23. Chapter Twenty-Three
The next morning came too early. Despite going to bed hours later than normal, I was still the first one awake. Someday, I’d let go of anxiety and sleep past 7:30. Then again, maybe sleep deprivation would do me in, and I could sleep when I was dead. I lay in bed a few moments longer, attempting to doze off, but eventually accepted that I was awake and stumbled out to the living room.
I picked up the book I’d attempted to start the night before and settled in to read until everyone else woke up. My head pounded too much from the late night to attempt yoga.
The book was just starting to hold my interest when my phone buzzed and kept buzzing in my pocket. I pulled it out, the pressure behind my eyes intensifying as I registered who was calling: Drew. I rubbed my forehead, trying to relieve the tension, and accepted the call. The sooner I answered, the sooner I could get this over with. Maybe if I was lucky, my cell coverage would fail and the call would drop.
“Hi, Drew. What’s up?” I didn’t bother hiding my exhaustion, hoping he would hear it and cut our conversation short. Then again, I was more likely to discover unicorns in Island Park than for Drew to take interest in someone other than himself.
“Where are you?” Drew’s words were clipped and rushed.
I glanced at a rooster-themed clock on the wall, noting that my work shift would have started only a few minutes ago.
“I’m on vacation, remember? It’s been on the calendar for weeks.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to relieve the pounding in my head.
“I thought you were going for a couple of days. I’m certain—”
I cut in. “I’m certain my PTO request was for a week—and that you signed off on it. I can forward you the email approval, if you like.”
Now his voice was breathier, each word coming out faster than the last. “What I meant to say was, I didn’t expect you to take the whole time. You don’t go on long vacations. At most you only ever take off a day or two at a time.”
He hadn’t been on the team when I’d taken my leave of absence last summer to help my mom after the accident. Helping with the girls while Dave worked and Mom healed had taken weeks. Otherwise, he wasn’t wrong. Me and vacations weren’t often on speaking terms. The missed work and prep to leave were rarely worth the hassle of taking time off. Or at least, that’s what I told myself. This trip was making me reevaluate that assessment.
“This time, I am going to be gone the whole time. What do you need?” It wasn’t the most professional way to speak to my supervisor, but the pounding in my head meant I had little patience for Drew and his mind games. I was going to need a Pepsi sooner rather than later.
“The system update rolled out last night, and we could really use more people on the phones. Do you think you could come in for a couple of hours?” Over the course of the conversation, Drew’s voice had transformed from clipped and forceful to a nasally whine that would have done Lily and Poppy proud.
“No, I can’t.”
“We’ll pay time and a half. We really need you!” His voice was panicked and desperate, and I felt an odd sense of satisfaction.
“Then you should have thought of that before approving my time off during the system rollout. If you need people so much, you can hop on the phones.” Drew avoided working the phones like a hiker avoiding a bear fresh out of hibernation.
“I would, but I have meetings I really shouldn’t reschedule.”
“And I’m on a vacation that I really can’t leave. Good luck!” I hung up before Drew could say another word. Normally, I would stress about my reaction, worried that I had jeopardized my job. But they needed me too much. If Drew fired me, he’d have to actually do his job, and we both knew he’d do anything in his power to avoid that.
I settled back to read, my heart pounding an odd rhythm of excitement and anticipation. I’d stood up for myself, and the world hadn’t ended. It made me wonder what else would happen if I continued to stick up for myself, instead of just doing what everyone expected. I might wind up surprising everyone, including myself.
Hours later, after everyone had gotten up and eaten breakfast, Tory declared we would float the river today. Personally, I was shocked she had waited this long to go. Tory would live in the water if she could, embracing life as a freshwater mermaid. We all changed into swimsuits and grabbed inner tubes before driving to the river. We left Brad’s car in a pull off next to the river and then all crammed into Tory’s car to drive to the boat launch. Using a car pump that sounded like it was on its last leg and a couple of manual pumps Tory had found at the cabin, we got to work blowing up tubes for everyone.
With everyone else pumping up tubes, I put on sunscreen. I made quick work of my arms, legs, chest, and face, but struggled with my back. The sun, warm on my skin, made it clear I’d want the protection if I didn’t want to turn into a lobster later.
“Tory, when you’re done with that tube, do you mind getting my back?” I held up my spray tube of sunscreen and waved it at Tory, who sat sideways in the driver’s seat, using the car pump to inflate one of the brightly colored tubes.
“Of course,” she called over the buzz of the pump.
“I can do it,” Grey offered from where he stood behind me.
“Thanks,” I stammered, surrendering the sunscreen and turning to give him access to my back.
