Chapter 9 #3
They sat there in the front seat of her K-9 vehicle, and Maddox let herself be held. She let herself need someone.
It terrified her.
And it was also the only thing keeping her together.
Eventually, Jade pulled back slightly. "Are you okay to drive? I can have someone take you home."
"No. I'm okay." Maddox's voice came out steadier now. "I just needed a minute."
"Take as long as you need." Jade squeezed her hand. "I should get back to the family, but text me later?"
"Yeah."
Jade hesitated, then leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Maddox's temple, then she was gone, slipping out of the vehicle and heading back toward the house.
Maddox sat alone in the driver's seat, Zeus watching her from his compartment. Her hands had stopped shaking, and breathing had evened out, but something changed within her.
She’d needed Jade, and she’d reached for her without thinking. More surprisingly, Jade had been there for her.
That should terrify her more than it did.
Maddox started the engine and keyed the radio. "Unit 12 clearing scene. Resuming patrol."
The rest of the shift passed in a blur of routine calls that required nothing from her but presence.
There was a noise complaint on Foxglove Street, a welfare check on an elderly woman whose neighbor hadn't seen her in days (she was fine, just visiting her daughter), and a fender bender at the intersection of Fourth and Pine where both drivers were more embarrassed than injured.
Maddox went through the motions and filled out reports, writing in the clipped, professional tone that had become second nature. But Connor's voice followed her through every call, every interaction, every quiet moment between radio dispatches.
She'd texted Jade once more before the end of her shift.
Maddox: “Still good for tonight?”
The response came immediately.
Jade: “Always. Come whenever you're ready.”
Now Maddox stood in her own kitchen, Zeus's bowl on the floor as he ate his dinner with the single-minded focus he brought to everything.
The apartment was quiet except for the sound of him crunching kibble and the hum of the refrigerator, the same quiet she'd lived in for six years, the same solitude that had felt safe.
Except it didn’t feel as safe anymore, and the hollowness pressed in around her.
Maddox moved to the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting the water heat while she peeled off her uniform.
The mirror showed the same face she'd seen this morning: short dark hair sticking up where she'd run her hands through it, dark eyes that looked more tired than they should, the faint scar through her left eyebrow that she'd stopped noticing years ago.
Nothing had changed.
Everything had changed.
She stepped under the spray and let the water beat against her shoulders, washing away the afternoon's sweat and tension. But Connor's words stayed with her, and under them was Jade's voice: I've got you. You're okay.
Maddox pressed her forehead against the tile. She'd broken down today. Not just gotten emotional, actually cracked open in front of Jade, let herself be held, and admitted she needed someone. And Jade hadn’t run.
The thought should be comforting. Instead, it terrified her in ways she couldn't fully comprehend.
She finished showering and dried off, pulling on clean clothes—dark jeans, a gray henley, her leather jacket. Zeus had finished eating and was watching her from his spot by the couch. He knew something was different. She never went out on weeknights unless work called her back in.
"Yeah, I know," Maddox said, grabbing her keys from the counter. "I'm acting weird."
Zeus's tail thumped once against the floor in his patient, non-judgmental way. She sat down on the couch beside him, and he immediately moved closer, pressing his solid warmth against her leg. Maddox buried her hand in his fur, grounding herself in what was familiar.
"She's different," she said quietly. Zeus's ear twitched, listening. "This whole thing is different."
He huffed softly.
"I think—" Maddox stopped, the words catching in her throat. She made herself say them anyway, even if only Zeus would hear. "I think I'm falling in love with her."
The admission hung in the air between them. Zeus looked at her with those steady brown eyes that had seen her at her worst and never judged her for it.
"Yeah, I know," Maddox continued, her voice rough. "It's too much too fast. What if I need her more than she needs me? What if she sees how broken I actually am and realizes she made a mistake?"
Zeus leaned harder against her leg.
"What if I can't be what she needs?" The fear felt sharper in her chest now that she'd given it voice. "Leah left because I couldn't let her in. And I'm letting Jade in, but what if that's not enough? What if I'm still too damaged?"
Zeus whined softly, and Maddox realized her hand had tightened in his fur. She loosened her grip, smoothing down the hair she'd ruffled.
"But she knows," she said, more to herself than to him. "She knows about Titan. She knows about the PTSD. She saw me lose it today at work, and she didn't run." Maddox paused, letting that truth settle. "She knows the damage, and she's choosing me anyway."
That should terrify her. Part of it did, actually. But another part—the part that had reached for Jade in the K-9 vehicle without thinking—felt something else. Relief, maybe, or hope. Perhaps both.
Zeus's tail thumped again, and Maddox managed a small smile. "You like Jade, too, don't you?"
His ears perked up at Jade's name, and the smile on Maddox's face grew slightly wider despite the anxiety twisting in her gut.
“Yeah, me too.”
She stood, and Zeus rose with her, following her to the door. She crouched down, running both hands through his fur, memorizing the solid comfort of him.
"I'll be back later," she said. "Or tomorrow morning. Don't judge."
Zeus's expression—and Maddox could read him better than anyone—seemed distinctly non-judgmental. He'd always been better at accepting things as they were than she had. Maddox grabbed her keys and headed out, locking the door behind her.
