40. Chapter 40
40
W e all pitched in to get done what we could, and now we’re just sitting around taking a breather. We’ve busted our asses for a few hours doing what we could with what we had. The rest of the supplies Colt ordered will be in next week, which isn’t supposed to be in for another week, but it’s still quicker than waiting for an insurance claim to go through.
Colt showing up when he didn’t need to is consistent with his character. Unfortunately, I’ve had too many run-ins with people who show themselves to be one way, until you let your guard go all the way down. I’ve been beating myself up for being so stupid and naive once again . I can’t believe I not only let him lay claim to me as his wife, but I slept with him as well.
It doesn’t matter if every time I’m around him, all of my anxiety fades away. It doesn’t matter that his mere presence makes me ache for his touch. It doesn’t matter that I’ve never felt more seen or more beautiful than I have with him. None of it matters. If there’s one thing I’m sure of, is that once a man gets what he wants, his true colors start to shine. And Colt can say he was laughing about himself all he wants. But I refuse to believe that it wasn’t a sign that I needed to distance myself from him.
If it was only that easy.
“Well kiddos, I think it’s time for this old woman to rest her body.” Sarah says as she stands up. Colt stands too, and she reaches out to give him a hug. “Thank you again for everything. One of these girls can get your first haircut going. I can’t have you walking around looking like a sloppy dog.”
Colt’s smile isn’t intended for me, but it still covers me in warmth.
“Who's giving me a free haircut?” Ty asks.
“Nobody promised you a free haircut, jackass.” Blake rolls her eyes.
“Well, what the hell? I helped too.”
“Come on, Ty. I’ll cut your hair.” I stand up and grab a cape. He helped today, the least we can do is give him a haircut.
“Hell yeah Little Bird,” Ty exclaims.
“Stop,” Blake demands. “She’s not touching you. Get your ass over in my chair.” She turns her attention to me. “You take care of Colt.” She is the worst. She knows I told him to leave, though I didn’t tell her why.
Looking back at Colt, his gaze is set on me. Buzzing starts in my toes and travels throughout my body. “Are you ready?” I ask.
His throat bobs. “Yes,” he replies. Straight and to the point, as always.
I wrap the cape around his neck and am immediately thrown into his orbit. Colt’s scent, the small movement of his muscles as he shifts in the chair. The rest of the world has long faded and I am completely alone with him.
Running my fingers through his hair brings me back to the night we spent hours worshiping each other. This may as well be the only head of hair I’ve ever touched. My fingertips trail down to his neck, feeling the sensitive skin. Goosebumps raise under my touch, and I find his eyes on me in the mirror. They’re nearly black.
I can’t resist the urge as I let my gaze wander down. I’ve missed him. I can’t think of a time I’ve ever missed anyone. But if I’m honest with myself, I regretted kicking Colt out the second the door shut. I could have asked him to come back. He would have. But I need to learn to be okay on my own. Relying on others only hurts me in the end.
Right now, though? I don’t care about any of that. I just want to be here. Taking him in. Touching him. Soaking up as much of him as I can.
I’m brought out of my thoughts when a rough hand touches mine. “As much as I love you touching me, I think we should probably hurry up so we don’t make them wait.”
Shit . Blake and Tyson are no longer at her station. They aren’t even in the salon anymore. “Where’d they go?”
A low chuckle escapes Colt. “After arguing about his hair cut they went outside to get away from the paint fumes.”
“Right. Sorry,” I say, pulling my hand back, but Colt grabs hold of it.
“Never apologize for touching me, Libs. If I had it my way, you’d never stop.” He slowly drops his hand and I try to shake the trance he puts me in every time I’m around him. The last thing he needs is a shitty haircut because I can’t focus.
Ten minutes later and with a fast beating heart, I pull the cape off and let him admire my work. He rakes a hand through his hair as he stands up to face me. Why am I jealous of him touching his own hair?
“Thank you for the haircut.” His crooked smile does things to my insides. The memory of the way his lips taste come crashing into my mind.
“No problem,” I stammer. “We should probably get going.” Turning on my heels, I head for the door but am stopped by a gentle grip on my elbow.
“Wait,” Colt eases. The charge between us has my chest heaving. “How are you feeling?”
“What do you mean?” I’m barely hanging on. The only way out is through . But at this moment, I’m really not so sure.
“I haven’t spoken to you since the other day.” His jaw clenches a few times. Is he upset?
“I think I’m okay.” My voice doesn’t sound the least bit convincing.
“You think?” He cocks an eyebrow, but his face stays relaxed.
What is with him always demanding a straight answer? Why can’t he just let me skate by on whatever empty lies I tell myself? I take a deep breath before answering. “I know that I’m not okay right now.” He waits quietly, giving me silent reassurance. “But I also know that I will be okay eventually.”
Colt’s eyes soften and the corner of his mouth lifts. “That’s my girl.”
His girl. Flutters take over in my chest where my heart is supposed to be. How am I supposed to stay away from him when he says things like that? I’m supposed to be doing this on my own. No man needed… or wanted.
He offers his hand for me to take and without hesitation, as if my body is acting on its own accord, I lace my fingers with his and we head outside to meet up with the siblings. As soon as we get outside, Blake demands we all go back to the apartment for some much needed sustenance.
Tyson’s large body bounces with excitement. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”
Blake and Tyson are in the living room arguing about who is going to reply to the group text their mom sent out while I finish loading the dishwasher
“Thanks for having me Blake,” Colt calls from his position in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, “but I need to head back if I’m going to get any sleep before this asshole wakes me up with his fourteen alarms in the morning.” Ty flips him off and Colt laughs as he makes his way over to me. He leans back on the counter next to the dishwasher. “Walk me out?”
