31. Chapter 31
Well, that didn’t end the way I thought it was going to.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror.
My skin was still flushed, lips swollen, eyes glassy.
I ran my fingers over my sensitive nipples, remembering that a minute ago they were in his mouth.
And if my damned brother hadn’t called, my pussy would be right at this moment.
I sighed. Maybe it was for the best.
“You’re asking for trouble,” I muttered to the woman in the mirror.
Through the door, Pasha’s conversation drifted through. The words were low and clipped at the edges. I couldn’t hear Sebastian, but I didn’t need to. The tension in Lev’s tone said it all. He was pacifying my brother. Again.
I got dressed and then straightened up the messy bathroom. Anything to buy myself another thirty seconds to steady my thoughts.
But I couldn’t avoid this forever. Best to rip the Band-Aid off. I opened the door just as he ended the call and tossed his phone onto the chair with more force than necessary. He turned at the sound of my throat clearing.
“We should talk,” I said.
My stomach growled. Loudly. Mortified, I slapped a hand over it like that would help. His jaw twitched. Then he smiled. Then I did. And just like that, we were both laughing.
“You clearly need to eat,” he said, pulling out a chair.
“You think?”
“We can do both. Sit,” he commanded.
“You sit,” I shot back automatically.
A brow lifted. “Is this how it’s going to be?”
“I don’t know,” I countered. “Is it?”
“Do you have to fight me on everything?”
“Maybe,” I answered with a grin. “You know, I’m capable of dialing down for room service. I’m assuming you didn’t make it through dinner, considering how fast you came back. You want something?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You sure? Dessert?” I picked up the hotel phone and hit the restaurant button before he could answer.
“I had plans for dessert, but someone got in the way.”
I ignored that. Or tried to. Talking needed to happen before we slid back into teasing and pretending we hadn’t just crossed major lines. I walked over to the patio door and slid it open, then pulled the screen shut.
The sound of the ocean rolled in, steady and rhythmic. The fireplace crackled behind us. Warm light flickered across the walls. It was calming and the perfect backdrop. I took the seat across from him.
“I preferred you naked,” he said casually.
“That’s probably not a good idea.” I folded my hands in my lap to keep from fidgeting. “Things…are getting…”
He watched me struggle. “Confusing?” he offered.
“Yeah, you could say that. I guess it’s to be expected. You’re a very sexual being. Clearly you know your way around a woman’s body. What the hell did you do to me in there?” I jerked my head toward the bathroom door.
“G-spot orgasm? You’ve never had one?” He beamed, his chest puffed and everything.
I shook my head. “Yeah, because I have had so much sex in my life.”
“Sorry, I assumed you might have given yourself one before, because you’re a very sexual being,” he mimicked.
“You want to sleep on the floor tonight? If not, I suggest you be nice to me. I’m starving,” I said. “Not to mention exhausted, and my pussy is a little sore.”
I winced as I sat down.
“Shit, I’m sorry. You said not to stop.”
Guilt-filled puppy-dog eyes looked my way. I chuckled.
“I would have killed you if you did. I’ve never experienced anything like that before. Is that what fucking feels like?”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Depends on who you’re with. Most men don’t take the time to know what a woman’s body is capable of.”
My face heated under his stare, but I didn’t care. Who the hell else was I going to ask about this right now? Kinsley? She’d have me knocked up and giving birth right alongside her. Tori? She’d hem and haw.
Her brows would draw together, and worry lines would crease her forehead. She might be tempted to seek counsel from Marcel. They’d say I was rushing things. I was twenty-four years old. It was time for a little rushing.
A knock sounded, and I rose. He glared and said, “Sit your ass down. You are not answering the door. You’re not wearing a bra, for fuck’s sake.”
I went to argue, but realized he was right. He brought the tray over and set it down in front of me. I pulled the dome back and leaned in to inhale the deliciousness of the cheeseburger on the plate. I cut it in half and brought a chip to my mouth and savored it.
“You even eat pretty,” he teased, shaking his head.
“I’m tempted to shove the entire half of this burger in my mouth. Stop trying to say nice things to me. It’s what’s getting us into this mess.”
He rubbed the back of his head in confusion. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Bella. I’ve been acting like a damn teenager and that’s not excusable. I know better.”
“It’s not all your fault. We wouldn’t have done any of what happened earlier if I hadn’t shoved your hand up my leg on that stupid roller coaster.”
“So truce, then?”
“Yeah, but I was thinking. I may stay back tomorrow. Today was actually overwhelming and I’m feeling burned out already and we have, what, four more days. I swear it feels like we’ve been here forever.”
He nodded and played with the binding of my sketchpad. It struck me as strange that I didn’t feel the need to yank it away from him, but I knew he wouldn’t open it without my permission. It wasn’t like there was much in it, anyway. It was new.
“Whatever you need to do to feel comfortable is good with me,” he said after several long minutes of silence. His thumb dragged along the condensation on my water glass. “I mean that. If you want me to sleep on the floor, I will. I feel like an ass…taking advantage of you.”
That made my head snap up.
“You didn’t. Or at least I don’t see it that way.” I held his gaze. “We’re both adults, Pasha.”
His jaw flexed. “I know. But we shouldn’t push things. It could get messy. And we’re friends.”
He exhaled long and slow. I couldn’t tell if it was relief. Or resignation. For me, it was the latter.
“So, we agree,” I said, folding my hands together so he wouldn’t see them tremble. “No more of…”
His lips twitched. “Agreed.”
My body still hummed. My skin still remembered his masterful touch. We had four more days. If I stayed while he did the intensive, it would keep things structured and a hell of a lot safer.
