Chapter 8
LOREN
Meg
Get it girl
This is it. Tonight is the night.
My first time having sex with Josh.
We’ve been dating for a little over month and haven’t moved past third base. Or maybe it’s second base.
Which one is under the clothes again?
Either way, he always puts a stop to things before they get too hot and heavy, saying he wants to take it slow.
Slow is good.
Slow lasts.
You know what else lasts? Being so horny you can’t think straight.
Tonight is going to be different, though. I can feel it in my soul.
The scene has been set: We had a fabulous steak dinner, shared a bottle of expensive wine, and then he asked if he could come up to my apartment with a wicked gleam in his eye.
That flat stomach I’d glimpsed when he was carrying boxes from his great aunt’s house are currently on full display. There’s no “Let’s take it slow” on either of our lips. From the way his tongue assaults mine, it’s clear he wants this as much as I do.
I’ve only hooked up with two guys in my life. William Mattingly: high school flame and long-term boyfriend, and Sean Malloy.
Sex with him was about as exciting as his job.
But this, tonight, is going to be different. I can feel it in my bones and my very, very aroused lady parts.
“You know what we should do?” Josh murmurs between wild kisses, my chest firmly gripped in both his hands.
“What?” I pant against his mouth, so ready. More than ready.
Drawing back, Josh looks deep into my eyes before nudging my head down.
Looks like we’re starting off with a good, old-fashioned blow job. I know a lot of girls don’t like going down there, but I find it empowering. Anything I can do to make my man a weak pile of mush is a win in my book.
The key is enthusiasm.
I’m pretty sure most guys are into it, but if you’re really into it, then it blows their minds.
And I am ready to blow Josh’s mind.
“Oh, yeah,” he groans, keeping hold of my ponytail, urging me to move faster. “You’re so good at that, babe. Fuck. I knew you would be.”
Fire blazes in his hooded brown eyes as he watches me.
I keep going until he gives my hair a tug and tells me to stand up.
Not wanting to look like a slobbering dog, I drag a hand over my swollen lips and do as he asks, standing in front of him in nothing but my matching bra and thong bought specifically for this glorious occasion.
Who needs gas money, right?
Meg and I can always carpool to work if necessary.
Josh scrambles for his wallet and pulls out a condom. Once he’s all set, he drags my underwear down my thighs and settles me on top.
Not my favorite position, but we have time to figure out what feels best for us both.
We fit together well enough, although it’s been quite a while for me so there’s a bit of stinging. The pain should go away soon.
With his hands braced on my hips, he urges me to start moving. Groaning, his eyes roll back in his head as he settles deeper against the pillows. “That feels so good, baby.”
Does it? Because to me it feels like I’m bouncing around on a pogo stick.
“Oh yeah. Right there. Just like that. Keep going.”
I brace my hands on the headboard for purchase and keep going until my thighs start to burn. Wonder if this counts as squats? I’m using the same muscles, right?
Yeah, this totally counts as my workout for the day. I’m even starting to sweat.
Josh’s hold on my waist tightens as he starts to thrust up into me, our bodies meeting with loud smacks. I try to tilt forward to get a bit more friction, but he keeps pushing me back because he “wants to see my tits bounce.”
Not really the romantic, first-time vibe I was hoping for, but we can chat about it later.
His eyes squeeze shut. “I’m almost there.”
What? No! He can’t be there yet. I’m not even close.
I try to slow down, make it last, but he’s having none of it.
Three more thrusts and I can feel him pulsing inside me.
I know I’m gaping down at him, but I honestly can’t figure out what else to do when he nudges me off and rolls over onto his side to remove the condom, letting it drop to the floor.
First: Ew.
Second: Is he serious?
“That was so good,” he mumbles, scratching his chest as his eyes fall closed.
For him maybe. I’m kneeling here feeling pretty freaking unsatisfied.
I could blame these unrealistic expectations on romance novels, but I know for a fact that sex should be more than this. Even Sean put in the effort.
It rarely worked, but at least he tried.
I poke Josh’s shoulder. “I need to talk to you.”
His response is a snore.
That’s right. A freaking snore.
“Josh!” I whap his arm as hard as I can.
He shoots upright, his head whipping this way and that before his unfocused eyes land on me. “What is it? What’s wrong? Sorry, babe. I must’ve fallen asleep.”
No shit. They could hear him snoring in Texas.
He falls back down with a sigh. “I’m sorry. I’m just so tired. Work is killing me.”
He’s been putting in twelve-hour days getting ready for some big case. How can I expect a sex god when he can barely keep his eyes open?
