Chapter 19
chapter nineteen
Today was the day. I was going to ask Forrest out on a real, formal date because I wanted to date him. I wanted to be his boyfriend. I never thought I’d get to this point, yet here I was, and it felt fucking weird.
I pulled out new bags of peanuts and pretzels to fill our containers, waiting for Forrest to come in since he’d been with his mom and brother all day. We’d only been closed for about thirty minutes, and he said he was on his way, so he should be here soon.
He’d only had one request, which I easily obliged. I was wearing lacy panties he’d bought as a buy-one-get-one-half-off at the store. I’d worn them my entire shift, blushing a little every time I moved and my cock rubbed against the lace crotch.
There was only one more container left to fill and some sweeping left to do.
Mav had offered to handle that part for me, but I’d told him to go ahead and go home.
Enjoy the peace and quiet there while he could before it eventually turned into pure chaos, and he ended up sleeping here again.
I tore the bag of pretzels open a bit harder than I’d meant to, making a few of them fly all over the bar counter.
Sighing, I opened the clean, empty container and tipped the bag into it. Right as I did that, hands came around my waist, making me jump and yell as I elbowed whoever was behind me.
“Whoa! It’s me, sweetie.” Forrest pulled me further into him. “It’s me.”
I deflated against the counter, letting out a panicked breath. “You fucking scared me. I thought I was getting robbed.”
“Nope. Just me getting handsy.” He slid his palms up under my shirt, feeling around my stomach. “Mm, I know I saw you yesterday, but I missed feeling your skin.” I felt his nose against my neck as he sniffed. “You smell good. Did you not hear me come in?”
I leaned my head back with my eyes closed, resting against him. “No. The back door is surprisingly quiet. Can’t hear it from up here.”
One of his fingers dipped below the waistband of my jeans. “Are you wearing what I asked you to?”
My breath hitched as he slowly started to slide his palm down to join his finger. “Yes.”
“Good boy.” He pressed his lips against my neck. “How do you feel after your birthday?”
“Amazing. Sore.”
“Sore?”
“Mhmh.” I arched my back, pressing my ass against him. “So sore in the best way possible.”
“Sounds like I did my job right then.”
His hand was moving further. Further. He was really close to my cock, and I wanted nothing more than to buck up into him, but there was a reason he was here. “Wait.”
He stopped altogether, freezing where he was. “What is it?”
Slowly, I turned in his arms, resting my back against the counter. I looked between his eyes, letting myself get lost in the safety in them. The safety of the control he so easily took from me. The safety of letting him have all these parts of me. “I like what we have, Forrest.”
“I do too.”
“But, um, I want more.”
He blinked a few times, furrowing his brows. “More what?”
Christ, I felt like a nervous high schooler again, asking my first girlfriend on a date.
I was so nervous. So anxious, I didn’t know what to do with myself.
I was warm all over. Warm and completely mesmerized by his sheer fucking presence.
“I want to give you more control, and I want to start by going on a date. A real date. I want to date you.”
For a second, I got scared that he didn’t want the same thing. I thought maybe I’d read everything entirely wrong. He didn’t say anything at first, just staring at me. His lips were slightly parted, a shiny gleam on his bottom one.
I needed him to say something. I needed him to say yes. I needed him to be okay with this because I desperately needed him. I needed him in a way I never thought I would.
“Forrest, say something.” I reached up, placing a hand on his cheek.
In an instant, the shocked look on his face faded away. His eyebrows lowered. His mouth curved into a bright, beaming smile. Quicker than I was expecting, he grabbed my wrist and turned me around, bending me over the counter with my hand behind my back. “You want me to take more control?”
I gasped. “Yes.”
“You want me?”
“Yes, Forrest.”
He leaned over my back, whispering. “Oh, Jackson, you never had any control in the first place. You’ve always had me. From the first night we met ‘til now. I’ve always been here. Don’t you understand that?”
“I didn’t, no.” I pressed my cheek against the cold wood below me. “I didn’t, but I do now. I do, and I want more.”
“You want me.” He tangled his fingers in my hair, pulling me up a little. “You actually want to date me.”
I couldn’t help but moan as he handled me like I was his to play with. “Yes.”
Using his other hand, he slowly wrapped his fingers around my throat. “The answer was always going to be yes, Jackson. Yes, I’ll go on a—”
I fell forward as his body left mine. There was a crash behind me, and someone else was speaking. “Get off him!” He yelled. So angry. So scared.
“Whoa, woah! Stop it, hold on!” Forrest was yelling now.