“I want to show you something,” I said, pivoting before the silence could swallow us again. “Get your thoughts.”
I unlocked my phone. He leaned closer, shoulder brushing mine, studying the image. The ocean skyline. The angle of the light. The curve of the boardwalk.
“I took this earlier today,” I explained. “I was thinking about drawing it as a wedding present. What do you think?”
He didn’t answer right away. His eyes lifted from the screen and held mine instead.
“I think Lisa would love something like that. You’re amazing, you know.”
The compliment hit harder than it should have. My girls would say it was dangerously close to praise. Shit, did I have a praise kink? Surely not. I gulped at the warmth that had spread under his attention. Then in that way only he had, he had me laughing again.
“Now give me a bite of your cheeseburger,” he added, reaching across and stealing half without permission. “I didn’t eat.”
I rolled my eyes, but it was all in fun. He didn’t realize I’d cut it in half because I knew he would want some. I pushed the plate closer between us and smiled.
Two Days Later
Things got back to normal between Pasha and I fairly quickly, which was a good thing because Kinsley had called the next day and I could tell from the conversation and the way she was asking questions she was hoping things were developing between the two of us.
While I couldn’t fault her for dreaming, it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe if we weren’t so closely knit as a family, I could have explored more with Pasha. As it stood, to pacify Kinsley, I told her I’d go out on a double date with her when I got home.
Of course, I’d have to find someone first. There was still time. I told her she could set me up on MingleMe when I got home. She was giddy about the profile and asked if she could get started on it. I let her run with it.
Why not?
No one from Pasha’s friend group was bothered that I hadn’t attended the intensive, which left me relieved. Dinner the following night had been normal, and no one mentioned game night. Which made it more possible for Pasha and me to limit our PDA effectively.
He still held my hand, kissed my forehead in parting, and placed his hand on the small of my back whenever we went walking, but it was not overly sexual. The balance between friendship and something more was a delicate one in any friend group.
Ours made it impossible. The stakes were too high. Not to mention Sebastian. After speaking with him for close to an hour—yes, an hour—I wanted to scream. It was as if he knew without having to be told, and I don’t know what pissed me off more.
The fact that he felt the need to bring it up, or that he was right. Jeopardizing our connections for the sake of seven minutes in heaven would be straight up foolish, reckless even. Sebastian’s last words burned a hole in my heart.
Imagine how Kinsley would feel if I had to kill him for crossing the line. And just so we’re clear, I will kill him without a second thought.
Something like that would have a ripple effect. And I wasn’t being dramatic either, because it honestly was. Not only would someone I care deeply about no longer be breathing, but Kinsley would never get over it.
She would hate Sebastian, which would affect his relationship with the Kings. Marcel would have to choose a side, and yeah, it would have a ripple effect, for sure. One I didn’t want to be the cause of starting, so it was for the best.
No way in hell I’d risk losing the bonds we’d built as a family.
I sighed. The sun was exceptionally warm today, and since I was not down at the beach but on the private patio of our hotel, I opted to wear one of the other swimsuits Kinsley purchased.
While it had more coverage for the girls, it definitely left more of my ass hanging out, or maybe it was just the way it fit.
I sat, pencil poised over the page, and let my mind drift. Today was the last day of the intensive class, and we were supposed to attend the show later tonight. I was mid-sketch, lost in the rhythmic strokes of the lines and curves of my drawing, when I noticed a shadow fall over me.
Slowly, I took him in. There was something insanely attractive about him post-workout. That magnetic pull once more had me appreciating the glistening sweat on him. Clad in a snug-fitting black tank top and matching sweats, he was striking.
The fabric of the shirt hugged his body. Beneath it, the outline of his tattoos teased me. I put those there. A thrill raced through my veins. He somehow looked tanner than when we first arrived, which was silly since I probably spent more time in the sun than him the last two days.
I loved the play of light and shadow across his face and the golden-brown depths of his eyes as they shimmered with a familiar intensity. He flashed me a lopsided grin. It tugged at the corners of his lips, casting a playful gleam in his eyes.
As I continued to stare, his smile widened. It reached his eyes, and speaking of them; they sparkled and his entire being radiated pure joy. I couldn’t help but feel like something major happened today for him.
“What?” I asked, tilting my head.
“You won’t believe it, but I got a job offer,” he said, practically bounding on the balls of his feet. His chest puffed with pride, and all the air left my lungs.
My heart dropped, free-fell off the face of the earth. “A job offer? Here?”
A churning rush of emotions raced through me. He couldn’t be serious. My sketchpad suddenly felt heavy on my lap.
“Yeah, crazy, huh? They have a training course coming up.”
He was extremely flexible and athletic. He loved dance and was made for it. But all I could think about was an empty house in London. Silent mornings at the breakfast table, another empty seat to stare at. The absence of his steady presence.
What the hell was I supposed to say? Congratulations? That’s amazing? Great job? It would come out as hollow as penne. I forced a smile, trying to mask the turmoil inside.
“It would be a tremendous opportunity,” he said, still grinning like a fool.
I stood abruptly, my hands flying to my hips. How could he think about taking such an offer? His words had my mind spiraling. I was filled with confusion and fear. I didn’t want to lose him.
“And you took it? Without discussing it with the family?” I demanded, hating that my breathing had increased to the point where panic threatened to take over.
His eyes were drawn to my breasts hungrily. They pebbled under his scrutiny. This was not the time for my body to react to him. Damn it all to hell. His tongue wet his lower lip, and I held my breath, waiting for him to answer.
“Well, did you?”