“Sure,” I agree, not bothering to look away from his innocent smile. Get ahold of yourself, Libby .
We get to his truck and Colt rests his arm on top of the bed. I keep my distance, though, wrapping my arms around my torso.
“Cold?” He asks as his eyes trail the goosebumps covering my arms. Ones that have nothing to do with the weather.
“No, I’m okay,” I say, curling my shoulders inward. I have to shield myself from him if I’m ever going to break whatever hold he has over me.
“Thank—”
“Look—”
The corner of Colt’s eyes wrinkle as he smiles down at me. “You go first.”
The only way out is through . “I'm sorry you got thrown into my mess. That you had to see me like you did the other day. That I gave you false hope that I could be anything more than a damsel in distress.” Finding my strength, I make eye contact. “I’m sorry I pushed you away when you were just trying to help.”
A beat passes before he says anything. “I was going to thank you for letting me be here.” He puts his hands in his pockets. “Me helping you is never something you have to apologize for. I’m happy to do it.” Tilting his head to the side, he doesn’t let me look away. “I’m always happy to do it.”
Blush heats my cheeks at the intensity of his words. Colt’s lips curve into a smile, pulling one from me as well.
“I found us a place to live in New Orleans.”
“Why?” The question comes out of my mouth before I can stop it.
His brows crease. “Why did I find a place for us to live?”
I nod.
He reaches out and brushes his thumb over my jaw. Closing my eyes against his touch, a small hum escapes between my lips. Colt’s thumb stops mid-stroke, causing my eyelids to flutter open. His gaze zeros in on my mouth.
“Let me show you,” he coaxes, pulling his focus from my lips. “Close your eyes.”
There is not an ounce of resistance in my body when it comes to Colt Gibson, so I comply..
“Now, tell me…” He slides his hand down from my cheek to my neck, wrapping his fingers around the back of it. He keeps his thumb planted on the side. He takes a step closer, his heat warming the front of me. His scent takes over my ability to think straight again. Grabbing my hand, he places it on his chest, just like he did when helping me through my panic attack the other day. “What do you feel?”
Huh? Is that a question he expects me to answer? I’m unable to form a solid thought right now, let alone engage in twenty questions.
His voice is closer. His breath on my face. “Answer me, Libby.”
“Lost.”
“You feel lost?”
“Yes.” In the most wonderful way. A way I’ve never known.
“Does that scare you?”
I shake my head. “I’m not scared.” There’s no world that exists in which I would be scared with this man holding me.
“Good.” His hands go to the small of my back, bringing us flush against each other. His face brushes my hair as the deep vibrato of his voice trickles down my spine. “And what do you feel now?”
My heart jackhammers in my chest. Head and stomach swimming, I’m floating. Electricity zaps its way through my body, awakening every part of me. We’re only hugging, but it feels like so much more.
“I feel everything.”
His smile pushes against the side of my face. “Exactly.” Pulling away from me, he grazes his nose against mine, coaxing my eyes open. “ You make me feel everything. And the most important thing to me right now is making sure you are safe and cared for. The only way to do that is to have you under the same roof as me. As my wife.”
The weight of his words registers and he straightens back up. “But we’ll have whatever boundaries you need in place. I’m here, eager and willing to take whatever you’re able to give me, but I won’t push you. If you want to be friends, I’ll be your best one. If it’s a monthly haircut, I’ll show up every time with a grateful heart.” His eyes roam my face, as if committing it to memory. As if this might be the last time he sees it. “And if I’m ever lucky enough to have you trust me without a doubt in your mind, just know that I have every intention of making you a lot more than my fake wife.”
I walk back into the apartment with a stupid smile on my face. When I woke up this morning, I never would have guessed my day would turn into this. I went from worrying about facing Colt to him making me feel like I’m the only woman he’s ever wanted.
“What the hell was all of that about?” Blake’s question halts me.
“What was what all about?”
She’s sitting on the couch under a blanket, glass of wine in hand. “You and Colt?”
“I was just telling him goodbye.” I giggle.
“Did you just giggle? ”
“So what if I did?” I ask, fighting to keep a straight face.
“Elizabeth Jewel! You love him,” she gasps.
Heat creeps up my neck. “I don’t know.” Love is a big word.
“Bullshit. You’re so in love with your husband!”
“He’s really nice, and he’s hot, and he smells really, really good,” I blurt out.
Blake laughs. “He smells nice ?”
“Well… yes.” I sit down on the couch and pull my feet under me.
“Libby,” she says, scooting closer, “You deserve a nice, attractive husband who smells really good.” She sucks in her cheeks to keep from laughing.
“Are you mocking me?”
“No!” Her eyes go wide. “I think it’s really cute that he has you this flustered. But I can see why. He has a good soul. And you need someone like that around you, whether it’s a husband or just a bedroom buddy.” Blake winks .
“On that note, I’m going to bed.” I stand up and head to the bedroom.
“Goodnight Little Bird,” she coos.
“Shut up,” I yell over my shoulder.
Once I put my phone on the bedside table and turn the lamp on, I notice the neatly folded T-shirt on the bed. I don’t suppress my smile this time as I pick it up and hold it to my nose. Mint, vanilla, tobacco.
My phone pings, and I leap towards it.
Colt: Stopped for gas before heading out of town so I can get the keys to our place in the morning. I left something for you on your bed, you look better in it than I do :) sleep well, Libs.
I cling the phone and shirt against my chest.