44. Chapter 44
44
“ M y mom would like to meet you,” Colt says as he strokes my arm lazily. It’s early Sunday morning, and he woke me up with the sun with his head between my legs.
“Oh?” I think our daily rounds of ecstasy are getting to my head. I haven’t felt an inkling of panic or dread all week. Not when the cops called me for my weekly update of no news and more questions. Not when we got lost in the moment coming home one day and forgot to lock the door, only for Tyson to walk in on us on the couch hours later. Colt was pissed, but I found it all pretty humorous. But even now, with Colt talking about meeting his mom, there’s no anxiety to be found.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. She just reminds me every time we talk that I still haven’t introduced her to my wife.”
The word makes my heart grow two sizes every time he uses it. Which is a lot. I know I need to remind myself that this is all for show, but it’s hard to focus on that when everything has been so blissful. Is it possible to have wedding bliss without an actual wedding?
I roll over to face him, adjusting the sheets to cover my naked body. “I’d love to meet your mom.”
“Really?” His eyebrows shoot up, but the hopeful gleam in his eye makes me want to pounce on him.
“Of course,” I say and kiss him on the nose. “It’s about time I meet my mother-in-law.” I should be treading lightly, but it’s too much fun, too easy, to just play the part.
Colt opens my door and holds out his hand for me to climb down out of his truck. On the way over, he filled me in on how his mom is doing and what to expect. She’s coming up on the end of her fifth month since her diagnosis and her stamina is understandably low.
It’s hard to hear him talk about her. Colt is always laid back and matter of fact, but I could hear in his voice how this is tearing him apart. I wish I understood more of what he is feeling so that I knew how to be here for him better, but I don’t know what it’s like to have a parent that you care that deeply for.
Colt opens the front door just as he does ours every day. Like he lives here. I know this is his childhood home, but it still surprises me. The sense of being so welcome that you don’t have to knock. It’s nothing I’ve ever known. Even when I was living with Jett and I knew he was already home, I felt weird just walking in. It always felt like I was intruding in his space.
It’s never been like that in mine and Colt’s apartment. Maybe because we moved into a neutral space so things feel even. Or maybe because every time he comes home, he comes straight to me and gives me a kiss like it’s what he’s been dying to do all day.
“Hey mom, it’s us,” Colt calls out. Us . My heart reacts to the word the same way it does when he calls me his wife. I’m walking a dangerous line. One that I don’t know if the risk outweighs the reward anymore, but I don’t want to keep myself from enjoying where I’m at. It’s the most peace I’ve had in my whole life. And for once, I just want to enjoy without thinking of the what ifs .
From the kitchen, in walks a tiny little woman with short blonde hair and green eyes. An older, shorter version of Savannah. “Well, it’s about time Colton, I’m not getting any younger,” she calls back and pauses in the doorway when her eyes land on me. “There you are.” She holds her arms out for a hug. And just like her son, she has some type of magnetic pull that has me walking straight into her arms and she wraps me up in them.
My chest feels as though it’s fully expanding for the first time in my life. My arms tingle more the longer we embrace, but it’s not the kind of tingling that usually has me hiding in a corner. This tingling feels grounding. It has my eyes starting to burn, but thankfully Colt’s mom pulls back before the tears fall. What was that ?
She keeps hold of my hands as she looks me over again. “You are radiant.”
“Mom,” Colt chimes in. “This is Libby. Libs, this is my mom, Leann Gibson.”
“It’s really nice to meet you.” My cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but it’s hard not to when you’re in the presence of this otherworldly woman. How can she evoke so much emotion out of someone? Out of me?
“I’ve been waiting for you for a long time, Libby,” she says and gives my hands a squeeze before letting go, tuning back into the kitchen. “Come on now, I’m just making some jambalaya.”
“Can I help with anything?” Colt gives me a lopsided smile as he holds a chair out for me at the table.
“Absolutely, dear.” Leann says with her back to me while she’s at the counter, “Grab an apron off the hook and you can come cut up this sausage.”
Colt’s eyebrows shoot up, and his eyes almost fall out of his head. But he recovers quickly with a small shake of his head and sits down in the seat he was holding.
After what had to be the most delicious jambalaya I’ve ever had, Colt and I wash the dishes while his mom goes to the living room to rest. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” Colt asks.
“Like I have two heads and you’re trying to figure out if you like it or not.” My analogy has us both giggling, trying to be quiet so we don’t disturb Leann.
“You just never cease to amaze me. That’s all.” He places a kiss on my forehead and we finish up our job before retreating to the living room as well.
“You kids didn’t need to go to all that trouble,” Leann says as we take a seat on the couch.
“No better reason, mom,” Colt declares. The familiarity of his words sits heavy in my stomach, but his mom just smiles lovingly at him.
“Have you found a new salon to work at, Libby?” Leann asks.
“Not yet, but I had an interview today, so I should hear from them soon.”
“That’s good.” She nods with her eyes closed. “Is that your passion?”
I don’t know that I’ve ever been asked that question, or even thought about it myself. Is it? Do I even have a passion? I’ve never really explored that before. My childhood definitely didn’t allow for one. As an adult, I suppose I’ve just made sure my bills are paid and, for the last few years, catered to whatever Jett needed. Making appointments, grocery shopping, cooking, tagging along to any social gathering he had.
“Out loud, honey. Your secrets are safe with me,” she asks, her eyes still closed, but her face is relaxed. She’s the first person I haven’t questioned the intentions of as soon as we meet. Leann exudes motherly love. And although I don’t have anything to really compare it to, my heart knows she’s a safe place.
“I don’t know what my passions are.” A sad realization, but it’s the truth.
“So selfless. I knew you would be.” Her smile comes back, but I don’t get to ask her what she means as her breaths turn heavy. After a few passing moments, it’s obvious she’s asleep.
Colt goes to her and scoops her up with too much ease. “I’ll be right back,” he says and carries her down the hall. I couldn’t imagine what she must be going through. To know your end is coming. To be so weak that you can’t do much during your last days. My stomach churns at the thought.
“Ready to go?” Colt holds his hand out for me to take and we make it to the door before I stop.
“Will she be ok by herself?”
“Mom?” He looks over his shoulder at the hall he just came from and shakes his head. “She’s a tough cookie.” But the deep line between his brow tells me there’s more to it.
“Do you think it would be okay if I came back tomorrow?” Colt’s head cocks to the side.
“I don’t think I can get out of work tomorrow. We have a pretty strong deadline coming up for the house we are working on.”
“That’s alright. I can come by myself.” Nobody deserves to be all alone when they know they only have a month left to live. Especially Leann Gibson.
Colt smiles down at me. “She’d like that.”