Losing Sleep: A Sweet Romance (Lost Roommates Book 2)
1. Chapter One
I exhaled and allowed my breath to guide me as I shifted from upward dog to downward dog, following the instructor on my laptop. I pedaled my feet, working through the tightness in my calves as I waited on my yoga mat for the next pose. I strained to hear what the instructor said with the volume as close to mute as I could get it and still hear.
I should be sleeping, but old habits, particularly those honed during childhood thanks to a flighty but loving mother with a tendency to favor adventure over making it to school on time, died hard.
It was 5:30 in the morning, and I had the day off. I didn’t need to be awake this early. I didn’t need to cram in a calming workout before spending hours on the phone with angry customers. But instead of allowing me the rare experience of sleeping in, my mind was running circles as I worried about the day ahead and the week-long trip to celebrate my friend Tory’s birthday. I was already packed, for the most part. I only needed to toss my shower items into my duffle bag, and I would be ready to go. My roommates had agreed to watch my dog, Ruby. My mom knew where I would be and could call if she needed me. There wasn’t any reason for the nervous energy coursing through my veins. And yet, here I was in leggings and a tank top, sweat beading my forehead, doing yoga in my bedroom because I couldn’t get my brain to turn off.
“Step your right foot forward into a high lunge and raise up to warrior one.”
Focus, Audrey.
If I could stay present on my mat, maybe I could stop worrying about my upcoming drive with one of Tory’s friends, a man I’d only met in passing. Not to mention other fear-inducing thoughts like flat tires, my mom having another accident, animals darting in front of our car, and being too late to celebrate Tory’s birthday tonight, in addition to worries I refused to think through enough to label. After all, if I didn’t worry about it and try to account for it, who would?
The slight jingling of dog tags was the only warning before a small, furry body decided to join me on the mat. Ruby pressed against my right ankle, looking up at me with interest in her dark chocolate eyes.
“I’ll walk you after this video is done,” I promised, shooing her away with a wave of my hand. My little brown dog didn’t budge.
Ignoring her, I moved to warrior two, opening my arms and staring over my right shoulder. Ruby took this as her cue to settle in, lying on top of my foot.
The next pose had me shifting forward, twisting so my left hand rested on the mat next to my right foot, my right arm extended. I gently nudged Ruby away. She in turn dug at my hand to get me to wrestle, her wriggling body hitting against me. As a shih tzu-mix, she wasn’t large, but she could still throw off my balance.
I tightened my abs and grounded down through my feet to keep from falling.
“Stop, Ruby! We’ll play in a minute,” I whispered, humor and exasperation lacing my tone. Ruby just blinked at me before sitting back on my foot.
I continued through the yoga flow with mixed success. While this wasn’t my most relaxing yoga practice, Ruby served as an excellent distraction from the anxieties circling through my mind until it came time for the balance poses.
With the help of a local yoga instructor, I had been working on my headstands for months and was close to finally being able to balance. As I tightened my core and kicked up my legs, Ruby knocked into me, nudging at my hands. The jostle was enough to send me crashing down with a loud thud. I groaned and rolled over onto my back in defeat. Seeing my collapse as victory, Ruby licked my face, her tail thumping with excitement as I stared up at the ceiling and light blue walls.
“Knock it off,” I said with a laugh, tucking loose tendrils of brown hair back behind my ears. It was impossible to stay mad at my exuberant dog.
“Audrey, you okay?” a quiet voice called through my bedroom door.
“I’m fine,” I said with a wince. My collapse had been loud enough to wake my roommates. “Still getting the hang of headstands.”
My door cracked open to reveal Chloe on the other side, her pixie cut sticking up in random spikes around her head, her face creased with sleep lines from her pillow.
“Why are you doing headstands at”—she glanced at her phone—“5:50 in the morning?”
“Because I wanted to start my day with a new perspective?” My voice pitched high at the end, doing little to disguise my worry. Already, my list of concerns was returning, filling my head. My fingers itched to jot everything down, make a checklist, take some form of action.
She rolled her eyes. “And you couldn’t wait to gain this new perspective until later in the day because…?”
I sighed. “Because I’m too anxious to sleep and thought yoga would calm me down. Unfortunately, this one,”—I gestured at Ruby, who was now lying innocently in a ball on my yoga mat—“decided it was playtime.”
Chloe stepped into my room and settled on the floor next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
“I wondered when it would hit.”
“I’m going on vacation. I’m not supposed to be anxious. I’m supposed to be relaxed and excited and—”
“I don’t think ‘supposed to’ applies here.” Mallory, my other roommate and landlady, stepped into my bedroom with a yawn, sitting on my other side. “Last time I checked, there’s no ‘supposed to’ guide for going on vacation the day your ex-boyfriend marries your ex-best friend.”
And there it was. The reality I was attempting to ignore.
“It shouldn’t affect me. I’m not invited to the wedding. I haven’t seen either of them in over a year.” I actively avoided both Lyle and Emily even on social media, but that was beside the point. My stomach still tightened every time I thought of them and the happy life they were building together.
“They betrayed you and are getting married. That’s got to hurt,” Mallory said, brushing her blonde hair out of her face and watching my reaction carefully.
Tears stung my eyes as I tried to push down my emotions. No matter how many times I told myself I was better off without either Lyle or Emily in my life, a part of me still missed how my life used to be. I missed the security that came from knowing someone, even a self-obsessed guy like Lyle, loved and chose me above everyone and everything else. It was a level of security my life seemed destined to lack.
