Chapter 4
chapter four
Books had a very specific smell. Older books smelled the best, but I definitely didn’t mind the scent of newer ones. I loved being surrounded by it almost every day, sticking myself in an entire building dedicated to it.
Pride and Pages was small enough that I still struggled to keep up with social media trends, hoping one of my videos would pop off, but known enough that I could keep my head above water with expenses.
I’d always been ambitious, and it’d definitely paid off.
I was just glad I didn’t go with my original idea to become a librarian—the Dewey Decimal System would’ve done me in.
I rolled the cart in front of the shelf, looking up at all the empty spaces. Should I have put these in alphabetical order on the cart before I wheeled them out? Probably. Did I? No, because why would I ever be organized and efficient?
This was why I usually let Andros restock. He had a whole system down pat, and I never bothered to learn it. I preferred to let chaos and natural consequences take over, despite how much frustration it usually gave me.
This shelf was pretty bare—a total of fifteen empty spots waiting to be filled.
I smiled as I picked up a book, eyeing the author’s name.
Thankfully, I’d read almost all of his work, meaning I knew exactly where to shelve it.
No need to compare the eleven others on the cart and hope I didn’t have to rearrange everything when I realized there were two J names waiting when I’d started putting L names up.
Controlled chaos, I liked to call it.
“Need your glasses, boss?”
I jumped back, turning my head to Andros. “You scared the shit out of me.”
He smiled. “I could tell. Want me to take that over? I see you didn’t organize them. Again. For the millionth time.”
“I’ve got it.” I shooed him away with my hand. “You go man the counter. I can handle this.”
One of his purple eyebrows raised as he crossed his arms. “Uh huh. Why do I doubt that?”
“I don’t know, but you should have more faith in me. I haven’t let the store down yet, have I?”
He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. The way he put his hands up in defeat and slowly walked away with sass in his stride told me everything I needed to know.
Well, I wasn’t going to admit defeat, nor was I going to admit that I did need my glasses, either.
I just had to hold the books out in front of me a bit farther than I would’ve without them.
I hated wearing my glasses. I usually only wore them when I was actually reading, or if I needed to do some computer work.
I squinted at the rows of books on the cart with the spines facing me, mentally going through the entire alphabet. I landed on the J names, picking up a book by Manuel Jackson. I stared at the cover, shamelessly admiring the shirtless cover model in the background.
The model looked a lot like Jack, the more I looked at him.
I regretted not insisting on at least exchanging numbers with him.
I thought we had a good thing going. I mean, we were obviously intimately compatible, and we’d had a nice, civil chat the next morning, like we could’ve become friends.
I wasn’t going to admit my disappointment to his face, but I definitely felt it.
I understood where he was coming from, though.
I guess I was more selfish than I’d usually let on, since all I could think about was going to Driftwood and asking him on a formal date.
If we went on a date, it wouldn’t be a one-night stand anymore, right?
So, by that logic, maybe he’d be alright seeing each other again. Maybe.
Yeah, that didn’t make any sense, either. I knew I should just let it go—let him go—but I found it far easier said than done. He was on my mind all the time, which probably wasn’t a good thing.
Fuck, the way he’d whimpered beneath me. The way he took my banter so easily. The way he took my cock like it was made for him. Jack was a dream come true, and I wanted to sleep just so I could dream of him again. Was that too much to ask for? Probably.
“Um, excuse me?”
I shelved the book I had in my hand, hoping it was the right spot, and turned to the woman. “Hi, did you need some help looking for something?”
She tucked her hair behind her ear, nodding. “Yeah, if you’re not busy. I was wondering if you could point me toward the sapphic section? If you guys have one. Or where they might be.”
“For sure. Follow me.” I took her up the aisle, closer to the front, and turned to the right.
I looked down the rows, stopping in front of the sign I was looking for.
“Here you go. This and the row behind it are all sapphic novels.” I waved my hand up and down.
“We have spotlights for BIPOC representation as well along these shelves.”
“Oh, wow. This is a lot, thank you. Are they…” She trailed off as she touched one of the placards at the end of each smaller section. “They’re split up by genre too. Thanks!”
I smiled and nodded, leaving her to browse to her heart’s content. Only a few more books to put up, and I’d be able to order some more and then leave Andros to finish out the day. Maybe I should stop by Driftwood and see if Jack still had my shirt…
That’d be reasonable. Expected, even. I’d told him I was going to, I just hadn’t said when. Even though it’d been almost a week, it should be fine. At least, that’s what I was telling myself.
I made my way back to the front with an empty rolling cart and waited for Andros to finish checking the woman from earlier out. She’d bought three books and one of our cute rainbow planners we set out at the front.
Once she left, we were all alone. I leaned over the counter, right as Andros started messing with his bright, neat purple hair.
“Do you think it’d be weird of me to show up at a dude’s work to ask for the shirt he borrowed from me and then try to get him to go out with me even though he said he didn’t do repeats? ”
He paused, hand mid-air, as he slowly turned to me. “Probably, yeah. Why do you think he’ll say yes to a date if he said he doesn’t do repeats?”
“‘Cause it wouldn’t be another one-night stand. It’d be a date. No hanky panky.”
Andros snorted. “Hanky panky. What are you, fourteen?”
I rolled my eyes. “Maybe you should be nicer to the person who finalizes your paychecks. Ever thought about that?”
“No. But my point still stands, boss. It’d probably be weird, and I don’t think it’d go well. How good was the sex?”
