Chapter 15
Aurora hadn’t been able to stop thinking of the incident in her grandfather’s study. For days afterward, she considered the weight of discovering your uncle’s death, so many years after it had happened—and in such a violent fashion. She had nightmares about it.
But every moment that passed told Aurora what she needed to do.
She had to ask Oren and Kenny not to use the footage they’d taken of Benjamin Whitmore for the documentary about Nantucket’s history.
She felt that they’d ambushed him, that they’d taken advantage of his heart and his mind, all in pursuit of “art” or whatever.
She wasn’t even sure the documentary was art anymore.
During this thought process, she’d kept a wide berth from Kenny and Oren, unsure of how to approach it.
They’d texted her a few times, inviting her to the library to conduct research or to interview a few other historical-adjacent people on the island.
But each time, she’d brushed them off, saying that she needed to deal with some stuff at the Lodge.
A full week after her grandfather’s interview, Aurora put on her favorite red dress and went to the stables to talk to Oren and Kenny. It was a gloomy day, and most of the guests were inside, sipping cocktails and playing cards rather than asking about horseback riding lessons or tours.
She found Kenny and Oren lounging in the barn, waiting for their shift to end.
Oren was on his phone, scrolling endlessly through other people’s photographs, and Kenny was reading Moby Dick, which felt endlessly attractive to Aurora, although she’d never read it herself.
When her shadow spilled through the barn’s hay, Kenny put down his book and stood.
“Aurora, hey,” he said. His eyes looked wounded, as though he’d hated that she was avoiding them.
Oren stood, too. He offered her a crooked smile. “There she is,” he said. “You ready to get back to work?”
Aurora clasped her hands over her stomach. She’d practiced this speech in her head, but only in Italian, so now, she had to translate it into English. She wasn’t sure if it was going to go well.
“Hey, guys,” she said. “I wanted to talk to you about the interview the other day? The thing is, I don’t think it’s right to use that footage of my grandfather.”
Oren immediately scoffed. “You’re kidding, right?”
Kenny remained quiet, contemplative.
“You know he signed the release,” Oren said. There still wasn’t anger in his voice, although she imagined it was coming soon. “And it was your idea to interview him, remember? You came to us with the journals. And they’re amazing journals! We seriously can’t sit on something like that.”
“I know what I said,” Aurora said. “But I have changed my mind.” She considered telling Oren that she was only just getting to know her grandfather, that she didn’t want to break his trust so early in their relationship.
“Listen, I really like your documentary, and I want to help you more, if you want me to. But things about my family, things that could hurt them, have to be off-limits.”
Oren’s cheeks reddened. But he wasn’t embarrassed. He simply didn’t know how to listen to her.
“I can’t believe I’m hearing this,” he said, turning to look at Kenny. “Can you believe it?”
Kenny raised his shoulders and didn’t say anything.
“Anyway,” Aurora said, turning away from them.
“I’m sorry, I guess?” Rather than wait around for more of Oren’s display of disbelief, she took off to the beach, where she removed her dress and plunged into the waves.
She swam out for a while, then turned back to watch as Oren stormed out of the barn.
Kenny remained near the door, speaking to the guy who was taking over the stables after their shift.
Aurora wondered if Kenny and Oren were arguing. She wondered if it was about her, then told herself it didn’t matter. She had to do what was right for her family.
When Kenny was done speaking with the other stable hand, he turned and looked out at the water, directly at Aurora.
It was clear he knew exactly where she’d gone and wanted to speak to her.
His eyes were inky black and tantalizing.
Aurora remained where she was, treading water and urging him to come out and find her.
Kenny came to the beach, removing his shirt as he went. He stripped to his boxers, then got into the water without hesitation. Aurora’s heart pounded. She didn’t know if this was real, not anymore. It was beginning to feel like a film or a dream.
Kenny swam out to her. Aurora continued to tread water. When he reached her, he gazed at her, treading water about a foot away. She thought maybe their legs were going to get tangled.
Finally, Kenny said, “He’s really angry.”
“I don’t care,” Aurora said.
Kenny nodded. “For the record, I think you’re doing the right thing.”
Aurora was surprised, but she said nothing else.
“I respect you as an artist,” Kenny said. “But I especially respect that you want to protect your family. From the sounds of things, the Whitmores have been through enough.”
“They really have,” Aurora said.
