Chapter 9 #2
“Uh…just a moment. Let me check,” Wyatt replied in a slightly strained voice while still trying to sound calm.
Aiden could hear the rustling of a blanket as the werewolf likely climbed out of bed.
It was another minute before Wyatt spoke and this time it was at a harsh whisper.
“I’m going to assume that since you called me, you’d rather Bel not know. ”
“I don’t mind him knowing, but I don’t want him to worry as he’s trying to fall asleep.”
“The sun is nearly above the horizon, Aiden.” Wyatt’s voice was nearly a growl with concern. “Are you somewhere at least protected for now?”
“Yes, yes of course. We could stay here for the entire day if we needed and be perfectly safe. It’s just not as safe as it would be if I were home.”
“Or as comfortable,” Ronan muttered.
“And Ronan?”
“This isn’t his fault,” Aiden said quickly. “We were hunting together, and I allowed us to get sidetracked. We weren’t paying attention to the time.”
“Uh-huh. Where are you?”
Aiden rolled his eyes as he rattled off the address for the apartment building as well as which apartment they were hiding in.
“Okay. Just a heads up, we’ll probably need to grab Fox as well. He knows a handy spell for bringing in some cloud cover.”
Bringing in Fox definitely meant Winter finding out, and his youngest son had been very vocal about his lack of trust when it came to Ronan. But that just brought up an entirely new and unpleasant thought.
“Yes, I understand that Fox has been very handy about moving vampires during the daylight hours.”
Wyatt hissed softly. “Ronan told you about that, did he?”
“I was hoping that you had more sense than to involve yourself in that nonsense.”
There was a low chuckle. “Well, I find my sense goes out the window when Bel’s happiness is involved. I’m sorry about that.”
“I’m not the one who you should be apologizing to, but he was quick to defend you lot.”
Wyatt chuckled again. “At least you’ve got some good ammo for your upcoming conversation with Bel and Winter. We’ll be there in thirty to sixty minutes. It just depends on how long it takes us to convince Bel that he’s not coming too.”
“Thanks, Wyatt,” Aiden murmured and ended the call.
“They love you,” Ronan said as Aiden sat with his eyes closed and leaned his head against the wall.
Aiden smiled and some of the tension eased from his shoulders. “They do. It can be exhausting at times, but I’m blessed to have them. I don’t want them to worry. They’ve found great love and are building amazing lives together. I want all their attention on that. Not me.”
“It could be that they simply want you to have the kind of happiness they’ve found.”
He’d heard something very similar from Winter, and he’d spent the better part of that night and into the day thinking about happiness and what it meant to never risk his heart again.
The sun had been high above the horizon when he’d finally come to a decision that allowed him to fall into a deep sleep at last.
A soft sigh slipped from his parted lips, and he opened his eyes to look at Ronan.
His friend also had his head tilted back, resting on the wall.
His eyes were shut, and he looked at peace.
It was still hard to believe that he was sitting right there, looking nearly the same as he had so many centuries ago.
His hair was shorter but still fell into his eyes.
The bushy beard was missing, revealing smooth cheeks and too-kissable lips.
“What about you?” Aiden softly asked, though as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he wondered if he really wanted to know.
Ronan cracked one eye open and the left side of his mouth quirked higher. “What about me?”
“Did you ever…?”
“Find a great love?” Ronan finished.
“Since becoming a vampire,” Aiden quickly added. He wanted the truth. Not an easy opening to butter Aiden up more about the emotions that had been between them at one time. Well, not that Ronan was likely to describe them as a great love.
“No.” Ronan’s tone was flat, and he closed his eye again.
“In all that time?”
“No. Not even close.” Ronan opened his eyes and stared at Aiden for several seconds. “It’s not like I was celibate. I definitely slept my way around Eastern Europe for most of my first two centuries. Slowed down a bit as I got older.”
Aiden snorted, and a ghost of Ronan’s normal grin returned.
“But I wasn’t looking to be with anyone, and I wasn’t trying to avoid it. No one quite captured my interest like that.”
With his arms resting on his bent knees in front of him, Aiden stared at his empty hands.
It seemed safer to keep his eyes there when the words started tumbling out.
