Chapter 16
chapter sixteen
River smacked around the sucker in his mouth, pushing it into his cheek. I hated the sound of it clanging against his teeth, but if I told him that, he’d only do it louder. “So you’re falling for the guy, and he’s totally unavailable. You really are hopeless.”
I stood upright, pushing my glasses onto my head, and scrunched my nose at him. “And you really are an asswipe. If Mami and Papi hadn’t tried so hard to have you, I promise I would’ve given them more hell just to stay an only child.”
“The feelings mutual.”
“You weren’t even born. How would that have worked?”
“I’d have figured it out. I’m the smart brother, don’t you know?”
Andros sauntered through, standing by one of the boxes I’d opened. “Riv, are you ever going to let him work?”
River pulled the sucker out of his mouth with a loud, nasty pop. “Nope. What’s the fun in that? Oh, hey, have you seen this mystery lover boy bitch face over here is obsessed over?”
I gave him a middle finger. “Can you stop antagonizing everything and everyone in my life?”
“Oh, I’ve seen him.” Andros completely ignored me. Asshole. “I get it. He’s hot. And older.”
River raised an eyebrow, glancing between Andros and me. “How much older?”
I groaned, pointing to the door. “Get out. I don’t wanna have this conversation, and I don’t want Andros to have it with you either. I have a store to run.”
“That’s my cue to go.” Andros threw his hands up. “Have fun, boss man. Camila is about to come in and take over for me.”
“Look what you’ve done, Riv. You’ve run off my employee.”
“How is that my fault?” He bit down on his sucker obnoxiously, pulling it out of his mouth half-bitten. “I think that was all you, broseph.”
He was going to break me. Truly break me. “Don’t call me broseph. Please, for the love of Saint Monica herself, don’t call me that.”
“Oh, wow. You’re bringing in the saint of patience. I must really be getting on your nerves.”
“You are.”
“Good. I’m doing my job right. But seriously, how much older is he?”
Exasperated, I sighed and squatted to the ground, shuffling through the box. “Why do you want to know so badly?”
His words were muffled around the candy. “Because I wanna know about you and what you’re getting into. If you’re going to have a new boyfriend, I want to know who he is. If you’re gonna get your heart broken, I wanna know who he is. Common decency, or something like that. I don’t know.”
I let myself fall onto the floor as I started searching for my glasses. I could never keep them in one place. “He turns forty at the end of the month.”
River coughed. Loudly. “Forty! Forty? Holy fucking shit. Forty? Like four zero? Nah, no fucking way, bro.”
“Don’t start.” I grimaced. “Where are my fucking glasses?”
“On your head, dumbass.”
I reached up, finding them tucked in my hair. “Oh. Thanks.”
“He’s over a decade older than you. What the hell could you have in common?”
“Shut up. I like him. We have a lot in common.” At least, I thought so. We got along really well both under the sheets and out of them. “His age isn’t a factor for me.”
“It should be.”
“Well, it isn’t. End of story. You don’t get a say in who I do or don’t date.”
He sat down next to me. “So you’re dating, then? It isn’t just sex anymore?”
I stayed silent for a second, picking out books and putting them into a stack. River noticed, because of course he did, deciding to nudge my shoulder annoyingly until I finally said something. “I’m working on it.”
“You really like him, don’t you?”
How could I not? When all I saw was peace when I looked in his eyes. Peace, submission, and something else so fucking intoxicating, yet I had no idea what to call it. Desire, maybe? “Yeah. I do. But I think he’s scared.”
River tightened the stacks after me as I went. Mine were a bit wonky, honestly. “Of what? Commitment?”
“That and something else. Something deeper. I’m not sure what, but it’s enough to terrify him.”
“You’ll figure it out. You always do.”
I turned the box over, tearing it down the middle to break it down. “I know I will. I just hope he does, too.”
“If anyone can help him face his fears, it’s you. You’re, like, really good at helping people. Making them feel safe or whatever. So. Yeah. I think you’ll both be fine.”
I had to pause for a second. River was being nice to me. It was a bit stilted, but he was still being nice unprompted. He never did that. “Thanks, Riv.”
He stood up and threw the stick from his sucker into the trash. “Ew. Don’t be weird about it. You almost ready?”
“Yep. We need to stop by the flower shop on the way.”
“Mami will be happy to see us both under her roof at the same time. I wonder what she’s cooking.”
All I had left to do was alphabetize the books and put them on the rolling cart for Camila to shelve. This was where my glasses came in handy the most. “I don’t know, but I’m starving. Shouldn’t be much longer. Take my keys and go wait in the car or something.”
For all the grief he gave me, I still loved him enough to drive him around places. Did that make me a good big brother? Or did that make me an enabler? I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t really want to know either. As long as he stopped shoving his nose into my business, then we’d be fine.
Mamá smiled big and bright as I handed her the bouquet of cempasúchil.
I loved seeing her smile. She pulled me into a big hug, smelling like a combination of poblano peppers, onions, and an array of other spices.
It was always such a comforting smell. “Beautiful. These will be perfect for the ofrenda, thank you.”