I’d thought about it at least a dozen times over, all in slow motion from the moment I’d talked to him at the bar. Every move of his body, every tingle in mine, every breath we’d shared. “Life changing.”
Andros shrugged. “Then maybe it’s worth a shot. Don’t get your hopes up.”
“You’re the best. I’ll put in an order and head out.”
“At least no one can ever say you aren’t determined.”
I laughed at that. I’d always been ambitious. I’d always chased my dreams, no matter how difficult the path seemed to be.
If Jack was still in my dreams, then maybe I needed to chase him.
Driftwood Jack’s wasn’t very busy, which I expected since it was still daytime. I assumed they’d get a lot busier throughout the night. I still wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, but I was already committed to it.
If rejection was in my future, then so be it.
I could handle rejection—I couldn’t handle the idea of him swimming around in my brain for this long and me not even trying to do something about it.
There must’ve been a reason for it. For the way we’d connected so easily, taking to each other easily like we’d known each other for years despite never having met each other.
I was used to hookups needing more communication and bumping heads. I’d never met someone who bared themselves that easily and that freely, taking each step by storm as if we’d done it a hundred times over.
So, I walked right through the doors and scanned the room, spotting Jack at the bar like I’d been hoping. He was wrist-deep cleaning out a glass, talking to the other guy who worked there. I started off on a march, far too eager to talk to Jack before I realized I probably looked weird doing that.
My mission wasn’t to scare him off. It was actually to do the opposite. Stay cool, Forrest. Stay cool.
I cleared my throat as I approached the bar, slowly sitting on one of the stools. I waited for Jack to turn his head before smiling at him. “You look familiar.”
“Mr. Castillo. What a surprise seeing you here again.”
I shrugged and tucked some hair behind my ear, hoping I still looked cool and nonchalant. “I said I’d come back for my shirt, didn’t I? I’ve been busy with work.”
Jack tilted his head a little. “I didn’t think you’d be busy for this long. I’m afraid I don’t have it with me.”
“What a shame. Maybe you could bring it to dinner with you.”
One of his eyebrows rose, his eyes widening. The light caught them perfectly, the green in them damn near twinkling. Ugh, I could stare at them for a very long time. “Dinner?”
I put my elbows on the bar, resting my chin in my palms. “Yeah, dinner. Me and you. Your choice of restaurant, I’ll pay, drop you off at your house, where I’ll give you a quick goodnight kiss, and then I’ll drive away like a gentleman. Don’t worry, I’ll text you the next day.”
“I never agreed to dinner.”
“Oh, did you not?”
He rolled his eyes and ran a hand over his chin. “You never asked. You seem to have just assumed.”
“Where are my manners?” I let one of my arms fall to the bar, resting my cheek on my other palm, looking up at him. “Will you go to dinner with me? Limited package this time, though.”
“Limited package? What does that entail?”
“No hanky panky.”
He blinked at me a couple of times before laughing. Why did that phrase make people laugh? “I’m not sure what kind of impression I gave you when we last saw each other, but I’m going to have to take a rain check on that.”
Well, he said, “rain check” and not “no forever.” Maybe I still had a chance later? I sure hoped I did. “Fair enough, buttercup.”
“Buttercup? You are just full of surprises.”
“Not really. I’m a pretty boring guy.”
“I wouldn’t peg you for a boring guy.”
I trailed my gaze down the slope of his nose, taking in every tiny detail on his face.
I knew what his cheeks looked like with a light blush on them.
I knew what his mouth looked like when his lips were parted, my name a moan on his tongue.
I knew exactly what lines deepened on his skin when his brows came together, and his eyes squeezed shut, and he came all over my bed while he screamed my name.
Fucking screamed. The only thing different was the slight beard he had now.
I’d just have to try again another day, which wasn’t a hardship for me in the slightest. I wanted to know Jack Manning beneath the surface he’d given me.
Jesus, I’d had crushes before, but never like this. That had to mean something. It had to, or else I’d need to be seriously concerned.
I hummed. “I’m a bit much, but I live a fairly boring life. What about you? Are you boring? I wouldn’t think so from the glimpse I got, but everyone is a little different outside the bedroom.”
Jack sighed, stepping back a little. Shit, had I pried too much too fast? “Forrest, the other night was fun. But do you realize how old I am?”
I glanced to the side, furrowing my brows. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“I know you didn’t just say that.” He groaned. “I’m almost forty. What are you, twenty-eight?”
“Twenty-six,” I mumbled.
“Oh, God. I am far too old for you. What year were you even born?” I started to answer, but he cut me off. “I actually don’t even want to know. My point is, absolutely not.”
I frowned at him, leaning back on the stool. “Oh, okay, you don’t date younger men. You only fuck them.”
“What could you possibly have in common with a thirty-nine-year-old?”
“I don’t know. Why can’t we find out?”
He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before opening them again. “You’re determined, aren’t you?”
“I’ve been told that I’m ambitious. And that I’m a little chaotic. But mostly ambitious and determined.”
“I can tell.” He nodded behind me. “Go home, Forrest. Come back tomorrow for your shirt. I’ve got it washed and folded at home.”
I stood from the barstool, resting my palm on top of it and feeling the wooden grain beneath it. “You didn’t have to wash it. I’d have preferred it if it still smelled like you.”
Seeing him try to hide his smile made it all worth it. I’d definitely be back tomorrow, and though I planned to tread carefully, the way he was talking still gave me room for a tiny bit of hope.