Faith
Saying that I got an hour of sleep was generous. I kept my eyes closed for at least that long as I tossed and turned. It wasn’t that I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to. Every time I started to drift, there was that smile. Every time my subconscious took over, I could see his face.
Reed had no business trying to dredge up feelings that had taken me years to suppress.
His calm, controlled confidence made me sick.
I wanted to push him up out of my face if he didn’t want to answer my questions straight.
His smug ass came over antagonizing me by looking good as hell and trying to weasel his way back in my life.
I needed him for the interview, but I didn’t know if I could trust him.
I couldn’t believe he would try to rearrange the things that I spent too long putting back together.
My life, my heart, my sanity were all left in tatters when he was done with me.
I loved Reed with my whole heart. He was the sweetest and most charming person I had ever met.
He was almost sickeningly sweet, which should have been my first indication that he was a damn fraud.
We met late one night in the library. It was probably like two in the morning, but we were both there. Of course, I was there. The library was my second home. He was stressed out about a paper, and writing happened to be my thing, so for three nights, I helped him work on his paper.
Once he turned his paper in, he didn’t come back in for a week.
When he finally showed up, it was to show me that big, pretty smile, give me some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies he made for me, and tell me that he’d gotten a B on his paper.
I would have been disappointed in a B, but Reed was proud, so I let him have it.
After that, he came back every few nights to chill with me.
He felt like I was a stick in the mud because I would rather focus on my education than partying on a Friday night.
That didn’t stop him from giving up his party hoping to watch old movies in my dorm room.
He even made sure to bring snacks. I showed him how to make a struggle meal with ramen and a bunch of love, and he showed me Shaft.
Reed quickly became my favorite person outside my sisters.
Most guys I ran into in college only wanted sex.
Reed made me feel like he was different.
He told me that he respected the fact that I was saving myself for the right guy.
Although he introduced me to the pleasures of oral stimulation, he never pushed for more.
Imagine my surprise when his mom revealed that he had been engaged the entire time.
He didn’t even try to explain himself or apologize. What was there to say, though?
Reed might have consumed my thoughts for most of the night, but I was still up bright and early. As usual, by eight, I had eaten, gotten dressed, and was sitting in front of my computer creating my next masterpiece. If Reed really wanted to do this the right way, it could be huge.
The opportunity, as he called it, sounded too good to be true.
I wasn’t playing with him, though. He might have thought using someone he considered familiar would be an easy way to get some good press, but I was serious about the integrity of my work.
Reed might have thought I would take it easy on them because we had history, but little did he know, I was asking for everything.
He claimed to be an open book, so there shouldn’t be an issue with providing transaction records, player activity logs, and other things that would help to paint a clear picture.
I wouldn’t ask for anything that I didn’t need access to.
I knew there was a lot of sensitive information involved.
It shouldn’t take breaking the law to get a clear picture of the way things worked.
Something about Cashville still didn’t sit right with the public. My bias against Reed made me lean to the side of guilt, but it wasn’t about me. I would give him a chance to prove his innocence. I couldn’t believe I was actually going through with it.
For the past ten minutes, I had been staring at the email that was sent to my work email.
Reed made it his business to send an email with his phone number attached.
It annoyed me that I would call him. Some parts of me didn’t trust that I could control myself around him.
That part kept me from dialing the number.
“Stop looking at that damn number and call him, girl. This is huge for your article. I honestly don’t know why you didn’t think of it yourself. You went to college with the owners,” my sister Hope fussed as she plopped down next to me on the couch.
“One of them hated me, and the other broke my heart. I never cared to see either of them again.”
“Nick did not hate you. He felt like you took his friend.”
“Well, his friend proved us both wrong.”
“How long has it been, Faith? You gotta get over it one day. Y’all were kids.”
“Who said I wasn’t over it? Just because I dread the idea of being in the same room as Reed Fuller does not mean that I have not forgiven him. I would go as far as to say the fact that I had a fairly cordial conversation with him last night proves the opposite,” I mentioned.
“Talking to him don’t prove shit. He’s offering you an in. You would be a fool not to take it due to a childhood break up.”
“It wasn’t a childhood breakup. We were in college. I was twenty-one years old, and he was just as grown.”
“Now you’re twenty-eight going on seventy. I wish your old behind would get some so you can finally loosen up,” Hope fussed.
“You worry about being loose, big sister. I’ll continue to be beautiful,” I told her.
“Go to hell,” my sister said, laughing once she caught on to what I said.
“Seriously, though, I don’t know if I can trust him, Hope. He already proved what kind of person he was. Granny always said when somebody shows you who they are, trust them.”
“There’s only one way to find out. Make the call.”
“I hate when you try to be a life coach.”
“I can’t help that I give great advice.”
“Nobody likes a know it all. You’re lucky you’re beautiful.”
“Beauty and brains—not everyone can have it all, little sister.” Hope grinned.
“I pray one day to reach the heights you have reached, if only in your mind.”
“Shut up and call that man. I’m not leaving here until you do. You can either man up and make the call or start cooking because I skipped breakfast.”
“It’s Reed, Hope! What part of that don’t you understand?”
