19. Chapter 19
19
C olt retreats down the stairs and panic sets in with each step he takes. I hate that he's leaving, that I told him I wanted him to leave, but it’s what needed to happen. He’s been here so many times for me and opened up about his own demons he fights. Knowing what I know now, I couldn’t let him stay here. Not with the anger I could sense boiling in his veins. He told me his worst fear was losing control of himself and I’d never be able to live with myself if that happened on my account.
Everything in me wants to run after him, yell for him to come back to me. But this is my battle, and I need to handle it myself. Not be rescued by someone else yet again.
“Should we go inside?” Arrogance radiates from Jett.
I narrow my eyes. “You are not coming inside.”
“We need to talk, Liza.”
“There is nothing left for us to talk about,” I say with finality.
“We never got the chance to talk before. You freaked out before we ever got anywhere. I saw Blake post that she’s out of town and I figured without anyone else here to interject, we’d finally get the chance.” His eyes go down to my chest, causing bile to rise in my throat. “I didn’t realize you’d have your little boyfriend over.”
“You hit me, Jett. There’s nothing else to say.”
“Love…” He takes a step towards me and the air rushes out of my lungs. I try to remember something Colt said to me last night while we were sitting on the couch.
‘You’re not the little girl that didn’t have any options anymore, Libby. You made it through when you didn’t have a choice, but you’re a grown woman now and have full control over what happens in your life. You have all the power, nobody else.’
Closing my eyes, I steady myself. In for four–
Pain radiates through my head and I can’t breathe. My ears are roaring, but I can still hear Jett’s voice. The words aren’t registering, yet the tone is crystal clear. I’ve been here before. He could sense that I was going to dismiss him again, which pisses him off more than anything. Whereas I crave control for self preservation, Jett demands it for dominance. He doesn’t know how to not have things go his way.
It’s why I just went along with whatever it was he wanted. Smile, nod, don’t make a fuss. When I make a fuss, this is where I find myself. The panic is filling up inside me. It strangles the air from me, drowning me like never before. But just before I go under, I realize it's not the panic this time. This time, it's Jett's hands around my throat.