Chapter 12 #2
Najee’s jaw flexed. He wanted to dial Janelle back and talk bad to her, but it was obvious she wouldn’t care. She’d only act even more clueless, and that would only piss him off more.
“You want my advice, or for me to just make you feel better?”
He could go about it either way. As an outsider looking in, he assessed the situation from all the angles he’d been privy to.
“Don’t feel obligated to?—”
“But I am,” he said, interrupting whatever she was about to say. “That’s why you asked me, right?”
Vulnerably, Orielle nodded.
“A’ight. My two cents first. I’m not saying to overlook what she’s not doing but give her grace.
You said she didn’t fully start trying to parent until you were grown, and to me, it seems like she’s still trying to figure it out.
She doesn’t know what being a parent is or what it even looks like, baby. ”
Orielle sniffled, and he continued.
“Now, on the other hand, she’s grown and can comprehend unless the liquor destroyed her brain cells, which I doubt.
If you’ve told her how you feel and nothing changes, then you have every right to keep your distance and enforce strict boundaries.
If a mothafucka has no remorse for making you feel unloved, they don’t deserve your presence.
Stop picking up the phone for them and reaching out.
Your heart is too pure for anyone to keep hurting you, and I’m not gon’ sit back and let them either. ”
Those stubborn tears of hers broke free again, sliding freely down her face.
Orielle couldn’t contain them this time, and she didn’t try to.
He’d given her the safest space to let her guard down, and Orielle threw that bitch to the ground.
Bottling things up was detrimental to her nervous system, but it was safe with Najee.
He had his own little safety net for her.
Orielle didn’t put up a fight when he pulled her into his lap, cradling her as she poured her heart out.
“I know that shit hurts, baby. Get all them tears out. It’s going to be okay,” he reassured so lovingly, while rubbing her back.
She bawled into his chest. No man, not even the one who helped create her, had given her this much affection.
Right there in Najee’s lap, she realized the cause of her heartache wasn’t solely because of Janelle.
Orielle had never been seen. She’d never been heard this way; never been given the space to just be and not shrink. She’d never been chosen.
Not by her parents.
Not by Bobby.
Not by the record labels.
Not even by the cheerleading coach when she was in fifth grade.
But more importantly, and for so long, she hadn’t chosen herself.
There had to be a time in her life where no one mattered but her.
She could still care, but the problem was caring more than anyone else.
The scales hadn’t been balancing. Her cup had been depleted while she made sure others were overflowing.
Putting herself last was why she felt like she had been behind in life for so long. Suddenly, it all clicked.
Najee said nothing as she got it all out. His wet tank top clung to his chest when she finally lifted her head. Reaching for the bottle of water on the table, he grabbed it, twisted the top, and handed it to her. Orielle drank it down before handing him the empty plastic.
“Whew,” she breathed heavily. “I’m okay now. I needed that.”
He thumbed her wet cheeks. “I know you did.”
“Thank you for not judging me.”
Najee cupped her face in his hands, and Orielle wanted to cry all over again from his tenderness. Instead, she rapidly blinked her lids, trying to remain focused on his face.
“You don’t have to thank me. That’s what I’m here for. I damn sure don’t have any room to judge and never will, a’ight?”
She nodded. “Okay.”
Najee gave her a kiss, and Orielle climbed off his lap. Clearing her throat and sniffling, she said, “I think I’ma go home for a few days.”
Najee adjusted his shorts and tried to play it cool, telling himself to just say okay, but failed miserably. “Why?”
“I feel like I overstayed my welcome, and I have a long week. Need to get focused.”
“What you running for?”
Orielle stopped gathering her things from the coffee table and stared at him. “What?”
“You’re running because you’re vulnerable right now. I get that, but I didn’t say I wanted you to leave. You think I don’t want you here because you don’ cried on my chest?”
She shrugged. “Yes... I mean, no. I don’t know. I don’t want to be clingy. It’s giving damsel in distress.”
Najee grabbed her hand, pulling her in between his legs. “It can give whatever the fuck it wants as long as you’re here, a’ight? I want you in my space, slobbering on my pillows, using up all the hot water, and devouring the meals I cook for you. What the hell I’ma do if you go home?”
Orielle smirked, and goodness, did it feel good. Her tender heart bloomed like a flower revealing itself in the spring.
“Call me on FaceTime and tell me how much you miss me.”
“Exactly. Why do that when I can just have you here?”
Orielle ran her thumb over his bushy eyebrows and shivered as his hands ran up the back of her thighs.
“Fine. I’ll stay,” she said, smirking like it took any effort to convince her.
“Good. Let’s throw some clothes on so we can go get some Cold Stone. I know that’ll make you feel better.”
Orielle shook her. “Actually, something else would.”
“Something like what?”
Najee was eager to know and give it to her.
“You know what.” She grinned, and he caught the hint.
“Nah. Tell me. You’re a big girl.”
“Najee,” she whined, toying with her fingers. “Why do I have to say it?”
“Because you need to be confident in saying what you want, baby. Let me hear it.”
Orielle huffed and fidgeted before him. This was mental foreplay.
“Some dick would make me feel better.”
“That’s it?” Najee asked, cuffing her ass cheeks.
She shook her head. “No. Your head between my legs would make me feel one hundred times better.”
Najee let out a deep laugh. “See. That wasn’t so hard. You playing shy like you don’t be fucking the shit out of me.”
She smirked and shook her head. “Whatever. I just can’t believe I’m turned on after the way I was just crying,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s so embarrassing.”
“Nothing to be embarrassed about, Pretty Girl. That’s what’s supposed to happen cause your body knows it’s safe with me. You’re about to be crying right on this dick, too.”
Orielle literally had no complaints. The thought of going home ran from her mind as she slid down his dick and moaned. There would be no more running if Najee had any say so.