Chapter 18 #3
“No,” Catherine replied. “I finally make a decision on what I want to do, then he comes in like a superhero and does something nice, and it throws me off.”
“Come on, talk to me,” Kassie encouraged.
“I know this pregnancy has thrown you for a loop. You’ve endured two babies in a row.
One with colic and the other has found his diaper of poo, fascinating as finger paint.
Leo works weird hours, and Melody has turned bossy and defiant because she’s demanding attention. You’re exhausted.”
“Yes. You make it seem easy. You pick up the kids on your day off and resemble a put-together mom. I show up still in my pajamas or stained clothes. Not to mention, I’m constantly late,” she said, sounding depressed.
“I recently started feeling like myself again, losing weight, and getting on track, and now I’m sick every day. ”
“Trust me, it’s not easy. Emma has three moms: Maddie, Victoria, and me.
Sometimes, I feel like I have to fight to hold one of my own kids.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my extended family.
They help me a ton, especially with the twins.
When Chase and I have the day off, we want to take the kids hiking or to the museum.
The next thing I know, Victoria has ordered a convoy, and ten men have joined us for family day.
Oh, and it’s sooo much fun explaining to Emma why Gran Victoria says she’s giving me time alone to eat my favorite sausages.
My husband finds it extremely funny. Emma, on the other hand, believes I have a serious sausage addiction. ”
Catherine’s body shook as she tried to contain her laughter.
“It’s not funny,” Kassie complained as she nudged her friend. “You try sitting down for breakfast after Maddie made sausage, and Emma asks if it’s ‘Mom’s special sausage.’ I thought Maddie planned to drag me from the table by my ear.”
Catherine laughed even harder.
“If that’s not enough, Emma keeps searching for Chase’s balls in my purse because Gran Victoria assures her I have them,” Kassie said, exasperated.
“Stop,” Catherine begged. “You’ll make me have to pee.”
“Then tell me why Leo helping with the daily chores has traumatized you,” Kassie encouraged. “We both know there’s more to this than laundry and dirty dishes.”
The question sobered Catherine, who grew serious.
“It feels different this time. I have a bad feeling I can’t shake.
I’m terrified something might happen to Leo, and I won’t be able to care for our monsters.
I can’t tell him before he leaves on a mission that I’ve got some stupid feeling.
It’ll jinx him and make him second-guess himself,” she said quietly.
“Leo has stretched himself too thin lately. He’s working at all hours, trying to show up for the men, and I get it. But we need him, too.”
“Then sit Leo down and talk to him,” Kassie ordered.
“It’s not that simple. When I tell him all the things I’m behind on or what I need help with, he brings up hiring a nanny or a morning helper.
It may sound selfish, but I need my husband and partner.
We don’t want strangers raising our kids.
I’m beyond exhausted. I don’t know how I’ll handle another of Leo’s spawn,” she sniffled.
Hugging her, Kassie let her cry.
“Leo’s trying to fix it. He doesn’t see the real issues. I know we talked about your options. Have you given it any more thought?” she asked.
Shaking her head, Catherine glanced at her feet.
“Part of me says it’s my body and I want an abortion.
Then the other side of me knows, regardless of how we conceived, this baby came from love.
I know you’re secretly hoping I’ll change my mind because you struggled to have kids and they’re all special in your eyes. ”
“Hey, don’t assume I’m judging you. The last couple of years have played havoc with your body, your hormones, and your emotions.
You have the right to feel how you do. Leo has never carried a child.
It’s hard on our bodies. Then add late-night feedings, diaper changes, and getting pregnant with another child.
Leo messed up, but he’s trying to fix it in his own way.
You have money and can afford a nanny. If your kids have a healthier and happier mom because she’s getting the rest she needs, then get one.
You will always raise your kids because you’re a terrific mom.
Don’t fall for society’s guilt trips about working moms.”
“I know. Do I need to remind you of how he fixes things? Let’s talk about the city park in my backyard, or the bug mask he wanted me to wear during my pregnancy.
Oh, we can’t forget the man bra or getting arrested as I start contractions,” Catherine reminded her.
“My husband doesn’t know how to shut down after work hours.
Maybe I will reconsider the nanny thing. I feel like a jumbled mess.”
“What about you? You’re not supposed to work today,” Kassie countered. “Why did you come in at all?”
“Because staying at home while Leo worked made me mad. Why can’t he see I need him?” Catherine cried. “I’m sorry. I keep going to opposite ends of the spectrum. I want him there, but it makes me mad he’s there. I don’t even make sense.”
“Oh, honey,” Kassie said, pulling her close.
“You have hormones raging. Maybe you need to take a few days away before he leaves. We have the kids cared for. Go spend quality time together. I can have the jet fueled and ready to fly you anywhere. Get him away from his job. Doc can ask the team to contact Saint or Whiskey. They’re the next ones in charge, right? ”
Catherine blinked and gazed at her. “Do you mean it?”
“Yeah. Spend some quality time together, even if it means he holds your hair while you vomit nonstop.” Kassie nudged her. “I’ll call Chase and have him talk to Whiskey and Saint. You can leave in the morning. Where do you want to go?”
“Somewhere warm with a beach,” she said softly.
“How about California? We’ll need Dr. Greene to examine you before you leave. Your blood pressure still reads a bit high. Something tells me it’ll go down if you have some time alone,” Kassie suggested. “I’ll research a private beachfront property.”
“Did I ever tell you how much I love you?” Catherine asked. “Maybe some quiet time away will help us talk. Who knows, maybe it’ll help me forget this sinking feeling.”
“Will you go home and rest now? You’ll need your rest,” she said, wagging her brows. “Don’t forget to ask Dr. Greene about sex.”
“You’re incorrigible. Maybe I’ll need to take some of your special sausage,” she said, giggling.
“Not you, too,” Kassie groaned as she helped her friend from the bench. “Come on, let’s get you feeling better. Then you can make your decisions.”