Chapter 4
Four
The meeting ended not long after his brothers reluctantly accepted that Winter would be sneaking into Damon’s lair.
But he was deeply touched by the fact that each of them pulled him aside and offered any kind of assistance he might need, whether it was a getaway driver or a possible distraction.
Bel offered to cook up some tranquilizer darts that were effective on vampires.
Winter turned them all down, but he was warmed by their offers. He was loved. When he approached Damon’s compound, he wasn’t going to feel alone. His brothers’ love and support would be going with him.
As his brothers and their mates drifted out of the room, Winter found himself alone with his father, who was watching him with an expression he couldn’t quite read.
That was strange in and of itself. Winter had gotten quite good at reading Aiden’s expressive gold eyes over the years.
Of all the family, he’d probably spent the most time with Aiden, though Winter doubted any of them were aware of it.
The man had thick brown hair and a hard, square jaw.
He appeared to be in his early to midtwenties, barely older than Winter, but they’d learned recently that Aiden was considerably older than they’d all known.
But by appearance, Marcus looked older than their father.
A small smile finally formed on Aiden’s lips, and he pushed to his feet. “Take a walk with me. The weather is still nice.”
Winter nodded and rose as well, following Aiden through the house to a set of double doors that led to a broad stone patio.
They walked in silence for a while, strolling along the paving stones and then across the back lawn.
A dark forest rose up not far away, but there was no sense that anyone was watching them from the trees.
“How’s living with so many Variks under one roof?” Winter asked after a moment, earning a low chuckle from Aiden.
“An adjustment, but I do love it,” he admitted.
“Too many years alone.”
Aiden lifted his shoulders a bit, but Winter understood the gesture. When Julianna was alive, he couldn’t be too close, or he risked setting her off on one of her black moods. He’d traveled constantly, trying to stay ready in case he was needed.
“I know Marcus gets frustrated with having me close,” Aiden stated, though he sounded more amused than hurt by the idea. “He’s so accustomed to making all the decisions and not conferring with me. I know it ruffles his feathers to check with me now, even if I tell him it’s not necessary.”
Winter snorted. “Marcus is a bulldozer. He likes to have everything within his control, so he can just plow through it all.”
“Ethan is teaching him delegation.”
“Ha!”
Aiden bumped him playfully with his elbow. “I’m quite serious. Ethan is trying to teach Marcus to let me handle things. The incentive is that they can now spend more time together.”
“Little Varik is an evil genius. We’ve all underestimated him time and again,” Winter said, using the nickname Rafe created for Ethan.
“That is very true. Bel and his wolves seem to have settled in faster than I have, but then, Bel has lived with Marcus in the past.”
“It doesn’t hurt that Wyatt and River are easy to be around.”
Aiden hummed his agreement before stopping.
He bent down and picked a wild flower growing along the edge of the forest. Its delicate purple petals seemed to almost glow in the moonlight.
“Rafe and Philippe stop by often. Your brother is still warming up to the wolves, but Bel has gotten sharper in his teasing of Rafe.”
There was a heavy weight in the silence that fell between them. Aiden had carefully worked his way through all the Varik brothers except for Winter. He was the aloof brother. The secretive brother. The brother who managed to be both distant and close at the same time.
“I’m fine, Aiden,” Winter said a bit testy.
“Bel knows something of your secret,” Aiden replied. “He hasn’t said anything to me yet, but I can see the wheels turning when he looks at you.”
Winter bit the inside of his mouth, thinking over Bel’s words from earlier in the night. He didn’t feel guilty about not telling his brothers about Julianna. They’d all gotten more time with her, even if it was strained and nerve-wracking at moments.
But Aiden didn’t. They were together for less than two full years when she’d been a human.
After he turned her, he couldn’t be near her again for fear of risking the lives of her children.
She’d lived nearly two hundred more years, and Aiden was never able to see her again.
He couldn’t hold her. Couldn’t even say good-bye.
Was it wrong of Winter to deny his father that chance now? He could at least tell him about the ghost. Give him the option.
Winter sighed heavily. “He…he saw Julianna that night. When I used my gift on him.”