“I understand the part where you’re being petty as hell.
I understand that he hurt you. I understand that you’re afraid.
I also understand what this report could do for your career.
I know how much you deserve all the accolades that will come along with it.
If for no other reason, do it to nail that bastard. ”
Now it was my turn to grin. “Now you’re speaking my language.”
“Now to the important stuff. Did he look as good as he used to?”
“He looked like the snake he is.”
“Girl, that man is still fine. I can see it all over your face. You gon’ do it, ain’t you?” she asked, bouncing in her seat.
“See why I don’t fuck with you. You think you know so much.”
“I know my little sister, and I know she wants that story.”
“But it’s him,” I reminded her.
“So what? You’re you.”
That made me smirk. “You got me there.”
“So, you’re doing it?” she asked again.
“I feel like I would be crazy not to at least try it. I just don’t know.”
“Maybe he’s changed. It’s been what, six years?”
“Seven. That doesn’t give him a pass. He used me, Hope. I can’t forget how that felt. That’s why I know I have to keep my guard up with him.”
“You’re mostly mad because you gave up the goods.”
“I really thought he would be the one,” I recalled.
“That’s what you get for trying to micromanage every little aspect of your life. You have to let life be life.”
“Don’t start trying to be Yoda, whore. I hear you,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Why do people hate me for being so wise?” Hope asked, shaking her head.
“I don’t know about them, but it’s annoying to me.”
“Being right all the time is a gift and a curse.”
I laughed. “Whatever.”
“So, you’re doing it? This is a good thing, Faith. I promise.”
“It better be.”
“So, you talked my big sister into getting involved with a man who left her emotionally scarred and destined to die alone?” my younger sister Grace asked as she sashayed into my living room carrying a bottle of wine.
“Damn, that’s harsh, you whore,” I fussed, meeting her halfway with a hug.
My sisters and I were meeting up for our biweekly movie night. I loved spending time with them. As the middle of two divas, I was the odd ball. They loved to tease me for being smart, but I was the first one they called when they needed answers. They got on my nerves, but I loved them to death.
“She is a grown woman,” Hope interjected.
“Make it make sense. You are running right into the mouth of the big bad wolf. You’ve been telling me that story since I was three. You know he just wants to eat you.”
“Would that be so bad, though?” Hope chimed in.
“You shut the hell up. You’re the one who did this,” Grace said, whipping her head around to shove her finger in Hope’s face.
“Will y’all both hush? My nerves are bad enough as it is.”
“You’re already stressed out, and your solution is to spend more time with him. See how that doesn’t make any sense?”
“It’s not even like that, and you know it.”
“It’s exactly like that, Sis. He hurt you. I know you can’t forget about that, because I sure can’t. All I’m saying is that I don’t want to see you go through that again.”
Hope rolled her eyes. “All I know was that you were sprung off the tongue, and you need that in your life like ASAP with your boring ass.”
Grace stomped her foot, getting our attention. “Will you stop!”
“I hope you know your little bitty ass is not in charge. Let her get her man back if she wants to,” Hope teased.
“I’m not trying to get anyone back! I’m investigating him.”
Hope smirked as Grace turned back to me. “So, you are trying to check up on him?” She shook her head in disapproval.
“I’m not investigating him, Grace, damn. I mean, I’m investigating the casino. I am an investigative journalist. You know what I meant.”
“See how defensive you got. You are so not over him. I knew it.”
“I’m over him, Grace. I told you I know what I’m doing.”
“That man played you, Faith.” Grace reiterated her point.
“You think I don’t know that. You think I don’t remember crying myself to sleep for weeks? You don’t have to keep shoving that shit in my face. At the end of the day, it’s not up to you.”
“I understand that you’re capable of making your own decisions. You’ve been an adult your whole life. I’m just wondering why you would put yourself back in that situation.”
Because I wanted to trust that he would be honest with me. Because I needed to finally nail him and show the world how phony he and his bestie were. Because someone other than me needed to see him for who he really was. Because I missed—
“Because I have a story, and he happens to be the one that can get me the answers I need. Reed is the only way that I’ll get access to Nicholas King. I promised Barbara a big story. So if I have to put up with his annoying ass for a little while, then so be it.”
Grace sighed, pressing her lips together before responding. “OK, damn.”
“But what if you find something?” Hope asked.
“What do you mean? That’s the reason that I’m going. I expect to find something.”
“I mean something bad, Faith. What if you find something serious?”
“I’m going there to do a job, and that’s what I’ll do. If I find something, I’m exposing it.”
“And what if you don’t find anything?” Grace wondered.
That question threw me off. I never considered that I might not find anything at all. The things that Darius was caught doing with his operation seemed to still be in place. There was no need for me to consider the possibility of that being a mere coincidence.
“It doesn’t matter because I will. I’m letting him know today.”
“Just be careful,” Grace advised.
Her warning was unnecessary, but I answered her anyway as I picked my phone up off the coffee table.
“I got it.”
Opening my social media app, I went to my blocked list, unblocking Reed’s account before sending him a message to let him know that we could do lunch. Once the words were out there, there was no turning back. Like I said, I was doing it.