“Julianna Varik had a voice that made me believe in magic. She could charm an angel into tossing aside his halo and woo a devil into giving up his wicked ways. She was intelligent, compassionate, and beautiful. I knew I was lost the first time we spoke.”
“How long ago?” Ronan asked in little more than a whisper, as if he were afraid Aiden would stop talking.
“A little over two hundred years ago in London.”
“Widow?”
Aiden shook his head, smiling to himself. Julianna would have been amused by Ronan’s question. “Opera singer. When we’d met, her paramour had recently set her aside and she had no wish to saddle herself with a new man. She had her four sons and a comfortable income. She treasured her independence.”
“But you won her over.”
“Very, very slowly. It was months before she finally introduced me to her sons.” He lifted his eyes to look at Ronan to see his old friend watching him with a large smile and sadness in his eyes, as if he ached for the pain Aiden had already suffered.
“I’d never been so nervous about anything in my life. ”
“How could they not love you?”
Aiden snorted. “You’ve seen how protective they are of me. They were just as protective of their mother, even at such a young age. Winter couldn’t have been more than seven or eight at the time. The twins were eleven, and Marcus was a very serious thirteen-year-old.”
“Wow,” Ronan whispered, his eyes wide as he pushed one hand through his sweat-damp hair. “You have known them their entire lives.”
Aiden nodded. “And I fell in love with them that first night. They’ve been my whole existence for so long, the boys and Julianna.”
The silence stretched for several seconds while Aiden waited for the vise around his heart to ease its grip. When Aiden could finally drag in a deep breath, Ronan softly spoke, his words sounding hesitant.
“I heard she was murdered…a year ago.”
Aiden grunted. “Part of an attack orchestrated by the Black Wolf Clan. She was trying to protect Ethan. I wasn’t there.
Couldn’t be there.” He scrubbed a hand through his sweaty hair, positive he was leaving it standing up in every direction.
Somewhere along the way in their chase, he’d lost his hat.
“We were together barely two years before she got sick. Doctors were useless. I wish I could say I did it because the boys needed her so badly, but in the end, I wasn’t thinking about them.
I just couldn’t lose her. I turned her, but…
but things went badly. I didn’t see her much after that. It was too dangerous…for everyone.”
“Fuck, Aiden…”
“The boys elected to be turned later when they were older so they could look after her and each other.”
“I’m sorry.”
Aiden nodded, his gaze falling back to his hands. “Thank you. I just wanted you to understand.”
“What?”
Looking up, Aiden stared at his old friend, simply loving the ability to see his face again.
All these words were painful to say, but he needed to get them out, needed Ronan to understand how he’d gotten to this point, and maybe even what he needed to take the next step forward.
“I lost you once. Losing Julianna nearly killed me. My life is good now. My sons are happy. I thought it was enough. I just worry that if I take a chance with you and I lost you again, I don’t know how I’d survive it. ”
To his shock, Ronan rolled over onto his hands and knees and crawled the short distance over, inserting himself between Aiden’s legs.
He braced his hands on either side of Aiden’s head, hovering over him.
Ronan surrounded him, stealing his breath away as he became Aiden’s entire world for a couple of seconds.
“I know what you’re thinking, Aiden. I always have.
You think you can wall your heart off and pour all your focus into ruling and protecting your sons, but it’s not enough.
If Julianna truly loved you, I know she wouldn’t want that for you.
Neither would your sons. I’m not saying that I’m the person you risk your heart on—though I wish you’d consider it—but you do need to try again.
You deserve to be happy and loved as more than just a father. ”
Aiden closed his eyes, soaking in Ronan’s rough, passionate voice.
His warm breath brushed across his temple and Aiden could feel the huge presence of Ronan looming over him.
It was all so overwhelming and wonderful.
Cradled in all this old pain and last night’s soul-searching, he’d found a seed of hope.
“That’s not what I was thinking at all.” He opened his eyes and tipped his head up to see Ronan’s surprised expression.
“Really? What were you—”
“Kiss me,” Aiden breathed. He wanted to try again. Even if the world fell down around him and he lost everything, at least he’d have been brave enough to try.