CHAPTER 12
Pick your moments with care.
I’m almost finished adding all the recent expenses in the club’s ledger, when another text pops up on my phone from Bodie. Before reading the thread, I massage my temples and pop some aspirin, attempting to fight off today’s migraine that’s been gnawing at the front of my skull.
Yo, the boys and I are headed over. We’re bringing the party to your place tonight.
We’re here. Where you at?
Are you dead or ignoring me?
The only voicemail is from Dozer. “Hey, brother. A couple of the boys wanted to head your way. See you in a few.”
I shove the phone in my pocket, lock my office, and head to the main floor.
It doesn’t take long to find Raven and check in.
It’s a pretty slow weekday night, so I don’t expect anything out of the ordinary.
After giving me a rundown, she says, “You know, I am quite capable of handling everything in your absence.” Before I can respond, she adds, “You look like shit. Rough day on the books?”
“Migraine.”
Her lips press into a line. “I’d say head home and get some sleep, but I know you won’t.”
She’s right. If I left, I’d just spend my time worrying about shit going wrong.
“Why don’t you take the rest of the night off? I can handle things ’til close,” she offers, her tone soft, almost sympathetic.
My first instinct is to tell her no—that I’m fine and can handle it—but putting up a front for the rest of the night and staying on my feet? I don’t have the energy. My body feels like it’s been hit by a truck.
Raven pats my chest lightly. “Don’t worry. If something big comes up, I’ll come get you.”
I nod, grateful for once to let someone else take the reins.
I find my brothers at their usual table
“Where the fuck you been, man?” Bodie hollers the moment he sees me.
“Here. Workin’. Where else?” I slap hands with Dozer. Griz stands to clap me on the back, and Mav and Stone give me chin nods from across the table. Taz tips his beer in my direction before his eyes flick back to the stage. Stone follows suit with a nod.
Bodie’s stare lingers on me. The smile he had a second ago fades as he takes me in. He shares a look with Dozer.
“What?” I ask gruffly.
He simply shakes his head and takes a long pull of his beer.
I hike my thumb over my shoulder. “Gonna go out for a smoke. Ya’ll good? Need anything?” I flag down Gina, one of the waitresses. I ask her to take good care of them before I head out for fresh air and a break from the music and lights.
Out the back door, I light up a joint, which seems to be the only thing lately that will grant me any relief from the pain. Being in the dark helps too.
By the time I make it back inside, the party has kicked into high gear.
Most of the customers have cleared out. Only the die-hards remain.
Some of the dancers who’ve finished for the night have stayed to hang out with the guys.
Usually, I wouldn’t mind an impromptu get-together, but tonight I’m done in.
I tell myself I’ll have one beer and call it a night.
I even drag it out, though it takes a lot out of me to do so. But I figure if I can prove I’m fine, maybe Bodie will get off my ass about the headaches and quit acting like my fucking babysitter.
Lily walking into the main bar area, wearing a tight red lace top, skinny jeans that look painted the fuck on, and snake-skin heels, has second-guessing that idea.
She and Raven talk for a bit. When they close the group at the table, Bodie reaches out to grab Raven’s hand. She’s too fast for him, though, and swats at him. Then she proceeds to back away while making the sign of the cross with her fingers.
“One day, Raven,” he says. “You’re gonna regret not gettin’ a piece of this.”
“Yes, that day is called when pigs fly with rainbow wings, and the world is ass up and backwards. Plus, we’d have to be the only two people on Earth, which means I’d be desperate as hell. Until then, my friend, I’ll happily keep a ten-foot pole between us.”
Bodie palms his crotch. “It’s not ten feet, but it’s big enough to make even you beg for mercy.”
She shakes her head. “It’s not the size of the dick, or haven’t you heard. You gotta know how to use it.” She shrugs one shoulder and smirks.
Bodie purses his lips in a pout. “Come on. Teach me. I’m all for lessons if you wanna show a brother how it’s done.”
She scrunches up her nose in disgust and turns to me. “Can we not house-train him before letting him out in public? Surely there’s gotta be a collar we can buy, a zapper or something we can use anytime he misbehaves.”
Taz takes the toothpick from between his lips and points it at Raven. “That’s not a bad fuckin’ idea.”
“Seconded,” Griz adds.
Bodie throws up the bird and flashes it around the room. “Fuck you all. I’m not wearin’ no damn collar.” He tilts his head, and something wicked flashes in his blue eyes. “Unless Raven’s holdin’ the end of my leash and ridin’ my cock, while callin’ me a good boy. I’m down for that.”
Raven laughs full out. “You’re incorrigible.”
The banter continues as more dancers join us. Raven drags a chair over to our table. Before Lily can grab one, Stone pipes up, “Got a seat right here for ya, babygirl,” patting his lap with a lecherous grin.
“That right?” She gifts him with a coy smile.
The interaction makes my blood boil. It’s been going on for weeks now—the flirting.
Weeks. As in, she’s been all but ignoring me and acting weird as fuck, and yet anytime my brothers visit the club, there’s massive flirting going on.