Aiden was quiet for a long time, his eyes locked on the flower he slowly spun by its stem between two fingers.
“It’s not really her, Father,” Winter pressed on.
Panic rose in his chest. His father had already suffered so much for his love of the woman, and Winter didn’t want to cause him another second of pain.
“She doesn’t talk. Most of the time I only see her standing in Marcus’s foyer.
She smiles. That’s it. She doesn’t try to interact with me or anyone in the house. ”
“She—” Aiden stopped and cleared his throat, trying again. “She’s smiling? She looks happy?”
Winter nodded and blinked fiercely against a rush of tears. “She does. I think…I think she’s watching over us. Just kind of happy to see us living our lives.”
“And you think she can see all of us? She can see me?”
“Yes,” Winter said, though the word nearly became trapped behind the lump in his throat. And then he asked the one thing he swore he wouldn’t. “Would…would you like to see her?”
Aiden was silent for so long, Winter had begun to wonder if he’d actually heard his question.
After nearly a full minute, Aiden slowly shook his head.
“It’s better if I don’t. I will always love her, but she’s gone.
I said my good-byes. My focus needs to be on the children she blessed me with.
If she can see me, she can see I’m happy and loved by her sons. That’s enough.”
Winter grabbed Aiden and hugged him tightly, roughly wiping tears on the man’s shoulder. “You are loved,” he whispered in a choked voice.
Aiden held him. “I know. My sons have always made me feel loved.”
When Winter stepped back, reluctantly releasing Aiden, the smile was a little steadier on Aiden’s lips. “And because of that love, I feel confident in saying that you should tell your brothers…everything.”
Winter groaned and turned toward the house. It was an old argument Winter had spent one hundred and seventy-seven years dodging. “Now is not the time. We’ve got other things to occupy us.”
“There’s always a new excuse, but I know it comes down to fear. You’re scared of how your brothers are going to react. Scared they will look at you with fear or pity.”
“Yes!” Winter snapped, throwing his arms up. “Of course I am. After all we went through with Mother, I don’t want them looking at me like I’m a fucking ticking time bomb. Even after all these years.”
“I don’t think they will.”
“Well, now is definitely not the time to get into it.” At least with the threat of Damon and the witch, he felt on firmer ground with his evasion. He started to walk toward Marcus’s house, and Aiden fell into step beside him.
His father didn’t say anything, but Winter knew he was right.
He’d put it off with the excuse that they had to put all their energy into protecting Julianna and their family.
Now it was about protecting the clan from Damon and his pack of assholes.
There would always be a new excuse. He’d spent almost his entire human and vampire lives hiding things from his brothers, and it was getting old. The weight pressed heavy on his chest.
He was so damn tired.
“Could you do me a favor when you talk to Zelda?” Winter asked suddenly.
“Of course.”
“Ask her about my prophecy.”
“Winter…” Aiden started, but Winter was already shaking his head. This was the other thing they’d gone around and around about over the years. They were never going to agree on it, and Winter had reconciled himself to it.
Aiden had spoken to Zelda shortly after Winter had been reborn a vampire. He wanted her opinion on Winter’s strange ability to hear the dead, to see the dead. Zelda had replied with the one and only prophecy she’d given the Varik clan.
When the mother finds peace,
And the brothers find joy,
The youngest shall find silence divine.
Winter might not necessarily believe in witches and magic, but some irrational part of his brain had clung to those words for so many years.
He just needed to know that it would be over one day.
He hadn’t known it would take one hundred and seventy-seven years for them to complete the first two parts of the prophecy, but he had to believe that the end was finally upon him.
Right now, all he prayed was that he would last until after Damon was taken care of. Then he’d find his own peace in silence. He’d always taken the final line to mean that he was meant to die. What other divine silence could there be? How else was he supposed to shed this curse?
Aiden clung to the hope of some answer, but Zelda had provided no new enlightenment or guidance. Part of him remained skeptical, but her words were his last and only hope.
“Talk to her for me. I’m tired, Aiden. I just want to be rid of the dead at last.”