I braced for the cold contact of sunscreen on my skin but was surprised when his warm hands touched my back, rubbing the lotion into place instead of spraying it directly onto my back.
“Did you get your shoulders already?”
I nodded, the words stuck in my throat.
“What about your neck?” He was close enough that his breath tickled my skin, causing goose bumps to break out across my arms despite the warmth.
“Yep.” I managed to squeak out.
What was wrong with me? A few days ago, I would have done anything to avoid getting this close to Grey. But now? Something had shifted, and I was terrified to see where it led. Yet, another part of me, that same part that dreamed of teaching yoga and celebrated sticking up to Drew, felt exhilarated at the possibilities.
“Sunscreen! Good idea. Grey, will you do my back next?”
Kylie’s voice broke through our moment as she walked over to join us, her bright pink swimsuit drawing attention to her curves. I ducked away from Grey, my cheeks flaming as I moved to help Tory with the blue inner tube she was working on.
“What was that?” Tory asked, keeping her voice low so that only I could hear.
“Nothing,” I mumbled, reaching to close the valve on the tube and lifting it onto my shoulder.
“How do I sign up for some of that nothing time with Trent? Dang, girl. That was hot.”
“Stop it. It was nothing. See, he’s doing the same thing for Kylie.” I waved to where Grey helped Kylie with her sunscreen, but it clearly wasn’t the same. He sprayed the sunscreen directly on her skin causing her to squeal at the cold, not bothering to rub it in before handing the can to her.
“All done,” he said, moving to help Brad with another inner tube.
Kylie stood, looking lost, sunscreen in hand. I almost felt bad for the girl as she gave him a smile and batted her eyelashes at him. “Thanks, Grey. You’re a lifesaver. Want me to do yours?”
Grey shook his head, and it was one of the few times I hadn’t seen a smile hiding beneath his beard. “I’m going to keep my shirt on.” He waved towards his t-shirt. It had a picture of bigfoot and the words “Hide and Seek Champion.” It wasn’t his typical flannel, but the green color did wonderful things for his eyes.
We finished blowing up tubes and slipped on our lifejackets before everyone made their way to the water. There was a family already at the boat launch, but they waved us ahead as they dealt with a stubborn toddler who didn’t want to wear a lifejacket.
The water was cold, making me gasp with each step as I found my footing and navigated the river’s rocky bed.
“This makes the Firehole feel like a sauna,” I joked, looking around to see how everyone else was faring.
Tory and Trent were at the back, waiting for their turn to step into the water. Brad and Alex slipped around me to get into their tubes. I moved farther into the water, making room for Kylie and Grey near the boat launch before jumping up into my tube.
The inner tube was large, designed for a leisurely float on a river, with cup holders, a mesh bottom, and handles. I scootched around in my tube for a moment, getting comfortable as the current pulled me down river.
Brad and Alex were a few yards ahead of me, splashing and hollering at each other. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought the attractive twins were fifteen instead of in their late twenties. Behind me, Grey held Kylie’s tube as she repeatedly attempted and failed to climb in. I had to give her credit—the woman was determined and used every situation to her advantage. She finally got into the tube and immediately began calling for Grey to join her. Tory and Trent were both on their tubes, hands linked, as they began their float. Apparently, they had worked out their frustrations from yesterday, though there were still hints of tension in Trent’s shoulders and the corners of Tory’s eyes.
Resting fully on my tube, I watched the scenery drift by, my legs and back growing accustomed to the cold water while the sun warmed my face. The river was lined with trees, an occasional cabin breaking up the forest. The sounds of people talking, birds chirping, and the river’s gentle gurgle filled the air. Up ahead, I could see purple mountains. The river flowed gently, and while there were a handful of families who’d had the same idea, it wasn’t nearly as crowded as I’d anticipated. I let the peace sink into my bones, attempting to close my eyes and doze.
The sound of splashing drew my attention, and I found Grey making his way over to me, his hands acting as paddles. Kylie trailed a few feet behind, her shorter arms making it harder to follow.
“What do you think?” he asked, snagging one of my handles and linking our tubes together.
“It’s beautiful. If I lived here, I’d be tempted to float the river every day.” Contentment filled my voice as I pictured living in Island Park. The summers would be glorious, though I wasn’t sure I could handle the winters.
“Not me,” Kylie said.
She’d given up on rowing to catch up with Grey, instead walking over to us, splashing water our direction with every step. The water hit around her knees, and when she reached us, she managed to climb into her tube without any extra help from Grey. She grabbed onto Grey’s tube, making us a chain of three. She was determined, I’d give her that much. Even if the competitive nature Tory had mentioned meant Kylie couldn’t accept Grey’s clear disinterest.