The drive to Jade's apartment was familiar now; she'd made it three times this week already. Down Cottonwood to Fifth, left on Maple, right on Cedar, then pull into the apartment complex with the blue trim that desperately needed repainting.
She knew the route, knew the parking spot she preferred near the back entrance, knew the stairwell that smelled faintly of cleaning products and the third step that squeaked.
This had become a routine without her consciously realizing. The thought made her hands tighten on the steering wheel. She parked and killed the engine, but didn't get out immediately. Just sat there in the darkness, watching the lit windows of Jade's building.
This wasn't about sex; that wasn't why her heart was racing. It had everything to do with showing up after breaking down, about being seen at her most vulnerable and choosing to come back anyway.
It was about not running, even when everything in her screamed to hide.
Maddox took a steadying breath and got out of her truck. The evening air was cooler now, carrying the smell of someone's barbecue from a few buildings over. The kind of normal, mundane activities that continued while she stood on the precipice of something that felt too big to name.
She climbed the stairs, her footsteps echoing in the stairwell. Up to the second floor, turn left, third door on the right. She'd been here enough times that she didn't need to check the numbers anymore.
Maddox stood outside Jade's door and just breathed for a moment, the same technique that kept her grounded when everything felt like too much.
She knocked decisively, and the door opened almost immediately, as if Jade had been waiting for her by the door.
She stood there in yoga pants and an oversized sweater that hung off one shoulder, and her hair was down and still slightly damp like she'd showered recently.
"Hey," Jade said softly.
"Hey." Maddox's voice came out softer than she expected.
"Come in."
Maddox stepped inside, and Jade closed the door behind her. The apartment smelled like jasmine tea and something reminiscent of banana bread baking, the kind of domestic comfort Maddox hadn't let herself want in years.
They stood there in the small entryway, neither moving closer. Jade was giving her space and letting her set the pace, always reading her, always knowing what she needed even when Maddox didn’t know herself.
“How are you doing?” Jade asked, cutting through the small talk.
Maddox considered lying, considered saying “fine” or “good” or any of the deflections that had carried her through the past six years. But the truth was she was tired of lying, tired of pretending she didn’t need this.
“Been better,” she said honestly. “Been worse.”
Jade nodded, accepting that answer. “You want tea? I just made some.”
“Sure.”
They moved into the kitchen, and Maddox leaned against the counter while Jade poured two mugs. The routine and normalcy of it helped settle something in Maddox’s chest. This was okay. She could be here; she was allowed to need this.
Jade handed her a mug, and their fingers brushed.
“Thank you,” Maddox said. “For earlier, at the scene.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“I do.” Maddox wrapped both hands around the warm ceramic. “I needed that, needed you, and you were there.”
“I’ll always be there.” Jade said it simply like it was a fact, like there was no question.
Maddox met her eyes. Jade wasn’t looking at her with pity or concern, just unwavering presence. The same way Zeus looked at her, the same way no one else ever had.
“I’m falling in love with you,” Maddox said. The words came out before fear could swallow them.
Jade went very still. Her expression didn’t change, but something shifted behind her eyes. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Maddox’s heart was pounding, but she didn’t look away. She took Maddox’s mug, too, setting it aside, and then her hands came up to frame Maddox’s face gently.
“It’s not too much,” Jade said quietly. “And it’s not too fast. Not for me.”
“You sure about that?” Maddox’s voice cracked slightly. “Because I’m a mess, Jade. Today proved that. That kid said things that I’ve thought, and I fell apart, and—”
“And you did your job perfectly,” Jade interrupted. “You saved that kid. You got him to come down, you kept him safe, and then you let yourself feel it afterward instead of shoving it down and pretending like you were fine.” Her thumbs brushed along Maddox’s jaw. “That’s healing.”
Maddox closed her eyes. The words hit somewhere deep, in a place she’d kept locked for too long.
“I’m scared,” she admitted. “Of this. Of needing you. Of what happens if—”
“I know.” Jade’s voice was soft. “I’m scared too.”
Maddox’s eyes widened. “You are?”
“Of course I am.” Jade smiled and laughed. “This matters. You matter. That’s terrifying.”
They stood there in Jade’s small kitchen, their foreheads resting against each other, breathing the same air. Outside, the world continued, but here, in this moment, there was just them.
Jade’s hand found Maddox’s, their fingers threading together. “Stay tonight?”
“Yeah.” Maddox squeezed her hand. “I want to.”
“Good.”
They moved to the couch, settling in beside each other. Jade pulled a blanket over both of them, and Maddox let herself lean into the warmth, let herself be held.
Let herself need someone, even though it still terrified her, but maybe that was okay. Maybe choosing to stay despite the fear was exactly the point.
Jade’s hand moved through her hair, slow and steady, and Maddox felt some of the day’s tension finally release. Connor was safe, she’d done her job, and now she was here with someone who saw all of her—the healing parts and still-broken parts—and chose her anyway.
“Thank you,” Maddox said quietly.
“For what?”
“For being here and not running when I—” She couldn’t finish, but she knew Jade would understand.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Jade said, and Maddox believed her.
Maddox sat there wrapped in Jade’s arms as evening deepened into night, and for the first time in longer than Maddox could remember, the quiet didn’t feel hollow.
She was home.