36. Chapter Thirty Six
Chapter Thirty Six
Donna
The sound of the heartbeat coming from the monitor fills the room.
I clutch Lorenzo’s hand tighter and stare at the screen, terrified to look anywhere else.
There is something unbearable about sitting here with nothing to do except listen. Every beat seems too important, and I find myself holding my breath between them even though they keep coming rapidly, one after another.
They seem so fast. Are they too fast?
Is this normal?
My fingers are wrapped so tightly around his that my knuckles ache, but the discomfort barely registers.
I have not let go of his hand. I don't think I could if I tried.
The only sound in the room is the machine. I haven't said a word since it was turned on.
I am afraid that if I open my mouth, I won't be able to hold it together any longer, and everything will just come spilling out at once.
I keep my eyes fixed on the monitor instead, searching the shifting image for something I understand.
The woman sitting on the stool in front of the machine makes another adjustment, her attention focused on the screen while I wait for her to tell us what she sees.
My stomach twists.
“Is it…” My breath hitches, and I have to try again. “Is everything okay?”
She glances at me, then smiles.
“Everything looks exactly as it should.”
The breath leaves me so quickly that my eyes burn.
Lorenzo’s hand turns beneath mine at last, his fingers closing firmly around mine.
I look at him.
He is staring at the monitor with an expression I have never seen on his face before.
Then the woman points toward the grainy image on the screen.
“And that,” she says, “is your baby’s heartbeat.”
For several seconds, neither of us moves.
The sound that has had me wound so tightly fills the room again, impossibly fast and impossibly small.
Our baby.
I stare at the screen.
I let out a laugh that ends in a sob.
“Oh, my God.”
Lorenzo looks at me then, and the expression on his face nearly undoes me all over again. His eyes are bright as he brings my hand to his mouth and presses a kiss to my knuckles.
“That is our baby,” he says quietly.
I nod because speaking without blubbering is apparently impossible.
The technician smiles and turns the screen slightly more toward us, but I can barely process what I am seeing beyond that tiny flicker she pointed out.
A heartbeat.
Our baby has a heartbeat.
I swipe quickly beneath my eyes with my free hand and laugh again when that only seems to make them worse.
“This is ridiculous.”
Lorenzo’s mouth curves, but he looks just as affected as I feel. “I was not going to say anything.”
“You were thinking it.”
“The only thing I was thinking is that you are very beautiful when you cry.”
“You are such a bad liar.”
“I'm a great liar, but that was not a lie.”
The technician gives us a small smile before turning back to the screen, and I look at it with her, trying to memorize every indistinct little detail even though I have no idea what half of them mean.
“How far along did you say I am?”
“Based on the measurements, you’re right where I’d expect you to be from the dates you gave us,” she says.
I look at Lorenzo. “So my frantic counting in the back of the SUV was accurate.”
His brows lift. “Approximately three seconds before somebody ran us off the road.”
The technician pauses and looks between us.
I clear my throat. “Long story,” I say sheepishly.
Lorenzo’s thumb strokes across my knuckles. “For another day.”
The technician wisely lets that go and turns back to the monitor.
“I’m going to take a few more measurements, and then I’ll get some images printed for you.”
She moves the wand again, and the image shifts a little on the screen.
“There’s the head,” she says, pointing. “And if you look right here, you can see the little arm.”
I stare harder. “That’s an arm?”
“It is.”
“It looks like a bean.”
“A very beautiful bean,” Lorenzo says.
I turn my head toward him. “You’re biased.”
“Completely.”
The technician finishes the last of the measurements, then finally switches off the sound of the heartbeat. The sudden quiet feels strange, and I want to tell her to turn it back on. It wasn't nearly enough.
I look at the screen one more time before she moves the machine away.
“So everything really looks okay?”
“Everything looks good.”
Relief washes over me all over again.
The technician hands me a towel and steps out to give me a minute to clean up and get dressed.
The second the door closes, Lorenzo leans down and kisses me passionately. His hand cups my jaw while the other slides to the back of my neck, and the kiss is deep and slow and full of everything we could not say in front of a stranger.
When he pulls back, his forehead rests against mine. "Did you hear that heartbeat?" he whispers. "Already so strong." He pulls back enough to look at me. "Like its mother."
Tears well in my eyes again. "There you go again, making me cry."
He wipes them away with his thumb. "Tesoro mio," he murmurs.
"Last week, I watched you take down armed men, run through gunfire, barricade yourself in a building against people trying to kill us, and then put a bullet between Marcello Greco’s eyes before he could take a shot at me. All without batting an eye."
I sniff and look at him through wet eyes. “So?”
He brushes another tear from my cheek. "But this makes you cry?"
"This is different."
His mouth curves. "Clearly."
“This is… a baby,” I say, teary and defensive.
“Our baby.” He kisses me again, softer this time. “I am already more in love than I thought possible.”
“Good,” I say, “because I don't think this crying thing is going to stop.”
He laughs. “I think I can live with it.”
“You say that now, but in six months…”
“I will love you still.” He smiles.
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
I let out a breath. “Crying is exhausting. I don't know how people do it. Here, help me up.” I hold out my hand.
Lorenzo takes my hand and helps me sit up, keeping hold of me until my feet are firmly on the floor.
“I’m going to get dressed,” I say, reaching for my clothes. “Then once we have the pictures, we can get out of here.”
“And tell everyone the news.”
“Officially.” I smile despite the sting in my eyes. “Which means your entire family is probably going to lose their minds.”
“They will.”
“But first we have to tell Mocha he’s going to be a big brother.”
Lorenzo laughs. “I think he’ll handle it well.”
“He better. He has responsibilities now.”
But before I get dressed, I stand there for a moment and just look at Lorenzo.
“We’re really doing this,” I whisper.
He steps closer until there is barely any space between us.
“Yes,” he says. “We are.”
I look down at my stomach, then back at him. “That is completely terrifying.”
His hand covers my stomach, though there's nothing there to feel yet. “Yes, it is. But at the same time, I'm looking forward to every minute of it.”
“Me too.”
I cover his hand with mine, and we stand there like that for a minute. It feels like one of those moments you remember forever.
It will certainly be one of mine.
After I finish getting dressed, I smooth down the front of my shirt and look up at Lorenzo.
“Okay,” I say. “Let’s get the pictures of our beautiful bean so we can finally show them off.”
He smiles. “I can’t wait.”