21. Chapter Twenty-One
I finished showering, taking my time as I dried my hair and tried to ignore the emotions Tory’s comments and Grey’s questions had stirred. I hadn’t been happy at work for a long time, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t get better. I just needed time. At least, that’s what I told myself every time dissatisfaction hit and I started dreaming crazy things, like quitting to become a yoga instructor. I’d envisioned it many times, quitting on the spot during a particularly frustrating day, walking out and leaving Drew to fend for himself.
It sounded exhilarating and exactly like something my mom would have done when I was a kid, before Dave had swooped in, making it so she didn’t need to work anymore.
Any time those thoughts got to be too much, I reminded myself the years spent getting a business degree, working my way from a junior to a senior call center agent had to be worth something. Management kept promising me it would be.
But what if it wasn’t?
I’d been promised a promotion for months now, if I could just “hold on a little longer.” But the promises felt hollow, especially with Drew’s recent promotion. Friends in other departments who had been hired after me were climbing the ladder faster. While I envied their progress, they also seemed more stressed and less fulfilled with the change. Whenever I thought about work and the years ahead, it was with a vague sense of panic that had me reaching for a yoga mat. Something I’d promised myself would fade with time as I grew into each new position.
My phone vibrated on the bathroom counter with a text from my mom. She always seemed to know when my anxiety was reaching peak levels.
MOM: How’s the cabin?
ME: Good so far. Lots of fresh air and socializing.
MOM: Sounds like the perfect weekend.
ME: To a degree. How are the girls?
MOM: Currently fighting over a stuffed animal.
I bit back a smile, picturing the familiar scene.
ME: If it’s the pink unicorn, don’t believe Lily when she says it’s hers.
We chatted for a moment, and a sense of longing and loneliness replaced the anxiety I’d been battling since my exchange with Grey. The picture Mom painted, one of bickering daughters and a loving home, was one I’d dreamed of my entire life. It was hard not to envy her, getting to live that dream, while I was a grown, twenty-six-year-old adult, too old to live at home and enjoy my mom’s new reality.
Shaking off the melancholy, I stole one more glance in the mirror. My hair was curled to perfection, my makeup applied as if I was headed into the office instead of hanging out in the woods. I knew there were only a few hours left in the day. Yet, I needed my armor tonight. I needed something to hide behind if Grey or Tory started asking tough questions about my job again.
I stepped out of the bathroom to the sound of kitchen cupboards slamming and the smell of cooking meat filtering throughout the cabin. When I entered the kitchen, Tory stood at the stove, spatula in hand, as she talked to Alex, who had perched himself on a nearby barstool. Trent was lounging on the couch, typing on his phone. Someone had returned the furniture to the living room while I’d gotten ready.
“Where is everyone?” I asked, snagging an olive from a yellow bowl sitting on the counter next to Alex and doing my best to pretend I hadn’t stormed out in frustration earlier. Maybe if I ignored my behavior, they would too.
“Dang girl, you clean up good! Got a hot date?” Tory’s eyebrows danced, and she waved the spatula in my direction, dripping flecks of oil onto the floor.
I grabbed a paper towel and wiped up the mess, pretending like her comments hadn’t made me blush.
“After a day in the woods, I wanted to feel human again.” I shrugged off her words. My appearance had nothing to do with Kylie’s name-brand clothes, Grey’s cheeky smiles, or my echoes of self-doubt as I pondered my career, full of security but lacking enjoyment.
Thundering footsteps were the only warning before Grey and Brad appeared at the top of the stairs, roughhousing and laughing as they tried to beat each other to the top.
“She lives!” Brad called, when he spotted me. “We were worried you’d gotten lost when it took you so long to get ready.”
“You guys didn’t have to hold dinner for me,” I said, looking at the platters of food Tory had laid out on the counter.
“Kylie also showered. I think she’s still getting ready.”
“You can’t blame our delay solely on the ladies, Grey,” Brad chimed in, peeking over Tory’s shoulder to see what she was cooking. “Those phone calls with your brother and mom took a good chunk of time too.”
“True,” Grey said, refusing to elaborate. I watched his face, trying to read from his expression if everything was okay at home. Instead, he smiled and came to stand beside me, reaching for an olive and bumping my shoulder in the process.
He quirked an eyebrow, as if asking if I was okay, but instead saying, “You look nice. Though I also liked the no-makeup-braid look from earlier.”
I ducked my head. “Sweaty and covered in hiking dust is hardly my best look.”
“Could have fooled me. Though this outfit brings back memories of a certain bed.” Grey’s eyebrows danced, and I gave him a playful shove. His gaze captured mine, and I became lost in the chocolate depths of his eyes as I soaked in his sincerity and a promise of something more filling their depths.
“Great minds think alike. You look good, Audrey.” Kylie’s words broke into the moment.
Kylie stood in the kitchen, wearing a near identical teal lounge set to mine. But while mine was clearly well loved, the fabric worn and pilling in spots, Kylie’s looked brand-new.
“If I’d known, I would have brought my matching pajamas too,” Grey said as he stepped away from me and settled at the table.