“I hate getting my hair wet,” Kylie said, taking control of the conversation. “I feel naked without my makeup, but it’s much better than getting racoon eyes. Am I right?”
I nodded, not sure what to say in response. I thought I’d feel the same way, but I hated the thought of missing out on something so soothing because of the risk of racoon eyes.
“Racoon eyes are the worst. It takes hours to get my eyeliner just right, and this beard doesn’t paint itself on,” Grey said, causing a surprised giggle to burst from my lips. I could just picture Grey in front of a mirror, painstakingly painting on the beard that had occupied far too many of my thoughts this trip.
“You’re such a joker, Grey! That beard is all you, and it is all man,” Kylie said.
I bit down a gag, cringing at the terrible line. If Grey wasn’t holding onto my tube, I would have done everything in my power to escape this interaction. I eyed his hold on my tube and watched his fingers tighten, as if he could sense my desire for escape.
I scrambled for something to say, desperate to rediscover the calm of only moments before.
“Kylie,” I paused, still unsure what to ask. The words slowly spilled out of my mouth, hesitation evident in every syllable. “I feel like I barely know you. Remind me, how do you know Tory?” Maybe if I could steer the conversation away from anything remotely flirty, I would survive this river float.
“That’s actually a great story. Tory and I met at summer camp when we were kids and stayed in touch. When she moved to her new apartment, she knew I was looking for a place to live and invited me to be her roommate. I’m lucky she thought to ask me. We spend so much time together, and she’s introduced me to so many great friends…like Grey.” She looked over at Grey with a wide smile, while Grey refused to make eye contact, staring determinedly at the reeds lining the riverbank. “What about you, Audrey? How do you know Tory? I don’t think I’ve ever heard the story.”
At least her question was easy to answer.
“We were college roommates and have been friends ever since.” It wasn’t the full story, but was the simplest way to explain our connection. It was hard to sum up the chaos that had been our college apartment, how Tory and I had banded together to help each other survive the difficult dynamics that had existed between our other roommates. Emily had been a part of that effort too, acting as a sounding board when our roommates got to be too much. It still stung to think about her betrayal and how I would never be able to turn to her for advice or help again. As ridiculous as it sounded, a small part of me wanted to talk to her about Grey, get her thoughts about this man who was slowly infiltrating my heart. Yet, she and I had discussed my feelings for Lyle on many occasions, feelings she had disregarded.
“That’s so sweet. Aren’t college friends the best?” The way she said “college friends” implied a certain level of childishness to our friendship that I chose to ignore.
I struggled to think of another question to ask when the river intervened. We’d drifted too close to the side, and I found myself headed for a patch of reeds.
“Oh no!” Kylie shrieked, kicking away from the plants.
“Hang on.” Grey began kicking too, but even with the three of us working against it, the current continued pulling us closer until my rump got stuck on some rocks.
“Let go of my tube,” I said, already pushing to stand up. “I’ll walk back towards the center of the river and catch up with you guys.”
“Are you sure?” Grey asked, leaning forward to stand as well. I couldn’t tell if it was out of concern for me or because he didn’t want to be left alone with Kylie.
I wasn’t sure. I hated the thought of Kylie getting alone time with Grey, but I also recognized I wouldn’t be able to escape the reeds without standing. Additionally, I didn’t want to make them have to stand too, reforming our chain, with all its third wheel awkwardness.
“Of course. You guys go ahead,” I said through a tight smile, wishing there was a way to send Kylie ahead and get Grey to myself. Before I could second-guess my decision, I shooed them away before marching back to the center of the river with my tube, the river coming up to my calves, the current making my steps feel unsteady. It took a couple of awkward hops, but I was able to climb back on my tube and resume drifting with the current.
Up ahead, Grey and Kylie continued on their way. Kylie grasping Grey’s tube with one hand while the other waved animatedly in the air with whatever story she was telling.
“Are you sure that was a wise idea?” Tory called, floating up next to me and grabbing one of my tube handles. I looked around but didn’t see Trent. Maybe they hadn’t worked everything out after all.
“Grey’s a big boy. He can handle himself. Not to mention I don’t have a claim on him.” I tried for nonchalance, but I could feel the anxiety just under the surface. If I didn’t care for Grey, it would make things easier, safer. If I didn’t risk my heart, I couldn’t get hurt. Though I had a sinking suspicion it was too late for that. “Where’s Trent?”
Tory shrugged. “We got stuck on a bank a little while ago and had to let go. He floated ahead.”
I really hadn’t been paying attention to my surroundings if Trent had floated past and I hadn’t noticed.
“You didn’t want to stay with him?”
