49. Chapter 49
49
I ’m a lost cause. I don’t know why I ever thought keeping my distance from Colt was going to solve anything. Or that I’d have the strength to do it. As much as I want to stand on my own, there is a magnetic pull that I can’t fight anymore, and I’m ready to stop fighting against whatever is happening.
Colt has never asked more of me than I’ve been willing to give or be comfortable with. He’s been a steady pillar of support anytime I’ve needed it. It’s not fair to punish him over my past trauma. And honestly, this is the first step to taking control of my own decisions. I’m tired of being anxious about what is around every corner, every possible outcome. Today, Libby Clark is claiming what is hers. Starting with her man.
Pulling up to the construction site is a little nerve-wracking. So much is happening and there are people everywhere. I had to bribe Tyson to let me know where Colt was working today. Not that he doesn’t equally want me to be here, but just because it’s Tyson. Anytime he can get something, he’s going to take it. Lord help whoever he marries — if he marries at all.
I step out of my car and look around. There are loud noises coming from every direction. Every man is walking with a purpose or leaned over, looking at something. But Colt is nowhere in sight, so it looks like I’m going inside this… well, it looks like someone’s absolutely beautiful house. But I’m on a mission and cannot be stopped.
A giant of a man steps in front of me as I step onto the concrete slab. “Ma’am, you can’t be here.”
“Right. I understand, but I’m actually looking for someone.” He studies me like I’m a madwoman. Hold steady, Libby.
“Who is it you’re looking for?”
“Colt Gibson,” I say, and his demeanor completely changes.
“You’re the Mrs.?” Why is that so shocking? Have women shown up here before? Regret starts to creep in before I am graced with the site I’ve come accustomed to.
Dressed in a green flannel with the sleeves rolled up, jeans with just the right amount of give, work boots and a hard hat, was the man I’m madly in love with. He hasn't seen me yet, but boy am I seeing him. The sweat coating his forearms, drawing me in like a moth to a flame. Without a deliberate thought, my feet are moving me forward and the other man is nowhere to be found.
As if he can sense me close by, Colt turns and looks right at me. He tips his head back, turning his face to the sky. Maybe I shouldn’t have come. This was a bad idea.
Before I can have another thought, he drops his focus back to me and is taking up the space between us in long strides. The t-shirt under his button up is formed deliciously to his body, making it easy to see his chest rising and falling heavily as he places his hands on his hips.
“Hey Libs,” he says breathlessly, soothing my soul like only Colt Gibson can.
“Hey.” The last twenty-four hours disappear and I’m sucked right back into his orbit. Thoughtless and speechless.
“What are you doing here?” His brows draw together. “Is everything okay?”. Now is my time. Time to speak up, say everything I want to say without overthinking it or worrying about what happens if the last three weeks have changed his mind.
“I came to see you,” I say matter of fact. He stays quiet, waiting for me to continue. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted yesterday. It was rude and I should have let you explain yourself. But I got scared and just pushed you away so I didn’t get hurt anymore than I already was.” I press my lips together as I gather my thoughts. “I grew up not being able to count on anyone. And once I found someone who I thought was safe enough to let in, he turned out to be just as damaging as my father. Just as neglectful as my mother.”
Colt’s jaw clenches, and he places his hands in his pockets. I’m rambling, but I need to empty everything that’s been on my chest. It’s happening whether I like it or not.
“You came along right when everything in my life blew up. I thought I was going in one direction, but all of a sudden, I had no direction at all. But it landed me right at your feet. And you’ve been here for me more in the few months that we’ve known each other more than anyone other than Blake has.
“I don’t want to be dependent on other people to feel safe and secure. I need to find all of that for myself. And I’ve questioned your intentions almost every step of the way. It isn’t fair. Because I know you’re a good man, And I know that everything you’ve done since we met has only been to help me.”
“You don’t trust me.” It’s not a question, but a statement. One that is laced with pain, though his face stays relaxed.
I look up into his eyes, making sure I have his full focus. “I do trust you, Colt. I just didn’t trust myself enough to accept it.” Which may be the scariest thing I’ve ever admitted.
A slow smile spreads across his face, easing some of my worries that I just word-vomited way too much. He takes his hard hat off as he comes closer, placing it on my head.
“Really?” I ask.
“I’m big on safety.” He cups my face and his eyes search mine. I remain quiet, though. I’ve said everything I need to and then some.
Colt shakes his head as his smile grows bigger and then his mouth is on mine. All at once, my body comes alive. Melting into his touch as my insides ignite. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him to me, but he pulls his head back and looks down at me.
“I need to know you’re in this.” He’s never asked anything of me, other than to be honest with him. And right now, that’s all I want to do.
“I’m here, Colt,” I say as I place my hand on his chest. “With you.” He leans his forehead against mine and closes his eyes. Then somewhere in the distance there’s a loud crash and his head snaps up.
Not bothering to take his hands off my face, or eyes off me, he speaks to his crew. “Home. Everyone go home.” And like little mice, they scurry.