Stone’s her most recent conquest. Hell, he probably instigated tonight’s impromptu party so he could get another crack at trying to get under her skirt.
I don’t realize how tense I’ve become until Dozer glances at me. Stone catches on too, turning with a raised brow.
“What?” he asks, his tone has an edge. “You got a problem with this?”
Every eye at the table shifts toward me. I grunt, which is about all I can manage. I can’t voice shit, because I don’t know how to speak about what the fuck I’m feeling. Frustration. Anger. And the magnitude of jealousy shocks the shit out of me.
Being tongue-tied is new.
Lily answers that question. “I’m my own woman, thank you very much.”
“Whoa. Easy there, killer. Just checkin’ in with the boss man,” Stone says.
Bodie watches me. When I don’t say shit, he huffs. A moment later, he pulls one of the other dancers into his lap with a dramatic flourish and ravages her mouth without asking. She swats at him at first, but within seconds, she completely falls under his spell and melts into him.
“Jesus, man,” Taz scolds.
When the kiss finally breaks, the girl’s breathless. Bodie gives her a wicked smile, palming her tit, and wiggling his eyebrows at her. I roll my eyes at her giggle.
Griz laughs. “How the fuck he gets away with that shit, I’ll never know.”
“You and me both,” I mutter.
Taz is standing, arms crossed just behind Griz, and glares down at Bodie.
My focus shifts to Lily as she speaks to Stone. Her hand is on his shoulder as she circles him. He grabs her waist, pulling her onto his lap.
It’s a straight punch to the chest. The more I watch, the hotter my blood runs.
It takes everything I have to sit here and watch.
I try to reengage in the conversation around me, but it’s a lost cause.
The way he chats her up, the way she flirts sweetly back, and plays up his ego—yeah, both annoy the fuck out of me. But worse is the way she smiles at him.
Fucking Christ. That does something to me, twists my insides into a tight knot.
I want nothing more than to yank her off his lap and slam my fist into his smarmy face. Every word he says is ridiculous, and she eats it up like he’s waxing poetic. Swear to fuck, it’s acid to my goddamn ears.
I grind my jaw and hunch forward over the table.
Fuck.
The music is cranked and shit gets out of hand. Clothes come off, people pair off, and dancers get extra friendly in a way that regular customers pay top dollar for. As long as it’s consensual, I don’t care—except where Lily’s concerned.
The sight of her grinding against Stone a few feet away makes me want to rip out my eyeballs. It’s that fucking painful to watch. His hand freely roams over her ass, and her arm is around his neck, their faces close. Fucking inches apart.
Dozer leans over and nudges me. “Why the fuck didn’t you say somethin’?”
“Say what?” My voice is hoarse, pure gravel.
“Don’t play stupid with me, Goose. We both know how smart you are.”
“She’s my employee.”
He tugs his chair closer and places his large, crossed arms on the table to keep the convo private. “Just ’cause you haven’t gone there, doesn’t mean you can’t. Shit happens.”
“After what went down with Jules and Jaxson?” I shake my head. “How would that look? Plus, it’s not like she’s interested. I mean, look at her, man.”
The displeasure on his face says that answer’s bullshit. “Don’t let a good thing pass you by. Club be damned.”
“That’s rich.” The insinuation about him and Bethany and the history there is left unsaid.
Two frown lines crease his forehead. “Yeah, don’t I fuckin’ know it. There was a time, before she married Hodge, that I didn’t take my shot. I let bullshit get in the way. I regret that. Wish I’d stepped up, and worked to figure our shit out.”
“You still could.”
He shakes his head and looks down at the table. Then he grabs his beer and chugs the rest of it. “It’s about picking the right moment, though. You step up at the wrong time, you’re gonna fuck up a lot of people’s lives, or risk another rejection. Just waitin’ for my next moment.”
I openly stare at Stone and Lily now. They’re so lost in each other, they’re none the wiser.
“This is your fuckin’ moment,” Dozer says, tilting his beer in Lily’s direction. It’s the same moment Stone pulls her face close to his and kisses her.
The jealousy rioting through my body is unlike anything I’ve ever known. It’s a new kind of pain. It stretches and digs deep under my skin. I exhale a pent-up breath and feel the loss of something vital down to my bones. “Nah, man. Think it already fuckin’ passed me by and that shits on me.”
Dozer slaps his large hand on my shoulder. “Welcome to the club inside the club, man. The dumb fuckers who revel in chaos and are full of regrets.”
We both chuckle, and Dozer gets up to grab liquor bottles from behind the bar. He fills our glasses, then clinks his against mine before we each take a large swallow. We get blitzed, and within an hour, I’m too fucked up to care about anything or anyone.
Raven becomes our babysitter and DD. My last memories of the night are of her cursing out my name as her and Dozer help my drunk ass up the stairs to my apartment. That and her asking me, as I tug my shirt off, if I’m solid.
“Fuckin’ peachy,” I grumble, plopping down onto the end of my bed and struggling to take off my boots. The world blacks out after that.