Sure, my mom loved me, but she never chose me first. She was always chasing something: the next adventure, the next get-rich-quick scheme. Then finally, when she’d opened her life and heart to dating again, she’d chosen Dave. While the two were perfect for each other, it had left me aching and questioning how I fit into the life they’d built together. Left me questioning where I belonged.
Chloe gave me a squeeze, bringing me back to the present. She jumped to her feet with an energy similar to the cartoon characters on her pajama shorts. “If ever there was an ice-cream-for-breakfast situation, this is it.”
I laughed and shook my head. “I’m about to spend five hours in the car with one of Tory’s friends whom I barely know. I’m going to need a lot more than ice cream to get me through.”
“Pepsi and ice cream for breakfast, then,” Mallory said, following me out of the room. “You can make a float.”
While sugar and caffeine would help, I had a sinking feeling the challenges of my day were just beginning.
Later, after both Chloe and Mallory had left for the day, a knock sounded on the front door. Ruby sprang from the faded plaid couch and rushed over to greet our new guest. I followed her, glancing through the peephole and taking in the tall guy with a well-trimmed beard, dark hair, and a large grin.
When Tory had first invited me on this trip, I’d tried every excuse I could think of, including undependable transportation, as a reason to stay home. Growing up, vacations had hardly been relaxing, thanks to my mom and her tendency to forget things like booking hotel rooms ahead of time and making sure we had enough money for food on the road. As an adult, my vacations had been sparse, mainly consisting of trips to visit my mom, stepdad, and half-sisters. The few trips I had gone on with friends had included Emily, something I actively chose to ignore.
Tory, who had known me since college, saw straight through my tricks. She insisted I needed to come on the trip to celebrate her birthday and distract me from thinking about Lyle and Emily’s wedding. Her solution to my car concerns currently stood outside my door, an hour late.
Maybe I should have opted to drive my own car, Jovi, instead. Named after Bon Jovi because my car was “Livin’ on a Prayer,” at least it would have left on time and wouldn’t have involved spending hours in the car with a stranger. And if Jovi broke down on the side of the road somewhere, I’d have an excuse to stay home instead of navigating a weekend of awkward social interactions, celebrating Tory’s birthday with her boyfriend, Trent, and all of her friends.
I opened the door and forced a smile as I took in my ride’s forest-green t-shirt, the outline of a mountain and the words “Not all who wander are lost” emblazoned across the chest.
“Hi, I’m Audrey. You must be Greyson.” I hoped my voice sounded welcoming instead of pinched and stilted from nerves.
“Everyone calls me Grey. Sorry I’m late.” He offered me his hand, and I took it hesitantly, his calluses rough against my palm as I gave it a quick shake.
“Nice to officially meet you. Hope you’re ready for the drive to Island Park.” I kept my tone bright, pausing in hopes he’d explain why he was late. Instead, he just grinned.
“Did you know Island Park has the longest main street in the world?” He spouted the trivia with clear enthusiasm, as if that explained his tardiness.
“I did. They have a sign.” I waved him inside the apartment, trying not to stress about the change in plans and how it would have been nice to have a warning that Grey would be late. Since waking up far too early this morning, I’d had ample time to think through our travel plans and build my own mental timeline. Grey had destroyed it before even arriving on my doorstep, and it left me feeling twitchy as I fought back flashbacks from my childhood and the countless times Mom had changed plans without telling me.
Relax. You have plenty of time to get to the cabin to celebrate Tory’s actual birthday tonight.
While the trip would last about a week, today was Tory’s birthday. She’d started the drive early this morning, determined to spend as much time as possible at the cabin with her boyfriend, Trent. I was driving up today with Grey instead of waiting to go up with the rest of the group tomorrow because I wanted to be with Tory on her birthday. Or at least, that was the official answer. Unofficially, Tory had decided I shouldn’t be home today because it was Lyle and Emily’s wedding day.
As I stepped back to let Grey in, I didn’t move quickly enough to block the doorway. Seeing her opportunity, Ruby bolted, making a beeline for the open door and freedom. Before I could react, Grey dropped to his knees on the laminate, arms extended.
“Hello, sweetheart! Aren’t you a pretty girl?” Grey gushed, offering his hand for Ruby to sniff.
Distracted from her escape attempt, Ruby took one whiff of the newcomer and immediately rolled over for a belly rub.
Grey gave her a few scratches before picking Ruby up and following me inside. Once I’d closed the door, Grey set Ruby down, and she trotted over to her food bowl as if nothing had happened.
“You ready to go? We don’t want to be too late getting to the cabin,” Grey said, checking the time on his phone. “Driving in the woods at night gets creepy fast.”
I scowled, annoyed that his comment made it sound like our delay was my fault. “I’ve been ready for the last hour.”
“Perfect. Let’s go. Do you need help with your bags?” Grey turned towards the door, pausing at the duffle, yoga mat, and backpack I had stacked in the entry.
“I’ve got it,” I said, waving him towards the door.
I gave Ruby one last pat, my fingers sinking into her fur for just a moment as I let her warmth comfort me before taking a deep breath and straightening. I could do this.
“Be good for Chloe and Mallory,” I called to Ruby as I grabbed my stuff and followed Grey out the door.
A knot of panic tightened in my stomach with each step I took. This was a bad idea. I just knew it.