“I wanted to keep my view of the Audrey, Grey, and Kylie show,” Tory said with a smirk. “It’s almost as good as a TV dating show.”
“You’re terrible!” I flicked water at her, and she shrieked at the cold.
“Okay, okay,” she said, leaning away from me as I reached forward, ready to splash her more. “But you can’t tell me nothing’s happening there.” She quirked an eyebrow, and I leaned over my tube, ready to splash her again, needing a change of topic.
“Fine.” She held up the hand that wasn’t grasping my tube in a placating gesture. “I can take a hint. New topic. I feel like we haven’t had much time to talk since you got here. How’s work? How’s your mom?”
“Mom is great. She, Dave, and the girls are coming to visit in a couple of weeks, so that’ll be chaos.” Happiness filled my voice as I thought about the upcoming visit.
“I love your family. That’ll be so fun to have them visit. How old are the girls now?”
“Seven, though they’ll be eight in a couple weeks. They’re starting third grade this fall, and Mom says they’re already outgrowing their back-to-school outfits.” I shook my head, trailing my fingers in the water. Thoughts of my family were a mix of bitter and sweet that left me longing for a childhood so different from the one I had experienced. “If they grow too much more, they’ll be taller than me.”
“How can they possibly be almost eight? That makes me feel old.” Tory laughed, and we continued floating down the river, playing catch up on each other’s lives.
Tory shared about her work frustrations and how she wished to quit her job and live in the cabin full-time as a recluse.
“You wouldn’t survive a week. You’re too much of an extrovert,” I said, though the idea did hold a certain appeal.
I reciprocated, sharing about how I worried I’d be forever trapped in customer service.
“I got a business degree so that they’d see me as leadership material. But they just see me as a lackey who can fill in whenever leadership is gone, but not skilled enough to promote into an actual leadership role.” I kicked my feet in frustration, my conversation with Drew from earlier echoing in my mind.
“I don’t know why you stay there. They don’t appreciate you.” Tory leaned back into her tube.
“Where would I go? Most likely I’d have to start entry-level, and I don’t know if I can handle that type of hoop-jumping again. At least I’m on the email team.” Though Drew had a tendency to stick me on phones whenever the fancy suited him.
“You know, I never pictured you in some boring office job.”
“Really?” I leaned forward to see her better. A boring office job was all I’d ever pictured, with its security and health insurance benefits.
Not true, a quiet voice whispered in my thoughts. It was the same voice, growing louder every day, that dreamed of teaching yoga and embracing a life of more calm and flexibility.
Tory shook her head. “Nope. I always thought you’d be a yoga instructor or something involving the outdoors. Maybe a park ranger.”
I laughed, ignoring the first suggestion that had struck too close to home. “Can you picture me as a park ranger? I don’t think I have the right bone structure for the hat.”
“To be fair, I don’t think anyone does.”
We were the last ones to finish the float. By the time we got to the bank where we needed to climb out, everyone else was wrapped in the towels we’d left in Brad’s car, their tubes already deflated.
“Where are Brad and Trent?” Tory asked, looking around for the missing group members as we navigated the muddy shore.
“Since Trent had your keys, Brad drove him to get your car. We weren’t sure how far back the two of you were and wanted to save time getting back for lunch,” Alex said as he took my tube. I gratefully accepted the help as I snagged my own towel, the breeze causing goose bumps to pebble on my skin now that I was out of the river.
“That was very…considerate and efficient of everyone.” Tory sounded happy about the turn of events, but her face pinched in concern.
“I’m starving. What’s for lunch?” I asked.
I hoped the change of topic would ease the tension around Tory’s eyes, but I knew it wouldn’t fully disappear until the guys returned without issue. She may have talked to Trent, but that didn’t mean he’d let the tension between himself and Brad drop. I’d only known Trent a couple of months, and while his competitive nature was one thing that had attracted Tory to him, I had also seen it turn into ugly obsession. Hopefully, this time he really would let it go.
Glancing over, I noticed Kylie and Grey standing close together. Kylie’s smile beamed as they talked, a private conversation for just the two of them. Grey, while not smiling, didn’t look nearly as bothered by Kylie’s chatter and proximity as he had earlier in our float.
I shrugged it off, telling myself I was happy for the two of them. If they’d found a way to get along better, it was a good thing. Unfortunately, that did not stop me from wishing I was the one standing next to Grey, sharing in a private conversation. Especially when he looked up, his brown eyes snagging on mine for a moment, his lips tipping up into a smile just for me. It made me miss our time in the car on the drive up, even the night in Hank and Dot’s guestroom. Two experiences I’d never thought I would enjoy.