“You all have,” Kenny reminded her. “You’re a Whitmore, too.”
They continued to hold one another’s gaze.
Aurora had to remind herself to keep breathing.
Just when she thought she might have to swim back to shore, for fear of dying, Kenny swam closer and kissed her, right here beneath the gorgeous cloudy sky.
Aurora closed her eyes, then kissed him deeper, with more urgency.
She couldn’t believe this was happening.
For weeks, she’d wanted this. And now, immediately after Kenny’s fight with Oren, he was going for it.
What did it mean?
Their kiss broke. They studied one another, sizing one another up.
And then, across the water, they heard a horrible groan.
Aurora turned to find Oren on the beach, also with his shirt off.
He glared at them. “Is that how it’s going to be?
” he called out, smacking his legs. He then turned on his heel and stormed back toward the Lodge, leaving gashes in the sand as he went.
It took a minute for the scene to register, at least for Kenny.
All at once, he swam violently toward shore, splashing and calling out Oren’s name.
Aurora hung back, sensing that whatever was happening between Oren and Kenny was something ancient, a hangover from their teenage years.
Kenny was on the beach, racing after Oren, still screaming his name.
Aurora continued to tread water. She could still taste Kenny on her lips. Her heart still ached for him, although she didn’t know how to call him back to her. She wondered if that was the first and last time she’d ever kiss him.
Back in her room, Aurora lay on her bed in only a towel, wondering what was going to happen next. Beside her was her mother’s journal, still buzzing with all the entries Aurora had yet to read. To get her mind off her own messy life, Aurora opened it to where she’d left off.
July 16, 1996
It’s hard to believe it, but Allegra’s friend Nancy spotted Carter.
Apparently, she was on vacation in Manhattan, eating an ice cream cone, when Carter walked by.
She called his name, and he didn’t even pretend not to see her or anything.
He came over and talked to her, as though everything was normal, as though moving to Manhattan on his own was always in the cards.
To Nancy’s credit, she didn’t let Carter go without a fight.
Nancy doesn’t know about the miscarriage – nobody does except Allegra and me—but she does know that Carter took off without telling me where he was going, and she also knows that he took off right before high school graduation, which seems pretty dumb.
(Honestly, I still don’t know what to think about it.)
Carter told her that he had an opportunity, an audition on Broadway. That’s why he left Nantucket early. Apparently, he worked something out with our teachers and is going to graduate officially at the end of the autumn semester.
When Nancy asked why he left me like that, Carter shrugged and told her that we wanted different things.
Aurora groaned and closed her eyes. Her poor mother!
Abandoned, reeling from a miscarriage, lost in the month post-high-school-graduation.
She’d probably thought her life was officially over.
Just two years later, the White Oak Lodge would burn, and she’d go to Italy and get a new lease on life.
But for two years, Aurora guessed, Lorelei lived in a state of misery.
How she wished she could ask her mother about it. How she wished she knew what Lorelei thought about that time of her life, now—now that Lorelei was forty-nine and on the brink of what seemed to be a divorce. Aurora closed her mother’s journal and closed her eyes.
A half hour later, Kenny called. Aurora answered it tentatively, frightened of what Kenny would tell her.
His voice was shaky as he explained that Oren was going to use every bit of footage he wanted.
“He thinks it’s his art, not ours,” Kenny said angrily.
“He said it isn’t up to us to edit what he does with his documentary. ”
Aurora didn’t know what to say.
“That’s how he always thinks about it,” Kenny said.
“He always thinks it’s his art we’re making, rather than a collaborative thing.
And Aurora, he says he has more dirt on your family.
I don’t know what it could be. I don’t know what he’s planning.
But tonight, he quit working here at the Lodge, and he told me to stay away from him. ”
By the sounds of things, Aurora thought Kenny was going to burst into tears.
“I’m so sorry,” Kenny said. “He gets like this. I don’t know.”
But Aurora knew the real tragedy in Kenny’s life was that, in one fell swoop, with one beautiful kiss to the woman Oren had wanted instead, Kenny had lost his best friend.
Aurora’s heart went out to him, even though she wanted to protect the Whitmores, even though she knew all this was partially her fault.
“Are you going back to Rome?” Kenny asked, surprising her.
Aurora felt it like rocks in her stomach. “I can’t go back to Rome,” she whispered. “Something happened there. Something I can’t face.” And then, like Kenny, she burst into tears too.