Pushing off the counter, I turned around as fast as I could, finding Tobi absolutely fucking wailing on Forrest. He was punching him. Hitting him. Slapping him in the face. There was a pan and the remnants of a cake lying on the floor next to Tobi.
I wasn’t sure what to do. What did I do? Forrest wasn’t fighting back. Tobi was punching him. I was frozen, watching. Why wasn’t Forrest fighting back?
I held my hands up, trying to yell over the sound of them arguing with each other. “Tobi! Tobi, stop! Stop!”
He didn’t stop.
Forrest ducked and rolled onto his side, but Tobi was quick. He kicked him.
I raced forward, grabbing Tobi by the shoulders and trying to haul him backward. He was fucking strong, though. “Quit! Tobi, that’s him. That’s the guy I’ve been talking about.”
“He hurt you! I saw it!” Tobi’s leg shot out as he prepared to kick Forrest again. Forrest scrambled to the side, trying to crawl away.
I tugged on Tobi again, pulling him with every ounce of strength in me. I pulled him hard enough, it knocked me off balance, forcing us to the ground. “Let go of me! Let go of me!” He squirmed in my arms, damn near on top of me.
Wrapping my arms around him, I tangled my legs around his. I had him in a full hold, trying to keep him contained. “This is Forrest. He’s who I’ve been seeing. He wasn’t hurting me. He’s not hurting me, Tobi.”
He took a couple of ragged breaths, still fighting in my hold, but less often. Not as much force. “He was hurtin’ you.” Fuck, he sounded so…so defeated. So sad.
“I’m okay, Tobi. He wasn’t hurting me. You’re safe, and so am I. Take a deep breath with me.” I glanced over his shoulder as I took in a deep, slow breath. He was imitating me, and Forrest was watching, his eyes wide and afraid.
It fucking killed me. It killed me to see the blood coming from the barbell in his eyebrow. The blood pooling under his nose. It killed me, but for some reason, it was killing Tobi more.
Tobi followed me through each breath until they became stuttered. He inhaled, shaky and deep, before finally letting out a cry. He was crying. His entire body was shaking.
I loosened my hold, shifting us around until I could simply pull him against my chest. “I didn’t hear you come in. What happened, Tobi? Hm?”
“I-I was comin’ to drop the cake off for you. C-Cal couldn’t come. I don’t know, Jack. I saw ‘im. I saw ‘im on you just like they were on me. When I was a kid. I saw ‘im, and I got so scared, Jack. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Shh,” I rocked us gently from side to side. “It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m okay.”
“No! No, I done hurt your man. I done hurt him. I’m so sorry.”
Forrest inched closer, wincing a little. “It’s okay. I’m okay. I understand that you were trying to protect your friend Tobi.”
“See? Forrest is okay.” I pressed my face into Tobi’s hair. “I’m sorry you walked in on that, Tobi. We’re rough with each other. That’s how we are. We consent to it, we’re safe about it, we have safe words… That wasn’t supposed to be something you saw.”
His shoulders were shaking so much. Each cry sounded like it hurt more than the last. I’d just gotten to the point where I could ask Forrest on a date. I’d decided to face the deep, inescapable fear deep in my heart. I’d let go.
And now one of my friends—the love of Callum’s life—was in my arms, sobbing.
Was this punishment?
Was this my fault?
I’d lost control that day in the ocean. I’d lost control when Grandma died. Every time I lost control or gave it up, something bad happened. If it were only me, I could’ve handled it.
But Tobi? Sweet, tortured Tobi? He’d already gone through so much. So fucking much. He was finally sober and in therapy and living the life he was always meant to live, yet here I was, forcing him into a breakdown. I’d given up control.
I looked at Forrest. “How badly are you hurt?”
“Uh, not bad. I’m just bleeding some.”
“Do you need a hospital?”
“No. No, I should be fine.”
“Okay. Do me a favor. My phone is on the second shelf by you. The code is nineteen ninety-five. Call Cal, put it on speaker, and set it beside me. I’m going to try to calm him down.”
He nodded, slowly standing up. “I should probably go home, huh?”
My heart skipped a beat. Or maybe it sped up. Or maybe I was drowning again, and I was going to wake up with a tube in my throat, unable to speak or breathe on my own. It felt too similar in my mind and body, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep my shit together.
I was losing control, and Forrest couldn’t fix it. “Yeah, Forrest. You probably should.”
He picked up my phone, made the call, set it down beside me, and waited for a second. My phone was still ringing. Tobi was still sobbing. There was glass on the floor. Alcohol, too. Tobi and I were sitting in it. Soaking in it. He glanced between both of us. “Please call me tomorrow.”
“I will.”
“Thank you, Jack.”