“Anything for you and Papi.” I gave her a kiss on her cheek. “It smells delicious in here.”
“Yeah,” River butted in, waltzing straight for the kitchen. “What did you make?”
Mamá rolled her eyes but followed him. I was right on her heel, picking up the scent before she even said anything. “Sopa poblano. Your brother’s favorite.”
River scowled. “Why his favorite? What’s so special about him?”
I punched the air, racing to grab a bowl from the cupboard. “She loves me more than she loves you, that’s what.”
“Can you be nice for one meal, huh? Going to give me a heart attack one day.” Mamá shook her head.
“Yeah, Riv, be nice to me.”
“Fuck off.”
“What did I say? Sit. Both of you.”
I was about to ladle some of the soup into my bowl, but I paused, pointing to the pot on the stove.
“Sit.”
Yeah, she had the stern tone in her voice.
I sat quicker than I’d ever sat any other time.
She took my bowl, dished some out for me, then grabbed another for River, doing the same.
She’d even sprinkled some tortilla strips on mine and some grated cheese on River’s.
There was still steam rising off the surface, just waiting for me to burn my tongue on it.
My mouth was watering. If I could have this every day of my life, I would in an instant. I had so many good memories attached to the smell of it alone. “Gracias, Mami.”
“Gracias, Mami.” River echoed.
“De nada. Dig in. Tell me about your days.” She had a bowl in front of her as well, stirring the noodles together with a spoon.
River noisily slurped a spoonful down, all annoying and shit. “Forrest has an old boyfriend.”
I coughed and sputtered over my bowl. A few noodles had gone straight to my lungs.
Instead of looking concerned, Mamá was staring at me with her eyes narrowed.
I tried to cough out some sort of explanation, but I was failing miserably.
“Cállate! H-he lies!” I turned to the side, hacking into the empty space beside the chair.
“What does he mean by old, hm?”
River started to chime in, but I yelled before he could. “Don’t listen to him! Just don’t. He isn’t my boyfriend.”
She raised an eyebrow at me. “He isn’t?”
“No. I’m just…seeing him. Talking to him. And stuff.” Oh, I was fumbling pretty damn badly. River was going to fucking get it later. “We’re friends.”
“You are a terrible liar, mijo. Tell me more. What does he look like? What does he do?”
This was horrible. Terrible. “Ma, I’m not lying.
River is blowing it out of proportion.” She tapped her nails against the table, which meant I needed to hurry up and start explaining.
Sighing, I leaned back in my chair. “He’s a little shorter than me.
Brown hair. Really pretty hazel eyes. He owns a bar called Driftwood Jack’s. ”
“Hm. How old is he?”
I glanced to the side, refusing to look her in the eye. “Thirty-nine.”
When silence was all that followed, I instinctively knew Mamá was contemplating killing me. Truly. I looked her way, trying to plead with her with my eyes alone. She had to love me, right? That was the rule of being a mother?
She nodded slowly, picking up a spoonful of her soup. “Wow. Are you happy? Is he a good man?”
“Oh, Mami.” I smiled. “He’s amazing. We really are just friends right now, but I’m hoping that’ll change. I really think he might be the one.”
River dropped his spoon, making a loud clatter. “The one? Isn’t it a bit early for that? I mean, you’re not even dating yet.”
Mamá shook her head. “I knew Ernesto was the one for me the first time we met. Sometimes, you simply know. I think that’s how God speaks to us. I hope one day you understand that, River.”
“Thanks, Ma. I’m going to keep trying with him. I really like him.”
“What’s his name?”
“Jack. His name is Jack.” And Jackson. And slut. And sweetie. And sweetheart, honey, cutie… For me, Jack had a lot of names. Names only I got to call him. Names I loved calling him and seeing how his eyes sparkled in response to each.
River cleared his throat. “Well, now that we’re done with that, let me tell you about work, Mami.”
Always the attention stealer. Classic last-born syndrome. Not that I minded at the moment, seeing as I still had an entire bowl of food to devour. Right as I’d taken another bite, my phone buzzed. I fished it out of my pocket, smirking at the irony.
Jackson
Here are those clothes sizes. Why did you need them again?
No reason. Thank you
Jackson
Why do I feel like there is a reason and you’re just not telling me?
Oh, there was. But it was a birthday gift, and I couldn’t ruin a birthday gift.
Idk. Ask yourself that
Jackson
Noted. When are you free next?
I don’t work tomorrow
Jackson
I’m helping Callum with something tomorrow. Wanna do something tomorrow night?
He was taking initiative. It warmed my heart enough that I thought maybe we could have a chance. Maybe I could ease his fears.
Sure. Keep me posted
Jackson
Ok. Consider it a… date. Friend date.
Whatever you say sweetie
I wasn’t going to consider it anything. I was going to take it for what it was.
I got to spend time with Jack, and that was really all that mattered to me.
As long as he kept showing up, I’d keep showing up, too.
I’d keep showing him that it was okay. I wasn’t sure what exactly I was showing him, but he had to find comfort in it if he kept seeing me.
Don’t worry, Jack. I’ve got you. I’ll take control. I’ll make it all safe for you, no matter how that looks for you.