That must be the problem. Next time will be better.
It certainly can’t be worse.
I tell him its fine and climb off the bed to snag my robe from the hook, slipping the cool silk around my shoulders.
Josh is already asleep again, so he doesn’t see me grab my phone and escape onto my balcony to call Meg, who answers on the third ring because she was almost as excited about tonight as I was.
“Well? Did you do it? Tell me you did it.”
I hold my phone away from my ear so her squealing doesn’t rupture my eardrum. “We did.”
“And? Was it everything you dreamed it would be? I need all the details.”
I grimace at the stars. “He fell asleep right after.”
“Ugh. I hate when that happens. Did he at least get you off?”
I wish. “He didn’t even try.”
Silence ensues.
If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s silence. “But it’s totally fine. He’s just really tired from work.”
“Okay, I don’t know this guy and I understand you’re head over heels or whatever, but I’m going to tell you here and now that if you decide to ever hook up with him again and the same thing happens, you’ve gotta cut and run, sister.”
Is she right?
I mean, sex isn’t the only indicator of a healthy relationship, but it’s certainly a big part for me. I don’t want to end up with someone who doesn’t even try.
I glance back into my apartment, where Josh is panned out on my bed.
Have I been wrong about him all this time?
Soft chords of the Rolling Stones “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” lift behind me.
Slowly I turn, my stomach sinking when I see a shadowy figure on the next balcony over. “Hey, Meg. I gotta go.”
“See you tomorrow. Love you, girl.”
“Love you too.” I end the call and clench the phone in my fist. If I didn’t need it, I’d throw the thing at my neighbor’s smirking face. “You’re such an asshole.”
Elliott’s deep chuckle washes over me, lifting the hair at the back of my neck. “Sounds like I’m not the only one.”
I cinch the tie at my waist a little tighter. “You know, most people would be polite and not eavesdrop on someone else’s private conversation.” Or at least pretend they didn’t hear. Honestly. Who raised this man?
“Most people would make sure they’re alone before they have a private conversation. I was out here first.”
He has me there—not that I’ll ever admit it. “Don’t you have anything better to do?”
He lifts what looks like a bottle of beer to his smirking lips. “Nope.”
Of course he doesn’t. Why would I be left in peace when I could be plagued by Elliott instead?
I glance back through my door to see if sleeping beauty woke up yet.
Looks like my boyfriend is out for the count.
As tired as I am, I really don’t feel like going back in there and listening to him snore and there isn’t room for us both on the single bed.
Narrowing my eyes, I watch Elliott take another sip. “Turn down that music.” Wouldn’t want Mick Jagger’s singing to ruin Josh’s nap.
Damn, that beer looks good. So good, in fact, that I’m willing to endure my neighbor’s presence if it means I can drown myself in alcohol. “You have another one of those?”
“Nope. This is the last one.”
Thanks for nothing, I guess.
Elliott turns down the volume on his phone, stands, and drifts over to his railing to hand me the bottle. “But from what I heard in there, you need it more than I do.”
Normally, I wouldn’t drink after someone else, but this guy is right. I need a drink.
The bottle is still cold when I wrap my fingers around the glass and take a deep swallow.
I really thought Josh was perfect. It’s like he distracted me with his smile and his shoulders, and my brain malfunctioned—
From what I heard in there…
Elliott’s comment strikes like lightning.
My hand tightens, squeezing the bottle almost hard enough to shatter the damn thing. “What do you mean, what you heard ‘in there?’”
Elliott leans closer, resting his elbows on the railing between our units. “Let’s just say that the next time you decide to have sex, you should probably close the window.”
Looks like this night can get worse.
I drink until the final drop of beer splashes down my throat only to realize this isn’t going to cut it.
I need something stronger and then I need to pack up my things and move far, far away from this guy.
“I can’t believe you listened to me having sex.
” I thought him overhearing my conversation was embarrassing.
“Sorry. I didn’t realize you were having sex too. All I could hear was your boyfriend moaning.”
“You’re a creep. You know that, right?”
With a chuckle, Elliot pushes off the railing and disappears inside his apartment. I wait for him to return, but he never does.
When I head back inside, Josh is still asleep in the middle of the bed, so I end up curling up on the floor with a spare blanket. A couple minutes later, Radiohead’s “Creep” seeps through the shared wall.
I really shouldn’t smile, but my lips don’t get the memo.
I guess I can’t be too annoyed that Elliott overheard me. I mean, I’ve heard him and his plethora of women more times than I care to remember.
I only wish I’d been the one moaning instead of Josh.