27. Chapter 27
We agreed to meet back down on the boardwalk in five minutes. Lisa and I wanted actual shoes instead of flip-flops since the walk stretched close to three miles. I kept the bikini on. And not for practicability.
I did it for him.
Of course, I kept my shorts on and held onto his T-shirt for later in case I got cold, but for now, why not share the view a little more? The way he reacted earlier still hummed beneath my skin. And the kiss?
I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
After the initial confusion and that flash of something dark in his expression, it finally clicked. I hadn’t embarrassed him. I’d shaken him. And once I recognized the look—the same one Alek wore whenever Kinsley walked into the room wearing something sexy—everything in me shifted.
I was well aware that femininity and sensuality were powerful tools that women held. I just had never felt the surge that came with using them. Never allowed myself to.
“You and Pasha. You’re good together. I’m happy he’s found someone,” Lisa remarked, pulling me from my thoughts.
I flushed, knowing she was only seeing a performance. “He’s amazing, honestly,” I answered.
It was the truth, and that made it believable. He really was amazing. His earlier words, regarding being a part of our family and fitting in, came back to me. “I’d like to think I do.” My heart had caught when he said it.
He absolutely fit. It wasn’t imagined. I tried to picture him not being a part of our everyday lives, and it didn’t compute. If he weren’t around, it would be like Winter’s absence, glaring obvious, in not only our hearts but everywhere else that mattered.
My phone pinged.
COUNSELOR:
Got time for an old friend?
A smile tugged at my mouth.
ISABELLA:
Always. Getting ready to walk the boardwalk. Is everything okay?
COUNSELOR:
Yeah. How is our boy doing?
I hesitated.
ISABELLA:
Pasha? Good. He’s realizing he’s grown a lot.
“Sorry, it’s home,” I murmured to Lisa while the dots pulsed on the screen.
It struck me as strange that Marcel was asking me about Pasha. Was there something he wasn’t saying? Had Pasha reached out and said something about earlier?
“No worries,” Lisa replied. “I always wanted siblings, but it was only me. Mom had a hard time. How big is your family?”
“Biologically? Just me and Bash,” I said. “Chosen? There will be ten of us. Eleven if you count me. The Kings and my family grew up together. The rest were…collected along the way.”
“Eleven in one house?”
My head whipped up.
“Sorry,” she added quickly. “Pasha mentioned your living arrangements.”
“Right. It’s loud. Chaotic. But big enough to disappear when you need to.”
Another message came through.
COUNSELOR:
Tell him to reach out if he needs an ear. I’m here for him, seriously. Love you both.
That made my stomach twist.
ISABELLA:
I will. Give my love to the family. Kiss Declan for me.
The lift landed with a soft jerk. Outside, the others were already gathering.
“Shelia insisted I come along. She’s gonna stay here,” Reggie offered.
We set off, and the boardwalk swallowed us whole. Salt air clung to my skin. The ocean rolled endlessly beside us. Laughter, music, and the distant screams of people on rides drifted through the breeze.
Pasha’s hand brushed mine. When his fingers laced through, the contact sent a small, electric ripple up my arm.
We walked for a while and then found the arcade.
I slipped his T-shirt on, loving the smell of him on it.
Both of the girls at home went on and on about how calming the scent of their men were, and I reluctantly had to admit they were right.
I quickly tied the loose ends through one of the loops on my shorts. I’d seen Kinsley do it a thousand times. Inside, the group mingled together and soon, with the whirlwind of games and laughter, Pasha let go a little more.
Inside, chaos reigned in the best possible way. Neon lights flickered overhead. Bells rang. Children shrieked in triumph or devastation. The air smelled faintly of popcorn and metal. Pasha stepped up to a machine.
It was a basketball hoop game. He started stretching like he was preparing for a round with Ivan in the boxing ring back home. I bit back laughter and shook my head at him. Within seconds, his competitive streak ignited.
With his jaw set and his shoulders squared, that lazy confidence sharpened into focus. Every muscle in his forearms flexed as he gripped the ball. I leaned against a nearby game and snapped a few pictures.
He bit the inside of his cheek when he missed a shot. Pumped his fist when he nailed one. In between, he trash-talked—what I assumed was trash talk—under his breath in Russian.
God, he was beautiful like this.
All the guys took turns. When he finally cleared a round, he spun around looking for me.
“There she is,” he declared, stalking toward me.
He grabbed me around the middle without warning and lifted me clean off the ground, twirling once before setting me back down. I squealed, clutching his shoulders as he laughed.
