t the same voices Julianna heard.
And if they were, there was still time.
Tonight, they would change over Winter.
His three brothers—as vampires—would be able to manage Julianna, and he would end his own life if need be. He refused to be a burden on his family.