Kylie was quick to join him, and I ignored the jealousy curling in my stomach. Instead, I helped Tory put the finishing touches on dinner, pulling out plates and utensils. When all was ready, we served ourselves and dug into the food, conversation flowing around me as I did my best to focus on my tacos and ignore how Kylie scooted her chair closer to Grey.
“What are we doing tonight? More stargazing? Movie marathon? Night games?” Alex asked around a mouthful of beans.
“I vote video game tournament. Y’all were trash talking on the hike. It’s time to see those car racing skills,” Tory said, serving herself a second helping of corn. “And since it’s my birthday trip, I think my vote wins regardless of what anyone else says.”
“You’re on!” Brad said. “Be warned, I was the champion race car driver in my home for over a decade.”
“Just because you cheat,” Alex shot back.
Brad flicked a black bean at Alex, nailing him in the forehead.
“Sensitive, are we?” Alex asked with a laugh, picking up an olive to launch back.
“No food fights at the cabin!” Tory cut in, holding up her hands in a stop gesture. “My mom would kill me if she found out.”
“Fine, though she wouldn’t have to find out. I know a guy who can make all food fight evidence disappear,” Brad said, arching an eyebrow.
“What are you, the food fight mafia?” Grey laughed, pointing at the bowl of olives with his fork. “Do you know a place where you can bury those olives where they’ll never be found?”
I snorted, picturing Brad wearing a dark suit, his hair slicked back, as he buried the unsuspecting olives in a shallow grave behind the cabin.
“If you start a food fight at the cabin, it’s your bodies that will never be found. Don’t underestimate my mama.” Tory reached for the bowl of olives, placing a few on her plate.
“Your mom? Isn’t she like five feet tall?” Trent asked.
“And scary as all get out if you cross her,” Brad said, his lips tipping up in a slight smile as he got lost in memories. “I remember when we were kids, Tory convinced Alex and I to let her try our bow and arrow—”
“Not that story!” Tory groaned, slumping back into her chair, the frame protesting at the sudden movement. “I was ten, and I’d never shot anything before.”
“More accurately, you’d never aimed at anything before.” Alex nudged Tory with his shoulder, joining in the banter.
“How was I supposed to know that little bow and arrow would have enough strength to break a window?”
“That was the day I gained a healthy…respect for Mrs. Allen,” Brad said with a shudder.
The teasing and laughter continued as we finished the meal and Tory, Brad, and Alex regaled us with cabin stories from their childhoods. Trent’s stony silence was a clear sign that not everyone enjoyed the jaunt down memory lane.
Following the meal, the guys ushered Tory, Kylie, and me out of the kitchen, promising to clean up from dinner. I settled on the couch, book in hand, only processing half of what I read as I tried to ignore Grey and Brad splashing each other while they did the dishes.
“What are you reading? Anything good?” Kylie settled on the couch next to me, phone in hand.
“Oh…uh…” I glanced at the cover. I’d grabbed the book from the bookcase in the hallway, not paying attention to what I’d picked. A vector cover with two characters locked in an embrace greeted me. “I’m not actually sure.”
I held the book up for Kylie’s inspection.
“I’ve heard good things about that one. I don’t really have much time for reading, though. TV either. Or most hobbies.” Kylie turned back to her phone, waving her hand towards me and my book. “You know how it is, being a career woman. Free time kind of evaporates. Got to keep climbing that corporate ladder.”
I tried to push down the immediate feelings of inadequacy triggered by her words. I could only imagine Kylie’s reaction if she learned how many hours I spent a week unplugged from work, doing yoga. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t a manager yet. I hadn’t traded my hours of mindful movement and meditation for high-powered spin classes filled with multitasking and networking.
“Who’s ready for an epic racing showdown?” Brad called, launching himself over the back of the couch and settling next to Tory. “We just need a couple of minutes to write up the bracket, and then we can head downstairs to the TV and gaming console.”
Trent walked into the room and scowled at the pair. Tory scooted to the side of the couch, creating room for him, but Trent ignored the gesture, settling in the armchair across the room instead.
“You seem awfully eager to lose.” Grey joined us in the living room, sitting next to me on the loveseat. Instead of waiting for me to move my feet, he picked them up and settled them in his lap, his hand resting on my ankle. Heat suffused my cheeks as I flashed back to our movie night.
“Not me.” I waved my book as if it excused me from the video game shenanigans. “I’m no good at video games.”
“Come on, Audrey! A tournament’s only fun if everyone plays,” Tory begged, her eyes wide and pleading.
“She’s just afraid of losing,” Grey commented.
“I’m no good, but I’m game,” Kylie chimed in, her gaze lingering a beat too long on Grey’s hand on my leg, my bare feet in his lap.
“I already know I’m going to lose, so how can I be afraid of it?” I shot back at Grey, moving my legs from his lap and placing my book on the floor.
He quirked a brow and shrugged, leaning back on the couch. “Why else would you back down from a video game tournament? Either you’re a party pooper, or you’re afraid.”
I bit my lip, considering my options. Either I backed out and proved him right, or I took the bait and joined in the games. Giving into Grey’s gentle teasing and nudging was becoming a habit I wasn’t sure I wanted to break, even if it meant losing more sleep.
“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you about my lacking skills.” I pushed up from the couch and sauntered downstairs, faking all the confidence I didn’t feel, hoping Grey would follow.