“I’m out of tokens,” he said, already backing away. “Don’t let them play without me. I’m about to become the reigning champion.”
Hannah exhaled loudly through her nose. When he returned with more tokens, he stopped in front of me.
“Before I destroy them,” he said solemnly. “I require a good-luck kiss.”
Lisa gasped, “Oh my God, yes.”
I rolled my eyes but stepped forward anyway, grabbing his jaw and pressing a quick kiss to his mouth. His hand slid to my hip and squeezed.
“Win in my honor and I’ll reward you handsomely back at the hotel,” I breathed, brushing the wayward lock of hair from his forehead.
His eyes bore into mine. “Consider it done.”
Reggie clapped, and I laughed at the way Pasha wiggled his eyebrows. And he did win. By the time end of it, his name sat at the top of the three different screens, and he made a dramatic bow in my direction.
Lisa applauded, and Hannah muttered something. I ignored her unhappy ass and planted another kiss on ‘my man’.
Eventually, we wandered back outside and stopped in front of a towering roller coaster. Steel tracks twisted violently against the sky, daring anyone foolish enough to trust it. Pasha’s eyes lit up.
“It’s on the list,” he sang, already pulling me forward. “Or, well, something close. The London eye…” he paused, squinting at the sign, “How bad can the Boardwalk Banshee be?”
“She looks like she was built in the 50s.”
He made a soft clucking sound under his breath. I blinked at him.
“Did you just—”
He put his hands under his arms like a damned chicken.
“Lev,” I warned, trying not to laugh and panic at the same time. “I’m not ready.”
He caught my waist and pulled me into him before I could retreat. “You are. Look at today. You’ve spent the entire day with strangers. You wore a bikini. And looked good enough to eat.”
He playfully nipped at my neck as I pushed his face away. “You handled the ex old ball and chain without flinching. And you’re still smiling,” he sang.
“But it’s so high.” I tilted my head back to glare at the monstrous structure.
“I’ll be right beside you.”
The look on his face stole my breath for an entirely different reason. There was no teasing in it now. Just excitement. Pride. A boyish kind of joy that made my chest ache. It had been a good day.
No, it had been a great one.
“Ride it with me,” he murmured against my ear, sending goosebumps spiraling over my arms and neck.
Why did he have to say it that way? Ride it…I shivered, and the butterflies returned in full force. I had to press my thighs together, praying he wouldn’t notice the obvious movement. Fear of heights versus the promise of him speaking low in my ear the entire time.
“What if I get up there and freak out?” I asked. “What then?”
“Then you scream. Everyone does. It’s one of the only public places you can lose control and nobody questions it.”
“Public places, huh?”
“Well, I’ve been known to—”
I punched him on the arm, not wanting to hear him say he’d made other women scream down at the club.
“Come on. Lose control with me.”
Lose control? Shit, that was what I was already doing, wasn’t it? My stomach flipped. The ideas he planted with his innuendos were going to be the death of me. I shifted my weight, nerves rising like static beneath my skin.
For me, panic attacks had a specific taste. Metallic and sharp—and I could almost sense the ghost of one forming at the edges. Only Sebastian had ever seen it happen.
Not even Marcel.
I’d learned how to swallow them. Shut them down until I could get to a private place and manage it alone. The roller coaster creaked as another car climbed.
Why did I put it on the list to begin with?
The stubborn Caruso blood surged.
Because you want to grow.
“Fine,” I huffed. “Will you hold my hand?”
Rich laughter ripped from his chest, and I joined him.
“God, that sounded pathetic didn’t it? Where’s Kinsley when you need her? Am I right?” I asked.
“I will hold whatever you need me to. And if you’re girl Kinsley were here, she’d be patting the seat on the ride and hissing at you to get your ass moving.”
Our feet carried us into line. Each step forward made my pulse jump. The wait wasn’t long, which somehow made it worse. I watched people climb in. Heard the click of restraint locking into place. Heard the first scream as the car launched.
We were next. The attendant held up a hand. “You’ll go on the next round.”
I exhaled loudly. Luck was giving me a moment to breathe. Pasha chuckled beside me.
“You know what that means right?” he teased.
I shook my head, too busy trying not to faint.
“Front row seats.”
My eyes snapped to his. I tried to slip past him. He caught my wrist and hauled me back gently but firmly. “Absolutely not. You. Me. Front of the car. We’re going to see it all. Experience it all.”
“I’m going to throw up on you,” I informed him as adrenaline flooded my bloodstream and another round of screams echoed above us. He leaned close, brushing his thumb across my bottom lip.